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February 12, 2007: Meeks/Hoover
Is it me, or is this show seeming to follow a pattern of throwing together faith followers and non-faith followers? Every week, there’s been some kind of spirituality divide, and it’s usually been a really wide divide, not just minor differences driving a wedge between them. It usually causes a big blow-up, loads of drama and some moaning about preaching and morality. I always get the feeling that nothing really changed, but why should it when it’s about something as intrinsic as spirituality? That can’t be changed in the course of two weeks. But tonight there was something different about it, at least with Tony Meeks and Kristin Hoover.
Tony used to be a pastor. I liked when Kristin asked how he went from pastor to punk, and Tony replied that it wasn’t a large jump. It’s interesting that both Tish and Tony Meeks had religious upbringings and wound up on the other end of the rebellious spectrum. There has to be some middle ground where they can come together. Having keg parties all night long, giving up your life savings for your band, keeping your kids up till 3 am, making them wake themselves up — all of this seemed detrimental to them as a family.
Benji Meeks (who was so adorable!) confessed that he thought his parents paid more attention to their punk-rock band than to him. He sounded so miserable when he said it, but then when Kristin Hoover said they had to put away the video games and have a family night, he started bawling. Tony didn’t have to lay a guilt trip on Kristin and say she made a kid cry. But I think if they were really interested in other things besides their punk-rock band, then they would do it. And why do they need to have beer on tap 24/7? They’re adults and they’re parents. Tony likes his alcohol. Boy, does he like his alcohol. I understand the connection between punk rock and beer, but there should be a limit. When you have kids, you should learn to grow up and put limits on yourself. I don’t mean they have to give up alcohol and punk rock altogether, but they should make some changes. I think Kristin telling Tony to take down the bar and use the wood to make the family a place where they could play some games was a good start.
I didn’t agree with Kristin homeschooling Tony’s kids and making them draw pictures of the crucifixion. The story she told them was definitely meant to scare them, and they shouldn’t have been told a story like that without their parents in the room. That scared me, the way she was talking to them and telling them about murder and jail and Jesus. She seemed like a nice person and she was there for Tony when he lost his job and needed support. But I got the sense that she was only going to want to change you into sharing her faith, in a sense indoctrinating you. I’m glad that Tony was able to find comfort in Kristin’s support, but that scene in which she was in the room with his kids and teaching them biblical principles unnerved me.
What unnerved me more was this guy Steve Hoover. He seemed so stiff, and I didn’t buy that he learned to relax more. Maybe he did. He let his girls bang on their instruments and didn’t mind the noise. But he was so resistant throughout the whole thing. I understood his resistance when it came to wearing pants (is that really part of the Mennonite religion?), but I’m not all for him making Kristin do all the housework without him lifting a finger. She has to make homemade bread and pies on a moment’s notice? I have a bread maker, but I don’t know how to use it. I’ve never made a homemade pie before, either. And he puts a crib in front of her room so that it’s the first thing she sees in the morning? I know he rejected the idea that he put the crib there as a psychological way to get Kristin to want to have more kids, but come on. Why have the crib right there when you don’t have a baby? He wanted more kids, he made that known, and Kristin didn’t want more kids.
I don’t think Steve and I would get along, but he and Kristin seem to be very much in love and this experience seemed to push them closer together. He at least reserves one night a week for Kristin and that’s a small step in the right direction. And the Meeks family? Well, Tony got fired and decided to put all of his energy into the punk-rock band. He’s letting God back into his life and spending more time with the kids, but I don’t know about the band thing. It cost him his job and they put their life savings into it. Wouldn’t you want to have a fallback plan, something that can take care of your kids if the band doesn’t work out? I know I would.
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Feb 12, 2007 10:09 PM
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I normally enjoy the differences although it does seem that they find really extreme families. I just find them so unbelievable. For instance, the punk rockers have keg parties EVERY night? They let their kids stay up to 3-4 in the morning AND those kids are able to get themselves up for school? Oh and I didn't buy that an ex pastor would expect that a woman who has told him how religious she is would be able to comfortably screech out a song full of cuss words. But though I'm doubtful that the household is quite as extreme as it was made out, I did feel very sorry for those kids. Both their parents are obviously much more interested in reliving their 20's at the expense of their children or the family as a whole.
I was very impressed with Tony's observations about the inconsistencies Kristen so glibly spewed. I was especially proud of him for pointing out that if she felt that a spouse should help to make their partner happy then why was her spouse doing nothing to help her out around the house? I thought that Tony and Kristen made more of an effort to understand one another without being obnoxious about their individual points of view.
Steve on the other hand was extremely militant in his treatment of Tony's wife [sorry, totally blanking on her name, we'll just call her "Heathen Rocker"  ]. It seemed that she tried hard to adhere to the way things happened in his household then when the tables were turned he obstinately refused to even give consideration to hers. I thought he overreacted to the whole keg thing and really he gave up a perfect lesson giving opportunity for the kid's oh so important indoctrination. Steve doesn't drink, presumably none of his buddies drink, so the only one that would have been drinking would have been Heathen Rocker. What better way to get a lesson across to the kids, huh? On the other hand, HR never should have bought a keg for a house full of non-drinkers. At least she got her sensitivity back in time to let the kids give their music video debut.
And good for HR for correctly pointing out the psychogical warfare Steve is practicing on Kristen with the baby crib. He may never admit to it, but he knows what he was doing and now he knows he isn't putting anything over on anyone.
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Feb 13, 2007 10:52 AM
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I often wonder if local children's services follow up with some of these families. I mean, bringing up your kids is one thing, but allowing certain practices may be criminal.
For example, was it one or two weeks ago when the one family's mom knew about her 12 or 13 year old daughter posting sexy pics and saying she was 16 on her blog? Yet mom just threw up her hands and whined there was nothing she could do.
In this episode, I can't see how those little girls in the uber-religious family are getting a solid education when they're "pledging alligence to the bible" and only learning verses. And of course the Meeks children's parents barely seem to recognize the fact that they have kids at all!
If I was a social worker, I'd be making a lot of phone calls all over the country after watching some of these episodes. JMHO...
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Feb 14, 2007 6:44 PM
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