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« Law & Order: Criminal Intent
November 7, 2006: Country Crossover
Well, tonight's hour makes it two freak-show episodes in a row. After last week’s Liza-fest, this time we got a whole motley crew: a country-punk producer with a fragile spleen, a bouncer who based his life on Batman and Mortal Kombat, and then the usual assortment of cokehead strippers and sleazeball club owners.
And while this sideshow act made for an entertaining look into the seedy business that’s birthed recent monstrosities such as Brooke Hogan and Paris Hilton, it wasn’t exactly deeply resonant drama.
Miss Western Pennsylvania may have slept with her producer and then had her husband unknowingly off the poor little guy, but she did it all for love. Really. Just like hubby did it all for love — and bragging rights with his tobacco-chewin’ clan back east and assuaging his bruised ego. But for love, too.
I didn’t exactly feel anything, but I’ll admit to being surprised when Miss Western PA pled to orchestrating the whole murder. I had pegged the husband for it (working alone) the minute the chauvinist pig wouldn’t let Logan help her serve that coffee. (All that was missing was, "Get back in the kitchen and make me some pie.")
But when the whole twisted plot was laid out on the table, I just didn’t care who exactly did what, or why they did it. Maybe that’s because the 'why' really didn’t make much sense: My husband is pushing me into this singing thing, but I don’t wanna be a singer. What to do, what to do? Oh, I know, I’ll have him beat my producer to death. That will solve all of our problems. Yeah, what a great plan!
In the end, these characters were all so shallow and even downright stupid that I was pretty much only rooting for big crazy Goro. Sure, he shot a couple of people execution-style, but his heart was in the right place. They were stripper-harassing drug dealers, after all. At least the guy’s got some principles.
Come to think of it, I’d rather have followed him for the second half of the episode. I know confessing to the shootings took him out of the picture dramatically, but I ask you, who’s more interesting: another fallen starlet or a 7-foot-tall black guy who spouts Chinese philosophy and thinks he’s some kind of superhero vigilante? I rest my case.
But at least we got a couple of good one-liners from Logan, who seems to be picking up where the late, great Lennie Briscoe left off. On finding one of the stripper's "party favors" on the crime scene: "Cocaine in a recording studio. I’m shocked. Shocked." Classic.
I was also amused to hear the sleazy club owner ask Logan, "How come every time I see you, you’ve got a new partner?" A bit in-jokey, but still a nice little nod to die-hards who’ve followed the Law & Order franchise through its many permutations.
It was also interesting to see more of the police-precinct dynamics, with Wheeler wanting to run right to Captain Danny with the producer’s murder, and the grizzled Logan reproaching her: "You don’t wake your captain up for this." The next day, the captain seemed to disagree, loudly. But rather than sell out her partner, Wheeler just took the heat. Way to take one for the team, Peter Pan. (I’m not the only one who thinks Julianne Nicholson would look totally appropriate leading the Lost Boys in a valiant fight against a certain one-handed captain, am I?)
Next Week: The Nanny herself, Fran Drescher, comes looking for another career resurrection with a dramatic turn as a mother whose daughter goes missing. If she lost another kid, Mr. Sheffield is so gonna fire her.
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Nov 7, 2006 11:03 PM
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I also didn't really care who killed the producer in the end. I just wanted the bad acting to stop.
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Nov 8, 2006 2:07 AM
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I agree, the acting was sub-standard in this ep.
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Nov 8, 2006 3:23 AM
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All was made right in this episode with the line: "What are we going to do, tell the DA we suspect him of being a big scary black man?"
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Nov 8, 2006 4:50 AM
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"I’m not the only one who thinks Julianne Nicholson would look totally appropriate leading the Lost Boys in a valiant fight against a certain one-handed captain, am I?"
No! I thought she looked like Peter Pan from the first time I saw her. I don't mind her on CI, but I did like the last woman who played Logan's partner more.
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Nov 9, 2006 10:33 AM
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Julianne Nicholson looks so young now with that ridiculous haircut. It is not adult or even feminine. I had short hair for 20 years but it never looked like a man-do.
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Nov 10, 2006 4:14 PM
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