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« Hey Paula
Episode Recap: ISO Beauty Sleep… Yet Again!
First things first: a new theme song? No! I hate it! Bravo, go back to “Straight Up." At least when I heard that, visions of teenage summer camp danced through my formerly obese head. Now when I hear that new theme “song” (term used loosely), all I envision is a desperate Faith Hill wannabe in an elevator-music recording studio, attempting to warble her way to musical mediocrity.
I absolutely loathe this new ditty! Bravo, straight up now tell me, do you really want me to love Hey Paula forever? If so, give me my old theme song back, because this new one is way too legit to not quit.
So Paula began her 30 minutes of reality fame by making an appearance at the In Defense of Animals benefit. Without a doubt, I am 100 percent two-thumbs-up for this, having just adopted two cats from a shelter myself. And kudos to Paula for her new assistant, Cher. I see that Kiley has been promoted (or demoted, whatever the case may be) to “stylist” (whatever that occupational title may mean). As long as Kiley is in no way, shape or form responsible for dressing Paula, tending to her wardrobe or managing her overall exterior stylings, I’m all for the change. This Cher seems to have a good head on her padded shoulders. (And Kiley seems to like shiny buttons and Velcro, so it’s a win/win situation for everyone involved!)
So we get that you’re starving, Paula! That IDA green-room basket was a joke. Apparently you’ve never been to the TV Guide Network green room. You simply must stop by for a visit. Perhaps during a taping of Reality Chat? [Insert shameless TV Guide Network plug here]
Paula eventually found food, though, in the form of a vending machine... where she proceeded to dance for a strange man in order to obtain a one-dollar bill. I will hold my ever-witty tongue, but you may insert your own stripper-on-the-pole-with-Washington-bills-in-her-G-string here. Paula, just take my mom’s advice and always keep an extra few dollar bills stuffed in your sock. It will save you, evidently, much public embarrassment in the future.
Between Paula’s “team meetings” and her trips to QVC, one thing is surely evident: she’s a modern-day working woman. I have all the respect in the world for that, but Paula, please stop exhaustively monologuing about your perpetual seven-day work week. Anyone with any level of success in “the biz” works seven days a week, if not 24-hours a day.
If you don’t like it, move to Birmingham and get a job in the Piggly Wiggly stockroom (where you’d be lucky to get 40 hours a week, and you’d probably still make just as much as your double-hawking shifts on QVC.)
Either way, the overall arc of this episode, installment No. 4, wasn’t good or bad. Like last week’s, it just was. This time at least, Paula came off looking fairly decent — granted, a bit scatterbrained, but justifiably so. Anyone in their right (or not-so-right) mind would feel the same way about her schedule.
I wuld advise that Paula take a catnap, a very long one. She'll need her beauty rest before next week, because we all want to see if, how and when she gets to Letterman. Good night and sleep tight; don’t let the crazy bugs bite!
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Jul 13, 2007 9:49 AM
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You summed up the episode best: It just was.
It's getting really hard to watch Paula be high, hungry, irritable, sad, and angry all within 27 minutes.
We get it... you work hard. My solution? Learn how to say "no." At some point in life you have to realize that no one will care about you as much as you. Or as Paula's shrink might put it, "No one will ever treat you like the gift that you are. So get over yourself."
My new big question: Where is Paula's family to insulate her from the drama?
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Jul 13, 2007 10:25 AM
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Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn! (Like Paula, her life BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORES me!)
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Jul 13, 2007 10:38 AM
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I cannot believe Paula has such terrible assistants!!! Kathy Griffin on the D List seems to get it together whereas Paula on supposedly the A List can't! Sheesh!! So many people surrounding her and she can't get them to listen to her?? No one has a little snack or something with them, the merchandising person doesn't put away jewelry on the side for her, she can't say "NO" to something and insist she get proper rest??? She considers herself a gift? Please, Paula boo hoo for you!
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Jul 13, 2007 1:16 PM
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Watching Paula is like watching crazy glue dry. (Come on, THAT was funny!)
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Jul 13, 2007 1:29 PM
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Paula's been in the entertainment biz for like two decades, right? Why is it that she can never make it to functions on time? She can't even be on time to events where she's receiving an award. That is completely unprofessional. The woman has enough assistants to fill a wing of her mansion, yet nothing ever runs smoothly.
I always thought Paula was kind of a ditz, but this show is making her seem like a witch too. Everytime something goes wrong, her response to the situation is very rude and childish. There's no way I would work for her, and I certainly wouldn't even want a job that placed me in her general area on a frequent basis.
On the subject of her alleged insomnia: lay off the caffeine! You can't expect to sleep when you're hopped up on Starbucks all day. She was so tired after her first QVC show, but did she go to sleep? No, she went shopping! And if she's so busy that she can't find the time (or the money apparently) to eat, she should invest in protein bars. Or hire another assistant to walk around with a cooler stocked with food.
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Jul 13, 2007 6:03 PM
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