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« Carnosaur 3: Primal Species
It's NOT a carnosaur movie.
It didn't really get anywhere. It just follows the same precepts of the previous two(Man creating dinos and it starts killin people). It starts off with some European terrorists (we have to be politically correct, after all) attacking a military convoy guarding a truck carrying what they think is uranium and take it to an abandoned warehouse in a harbor. What's actually inside the truck are two genetically built velociraptors and a female T-rex. Incidentally, the great method of keeping these three animals secure is to blow cold air on them - and thats it. I guess defense budget cuts took away cages. So an anti-terrorist squad are sent in to recover the three dinosaurs. But they aren't TOLD what they're looking for because "That's classified" - which is like saying, "OK boys, we need you to kill this guy. Nope sorry, we can't tell you who, that's classified." Of course, it's not until AFTER the carnosaurs have killed two team members that the higher-ups say, "Oh yeah, by the way, you're up against three dinosaurs." By the way, they can't KILL the carnosaurs because apparently these things were bred to help stop disease. However, at no point in the movie are ever told WHAT disease these carnosaurs can cure, or WHY the government chose dinosaurs in the first place. The sharks in "Deep Blue Sea" were forgivable because the super-IQ was an unknown side-affect, but this is just ridiculous. What does this movie have against donkeys? Usually a film like this can get by with a bad storyline, but this had some atrocious writing in it as well. The marine Johnson is a black marine, so he gets to say stereotype things like, "Take dis mutha fugga!" When the police storm into the empty warehouse and see five small body parts scattered around a big room their sergeant says, "Looks like a plane crashed through here!" And by the way...what was with all the donkey references?! You think I'm kidding? The colonel calls Polchek a "dumbass donkey" at the beginning of the movie, then there are two more donkey remarks while they're hunting the carnosaurs, and then at the end of the movie the girl marine says, "Johnson, if you see any thing bigger than a donkey, shoot it!" Did the writers have a thing for donkeys? What is this!?
After many deaths, the characters say, "Hey! Here's an idea! Let's put them on a boat AND THEN try to capture them!" instead of saying, "Wait a minute, it's not the method that's failing us, it's the whole LOGIC." As predicted, this doesn't work either, and so they must resort to using C-4, which they suddenly have. I guess the C-4 fairy paid a visit or some thing, I don't know...
There is ONE good scene though: while the female scientist is blabbing on about the features of the three carnosaurs, Polchek and Sanders are passing notes to each other and snickering the whole time. I felt that this film was created as a joke, and not to be taken seriously.
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Feb 17, 2007 8:39 PM
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Hey man! Are you even a tad bit aware what the Carnosaur species is?? I am an experienced paleontologist and have been studying this feature quite largly. The incorporated concepts have been made clear to be actual relationaships made with the Carnosaurs themselves. Polchek and Sanders seem to be exhibiting ritualistic behavior of the spell of the Carnosaur, and thier behavior is not to be taken lightly. Let this be a warning ll you criminals! Booyakasha!
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Apr 22, 2007 1:49 AM
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