Survivor: Cook Islands

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was a season that certainly had it’s ups and downs, but if Survivor:Cook Islands were a movie, it would be up for an Oscar.
Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration, I present the best of Cook Islands.

The Best Challenges:
Sure, we had a few recycled challenges, but someone on that staff got a shot of creativity that brought us some truly innovative, interesting and challenging competitions.
These last two immunity challenges had me literally on the edge of my seat. Squarely in Aitu’s corner, it was near torture seeing Adam as a real threat to an all-Aitu final four.
Ozzy’s come-from-behind win in the spider web/puzzle challenge was reality television at its best. It wasn’t his physical prowess that amazed me the most this time — I didn’t even know he had a brain until he wowed me by solving that compass-rose puzzle.

Then there was the final immunity challenge. I loved that vanishing platform. How nice of Burnett to even the playing field by tailoring the platform to everyone’s foot. Did you notice Becky’s coat-tail dreams drift away when Yul fell into the water? And good for Sundra for giving Ozzy a real run for his money. It was at that point that I really wanted her to make final three, but that dream went up in flames — oh no, it didn’t! More on that later.

The Best Final Four:
The truth be told, I was still holding a little bit of a grudge against Ozzy for his engineering Billy’s ouster way back when. I finally forgave Ozzy when he pushed the idea of a forced tie between Sundra and Becky. That was a very classy and strategic move that took the onus off of him to choose a finalist while making the women duel it out for their place in the finals.

The Best Tribal Councils:
I didn’t think any tribal council could be funnier than the one revealing Billy’s infamous love connection, but the tears, snorts and belly laughs that erupted from me at the hour mark of Sundra and Becky’s fire-making challenge will not soon be forgotten. Jeff should have booted both women out of the competition when Sundra ran out of matches. I can understand the flint being a little challenging, but if, after 39 days, you can’t start a fire with a match, then you don’t deserve to win the million dollars.

The Best Use of the Hidden Immunity Idol and Exile Island Twists:
All season I wanted to see that idol come into play. Though he didn’t save himself from eviction with it, Yul pulled a Romber (Rob and Amber to the uninitiated) by using the idol to his advantage in an unexpected way and changing up the whole game. And the Aitu Four using Exile Island as a weapon was fantastic. Sorry, Candice.

There were a lot of other little things that went into making this such a great season: A diverse cast, an innovative crew, and, most of all, Burnett’s willingness to switch things up. Having a final three was almost like having Ross Perot in the election. Becky could have split the vote, but in the end she didn’t matter. Hell, most of the jury didn’t even consider her a contender, choosing instead to question only Yul and Ozzy. Becky didn’t get even one vote!

Little Things:

— “The fire you brought to the game….” It can’t just be me who thought Parvati was coming on to Ozzy as she cast her final vote.
— Why was Nate on crutches at the final Tribal Council?
— Even at the reunion, Rebecca still had nothing to say.
— The eye-rolling from Adam, Candice and Parvati: so not called for.
— Poor Becky. She thought she played a social game, yet from what we could see she only spoke to Yul.
— Why did Adam feel the need to diss Sundra? “You’re also boring,” he claimed, but she wasn’t even in the finals!
— Jonathan’s right, there is no villain in Monopoly.
— Sekou’s Survivor song: way to keep yourself relevant in the game, man.
— So Model Boxing is a real profession? Seriously, I think the Aitu Four should get their own show.

Cook Islands, in my mind at least, will go down in history as one of the best Survivors ever. It started with a gimmick and ended with a hero. I could try to sum this season up in a word that begins with a Y and ends with an L... but I can’t give all the credit to Yul, though he did say it best. “The strongest teams are those that have a diversity of perspective.” The same can be said of Survivor.

For some reason I really thought Parvati would end up in the finals. Not due to any true game play on her part, but merely out of some cosmic irony. Rarely have I seen a castaway who has done as little as she. I was wrong. Even with the seismic tremors at Aitu — Becky and Sundra maneuvering to oust Ozzy — the easily influenced Yul pulled his strings and chose Adam as the Raro member most worthy of staying.

As much as Yul denies it, he is the top dog on the island, and he wears the Puppet Master title well. The thing is, even though he is the whole Survivor package — smart, strong, has ripped abs — he thinks too much and that overactive brain may just knock him out of the game.

In case you hadn't noticed because you were distracted by Yul's mud-caked torso, there will be five people in the finals! Five relatively strong competitors. Seriously, who thought Sundra would last this long? After the first merge, Flicka was in a better position than the alliance-free Sundra, and yet does anyone remember the rollergirl now?

So tonight, everybody took a mud bath at the reward challenge in hopes of winning a real shower and a massage. Ozzy somehow carried 45 pounds of mud on his person to win reward. How does one gain a skill like that? Either way, it got him the best shower of his life and a nude hot-tub experience with Yul and Parvati, who I think said she had peed in the water. Now that's a reward! Best line of the night? Sundra explaining that Parvati was napping because "she had a hard day getting her massage."

The immunity challenge was another multi-part obstacle-course puzzle that Ozzy won easily, therefore blowing Becky's plan to vote him out. Yul was the only one giving Ozzy any kind of run for the win but, again, he fell short. I’m not sure if Yul's not trying hard to win because he has the idol, or if he honestly just can't beat Ozzy.

At tribal, the jury filed in, and I couldn't help but wonder how things were going back at the hotel now that Jonathan had crossed over. (Seriously, I wish they'd show us some after-the-torch moments with the jury members.) Even showered and shaved, Jonathan was still a large part of the island game. Last tribal council, Jonathan asked to get his hat back. At this tribal, Yul obliged. In what some might call jury tampering, Probst aggressively suggested that Yul's action was more of a jury-stroking move than a friendly gesture. So now everyone thinks Yul is evil. And if you look back over the season you have to ask, who's the real puppet master in this show?

We may get our answer this Sunday when Survivor: Cook Islands airs its finale. Four represented ethnic groups, five finalists, nine jury members and a million dollars at stake. Will we see the cursed-car reward? Will we have to suffer through the somber parade of losers? I, for one, can skip the sentimental stroll down torch lane if it will get me to the reunion show faster. Remember to set your DVRs, because this finale may be a keeper.

And now we know why Parvati doesn't do any work at camp. It's just not safe. The girl nearly sliced her thumb off trying to open a coconut. Tragic as that may have been, Parvati's mishap allowed us another glimpse of that cute Aussie doctor from last season. Her sacrifice will not go unnoticed in my book.

This week was the family visits. Sundra's heartfelt weeping at the sight of her mother had me wondering if she'd be able to actually perform in the reward challenge of throwing water from one bucket into another while blindfolded. I’m still not sure. Mom wasn’t catching much water and Sundra was all over the place. While Jonathan and his wife were well-matched — both competitive and innovative — it was the injured Parvati and her father who won the challenge and chose Sundra and Adam to join in the reward.

What happened next is why I think Cook Islands is clearly among the best Survivors we've seen. While the winners were feasting and Jonathan was at Exile Island, courtesy of Parvati, the remaining players were plotting to hide food from their enemies. These people are playing to win, but not with all the sneaky Richard Hatch tactics that made surviving purely a social game. Jonathan is Hatch-lite. He's an emotional player who did his best to play his opponents off of each other while he advanced. But this week, when I had finally fallen off of my fence and landed in the yard that liked him, Jonathan got the boot. The show has lost a worthy player. Up to the end, Jonathan made a strong case for staying on the island. On any other season, he might still be in the game. So long, Jonathan. I for one will miss you.

Another reason the season is great is that Burnett has stepped up the challenges. This week, going for immunity was a punishing ordeal. I honestly thought Sundra broke her leg on that fall she took off the barrel. And yet Ozzy literally flew over that obstacle course and won immunity like it was nothing. Even so, we continued to pay attention, because it was a close race between him and Yul.

Cook Islands has a good cast, a good location and good challenges. Frankly, Burnett could have ditched the whole ethnic divide stunt, because this group of characters did not need it to make the show work. I believe the castaways are playing the game the way Burnett first envisioned it, and as viewers we're getting our money's worth. Maybe it's because the castaways are not students of the game, as past players have been. Maybe it's because the cast is more diverse. I don't know. What I do know is that Cook Islands has been mighty entertaining. And even though we've already seen a mutiny, a thrown challenge, an invasion, a lost-at-sea moment and a dominant group withholding food, I can't wait to see more.

This show is so good I am almost moved to write poetry, and yet there are no words to express how much I'm enjoying Survivor: Cook Islands. Alas, I will attempt to recap the happenings at the Aitutonga tribe.

In the aftermath of Nate's departure, Parvati was outspoken about her disappointment in Jonathan. She was so upset with him that she could vomit on his face. Now, she's billed as a boxer. Would a right cross not suffice? Parvati did make me laugh — when Jonathan flat-out told her that "Yul does have the idol," and she still did not believe him. Hilarious. Perhaps, Nate should have left his glasses behind.

Like I should talk. For weeks now I've watched the rat footage and mused as to why the show always cut to Jonathan afterward. Perhaps Burnett is trying to tell us something? Um, yeah. If you come away with anything from this episode, it's that everyone thinks Jonathan is a rat. He may very well be, but I'm thinking this rat's going to come out on top — at the end of Day 30, Probst was snuffing out Candice's torch and not Jonathan's.

It was close. After that auction — where Jonathan ate, drank and made merry in a most obnoxious manner — things were looking bad for the man who bought almost all of the food as well as forced bidding prices up on items he did not want. The Survivor auction is always interesting. People blindly vie for food rewards with their $500 purses in hopes of getting a meal from the mainland. To my recollection, this was the first time a bath was put on the block, making me wonder how pleasant things really are at the camp.

Overall, the auction was strange. Out of nowhere, Becky gets all determined to keep Candice from winning the mysterious "power" item that Jeff was selling. Immediately, Yul and Adam stake their women and drive the bids up. Becky won, gaining Candice's cash and the power to send someone immediately to Exile Island. Like we didn't see Candice's fourth visit coming. It's almost getting sad seeing her go. Almost.

Before Candice exited, Yul got all cocky and pulled out his idol for all to see (and Parvati to authenticate). There is no place for that in this game. Now I'm all worried that Yul's going to screw up and get played. Follow that up with his new passion for wooing potential jury members. Yul may be assuming too much in this game where fortunes keep changing. Just look at how Adam won immunity, and the Aitu four were all out of the running by the end of the first round. With Jonathan's record, Aitu could have been at risk.

The tribal councils this season have truly been the cherry atop my sundae. Coming off of a tension-filled dinner where the hard workers shunned the cool kids and Candice and Jonathan exchanged many a word, tribal council was heated. Nate enjoyed watching the fireworks. I surmise from his gesticulating that it was hard for him to merely observe all of the calling on the carpet. In the end, there was no group hug. But Adam and Candice shared what Nate might describe as a "dirty, stanky, whack" goodbye kiss. And like Parvati, it almost made me want to vomit.

I hate to say I told you so…but Nate perhaps you should have worn your glasses to tribal because you should have seen your ouster coming. Though it is clear from your parting words – Jonathan you can kiss my ass. You're a dirty, stanky, whack, fruitcake who sold me out, who sold out our tribe when we brought you in. You trading bastard. So kiss my ass Jonathan – that you were somewhat surprised and upset. On the other hand I don't know if anything could have saved Nate. His strategizing has been off for the whole season and he never saw how out there he was so it really was just a matter of time.

Tonight's show was nowhere near as exciting as last week's but it does rate up there as one of the season's best episodes. For the most part it was all about strategizing and deciding on the best move. They teased us a lot about the personal immunity idol. I expected that the idol would finally be used this week but, alas, Yul managed to stage a coup with only the mere threat of a weapon of mass destruction. Sound familiar?

Kudos to Yul – not Yuehl, nor Yule or whatever other combination of letters these people can come up with to spell his name – for managing to break the Raro contingency and get Jonathan back on his side! As Sundra said, the Aitu Four are strong. Raro continues to underestimate them and as such, their numbers also continue to dwindle.

So yeah, Aitu won immunity. Again. This was a tough one and I was on edge watching it, hoping and praying for anyone from Aitu to win. That Candice showed some strength on the pole but she's no Ozzy. He deservedly won the first individual immunity because he is amazing. I don't even think he got a blister. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention there was a merge and the new tribe is called Aitutonga. I wonder though if Aitu's sequence off the pole gave us a look into their future should they all make final four. First down was Sundra, followed by Becky, Yul and Ozzy. I'm just musing here so let's be clear that I have no idea who is going to win Survivor. No idea. I do not know. Okay?

Jonathan, who I have been on the fence about all season, has put himself into quite the position. I don’t think I've ever seen any Survivor player betray everyone on the island as blatantly as he has and still live to tell the story. I kind of like it. He may not be outwitting or outplaying the others but he is certainly outlasting them. He's got to know that he will be the first man out at Aitu but then again he was next to go at Raro so, what the hell, why not make a play? Jonathan could really stab Yul in the back now if he tells Raro who has the idol though I wonder if they'll take anything he says to heart. However, with the canoodling going on between Adam and Candice, I could see Parvati waffling since she's clearly the next person on the chopping block.

No bones about it, Aitutonga is a tribe in name only. The lines are clearly drawn and Jonathan is the swing vote that doesn't really matter any more. I can't wait for next week. Though given that it was Thanksgiving, I could have waited a week for this episode. Again, I’m just saying. Anyway, I hope you all had a great holiday and in case you were wondering, yes that was me you saw at the store at five a.m. this morning!

I love, love, love this show! It has excitement; it has conflict; it has betrayal; it has underdogs; it even has new verbs. Where else would you hear about octopussing? And Rebecca, if you chose only to speak one word during this week's show, I'm glad it was that one. Let's see, it is day 22, and over the course of the next three days Aitu pulled out another two challenge wins — making it a four-challenge sweep since the infamous mutiny. I'm so pleased for this underdog team, and who says that dog can't hold a grudge? They sent Candice to do yet another stint on Exile Island. And to display the workings of their well-oiled machine, Aitu members all chimed in together to call her name. Aww.

For whatever reason, Jonathan is bearing none of the brunt of the mutiny from his former 'mates. If he makes it to the merge, we'll see if all is forgiven. But Raro is going to have to start winning some immunity challenges. I mean, they have double the numbers, you'd think that would count for something. In Raro's case, double the numbers turned into a double elimination that sent both Rebecca and the pissed-off Jenny to seats two and three of the jury box. Things have become a little black and white on this tribe. The lesson for the week — surprises in bottles aren't always a good thing.

Given that Jenny suffered the most from the second vote, I'm wondering if Raro felt, as I did, that she was trying to throw the compass challenge by not digging. Not that it mattered. Adam and Candice spent enough time arguing over east by southeast to make Raro's loss a total team effort.

Aitu's reward was a very cool feast with the locals, who gave them a warrior's welcome and got Yul to engage in a little freak dancing. That's another thing I love about Survivor — it always makes an effort to show the native culture of the host islands. After this win, the "four orphans" were now well fed, relaxed and ready for yet another victory, because honestly any loss on their side would be a devastating blow. There are nine players left in the game, no sign of a merge, and Probst only knows how many more surprises are yet to come. This season has been many things — controversial, uneven, humorous and at times dull, but it has kept my attention. For the love of Survivor, that's why I keep watching.

Well, well, well. The show is getting interesting again. The Mutiny on the Bounty theme added a much-needed jolt to the Cook Islands Survivor. Jeff tossed out this new twist just before the reward challenge and, through the magic of editing, just after Jonathan and Candice chatted about breaking up their alliance of six. The offer? Mutiny. With ten seconds to decide, castaways could switch tribes. The only takers? Candice and Jonathan — thus leaving Aitu shorthanded with only four members to Raro's now eight.

Not only did this move piss Aitu off, but it also lit a fire under them. With half the numbers, Aitu went on to win both reward and immunity challenges, forcing Raro to tribal council. Aitu expressed its displeasure clearly by sending mutineer No. 1, Candice, to Exile Island. Jonathan worked his mojo as Raro's newest member by talking up Adam and doing all of the grunt work. While his new tribe relaxed to the sound of his working, Jonathan's former tribe bonded as if they had showered in Fixodent.

Yul, Becky, Ozzy and Sundra shared in a good cry and a group hug while ensconced in terry cloth bathrobes and dining on delectables. Methinks the pecking order that Aitu was working out last week has been turned on its ear. I loved how Sundra broke down in tears after winning the reward. The mutinous betrayal was a surprising move, and it was nice to see some real emotion on the show.

Nate had a million one-liners this week, though many of them had to do with poop. What surprised me most on Raro was the vote. Yet again, another Raro member did not see it coming. Brad was sent packing, and he didn’t seem to mind. He's happy with making the jury and no longer having to sleep outdoors.

From a strategic standpoint, why are Rebecca, Jenny and Nate not worried? Hello? You just got invaded by two members of the original Raro tribe; now the old gang is back together, and you are outnumbered. This should be interesting. I'm just waiting for that light bulb to go on. All I can say is Candice made a risky move by stepping out of Aitu, but it is working for her so far. She's playing both Adam and Jonathan just as Parvati has been playing Nate. Men — they're so easy. I expect Rebecca and Jenny to catch on to what's happening, but it may be too late to save themselves — unless, of course, there's a merge real soon.

Will Rebecca and Jenny be able to break into the Aitu four, or will they be completely on their own now? Are Yul and Becky still loyal to Candice and Jonathan, or did that alliance jump ship, too? Is Sundra now fully in Yul's alliance? Does Ozzy have a chance? So many questions! I'm excited again to see what's going to happen.

Let's talk about the challenges. That cannonball one was very clever, and it made everyone have to work together. Jonathan was walking farther and farther down the gangplank with every shot he missed; yet he's still in the game. Amazing. And you have to admire the guy for calling Jeff out on his over-active commentary. The barrel challenge looked uncomfortable and I'm sure those who rolled along inside have the bruises to prove it.

Though we viewers were spared the bruising ride, we do have the challenge of keeping up with a show that reinvents itself every three weeks. I'm a total sucker for the underdog, but that dog keeps changing. I've been rooting for Raro recently. But tonight I was all about Aitu, and they didn't let me down. I hope they can keep their momentum going next week when the show's theme will be Master and Commander.

Kidding.

Clearly Candice is just a loving person. She loves Billy. She loves Adam. But she really loves peanut butter. Like, loves peanut butter would make her declare, "I'm in love with everybody that I can see right now." I mean, it's only been 17 days. Maybe I just don't eat peanut butter that much, but I’m pretty sure that a two-week hiatus from it would not have me kissing on Flicka. And what’s up with Brad? I'm sorry, but peanut butter and potatoes just don't go together. I don't care how forward-thinking you are.

OK, how badly did you feel for Rebecca and her Tara Reid take on the reward challenge? "Pull your top down, baby!" I don't know who yelled that out, but I’m quite sure it wasn't Nate, who was just a-grinnin' at the whole scene. And Jeff, who's always yelling something useful during the challenges, couldn't come up with a quick, "Rebecca, you're flashing your tribemates," in between play-by-plays?

Kidnapped at the last tribal council, Nate was made by Aitu to sit out the reward challenge against his own tribe. But I liked his sideline coaching for Raro. And why did Brad pass on the swimming? Is he really, as Nate says, a "Nancy boy," and when was the last time you heard that phrase used in conversation?

Can we talk about Ozzy, or, as I call him, Aquaman? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he started to communicate telepathically with dolphins. This guy is amazing in the water. It's ridiculous.

Adam had the funniest line of the night in describing his tribe's tendency to lose. "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys." You can't argue with that. While we're talking about Adam, did he search for the idol at all while on Exile Island, or did he just cower in his lean-to during the storm?

Over at Aitu, this week's immunity-challenge losers, I have to wonder at the validity of an alliance that is already discussing its own pecking order before that is even an issue. Poor Jonathan thinks he's in tight — at least until the final four — while they're all just waiting to cut him loose.

Kudos again to the producers for some interesting challenges. Liked the stairway build and the zip line and the tile-smash key-drop. But does everything have to end in a puzzle?

As you can tell, this week's episode has left me with a bunch of random thoughts. Flicka getting voted out was neither here nor there. She never really managed to make the impact on the game that her roller-derby background had us anticipating. She seemed nice, but, as Jonathan said, maybe she would have fit in better with another group of people.

One last thing. I'm no member of PETA, but I'm not that thrilled with all the animal killing happening this season. Fish I can understand. But this whole thing with Ozzy going to pee and coming back with dinner is getting a little much. How many animals need to die so one of these guys can win a million dollars? It's just a game, people. Can we let the animals be?

Eighteen days in and the producers are still trying to reel in new viewers with this CliffNotes, catch-me-up episode. That's right, it's recap time on Survivor: Cook Islands. Rather than just stroll down memory lane, we regular viewers were also treated to 14 new and easily identifiable scenes — the most riveting of which was Adam and Candice's Day 2 adventure at sea that left them stranded and shivering on a sandbar and had them ultimately abandoning ship in a desperate effort to swim back to land. The next time this happens, it would be nice to see Parvati show a little more concern for her fellow tribe mates than for the unwrecked boat safely parked on a sandbar. At least now we have some basis for Candice's blowing kisses to Adam at last week's tribal council. You don't go through something like that without it changing you. Theirs is a bond none can break.

Pavarti is, I guess, this season's hot chick. She got her own montage and everything, but if I see that tattoo one more time....

Also starring in her own short was Stephannie, whose journey takes her from hymn-singing soloist to a fall-down drunk — an all too common tale.

In the sobering light of day, this very special episode delved deeper into the season's controversial twist only to reveal that pretty much everyone except Cao Boi hated it. He seemed to take the ethnic divisions to heart more than the rest, exhibiting an admirable, yet unreciprocated, devotion to his original Puka tribe.

And then there was the uncomfortable part of the show also known as Billy's final tribal council. Can we just agree to let this man's embarrassment end here and now? OK, maybe one last shot of Jeff's eyes' bugging out, but then I'm done. Honest.

What didn't I expect to see? Yul destroying all evidence of the idol. This one means business. What didn't I realize? No luxury items (or am I reading too much into Jonathan's lament for a toothbrush?) What did I realize? Nate talks a lot. What touched me? Cristina's tears. And what made me laugh? J.P.'s blindsided ouster complete with an Oscar-worthy sacrificial-lamb performance from Stephannie.

Now that we've been there and done that, I'm ready to get back to business. It is time to whittle down these tribes. It's time to merge. It's time to start worrying about who's going to be on the jury. In other words, it's time to play Survivor.

It's Week 6 of Cook Islands and there are still 14 castaways left! I understand the math behind it, but I still have to ask why there are so many people on the island. It's like the first six weeks never happened, so this double-elimination week was just what the doctor ordered, though it didn't take a genius to figure out that Cao Boi and Cristina would be sent packing.

Cao Boi has been the most interesting player this season and for that I'm sorry to see him leave, but at least he left on a high point. Voodoo dreams aside, he came up with a great plan to suss out the hidden immunity idol, one that showed the most strategizing I've seen yet this year. It is ironic that a man with such a spiritual connection to immunity idols would be so blind as to the truth of the matter, which is that neither Jonathan nor Candice had it. Then again, Cao Boi was still playing along ethnic lines as his comments about Americans and caucasians showed. In the end it was his allegiance to the former Puka members that killed his chances.

Poor Cristina. While clearly on borrowed time, it was hard to watch her beg for a second chance with her tribe. Especially since she gave her all at the challenge. Loved the down-and-dirty hand-to-hand combat. Who knew she and Candice were so strong? The best part of the challenge? Jeff's calling out, "No choking!" as Cristina was struggling against her opponents. Too bad she resorted to hair-pulling instead of showing us some of her cop moves. In the end, it was the physically weaker tribe (again) that won a challenge that was all about brute strength.

Everybody went to tribal council this week and while Aitu feasted on lamb shanks, Raro was made to watch. Unfortunately, the twist at tribal council was lame. Kidnapping a member from the losing tribe for a few days was pretty much like sending them to Exile Island — at this point, big deal. Who knew Aitu would choose Nate? Why not take Cristina, the obvious target, and mess with Raro's plans? Much more interesting are the subtle power struggles over at Aitu. That whole tribe is aligned with each other but in different combinations. As Sundra pointed out, Jonathan is shifty but he's not the only one. Everyone is looking a little crossways at everybody else. Good thing Nate brought his glasses.

You have to watch what you say on Survivor or it could cost you big. Just ask Stephannie, who watched her million-dollar dreams drift away on an imaginary plate of mashed potatoes. I feel bad for Stephannie because Nate, who, despite his declarations, is no friend to Stephannie, has been trying to get this woman off the island for the last two weeks. How do you take "I could go for some mashed potatoes and gravy" to mean, "Gee, I can't wait to get off this island"? I’m sorry that Stephannie was not motivated to fight to stay in the game. For that reason alone I'm OK with voting her out. Personally, I don’t understand contestants who go on this show and then give up. It makes me wonder if they even really wanted the million.

Like Cao Boi, I'm not sure if the cash prize motivates him or if he only jumped at this opportunity to have a captive audience. The man can talk forever, yet he cannot read body language or recognize when he's gone to far. Not only did he, Flicka and Ozzy crash Raro's island, but he bored them to death with his now famous stories and then asked for supplies. Talk about your textbook unwelcome visitor. Raro wasn't exactly happy to see them and Rebecca put it best, "It's the three that we can't stand." As entertaining a character as he is on a reality show, Cao Boi's charm doesn't seem to translate as well in person.

If it weren't for Jeff's charm, he'd be on my list tonight. Why don't you just tell everyone that the hidden idol has been found or better yet just point to Yul? Jeff is, most assuredly, an activist host and he has become a part of the game, but some of his leading questions tonight came dangerously close to crossing the line from neutral territory into the tampering zone. I'm as eager as the producers to have the hidden idol come into play, but they need to reign Probst in.

I will give the producers credit, however, for some original and interesting challenges this week. We've seen versions of the weight-bearing challenge before but I liked this season's pair aspect of it. Oh, and thank you Cao Boi for that homoerotic spin on Nate and Adam's strategy. The immunity challenge was really funny. I loved the stilts and the Jenga-like climb up the platform and watching both groups teeter on the deck. I was so hoping for a group tumble and my prayers were answered.

Unfortunately for Raro, they earned another appointment at tribal council where Jeff put forth some very direct questions. Cristina barely missed being the fourth member from the original Aitu tribe to be sent home. It would be in her interest to not lose anymore octopus. And since I've mentioned it, these people are messing with an awful lot of wildlife this season. I'm happy to see that most of it is being eaten, but last week's booby-bird encounter had me wondering about the endangered status of the animals on the Cook Islands.

Overall, this week was more exciting than last but I do have some questions: Why is it OK for the men of Raro to lie around but not for the women to do the same? What's the reasoning behind sending Jonathan back to Exile Island? Did Yul drop his weight first to appear less strong and therefore less threatening? And most importantly, what is it that happens at tribal council, that Nate needs to wear his glasses?

You know, there really may be something to this whole karma thing. It’s almost too delicious to see J.P. and Ozzy knocked down a peg. Ozzy, mastermind of the Billy ouster, has done his best to keep himself in the game ever since the merge. He has been running around in the challenges like nobody's business, diving, swimming, doing whatever it takes to keep his group from going to tribal council. Back at camp he's hauling in fish left and right and making sure everyone knows it. Don't worry, Poseidon, they noticed.

J.P., on the other hand, cluelessly set himself up for the fall. It's never a smart move in Survivor to let the tribe see you proudly doing nothing (wasn't that Billy's crime?). But to proudly do nothing and command the others from your perch? Uh-uh. Emperor J.P. surely wore no clothes. I'm so proud of the ladies (and Brad) for their sneak attack.

With J.P. voted out, the women of Raro have wrested the power from their big, strong men, but Parvati may soon have her membership card rescinded. Parvati, when the ladies say, "Let's work together," you don't respond with, "Uh, well, let me think about it." You say, "Yes," even if you have a secret alliance with the boys. Or, in this case, a boy. Frankly, I did not expect Nate to actually fall for Parvati's amateurish and off-putting flirting. Shows what I know. Nor did I expect him to turn on Stephannie so quickly. I am disappointed in Nate for that. Where did all that "Hiki hood love" go? And Stephannie, what were you thinking trying to light the fire? Listen to me. That is not your strength. Next time, don't practice your fire making during a fire-making immunity challenge. That's a no-no.

Speaking of, I was horrified watching Cao Boi knock that booby's nest out of the tree. OK, I exaggerate, but still, it was a bad move. I've been on the fence with Jonathan these past four weeks, but his concern for the baby booby scored some points with me. And it warmed my heart to see that Cao Boi regretted his actions. As to the logistics of the whole incident, do the trees on the Cook Islands have built-in steps? I have never seen people scamper up trees the way Cao Boi and Ozzy do.

Overall, Week 4 continued in this season's vein of predictable outcomes. Next week, let's hope they shake things up a bit.

PS. Am I the only one who heard the Pirates of the Caribbean theme music playing during the show?

Survivor aficionados know there's a certain lingo that goes along with the show. For some it's comforting, for others, mind-numbingly repetitive. Me? I like it. Jeff's catchphrases are a constant that I can rely on each week as the number of castaways dwindles. That said...

First things first: We couldn't move on from last week's show without finishing up Billy's love story. Back at camp, Aitu continued to dismiss the love, and the next day, after the tribes merged, Cecilia went directly to Candice to get the scoop. Needless to say, this love was one-sided. Again, I cannot wait for the reunion show.

With that cleared up, Jeff uttered those three little words that change the game every single time. Drop your buffs! That's right, segregation is over. Survivor put as much effort into contriving the makeup of these two new tribes as they did with the first four. Grab a tile from the bag, do a schoolyard pick, but only choose a person who has yet to be represented on your new team. Squeeze the egg. This three-part tribe-picking was more complicated than putting together a desk from Ikea. The upside is that the game now feels like it has truly started. The stunts are behind us and we can get down to business. Or as Brad says, "It's a game and you're in it to win it for yourself and first and foremost, cash."

I am happy to have the tried-and-true Survivor back, but did they have to dredge up an old immunity challenge? The sandbag chain-gang challenge has been done before, and I daresay it was more entertaining with Tom the fireman in for the long haul than with all the Cook Islands women dropping out minutes into the race. Raro, now consisting of Stephannie, Rebecca, Cristina, Jenny, Pavarti, Brad, J.P., Nate and Adam beat Aitu, which is now made up of Cecilia, Jessica, Sundra, Becky, Candice, Jonathan, Yul, Ozzy and Cao Boi. I'm as much in the dark as Aitu is about Candice being sent to Exile Island, but so far none of those choices has made much sense to me.

With the teams now being a "melting pot," the show is livelier, and personalities are peeking through. And of course the hard-core strategizing has begun. Jonathan, who if you close your eyes sounds exactly like Alan Alda, is all about getting into an alliance of five with "a couple of the Asians," Candice and Jessica. Jess isn't convinced she wants to hook up with that crew, and I don't blame her. Jon's a little pushy and lot talky. Meanwhile, Ozzy now finds himself without the numbers and consequently has a lot less to say at tribal. Bet he's reconsidering last week's power play about now.

At tribal, I wondered if Yul really would have shared the immunity idol if the tribe had spoken to Becky instead of Cecilia. I’m with Jessica on the whole dangerous-Becky thing. That girl is super-competitive. Remember her reaction to Yul's idol revelation? "First day or second day?" Um, what does it matter when Yul found the idol?

Little things: Wow, Nate caught an octopus! Pavarti needs a new strategy since her current one is uncomfortably embarrassing to watch.... Jeff and Stephannie, I like you both but please lose the straw hats. I haven't had a chance to mention it before, but I love this season's tribal-council area. Very cool.

So there you have it, we're back to two tribes, there is scheming and allying, and next week, let's hope there's also a reward challenge in the mix. Survivors ready? Go!

Hands down, this was the funniest tribal council ever on Survivor. It was like watching group therapy. Between Billy and "Mr. Bully's" fight, and Billy's declaration of love for Candace, I'm not sure what
I laughed at more. It was tears-in-my-eyes laughter. I'll make a declaration of my own: I love Jeff Probst. He is the best reality-show host out there, with Phil Keoghan of The Amazing Race a close second. While everyone else was laughing and/or rolling their eyes at Billy, Jeff managed to respectfully question Billy's love connection ? and he did so with a straight face. Almost.

I found it odd that Billy uttered the words "I love you" after the challenge, but I didn't think anything of it. Especially since I was looking for furtive glances and accidental touches between two other castaways. After a week of keenly watching CBS ads that heavily promoted a romance like no other in Survivor history, I was sure we were going to find out that Brad and Nate were a couple. I was so wrong. Time will tell if the love between Billy and Candace is real.

Love can be a fickle thing. Last week I thought for sure that Ozzy was going to be a fan favorite. I mean the way he scampered up that tree had to win him some fans. Unfortunately, Ozzy played the game like it was a Big Brother version by masterminding eviction plots and getting people to throw the challenges. It's clear, though, after having nearly gotten himself backdoored by Cristina, that Ozzy is no Dr. Will. It's just not cool to cannibalize one of your own. It bugged me that Ozzy took the time to draw a skull and crossbones on his vote. I just imagined everyone waiting and wondering why it was taking him so long to write five letters on his card.

Speaking of taking a long time, why is the Hiki tribe so slow? I do not understand it. Even with Aitu "taking a holiday" as Jeff put it, Hiki almost lost. Then they celebrated as if it were a victory! I know it's nice not to have to go to Tribal Council, but they needed to calm the hell down. Seriously.

If anyone has the right to celebrate this week, it's Yul, finder of the hidden immunity idol. Good for him! I hope that this season it actually comes into play. Oh, and Puka Rocks. That team is so good (-looking) that their only problem is their tendency to get headaches. Clearly they must not vote out the Cao Boi.

Jonathan almost got the wind knocked out of him by Adam who, for some mysterious reason, is against building a platform for sleeping. Platform? How about a shelter? As a tribe, Raro has some communication issues, but they pulled it together enough to tie for first at the challenge. I guess that's all that matters.

I've watched every season of Survivor, and I'll say two things about Cook Islands. I haven't seen so many rats around since Gervase snacked on them in Palau Tiga. Secondly, there's an awful lot of food available on this island. There are chickens running around -- not just the ones that got away from Raro. Plus, there is an abundance of fish. It just seems a little unusual. Remember the days when getting a bag of rice was a big deal? I almost long for that time, because right now these folks are playing the Club Med version of the game.

As for the social experiment? The tribes have very little interaction with each other, making it hard to draw conclusions about race relations. On their own, Raro fought amongst themselves; Puka didn't want to talk about it; Hiki was just glad they got fire; and Aitu sacrificed one of their own. It's not looking promising.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's been some talk about this season of Survivor. Something about its being controversial. Set in the South Pacific's Cook Islands, this season's castaways have been divided into four tribes based on ethnicity and race ? black, white, Asian and Latino. Some think this is an outrageous stunt, an obvious ploy to raise the show's dwindling ratings. However, host Jeff Probst has been vocal about classifying the show as a "social experiment." So with lab coat on, I sat down to watch this season, and the preliminary results have boiled down to this: Survivor: Cook Islands is the same old Survivor.

As a viewer who is part of a represented group, I immediately found myself rooting for "my tribe," whereas in the past I had to warm up to players over a few weeks. On the one hand, it's nice to be able to get right into the game, but on the other hand you realize you've been completely manipulated by the show. However, I'm still drawn to the most interesting players, and that crosses racial boundaries. In the end, I suspect that's how the show will play out for most viewers, but since they want us to, let's break it down.

The Tribes

The Aitu tribe, Latino: J.P., Billy, Ozzy, Cecilia and Cristina
Right off, Ozzy and Billy make the biggest impressions, Billy mostly for his bamboo-breaking technique and Ozzy for pointing out Billy's bamboo-breaking technique. I don't think Cristina actually spoke during the first three days on the island, which in Survivor editing can only mean she makes it to the final four. J.P. has a lot to say, but I don't remember any of it. Cecilia may be a player on this team.

The Hiki tribe, African-American: Rebecca, Sekou, Stephannie, Sundra, Nate
This tribe found its rhythm quickly, breaking off into two pairs of buddies, leaving Stephannie the odd woman out and immediately giving her the most powerful position in the group ? that of swing vote. Stephannie looks like a strong player. Nate, Sundra and Rebecca better watch it. And Sekou? Well, he's just out. Early leaders rarely make it to final tribal, and as Stephannie pointed out, if you're going to tout yourself as the man who makes fire, maybe you should learn to make a fire.

The Puka tribe, Asian: Cao Boi, Yul, Becky, Brad and Jenny
Cao Boi is a little out of place in his tribe. It's not his flowing salt-and-pepper locks, his tattoos or his old-world charm. It's that he tested the wind with the spit-on-the-finger trick. I've only seen that move on Bugs Bunny cartoons. Yul, Jenny and Becky are not even having any of Cao Boi's tricks like pulling the "bad wind" out of Brad's head. Say what you will, Cao Boi cured Brad's headache. You got to give him props for that.

The Raro tribe, Caucasian: Jessica, Jonathan, Candice, Parvati and Adam
First off, everyone is really young and hard-bodied on this tribe. OK, Jonathan's a little older, but he stole a chicken. We all saw him do it, and he got sent to Exile Island for his actions. Then Jessica, aka Flicka, inadvertently freed the chickens leaving Raro with no meat at all. Karma. I'm not sure what's up with this tribe. Did they build a shelter or just opt to huddle in a cuddle puddle? This could come back to haunt them later on. Like when it rains.

The Challenge/The Council
Jeff is really pushing the social-experiment thing. After the first Survivor challenge ? a three-part fire, boat, puzzle thing that Puka won and Hiki lost ? Jeff awkwardly pointed out that the Hiki men took charge of choosing who would be sent to Exile Island while the Hiki women watched in silence. Two comments: 1) Jeff, you're smoother than that, and 2) I hope all the amateur sociologists out there took note. Even though he was the obvious choice for banishment, Jonathan was completely surprised that he was exiled. I wish Jeff had pointed this out, too. With Jonathan gone, that was the last we saw of Aitu, Raro and Puka. Hiki went off to tribal council where, in a fairly predictable move, they voted Sekou off the island.

Stunts are well and good, but what makes this show work is the cast of characters the producers assemble. As always, we have the outspoken leader, the oddball outsider, the jock, the older person, etc. Black, white, Latino or Asian, let's remember one thing: They are all there to win the million dollars. There's nothing controversial about that.