As If!

OK folks, I know I've been MIA from blog land for quite some time now (thanks a lot, Britney), but I just had to share my latest fave from the Fug universe. Brilliant, ladies. Brilliant.

Posh, you're scaring me! Jackets need friends... they're called camisoles. And it's OK to smile — hell, the other Spices are having a good time!

Nevertheless, this lightened my day and made me realize that maybe those Dancing with the Stars outfits aren't all that bad. Right, Mel B.?

OK, lay it on me. Who's waiting for Sex and the City: The Movie to finally hit theaters so you can see if Carrie marries Big, Charlotte's still crazy, Miranda's still cynical and Samantha's still with Smith? Oh, come on, admit it.

At first I thought, "What? No! They'll ruin the whole idea of the show by making some movie out of it!" But as shooting began recently here in New York City, I warmed up to the idea of continued storylines and Big possibilities. Plus, I love me some Harry!

And on another note, we're sure to revisit Carrie's unique style and fashion choices. This won't be the first time we'll see her adorned with a giant flower and shoes that never seem to match on first glance.

I couldn't help but wonder... who's going to buy a ticket? And who prefers the final image of NYC's fantastic four to be their side-by-side strut we saw in the show's finale?

Wow. It's been ages since I've blogged, so I apologize. But I've been through quite a whirlwind over here! Nevertheless, I am here and totally hooked on summer's best sporting event: The U.S. Open.

Every August, my mom and I get caught up in the sweat and glory of insanely good tennis. From the Williams sisters and their bold fashion choices to Andy Roddick and his fierce backhand, there is nothing better than a filled Arthur Ashe stadium and the back and forth of focused athletes battling it out for that grand slam title.

Just last night, we watch Maria Sharapova cut her competition out of the running in less than an hour, while Justin Gimmelstob gracefully bowed out after Roddick topped his game — Gimmelstob playing his last singles Open match.

Anyone else into the Aces and Deuces that make this sport one of the greatest?

Do you think you know which Sex and the City gal you are? Which frazzled intern or McSexy doc on Grey's Anatomy you relate to? Are you Daniel from Ugly Betty or Donna from 90210?

Yeah, I thought I knew too. But when I started flipping through Noah Lusky's book Who's Your TV Alter Ego?, I was surprised to learn that I'm just like Marissa on The O.C. and I'm apparently like Cindy from The Brady Bunch. Who knew? Some of the character descriptions did hit the nail on the head, though — after my Lost quiz revealed I'm a Hurley, I agreed that like our lovable island friend, I am "gentle and considerate."

Anyway, check out the website tvalterego.com for sample quizzes and an opportunity to buy your own copy. And no, I wasn't bored at work trying to figure out which Entourage character I am (Vince... really?), but I did end up staying late at the office completely wrapped up in this book.

I happened to take a look at the fashion tragedies happening over on Fug before leaving for a long weekend, and I couldn't resist sharing this one. No, she's not a celebrity. No, she doesn't own a mirror. And no, she's not a mermaid who traded in her fins for legs.

Have a great weekend! I wish you all happy styling.

P.S. Seran wrap doesn't come in black, does it?

Well, slightly uncovered. I settled into my comfy couch last night anticipating a royal masterpiece — Matt Lauer's highly-publicized interview with Princes William and Harry, just before the 10-year anniversary of their mother's still-mysterious death. While the hour was filled with brotherly love, a few jokes and a perspective never given to American television before, it was also less than what I wanted it to be. I supposed I should have expected the commercials leading up to this Dateline interview to lead me on, but I was hopeful that I'd learn more about these siblings born into the spotlight than I did. And when it was over, I thought, "That's it?"

Still, there were moments that truly shed light on who they are — most of us will never even come close to speaking with them, but Mr. Lauer did open a few doors to their wrongly-depicted lifestyles.

Harry, for example, said he'd be living in Africa for both humanitarian and safari-driven reasons if he weren't a public figure. William expressed an interest in flying helicopters, possibly for The U.N. These tidbits were interesting to me. Other moments I enjoyed were Harry's description of his time with Diana as "amazing," and William's explanation of why they chose to host a concert in memory of their mother — so people could come and listen to some of her favorite musicians and walk out of there with the sense that it represented her or reminded them of who she was.

Overall, the interview still provided us with a real side of two people who constantly end up in the papers under exaggerated headlines or personas that don't even begin to unravel who they are as brothers, as men, as friends and as sons of a woman whose death still shakes the world to this day. But what I really took from their words last night, was that despite the tragedy, there's a lot to be said for Diana's life and what she did for others while she was here — and they remember all of that every single day.

And on that note, thinking of the personal and private aspect, it seems right that we only got a glimpse into their lives and not anymore than that.

OK, is this weird? I could watch the Food Network all day. I'm serious. I might have even spent a Sunday doing just that. Anyone else? (Ali, I know you're out there!) Now, I have no culinary experience aside from watching my grandmother whip up family-size entrees without measuring a thing or glancing at a cookbook. In fact, I'm pretty sure she could peel all the apples for her unbeatable pie blindfolded before I finish rolling out the dough. But despite my lack of entertaining or occasional cereal dinners (that's right, I admitted it), I crave the ability to perfect recipes, chop garlic super fast and pull biscuits out of the oven while viewers watch in admiration.

Among my favorites on the Food Network are Giada De Laurentiis and her simple approach to Italian cooking; Paula Deen for the mere amusement of her endearing accent and mounds of butter; Bobby Flay for his masterful grill skills (I'll never forget the lobster quesadillas he made one day); and last, but not least, Rachael Ray for her perky TV personality and 30-minute fixes that I've actually attempted myself. (Extra props to Rachael for her new morning talk show. Good luck at the Daytime Emmys tomorrow!)

Any shows out there that awaken your senses or simply make you wish you were on the other side of the TV?

As summer sets in and I feel the need to lighten my TV-viewing load, I find myself casually and occasionally watching shows that both boggle my mind with their pointlessness and intrigue me with the bizarre and neurotic behavior that comes along with their casts.

Aside from my weekly summer regulars like Entourage, Hidden Palms (can we say O.C. wannabe?), and The Starter Wife (which I don't quite love as much as I had hoped to), I feel like I've wasted years of my life getting caught up in the disaster that is Reunited: The Real World Las Vegas. Now, for any fans out there who have dedicated themselves to the alternate universe that is The Real World, you have to admit that this was a pretty genius idea on MTV's part. Bringing back this rowdy crew for another round of late-night shenanigans in The Palms Casino was sure to start fires and force uncomfortable exes to cohabitate. It's only the second week and Irulan is already crying in hysterics about having dinner with Alton. And Arissa… man, don't mess with her! I'm not sure what Trishelle has going on with that platinum 'do but I find myself diving back into this cast that first caught my eye five years ago. Sin City indeed.

Now, I won't go into the unmistakably crazy folks on Bridezillas again, because I think I unleashed enough energy on that topic the first time around. But I will comment on E!'s The Girls Next Door, where planning weddings aren't exactly a common activity (even though Holly is nudging Hef to start ordering the invitations). Talk about another universe. Forget The Real World and explain to me how these girls feel good about dressing their doggies up and planning Fourth of July parties — isn't there more to life? Plus, I get the heebie jeebies anytime one of them smooches Hef. Moving on….

A show that gives me a different skin-crawling feeling is Man vs. Wild. While I think this concept is very cool, and I love all things Discovery (Planet Earth changed my life!), Bear Grylls is insane. Not only does he put himself in situations where he could be killed, but he keeps doing it even after terrible things happen along the way. (OK, so that might be because he has a contract to do the show, but still.) He's eaten turtle blood, eggs straight from the nest, full toads, a snake roasted on a stick, zebra meat — I'm talking, dig-your-hands-in-the-carcass meat. He's climbed up onto an iceberg, stripped down to his birthday suit and done push ups in the snow to get his blood flowing. He's suffered 24 hours of sickness after sipping some bad water… in a thunderstorm. Bear, are you serious? I applaud you, but I also think you're out of your mind.

Other shows I briefly catch clips of are The Simple Life Goes to Camp (I only last about a minute before feeling bad for the campers), Criss Angel: Mindfreak and So You Think You Can Dance (or should I say, for some of the auditions, So You Think You're A Circus?).

As I enjoy summer's vacation from heavier shows like Lost and Heroes, I think I'm better off using this time to learn from TV — perhaps a few more cooking tips from the Food Network or animal facts from Bindi the Jungle Girl — rather than subjecting myself to the noise of Las Vegas or the useless redecorating in the Playboy Mansion.

What are you watching while you wait for Fall TV?

[Standing ovation] To all the persistent Jericho fans who overloaded CBS' mailbox with nuts, I applaud you. With the developing news about the show's return, we can only hope it sticks.

New Bern, you're goin' down.

Dear Nicole:

I am worried. What is the point of owning all those fabulous clothes (some of which I might not have chosen, but that's besides the point) if you can't look your best in them? Now, I know your weight has been a point of public scrutiny for some time now, but please do us all a favor and have a burger. No, you know what? Have a burrito. With all the toppings. While I love your random comments on The Simple Life (especially when you told your camp director he looked like Leo DiCaprio in the first episode), it's hard not to feel a little pain at the sight of your skeletal frame.

I know what you're going to say. Lindsay Lohan's back in rehab. Mischa Barton's in the hospital. Even your BFF Paris' news of a shorter sentence might merit more attention. Well, while all those stories continue casting celebrities in a bad light, I can't help but feel disappointed when I notice a collarbone before a cute hairstyle or an eye-catching dress.

I have faith you can do it. After all, you'll need your strength for all those crazy stunts you and Paris pull on TV.

With Lost's enveloping two-hour finale last night came the painful goodbye of Dominic Monaghan's Charlie. For me, this character was a big reason I watched our Oceanic survivors argue, forgive, explore and face danger week after week, so when the rock star pressed his palm against the glass window and cracked a small smile for Desmond as the surrounding water provided a silent farewell, I was a little choked up and realized my Lost experience will definitely change come next season. One of my favorite Charlie moments was the episode in which he drafted a list of his best moments, his "greatest hits," and as a nod to Monaghan's brilliant portrayal of a man who's gained quite a different perspective on life, I've come up with my own greatest hits — not of my life, but of moments from shows that were on the top of my playlist this past season.

Brothers & Sisters
When Tommy and Holly threw a party for the opening of their vineyard, Kitty accidentally popped a few painkillers (thinking they were aspirin) and became an obliterated, babbling fool in front of Kevin. By far, Calista Flockhart's finest reach to lay all of Kitty's messiness on the table.

Grey's Anatomy
After Meredith almost drowned and the entire surgical staff dropped what they were doing to spend hours trying to save her, Sandra Oh gave us an unforgettable Cristina-Meredith moment as she talked to her best friend, her "person," so emotionally that we saw the human side of her character — something I love seeing in between the often robotic, sarcastic and cold Cristina scenes.

Heroes
When Mohinder was trying to take Sylar's spinal fluid, the Bogeyman's escape completely entranced me. The hovering bullet in front of his face was my favorite part, and this is really when Sylar's strengths started combining into all-inclusive magic for me. An IV? An arm restraint? Forget it. Good try, Mohinder.

How I Met Your Mother
There are so many laugh-out-loud moments for me when I'm watching this hysterical half hour, but "The Slap Bet" as a whole was a great episode and hit overall for this show. I can't wait to see where those remaining slaps come out.

Lost
It's hard to choose the best moment from this season, so I'll settle for two. When Charlie tries to prevent Hurley from knowing the truth about Desmond's latest vision and tells him he's too big to come on the boat, I was reminded of why I adored Charlie so much when he ran up to Hugo and gave him a giant hug. "Just remember I love you." My other Lost moment was in last night's finale when Jack told Kate he loved her. It was simple, it was quiet, and I had been waiting for it all season.

Those were some of my favorite scenes from my favorite shows this season... My TV Greatest Hits. I'm sad to think that Charlie's list is gone now that Desmond took the dive to The Looking Glass, but Charlie's greatness will never be lost.

Who/what/which show would make your Hits List?

Huh? What is this? Will someone please ask Bai Ling who she thinks she is? (OK, so she landed a guest spot on Lost. I'm ignoring that for the moment.) Forget it, I'll do it. Bai, what's going on here? Did you steal that "shirt/coat" from The Matrix costume closet? And are we at the beach or preparing for snowy weather? I'm confused. Really, really, really confused. But maybe I'm just not fashionably aware or knowledgeable at all. Which is fine. I'm still not taking any tips from this outfit.

See?! Nothing good can come of killing off Gerald McRaney! Can we all take a moment of silence here? I am completely disappointed in today's announcement that Jericho will not return for another season. I know this show was a gamble. I know Mama Green was getting on some of our nerves. I know a small Kansas town may not appeal to the masses. But… come on!

I accepted the decision to end Gilmore Girls (although, not thrilled with Logan's exit). I welcomed the idea of a future finish line for Lost. I gladly shook off The O.C. when it left us last year. But I can't let this go — at least not this week. In fact, I'm taking out all my frustration on Angel's candy bin. (Is CBS going to pay my gym bill?)

If you're a Jericho fan, you've been watching Skeet Ulrich and Co. cope post-mushroom cloud. And after a rocky start, hopefully you'll agree with me when I say the writing and acting only got better as the season went on. We got answers slowly but surely, we had characters with real substance (Hello, Hawkins!), and we watched a panicked town survive week by week with unexpected additions, unfriendly neighbors and personal relationships torn and mended. OK, so maybe it's no Heroes. No one's walking through walls or slicing people's heads open with their magic finger. There's no smoke monster (although, that's my least favorite part of Lost). But I really thought CBS was onto something when Jericho was put on the map.

Skeet, if you're listening, I'll miss your leadership (and that hooded sweatshirt). Don't go disappearing now….

CBS, you've hurt me today. I will applaud you for giving us another season of How I Met Your Mother, but that will be brief. I will continue moping for as long as it takes.

That's right red-carpet lovers, Cameron Diaz has returned to her glowingly fabulous self and leaves her dark 'do behind with Justin Timberlake. I kid. Cam has told many a wonderer that the two are on good terms. But pish posh, breakup schmakup, the Shrek 3 star fights back in this adorable pink number and moves on with a refreshed look.

Word on the street, er, strip is that Diaz is now linked with illusionist Criss Angel (please see my previous post for all things magically Angel), as they dined and partied in Las Vegas this past week. (A special thanks to my dear friend, Allie, who alerted me just as she heard the buzz around this alleged couple just to make sure I was in tune to my favorite Mindfreak's status.) Now, that's a relationship that seems to fit. They're both a little weird in a laid-back-but-entertaining way, right? Nevertheless, the long-legged actress shines again. Just remain aware around your new man, Cam, he tends to pull a trick from time to time.

Hocus pocus, allakhazam, whatever. David Blaine, I'm not interested. This isn't a magician's show at a 7-year-old's birthday party. Tell Grandpa to quit pulling that quarter out from behind your ear. This is serious, people. This is Criss Angel, the one and only Mindfreak.

OK, so I have a crush. Not only does this illusionist have some pretty mind-boggling tricks up his sleeve, but watching him perform them is pretty magnetic (not to mention his ability to wear a leather jacket like a rocker). Yes, yes, on most days, I admit that I join a large portion of the world in watching McDreamy, McSteamy, McVet and otherwise with a great big grin across my face. But let's just say I'm branching out from the McStandard (Raven, are you proud?) and latching onto a few edgier picks that not only exude their own captivating vibe but have pretty cool lifestyles to go with it. (Miami Ink's Ami James is another example.)

But let's not get off track here. Criss Angel walks on water, people. He brings card tricks to a whole other level. He hung from the rafters above the audience on the Oprah Show this week (which prompted me to speak up even though I've been watching clips online for a while now) and escaped a straightjacket in record time — half the time in which Houdini did it. (Don't ask me to give you the play-by-play, because it involves popping his own shoulder from its socket, and that gives me the heebie-jeebies). I once watched him tear up a newspaper, hand it to several people, mix them up, and take all the pieces back then snap open the fully restored paper. To me, that's confusing. For some of you out there, it may seem boring, uninteresting even. After all, isn't there some kind of catch to his whole act? It can't be real, right? The thing is… I don't care. It is completely entertaining whether he has a masterful mind or not. He can pick out a lottery ticket for me any day, that's for sure. All he does is feel the energy around things without touching them. Still, for all the skeptics out there (including myself most of the time), I'm sure there's some little secret that would reveal a not-so-special Criss. Well, I don't want to be disappointed. I'll just continue watching clips of his crazy games until the new season of Mindfreak begins on June 5 (10 pm/ET, A&E). I suggest you check it out — maybe you can tell me how he does some of this loony stuff, or maybe you'll just enjoy the bizarre behavior as much as I do.