New Adventures of Old Christine

Tonight’s episode was focused on Richard’s 41st birthday. I have to say that whenever anything is focused on Richard, I get a teensy bit bored. He’s the least funny of all the characters. But he’s there because he creates funny situations, and the show wouldn’t be the same without him. I definitely have to thank Richard for bringing New Christine and Christine together because their face-offs, even if they are mostly because of Richard, are hilarious.

The hilarious drama occurred, of course, because of Christine’s neurotic need to mark her place in Richard’s life. She is the original Christine, the one who spent 10 years as Richard’s wife, making his birthdays a “national holiday.” She needs to take credit for him, and she has to mark her territory.

New Christine asked Christine what to get Richard for his birthday. Christine came up with the perfect birthday present idea, but Christine couldn’t let her take credit for it. She said she wanted credit for building Richard, for making him the “perfect” boyfriend.

Naturally, New Christine got upset when Christine told Richard that it wasn’t her idea to get him the gift, a gift that made him so happy and that made him call her “the perfect girlfriend.” It was the “perfect girlfriend” line that got Christine upset. She immediately announced that she had thought of that perfect gift. New Christine stared Christine down, forcing Christine to leave the scene. There was tension there, and it was a tension that Christine wasn’t going to immediately accept responsibility for, as witnessed in the exchange between her and Matthew.
Christine: “You wouldn’t do anything differently?”
Matthew: “Maybe the opposite of what you did.”
Christine: “The truth is never wrong.”
Matthew: “You lie about your age.”
Christine: “It’s not my fault New Christine tried to deceive her boyfriend and then turned it around on me.”

Christine explained to Matthew: “It’s like an artist creating a beautiful canvas, and when he’s finished he puts his signature right there on the corner. I want people to know that the boyfriend that Richard is today is because of me. That dim-witted chimp is my masterpiece.”

My favorite exchange was between New Christine and Christine when they were at the restaurant. The fact that they were using cake to describe themselves was delightful.

Christine: “I made my lemon Jell-O cake. I make it every year.”
New Christine: “This year I made a cake, too.”
Christine: “Another idea you stole from me.”
New Christine: “I didn’t know you invented the birthday cake, Christine, you must be older than I thought.”

The only thing that made me cringe was when Richard was fed cake from both New Christine and Christine and said, “all my women feed me cake.” That put me off a little bit, even if it made me laugh. I cringed and laughed at the same time.

I’m glad that New Christine finally asserted herself and got Christine to drop the New and just call her Christine. New Christine didn’t want to be just the “new girlfriend” anymore; she wanted recognition as being somebody in Richard’s life.

My two favorite moments were:
1) When Matthew ran off to the kitchen with Ritchie in his magician’s sack to find scissors.
2) When it was pointed out that Christine was sitting on a fork — after she said she was sensitive.

My favorite line was when Richard explained why he rented out the whole restaurant.
Richard: “Remember last year? The guy at the other table had a birthday, and he totally stole my thunder.”
Christine: “He was eight.”
Richard: “He was a jackass.”

I love Hamish Linklater and find him irresistibly adorable, so any time he’s on screen is a joy.

Tonight’s episode was particularly enjoyable for me (and fellow Matthew fans), because we got to see him outside of Christine’s world and in his own social environment. We also got to see Christine in Matthew’s social environment. The result was a fresh look at this quirky brother-sister relationship, and Christine’s epiphany that maybe she didn’t focus enough on her brother.

The episode started with Christine and Matthew at Red Lobster. Christine is working early hours at the gym, so her “clock” is off. Matthew admits he’s not hungry because he ate lunch earlier. When Christine questions him about it, he looks around and announces that it’s 4:30 in the afternoon, and he’s not sure they’re even open. (Helpful hint: eating at Red Lobster at 4:30 does, in fact, avoid the crowds and long waits, even if it makes you feel slightly aged.)

The punch line of the episode is set: Christine’s schedule is turning her into an old lady, and she needs to shake things up. After Christine purposely gets upset in front of the waitress because Matthew won’t be getting a “birthday cake” (his birthday was a month ago), Matthew comments: “It’s just like going out with Grandma, but without the bourbon and the stealing of the salt shakers.” At which point, Christine shamefully takes the salt shaker out of her purse and puts it back.

I loved when Christine was in bed with the curtains drawn and she heard the ice cream truck and started calling for Matthew — who informed her that it was still daytime. When Matthew tells her he’s going to a party, she begs to go. She says she has no life. Her life is getting up, going to work, going to Red Lobster, going to bed. One line in her begging was definitely something I’ve never heard before: “I’m eating three cups of butter a day.” That’s what I love about this show — the one-liners are just so fresh and unexpected. Take Christine’s response when Matthew finally says she can go to the party with him: “Do you think we’ll be out by nine? Because if we aren’t, I’m going to need to bring my calcium supplements.” Hilarious.

Once they get to the party, Christine realizes she’s overdressed. Matthew tells her she’s “over” a lot of things for this party, but he didn’t want to tell her. Christine definitely didn’t fit in. How painfully funny was it to watch her try to fit in? She started dancing (which was completely unlike Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ dancing days in Seinfeld), and Matthew warned her not to do the “booty-bop.”

She went up to one guy and started talking about An Inconvenient Truth without having seen the movie. The guy ended up being someone who had done research for the movie (which could only happen on a sitcom). You could feel the embarrassment radiate off of her as she slowly stepped away from the group. But it only got more embarrassing. Next, she went up to another crowd but they started talking in another language, and she decided Germans were bad.

All of her embarrassing moments climaxed when she tried to help Matthew by approaching his ex-girlfriend. She took on one of those young, flighty drawls and said: “Were you talking to Matthew? I get a little jealous because he’s my boyfriend and he’s hot.” Tori, Matthew’s ex, responded: “He’s your brother, Christine. I’ve met you before.” Poor Christine, only trying to make it better for Matthew, went on to explain why her brother was a good catch: During her divorce, he sat on her bed and read Self magazine to her, painted a face on his tummy and put on a tummy puppet show, and cried with her during Under the Tuscan Sun.

Christine wanted to make Matthew sound like a good man, but Tori thought he sounded more like a good woman. Honestly, I don’t know what was wrong with Tori. If Christine had told me those things, I would’ve been impressed. He’s sensitive, caring, whimsical and a really good brother. But Tori didn’t fit with Matthew, which made it funnier when he came up to her (after a hungry, exhausted Christine told him he should go up to Tori instead of running away, because he had “lobster” once before and she didn’t want to see him lose her again) and she said: “I got here late, I thought I’d miss you.” And he said, “I miss you, too. I think about you all the time.” He doesn’t have a lot of game as far as picking up girls goes, but that’s what I like most about his character.

I loved when Matthew came in to find Christine asleep under the coats. Her hand reached up from beneath the coats in a horror movie moment kind of way. Matthew told Christine that he’d gone for a walk with Tori but she hadn’t shown any interest in him until he’d said he was in med school, which only shows that she’s no good for him. On a side note, when will we get to see Matthew in his med-school environment? I can’t wait to see him in med-student mode.

While Matthew and Christine were off trying to create a new dynamic for their brother-sister relationship, Richard was trying to get Ritchie to take an interest in his work as a contractor. Unfortunately, the last time he tried to do that, Ritchie lost half a finger and was so traumatized he couldn’t bring himself to draw hand turkeys in class. Everything was going well until the end when Ritchie got another splinter, screamed, and said he couldn’t remember anything before the accident. Something tells me that Ritchie will probably still stick to his original career goal — managing a women’s gym.

OK, so I’m a huge fan of Christine getting with Ritchie’s teacher, Mr. Harris, and it has to happen soon. I know it can’t happen right away and I like how they’re dragging it out, but I’m very excited to see what happens when they actually get together. They’ve had a lot of those almost-moments, and you know those moments are building up to something.

There’s a lot of chemistry between them, which is well-played between Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Blair Underwood. They’re very good at showing their attraction to each other without giving us so much that we get tired of the two of them together.

Every time they’re together, I’m excited to see it and I want them to just put down their walls and kiss each other already. But, alas, there’s Ritchie. They have the whole parent-teacher thing. But I’d really love to see what would happen if Daniel Harris and Christine got together.

I’d love to see how the Mean Mommies would react. They’re obviously into him, too, and don't hide it at all. They were ridiculously gooey-eyed when they were coming out of the parent-teacher meeting (together, which was unusual for a parent-teacher conference, at least to me). Marley shouted into the classroom, “Next time, we’ll do it at my place.” And then Lindsay said: “Or mine! I have a pool!”

I wonder if Daniel Harris notices that all these mothers are into him, or if he just kind of lets it go. Maybe he knows how good-looking he is and likes the attention, or maybe he honestly doesn’t know how handsome he is. Either way, it will be satisfyingly hilarious to watch the reaction of the Mean Mommies when they finally realize that Daniel Harris is into Christine.

I found it hilarious that Richard wanted Mr. Harris’ attention just as much as Christine did. But I have to disagree with Richard’s desire to have Ritchie be a boy’s boy. I get that any father would want his son to run and not skip along, but Richard should just let Ritchie be who he is.

When Richard first suggested doing a sport, Ritchie mentioned gymnastics and Richard didn’t like that. What was wrong with Ritchie using his Frisbee to serve appetizers on, or knowing how to do cartwheels, or helping Mr. Harris grade papers during recess? I loved that Ritchie was so different. But it was so funny that Richard wanted his son to be a regular boy hanging out with boys. Richard put him in soccer and what happened? Ritchie ended up hanging out with all girls, which made Richard nervous. Until it was learned that Matthew discovered Ritchie and his three new girl friends kissing. Then, it was all OK.

And I got a kick out of Ritchie saying that he liked “having three wives.” Then, while Ritchie was going through all of this, there was the whole story line of Richard bowing in the presence of Mr. Harris — the ultimate man’s man, the guy that everyone wanted to be — and Richard was just a giddy little schoolgirl around him. I loved it all.

And I loved those almost-moments between Daniel and Christine. First, in the beginning when Christine and Richard were arguing in Daniel’s classroom about Ritchie joining the soccer team. Christine held onto Daniel’s hand and wouldn’t let go. Then, she admitted that she was sweaty and brushed Daniel’s hand against her rear end. I thought that was beautifully done. Then, at the soccer game when they were talking about being friends, but were unable to keep from flirting. Daniel said: “We’re such good friends, I could go away for a weekend with you.” Christine said: “I would shave my legs and bring my good underwear.” And Daniel said: “So would I.”

Then, at the end, when Daniel and Christine finally admitted that they were attracted to each other but couldn’t do anything about it. Christine said: “I can’t be your friend. I haven’t had a single friendly thought about you.” And Daniel said: “Yeah, and I guess I shouldn’t practice how to say good morning to my friends.” At which point, he said the sexiest good morning. He leaned in to her seductively and said good morning in a way that I have never heard before. I swear, I wouldn’t have had the strength that Christine had to keep upright and not faint over on the spot. That hug at the end- when Christine leaned into him and said she had to go lie down- took a lot from her, and it will be really rewarding someday when the two of them can finally hug and not walk away from each other.

And, finally, one of the funniest moments of the entire episode was when Matthew told the story of his childhood nickname, which he got during a game of flag football that his mother made him play: “When one of the kids pulled my flag, my shorts came off and the thing was, I wasn’t wearing any underwear. I just kept running and I got to the end zone and I didn’t hear people cheering, I heard them laughing. I hadn’t gone through puberty yet. So from that day on, they all called me mushroom.”

In tonight’s repeat of a first-season episode, we return to the arrival of Andy Richter’s Stan, nicknamed Sad Dad by the Mean Mommies. Stan was a nice enough guy, but the air of desperation he put off made me cringe. He was really very sad and just a little bit too eager. But he was also sweet, making her a mixed tape of her favorite band and complimenting her hair.

So he wasn’t the hottest man that Christine could’ve picked for her first sexual partner in three years. But he was attentive and willing, and that was all she needed. I thought it was hilarious that Ali directed her to the Whole Foods to pick up guys. And I might add, some of those guys in the Whole Foods were really good-looking.

Poor Christine, she couldn’t exactly pick up the handsome ones. The first guy she scared off by talking too much, then backing into a grocer putting away vegetables. The second guy she scared off by not saying anything, grinning like a madwoman and doing her body shake, which was apparently her way of being sexy. Then she met Stan, and the next scene showed them in bed together, smiling giddily.

But why, if Stan was only supposed to be a one night stand, would Christine give him her home number and her cell phone number?

I found it funny that he left messages like “Hey, baby” and explained everything that he was doing (eating spaghetti) as he was doing it. He really had no skills with the ladies. And then Christine found out that he was Sad Dad — the depressed father who moped around the school trying to get any woman’s attention after his wife left him for her personal trainer.

The best moment was when Marly and Lindsay pulled Christine aside as Stan approached, claiming that Sad Dad was coming. When Christine went to see who Sad Dad was, Stan picked her up and hugged her. Cut to one minute later, and he was still hugging her. Marly and Lindsay were in the background with their mouths dropped wide open, and it was just pure comedy.

My two favorite lines of the episode were:

When Matthew confessed to meeting someone in the grocery store: “We had a moment by the goat milk. She’s into me.”

And when Richard tried to give Christine a pep talk about her self-consciousness: “Sometimes I still scream out your name during sex.” For a moment, Christine believed him. But then she realized that his new girlfriend has her name.

But the best part of the whole episode was the very end when Christine tried to talk to Stan in his car. He started rolling up his window because he didn’t want to see her anymore. She was too fast for him. Christine yelled out: “You did me! You know it!” as the Mean Mommies stood nearby, looking disgusted. Lindsay said her “stomach hurt,” and they walked away like they were sick.

Tonight’s episode was an example of the time-honored battle between little cars and gas-guzzling SUVs. I experience the battle every day when I’m on the road. I have a little car, and I dislike oversized SUVs, especially the kind that take up more than of their fair share of the road. SUVs are so enormous and pompous, like they own the road, and little cars are supposed to bow off in their presence. SUVs are symbolic of the image-obsessed culture that Christine deals with when she encounters the Mean Mommies.

So I understand Christine’s anger when Marley’s car wasn’t even dented and hers was completely bent out of shape after she and Marley backed into each other. (BTW, I’m not sure I’ve seen such a complicated security process to get into a school parking lot, but maybe that’s what fancy schools have.)

Marley, of course, didn’t think it was her fault. But she told Christine that they would take care of their own repairs and not notify their insurance companies. Then Christine got a message from said company, stating that Marley wanted money for the damage. That is just like the Mean Mommies; they love to make Christine look and feel like a fool — whether she’s overslept and arrived at school in her nightie with a trunk full of recycling goods, or she doesn’t have a husband with whom to confer over driving accidents, or her car isn’t as big as theirs.

That’s what the Mean Mommies are great for, making Christine feel like she’s not perfect and put together but instead just a great mess compared to them. It’s real, the way that Christine feels tiny and unable to keep up with these girls who are blonde, perky, married and driving formidable vehicles that can’t get bent up. Marley’s car had nothing but a “safari light” damaged. I loved Christine’s response: “Yeah, you’re going to need those. It’s almost rhinoceros season.” A nice dig at the unnecessary add-ons given to SUVs to make them safari-ready without having a safari nearby.

I don’t think tonight’s episode revealed anything about the characters or the story lines. Nothing new happened, nothing progressed. It was just a chance to put Christine up against the Mean Mommies and see the laughs that can come from competing with people who think they have more than you.

Marley’s husband is apparently sleeping with the maid, so she’s not really happily married. I’d rather have the relationship that Christine has with ex-husband Richard, a relationship that allows them to hang out in an SUV and watch The Ring. (I think it was The Ring, because Christine asked why the girl was coming out of the television if she lived in the well.)

I think it was great when Lindsay came to Christine and admitted that Marley had hit her, and she had lied to get Marley out of trouble. My favorite line of the whole show: “Marley can’t check her blind spots 'cause she doesn’t have any slack left in her neck.” I loved that line so much. And the fact that it was Lindsay telling it to Christine made it so much better.

It was surprising to see Lindsay tattle on Marley, but I’m glad it happened. Someone needed to put Marley in her place. Christine got her justice when the security video showed Marley's being responsible for the accident, leading to her giving Christine $2,000 in cash. I wish I had $2,000 to carry around in my wallet just for the heck of it. I guess the moral of the story is that anything can be solved with a financial payment. I think the entire episode was just a great way of showing the way we live and the silliness that pits us against each other.

Tonight’s episode was a repeat of this season’s premiere, and it was good to revisit all the reasons why Richard and Christine should not be together.

Yes, it’s easier for them to hang out with Ritchie and be parents without carting Ritchie back and forth between homes. Yes, they’re comfortable together. Yes, Richard can build fancy laundry rooms. Yes, they can rent movies, eat chili and watch football together, but that doesn’t make a marriage work.

They’re missing that sweaty-palms kind of passion that Christine is suddenly feeling from the hunky new fourth-grade teacher Mr. Harris (otherwise known as the gorgeous Blair Underwood). Things would be easy if Richard and Christine just got back together and fell into the same routine they had been in before, but they don’t love each other passionately.

They love each more like friends, and they work better as friends. About their routine, Christine said: “I make a few lists, he runs a few errands, he falls asleep on the couch, there’s no sex.” Christine was more excited about the fancy new laundry room Richard was building for her than about reconciling with Richard.

Watching them try to make out was painfully awkward. You could see that they didn’t feel any passion and that they were just trying to make it work because they were both lonely and needy. Matthew said it best: “You’re keeping him around to make you feel less lonely. It’s either that or you’re exploiting his neediness by making him build you a new laundry room.”

I’m just thankful that they decided not to reconcile. I mean, seeing them try to rediscover a passion that was clearly lost long ago made me cringe. They tried making out in a truck, since Christine has the mysterious ability to get passionate in trucks, but even that didn’t work. They tried making out on the couch, but neither one was feeling anything. If you have to say something like “maybe I should try some boob action,” it’s probably not working. And I’m so glad that they realized it wasn’t working.

The arrival of the sexy Mr. Daniel Harris obviously showed Christine what she needed out of a relationship. She said, ”I want someone who makes me roll over desks and walk into doors.” Christine lusted for Mr. Harris, a tall, dark, handsome drink of water that could satisfy her thirst for passion. Richard couldn’t compete with Blair Underwood, but he was in love with New Christine, so everyone won when Christine told Richard it wouldn’t be able to work. Richard seemed to get mad at the end, yelling about how Christine was pulling him along, but he was just saying the lines because he thought anger equaled an explosion of passion.

Tonight’s episode was a tough lesson about reality, about the good that comes out of knowing when you’re not right with somebody. People are so eager to settle down because it’s comfortable, but sometimes you can’t do anything less than settle for passion.

Matthew's going to medical school was brought up again. I was wondering what had happened to that declaration. He had said he was going, but then nothing happened. On last night's episode, he registered for classes and was told he would soon get a “heart listener and one of those ear looker things.” It should shake things up to see him in school. We’ve primarily seen him around Christine and inside her world. Now, he can go out and make his own world, and it’ll open up possibilities for new stories that involve him. Maybe he’ll meet somebody. It’d be good to see him with a woman. He’s so charming, laid back and adorable. It’s time he got some romance.

Maybe Ally, the girl who works at the gym? They could be cute together. She’s funny. She may wear green pants with a purple shirt, but that just makes her interesting. She says to Barb: “I need February off. Personal reasons,” and then makes motions that indicate she’s getting breast enhancement surgery. I love how she interacts with Christine.
With Christine standing in front of her, she says, referring to Barb, “She’s honest. Way better than our old boss, don’t you think? I think she was a drinker.” I think it’d be great to see Ally interact more with Matthew. Maybe sparks could fly.

We got more of New Christine, who’s been absent from the past couple of episodes. She was her usual cheery, excited, perky, sex-loving self. Having New Christine and Richard go off on their own was an interesting setup. Even more interesting was the fact that Richard took New Christine to a cabin that he and Christine visited for their honeymoon and all of their anniversaries.

When they arrived, New Christine got excited about the “round bed,” because she liked new shapes. I loved that line. Then she went out to see the hot tub and said: “Is that an octagon?” Who would notice the shape of a hot tub? That’s what's so great about New Christine. She’s just a sweet person who gets excited about the small things. She’s so different from Christine.

Of course, Richard couldn’t get Christine out of his mind. She kept popping up to torment him. She was everywhere, because they had spent so much time there. She even cramped their quality time. One of my favorite moments of the episode was when Christine and Richard are lying in bed in the cabin.
New Christine: “I really love it here. This is the best vacation I’ve ever been on.”
Richard: “Please don’t lie to me.”
New Christine: “It would be better if we could have sex. Or, technically, if you could have sex.”

It was just so funny. New Christine tries so hard to be positive and warm, not at all like Christine. But even New Christine couldn’t get over the revelation that Richard had taken her to a place where he and Old Christine honeymooned. He kept it to himself, of course, until the worst possible moment.

New Christine removed her robe to reveal her nightie, and Richard freaked out: “That’s Old Christine’s old nightie.” New Christine then freaked out and jumped around screaming “Ew! Get it off me!” I was cracking up watching her wiggle and scream like she was covered in bugs or something.

When Richard tried to explain that he was just trying to save money, she had the best comeback: “Maybe you could’ve saved more money and slept with me at your ex-wife’s house.” It was so quick and witty. To which Richard replied: “I don’t think I could’ve performed.” I loved that they showed these two alone and away from everyone; but even alone and away, they’re haunted by Christine’s presence in their lives.

It was great to watch Barb and Christine butting heads at the gym. The fact that they’re partners now is an interesting change to their dynamic. Christine is so controlling, but now she has to let someone else come into her workplace and sit at her big desk.

Finally, I'll end on Barb, who always manages to crack me up. She had some great one-liners. My two favorites:
— “The only thing that would be cute on you right now is tire tracks.”
— “The music was so depressing, the stereo tried to jump out the window.”

Well, happy Thanksgiving to everyone. In a few days, we’ll be enjoying Turkey Day with our families and eating lots of good food. There’s no better way to celebrate a special family holiday than to watch Christine try to make her house the Fun House and win a parenting popularity contest that she’s concocted.

I’m not a parent myself, but I’ve had jobs where I’ve watched parents ignore their kids and let them run out of buildings in tears without a second glance. I’ve had to run after the kids and get them to stop crying. Whenever I had to do this, I thought to myself that I would never be that kind of distracted parent. Watching tonight’s episode was like seeing examples of what you don’t want to do as a parent, but somehow it ends up happening.

I appreciate this episode because it pokes fun at the behavior of parents, taking what they should and shouldn’t do and making it honest and funny.

Christine and Richard should not do Richie’s homework for him, but that’s what ends up happening in this episode, because Christine wants the best education possible for Ritchie and the Mean Mommies tell her that she should be considering Ritchie’s college education and future, all in the fourth grade, all based on some project that has them making California missions.

Christine shouldn’t try to be the most popular parent, but that’s what she does, and she does it honestly. She just blurts it out, she doesn’t hide it. You can tell how Ritchie’s enthusiasm about spending time with his father is making Christine feel bad. Ritchie likes spending time with his father outside of the Homework House, as Christine calls her place. He gets excited about spending time with his dad and runs out of the house eagerly. Christine takes it personally and wants Ritchie to like her. She tells Matthew that she just wants Ritchie to like her. I’ve never seen a parent on television admit that they just want their children to like them.

This show takes parenting to a new level, something I’m not used to seeing. Here are two divorced parents raising a kid in separate houses. Christine openly tells Richard that she wants to win at being a parent, and Richard openly describes his sexual relationship with another woman as a way of competing. It’s unusual but it works for them. It’s funny when anywhere else it would be weird.

I think I’ll end by ranking my three favorite moments, three examples of what this show does best. This show talks about relationships in the bedroom in a way that would make you blush, but it does so behind subtle humor.

My favorite moment was when Matthew was on hold with the computer tech people and he was listening to a song and he said, “God, I wish I had someone to make love to right now.” And Richard walks in. After a pause, Matthew says, “I hope that wasn’t my last wish.”

My second favorite moment was when Marley, one of the Mean Mommies, was in bed with her husband. She told him, “Come back to bed, we'll try it again.” Then Christine called, and Marley slapped his hand away, saying, “Now I’m on the phone.” Then when Christine hung up, Marley kept talking. She’d rather pretend to be on the phone than be in bed with her husband.

My third favorite moment was when Christine told Matthew about her first time, which she related to, of all things, his not “feeling ready” when he thought the computer tech people were finally ready for him, after his waiting so long. Christine said, “On prom night, I let Alan Rice plough me like an Iowa cornfield.” Later, she said, “He worked my boobs like he was making a pizza crust.”

I absolutely love the fact that Ritchie, Matthew, Christine and the cat all walked into glass doors in tonight’s episode. I also loved Barb’s comment: “What, were you all raised by birds?” I never thought walking into glass doors could be a genetic thing, but that’s what it seemed like.

I have to say that Christine kind of annoyed me. I can understand being strapped for cash, but making Richard cancel his vacation when she just bought a cat? I think Richard was right in taking back his check. Christine buys a cat and then tries to convince him that she’s stretched for money.

Richard has paid his share of the tuition for the last three months, so I can understand the frustration when Christine assumed he would offer up the check to help his son. Her version of their “divorce” agreement? “Whenever one of us needs something, he gives it to me.” It’s time they separated “teams.” Christine needs to rely less on Richard.

I loved the comment Christine made on her financial struggles: “I can barely cover my nut as it is.” I’ve never heard that expression before, but I’m definitely going to try to use it more.

And how hilarious was the video that Matthew made when he was younger? He was so goofy-looking as a kid and he emphatically talked to the videotape, to himself in the future: “Change starts with me. Do awesome. Get into med school. Probably Harvard. I’m going to travel around curing people while my band Power Grid isn’t touring. Say no to drugs.” The best part was Matthew taking the drink of milk somewhere in the middle of his emphatic speech to himself. Then Matthew’s reaction to his younger self: “Why didn’t I say no to drugs?” It did get him to want to go to med school, which meant that Christine had to “add a nanny to her nut.”

And who knew that New Christine was so adventurous in the bedroom? New Christine: “I feel like we can go a lot further if it’s just the two us.” Richard: “Really? I feel like I’ve covered everything. What’s left? Killing me?” It was really surprising to hear about that side of New Christine.

I’m glad that Barb told Christine she wanted to be partners with her. She wanted to be partners at the gym because she found it fulfilling to work at the gym. Barb: “I filled the tampon machine. I made a difference.” It’s hilarious that she found filling the tampon machine so fulfilling. And now Christine and Barb can “cover each other’s nuts.” It’s perfect

So, I have to say, I've missed seeing Blair Underwood on television. It's been too long! Who can forget his stint on Sex and the City? He’s just so handsome! I just love him. I really do approve of him as the new love interest for Christine. He’s charming, and he’s got such great appeal.

I love that Christine has a “crushie” on him. She acted like such an enamored girl whenever she was around him. It was great to see her lighten up. She was leaning against the door watching him and blushing and getting verbally confused by his presence. But who wouldn’t blush at the sight of Blair Underwood?

I like that Barb, Richard, Matthew and Christine all showed up to pick up Ritchie. They have such a great family, albeit a different kind of family. And of course, they left without him. But the important thing is, they all showed up.

And how embarrassing was it when Christine was talking to Mr. Harris, and he was mentioning the ice cream shop, and she thought he was asking her out? I wanted to run and hide for her.

I thought it was hilarious when Christine went to the ice cream shop, and Mr. Harris admitted that he was having problems because he’d told the manager that he was waiting for his playdate. The manager was giving him the evil eye because he was a single man in an ice cream shop around a bunch of kids waiting for a playdate.

But I think my favorite part of the whole episode was when Christine and Mr. Harris were stuck in the bathroom stall waiting for the Mean Mommy to leave (hilarious moment when the Mean Mommy was in a staring contest with her daughter because the daughter wanted her to apologize for stealing).

I love that Christine was hiding from them and pulled Mr. Harris into the stall. She was trying to tell Mr. Harris earlier that she's usually “self-possessed” around him, but then she goes and pulls him into the ladies’ room. Watching her run away, he says “She’s a lot of work.” The fact that he follows after her is a sign that he could follow her anywhere, even into odd places like the ladies’ room of an ice cream shop. She acts like her wacky self around him, and he can fall into step with it.

Also, I can't end without mentioning the kiss between Christine and Barb. It came out of nowhere. One minute, Mr. Harris is walking up, and the next, Christine is freaking out and doesn't know what to do. So what does she do? She kisses Barb. I think it may be one of those lasting television moments: Barb's expression, Christine wiping her mouth, and then Barb saying, "We don't need to talk about this." It was something I'll never forget.

And I can't wait to see more of Blair Underwood.

I liked that this episode, even though it was a repeat, showed us what Richard and Christine were like when they got married.

It was nice watching flashbacks from their wedding video and seeing them crack up at the vows. I would be cracking up too if I had to say, “Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.” Then Richard said, “This is silly, dude.” It was a perfect moment. But I found it funnier that Matthew wore a T-shirt tuxedo with a cape and couldn’t find himself in any of the family pictures. Matthew cracks me up every time he says something. I don’t know what it is. Hamish Linklater is just charming, and he’s always funny.

Like when they were watching the wedding video and he was trying to find himself in it and Christine said that he couldn’t be missed because there wasn’t another guest wearing a T-shirt tuxedo and a cape and he said, “How did I not get laid that year?” It was beautiful comedy.

I didn’t like the marriage counselor, either. She was annoying. She didn’t recognize Christine, but she was all over Richard when she saw him. I would be upset if my marriage counselor slept with my husband, too. Not really appropriate.

Christine did read too much into it, though, when she thought that her marriage ended because the therapist was trying to seduce her husband.

I really liked when Richard said, “Unlike our son, who signs up for things and quits almost immediately, I sign up for things and stay way too long. I’m still giving money to the Kerry campaign. I’m happy you killed our marriage when you did.” That was a nice moment.

Another nice moment was when Barb, the ever-wonderful and funny Wanda Sykes, admitted to Christine that she was the one who ended her marriage. While it was harsh, it was partially true and it was an honest moment. I love Wanda Sykes, by the way. She’s just hilarious.

My favorite Barb moment: When she purposely tried to make Richard nervous. Earlier, he had said he didn’t like coming to the gym because it was a woman’s gym and he didn’t like hearing conversations about cycles and flow. Then Barb came into Christine’s office while Richard was there and says, “Everyone who works out on Wednesday is on the same cycle and you’re out of maxi pads. It’s like a CSI crime scene out there.” Once Richard excused himself, Barb admitted that she loved doing that to him.

My second favorite Barb moment was when she was captured on the wedding video telling Richard, “Can I borrow 10 bucks? I didn’t realize there was going to be a cash bar. You’ve got some ugly groomsmen. They look like pallbearers. If I’m going to go home with one of them, I have to get my drunk on.” She’s just so funny. And she doesn’t mind that Christine calls her her “black friend.”

When she was telling Christine the truth about how Christine was responsible for ending her marriage, she said, “I’ve been your black friend for 25 years.” I just love Wanda Sykes.

The therapist, however, I didn’t like at all. For one, she slept with her clients. For another, she just seemed so fake. She also didn’t seem like a very good marriage counselor, either.

I did like this episode, even though it was an old one. It showed more of what Christine and Richard were like as a couple and what happened to end their marriage.

I especially liked the flashback at the end when they were watching the video and you see a guy wearing a cape and then Matthew saying, “There I am.” Even wearing a cape, he’s funny and adorable.

I don’t know what it is, but watching Andy Richter as a love interest kind of made me cringe. Maybe it’s because he’s known more to me as Conan O’Brien’s goofy sidekick or the evil guy in the failed Olsen-twin movie New York Minute. Maybe it’s because he’s just not droolworthy. I guess that’s the punch line, though.

Here’s this guy who’s not very attractive at all and whose nickname is "Sad Dad," and Christine can’t resist him. I honestly don’t get the attraction. Maybe Andy Richter’s humor is what’s most attractive about him, but his character of Stan is just weird. He’s not Japanese but is going through a Japanese phase. And the best part is that he seduced Christine by taking some mashed potato off her chest and licking it off his finger. Although he did have some good lines. My favorite: “You look hot in a hairnet.” Not something you hear every day.

I agree with Richard when he told Christine: “Christine, you have sunk to a new low. This isn’t just the bottom of the barrel. You’ve gone under the barrel. And dug a hole to Japan. And found the dirtiest futon. And traded underwear with the Iron Chef.” But she knew what she was doing. She was powerless to Andy Richter’s futon tricks.

Meanwhile, Matthew was having trouble with his new lover, Amy, who refused to leave. She was trying to make plans for Christmas and doing laundry and wearing Christine’s bathing suit, which New Christine admitted to having done but only after she and Richard were “dating for four or five months.” After only one night together, she was nesting and Matthew couldn’t get her out: “She’s planting tomatoes. She’s planning on staying for the harvest.”

My favorite moment was when Matthew and Christine were lying on the floor hiding from their companions. Stan was leaving a message and watching her from outside (“I love that picture above the fireplace”) and Amy was outside on the patio trying to get out of a couples’ game night. Christine said: “There’s something about lying on the floor hiding from our lovers that’s telling me we don’t have control over our lives.” They thought about running away, but Christine remembered she had a son. What adult decision did they come up with? Christine would break up with Amy for Matthew, and vice versa. Now that’s a great brother-sister relationship. And when Amy wasn’t getting it and was still trying to talk about plans for Christmas, Christine said she could keep her bathing suit.

I love that Matthew and Christine each broke up with each other’s lovers because they couldn’t do it themselves. And they each started out the same, saying how it was thoughtful for Christine to send Matthew and Matthew to send Christine to break up with their partners. But it was kind of disturbing when Stan took mashed potato from Matthew’s shirt and licked it and Matthew watched him with wide eyes and then said he had to go.

I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of Stan. But hopefully it’s the last we’ll see of Andy Richter in a Japanese robe.

What I liked about this episode is how it showed two couples faced with divorce and how different it ended up for each of them. Christine and Richard split up, but Barb and Pete ended up back together, although I wasn’t convinced about their reason for getting back together. I think it was mostly because they were used to each other and didn’t want to be alone. But maybe Barb was telling the truth when she said that they tried the separation out and it didn’t take.

Either way, it gave Christine a lot to think about. She was happy that her friend was getting a divorce because she would have a “divorce buddy” and she wouldn’t be the only divorced person around. Plus, she wouldn’t be alone as much. You could tell she liked having Barb as her houseguest. She kicked Matthew out immediately and banished him to Ritchie’s room. She tucked Barb in so tightly and then kissed her on the forehead. Which Barb didn’t like and responded by saying: “If you hadn’t immobilized me with these sheets, I would’ve slugged you right now.”

It was definitely an honest approach to show how happy Christine was to see her friend getting a divorce. But I felt sad for her. I want her to find somebody. Everyone else has somebody. She has Matthew and Ritchie, but she needs someone to spend her time with so she doesn’t have to say “I’ve got nowhere to go until American Idol starts in January.” That just seems sad. Yet funny.

We also found out from Barb that she had to pay Richard to go out on a second date with Christine. And only twenty dollars for a second date. I would at least expect fifty dollars. Richard was hilarious when he recounted their road to divorce: “We fell in love. Had a kid together. Tried S&M. Went to Sea World.” I love that they went to Sea World as a way of saving their marriage. And that they tried S&M because it was at the end of their marriage and Christine just wanted to hit Richard. You can still feel that Richard and Christine have chemistry.

Speaking of chemistry, Ritchie and Matthew have a lot of it. (By the way, funny moment when Christine kicked Matthew out the room with Ritchie and he said: “Is there an intruder? Do we need to go to the panic room?” Christine said: “It’s not a panic room. It’s a guest bathroom.” Matthew said: “It’s the only place I feel safe.”) I wouldn’t have been able to sleep in the room with Ritchie. He had the beating-heart sounds (I prefer the sound of ocean waves) and his blanket and he kept repeating what sounded like the word “easy.” Christine called it self-soothing, but what was he so anxious about?

Matthew was right when he said Ritchie’s sleeping "sounds" made it sound like he was sleeping inside a womb. He was also right to be creeped out. It wasn't very soothing, it was more creepy.

I don’t think I’ve seen a sitcom story line set in a church before. I’m trying to think back and remember if I’ve ever watched a television show that was situated almost entirely in a church, and I can’t recall anything. Which is why I really enjoyed this episode. It felt new and different.

Christine went back to church after staying away from it for years. She was only there in the first place because her parents dropped her off on their way to Indian bingo (what is Indian bingo, by the way?). She was 12 and wanted meaning. Instead, when she went to get her confirmation, they forgot to call her name and she took it as a sign from God.

Destroyed, she refused to go back. But then her son showed interest in going to church, and she took him. Matthew said to just take him because maybe he would lose interest in it, like when Ritchie was obsessed with fajitas and they took him to get fajitas and the sizzling plate scared him and he ran off.

I loved that she did take Ritchie even though she didn’t want to go, and I loved that she took Matthew with her. She even sent Matthew along with Ritchie to Sunday school, where we learned that Matthew was an understudy for Godspell and had every line memorized but never got to perform. He performed for the Sunday-school kids with a childlike grin on his face, and I think I would’ve enjoyed church more as a kid if there had been a goofy guy playing on the piano and singing songs from musicals.

I never had a monkey puppet in church, either, which could’ve made the time pass quicker. Poor Christine was just trying to fit in with the churchgoers. But she started off by kissing the reverend’s hand and calling him Your Holiness.

When the reverend said that she was kissing his wedding ring, she said, “Oh right, you’re married to God. Or Jesus.” And he said: “Actually, it’s Joyce.” And Christine said: “She’s great, but she’s no Jesus.” You could tell it was already getting off to a shaky start.

She was trying so hard to fit in, too, but it wasn’t working. She dropped the Bible and everyone looked at her and she kissed it. She couldn’t figure out what everyone was singing and then she started singing and everyone had stopped. The reverend asked for silence and her cell phone went off.

Then he asked her to the front to sing the closing hymn and she was so proud. Called to the front — where she saw the sandwich shop that she had been obsessing about across the street, started backing away and then fled.

I loved this episode because I’ve felt what she did. All she wanted was to be welcomed and to feel like she fit in, but everything was hard for her. Finally, she found her peace, but it was a sandwich, not God. I think it ended perfectly. It was honest.

The episode started with Christine trying to push Jeff away because he was the father of her ex-husband's girlfriend. Instead of saying yes to life like she promised, she bought a giant calendar and tried to organize all the little scraps of paper that she wrote notes on. (I use the notes-on-little-scraps-of-paper method, too. Note to self: One way to deal with personal crises is to buy a giant calendar board.)

OK, so I didn't really like Scott Bakula’s Jeff. (I remember him from Murphy Brown and I liked him then, but he was kind of creepy here.) I didn't like that he kept calling and leaving messages about why she wasn't calling him back. And was it me, or was it kind of creepy the way he called her from her doorstep, knocked and told her to answer it because it was him? Some would call it endearing; I thought it was kind of creepy. More like a stalker than a potential boyfriend. Especially since he had long hair, and long hair on men makes me nervous.

And he was supposed to be New Christine’s father and a grandfather? I didn't buy it. He and New Christine didn't look like they were father and daughter, but the plot twist made for some good jokes.

Like when they went to Grandparents' Day at Ritchie's school, Jeff said to Christine: "If you’d rather hang out with another grandpa, I'll understand."

Richard thought of the great idea that if he married New Christine and Jeff married Christine, Christine would be his mother-in-law. I laughed at that. Then felt weird laughing at the idea of incest, but it was funny incest. Christine hit the mark when she said, "Oh god, I'd be Ritchie’s grandmother." Which obviously she was blowing out of proportion because she was freaking out. I don't really think her son would call her "grandma."

I liked how she tried to map out her family tree and wanted to name the imaginary child that she would have with Jeff. I liked Matthew's choice of Pockets for a name. I think I'll name my first born Pockets.

My favorite character is Matthew, played by the charming Hamish Linklater. I've never seen him in anything else before; still, I can't help but like him. He's always very enjoyable. He makes me laugh almost every time he opens his mouth, and he's boyishly cute. I think I'll end with my favorite Matthew moments:

First: When Jeff came to the door and was wondering why Christine wasn't returning his calls, Matthew said, "Ever since Witch Detective took off, we hardly see her anymore."

Second: When he was on the phone with his mom and he was telling her he had to get back to the "sabbatical room."

Third: When Ritchie needed a grandparent for Grandparents' Day and Matthew said that he didn't like being a "9-year-old boy's special friend."