Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Well, it’s late, so I’ll just come right out and say it: For a finale, this was a big disappointment. While last week’s trailer made this ep look like a killer-hunting-cops thriller, it turned out to be a standard-issue case with a side of sentimentality.

To its credit, this episode remained interesting throughout, probably because of the unusual decision to follow two separate cases. But the problem, at least for me, was that we’ve been so well-trained by Law & Order to try to put the pieces together that I kept searching for a nonexistent connection between the cases. Definitely a missed opportunity for a nice twist and a satisfying resolution.

Of the two story lines, I preferred Logan’s, mainly because it was so personal and character-driven. This was the first chance we’ve really had to connect with the Noth since he joined CI, and I was so impressed with his performance, which relied on genuine emotion and subtlety rather than sarcastic quips. I wish they had dropped the crank-crazed killer and just made this an all-Logan episode. (Though I certainly could have done without his lady friend’s ghostly appearance in the bar window — what was that, “A CI Carol”?)

But from Eames' swift appearance and disappearance to the killer’s barely explained motives and lack of any real menace, what we ended up with was just an interesting mess.

I guess Wheeler’s Far East vacation was the writers’ rather odd way of leaving the door open for a Nicholson departure, but I think I speak for most CI fans when I say, “Whatever.”

Sorry to end on a sour note (if only the superb “Endgame” had been the finale), but that’ll do it for my coverage of Criminal Intent’s sixth season. Thanks for sticking with me throughout a rocky year that contained some real failures (“Rocket Man,” “Bombshell”), but enough true gems (“Weeping Willow,” “The War at Home”) to make the trip worthwhile. Hopefully, we’ll talk again next fall when the show makes its transition to USA with (fingers crossed) Vinnie D. still at the helm.

For more than 100 clips of Law & Order: Criminal Intent episodes, visit TV Guide.com's new Online Video Guide.

Wow. Hands down, this was the best episode of the season, and it certainly ranks among the top Criminal Intent outings to date. The craftsmanship was just far more superior to what most crime dramas offer today — particularly in the way Killer Scheider’s death-row countdown dovetailed with the deathwatch over Goren’s cancer-stricken mother.

I loved the whole format of this episode, the way we worked backwards to slowly unearth decades of brutal crimes and long-buried bodies. And it was made all the more disturbing by Roy Scheider’s chilling portrayal of a serial killer delighting in his murderous reminiscences, lovingly flipping through his scrapbooks of victims like they were cherished family albums.

Like Goren, I knew it was all leading somewhere (thanks in part to those overly revealing previews last week), but I never would have guessed the trail was leading back to his own mother — and the possibility that the detective’s father was that very same killer, a man known to Goren’s deadbeat brother as “Uncle Mark.” So it was cathartic to see the rage and frustration building in Goren throughout this season finally explode as he leapt at Scheider and nearly strangled him to death (with no intervention from those stoic guards).

Though we’ll get to see Eames again next week, we’ll leave Goren a broken man, and even if D’Onofrio does return next year, I suspect we’ll see a different Robert Goren. That final shot, with the detective sitting alone in a darkened hospital room was just so heartbreaking and so completely bleak, it was the perfect coda — and possibly, farewell.

NBC should have taken a good, hard look at this episode before shuffling CI off to cable: A series capable of this kind of work deserves better.

Next week:: It’s season finale time for our beloved Criminal Intent, and the last first-run NBC episode for the foreseeable future. Though I would have preferred to see this incredible Goren/Eames episode close the season out, next week looks to be an action-packed finish light years beyond the recent Logan/Wheeler outings. I’ll take it.

Watch online:: Can’t wait for next week’s season finale? For more than 100 clips of Law & Order: Criminal Intent episodes, visit TV Guide’s new Online Video Guide.

Well, you devoted Criminal Intent viewers and blog readers have probably already heard about this, but in case you haven't, here's the TV Guide news story on the show being renewed for another season — on the USA network.

Personally, I'm not so sure about the network change. On the one hand, I'm worried they won't be able to retain D'Onofrio with the planned budget cuts (regardless of what NBC says), and the show might not look quite as good.

On the other hand, CI may actually improve in the story department. Aiming the show at longtime fans rather than trying to attract first-timers could mean we'll see less of the sensationalized, ripped-from-the-Anna-Nicole-headlines garbage that's cropped up too frequently this season. And less money probably means fewer guest stars and more focus on the detectives, which would be just fine with me. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Remember, there’s a new Goren/Eames episode tonight at 10, and it looks like a good one.

Well, this one was pretty much what I expected — some really bad Anna Nicole Smith impersonation (not that there’s really a good Anna Nicole impersonation) and a few murder suspects in the form of “fictionalized” versions of the late Playmate’s various hangers-on. And, of course, a little limoncello for taste.

Having seen all of “Bombshell,” I feel exactly the same way I did seeing the clips last week: There was just no reason this episode needed to be made. I don’t think Criminal Intent viewers are big tabloid-news followers (i.e., they probably don’t care who the father of Anna Nicole’s baby was) — and if any of you actually are, then this was just a rehash of yesterday's news. Basically, a no-win proposition for all concerned.

So how in the name of all that is criminal and intent did they manage to attract not one but two decent guest stars to this mess? OK, three, if you count Kristy Swanson, but she was on Skating with Celebrities, so, you know.... But why would alterna-comedian David Cross risk tarnishing his indie cred for this? Why would the man who directed The Last Picture Show take time out of his filmmaking schedule to play Hugh Hefner?

Needless to say, I’ve got pretty much nothing good to say about “Bombshell.” Oh, wait, one thing: the only decent line of the night went to Eric Bogosian of all people, who wondered at all the TV coverage the death of “Anna Nicole” was receiving: “Am I missing something? When did this woman become an icon? When did this show become an E! True Hollywood Story?” (OK, that last part was mine, but you know he was thinking it.)

Well, why don’t we all just move on and forget this ever happened....

Next week:: I’ve never been the biggest Roy Scheider fan (Jaws notwithstanding), but that scene with Goren going all Stabler on him has me dying to see next week’s episode. And make sure to reset your DVRs, TIVOs or VCRs for the show’s move to Monday nights, because I know none of you will want to miss this episode with its — can you believe it? — original story line!

Can’t wait for next week’s episode? For more than 100 clips of Law & Order: Criminal Intent episodes, visit TV Guide’s new Online Video Guide.

Well, what to say about this episode? It was... sort of interesting. At times. As you faithful readers know, this ripped-from-the-headlines stuff is a pet peeve of mine, and definitely not why I watch Criminal Intent. I’d prefer the writers get off their butts and actually come up with some original crimes for the detectives to solve. Leave the “news-inspired” stories to the L&O mother ship and all of those lame CSI spin-offs.

That said, you couldn’t ask for crazier source material than the Lisa Nowak astronaut-murder plot, so this episode was guaranteed to be at least mildly entertaining. And between all of the bed-hopping, adult-diaper-wearing, deep-sea-diving, steroid-cream-rubbing antics, it certainly wasn’t boring. But seriously, as one of the detectives pointed out, don’t astronauts go through some kind of rigorous psychological testing before they can enter the NASA program? Do the people piloting our taxpayer-sponsored, multi-million-dollar shuttles really act like a bunch of horny, backstabbing high schoolers? It’s a scary thought.

And what was with all the women in this episode being more than just a little off — literally killing each other just so they could claim astronaut Jimmy Cooper as their own? Maybe it was just me, but I had a hard time buying Tate Donovan, who was last seen sailing off into The O.C. sunset on a yacht, as a shuttle commander. Yeah, he was likable, but there was just no authority there.

All of that wackiness aside, I’d say my favorite part of this episode was actually the running bit about Goren and Capt. Danny both being “type-A, angry, obsessive personalities.” I thought it was cute (something that can very seldom be said about any Law & Order) how, once they were out of the captain’s office, a clearly concerned Goren asked Eames, “Do you think I’m angry?” Her knowing, “I’m-not-saying-anything” smile was more sitcom spouse than police partner, but that’s just what made it so amusing. I know watching those two interact is the real heart of the show for many of us, and the reason I’m still holding out hope that CI — and particularly the ever-exhausted D’Onofrio — will be back next year.

Next week: Just what we’ve all been waiting for, ripped from the Us Weekly headlines it’s... the Anna Nicole Smith case! Because our appetite for news about the drug-addled former Playmate’s many baby daddies couldn’t possibly have been sated by the coverage on E!News, Access Hollywood, Fox News, Entertainment Tonight, MSNBC.... Criminal Intent, I roll my eyes in your general direction.

This was a somewhat controversial episode — at least in the Criminal Intent community — but I, for one, was a big fan. Taking inspiration from a real-life situation and coming up with an original story to build it around, this is one the writers got right. And the acting (I’m looking at you, Wallace Shawn of Princess Bride fame) wasn’t half bad, either.

Next week: Well, we’re finally getting another new episode, but I can’t say I’m all that excited. Firmly back in ripped-from-the-headlines territory, we get the CI writers’ take on the case of astronaut Lisa Nowak. Granted, that was a bizarre and interesting story, but does it really need to be repurposed just so fictional detectives can take on the investigation? On the plus side, this is a Goren-Eames episode, so it could turn out to be more interesting than its lame title, “Rocket Man,” would suggest. (What, was “Space Oddity” taken?)

As I said in last week’s abbreviated blog, this is probably the best episode so far this season. Aside from all of the insights into Det. Goren, there’s also a solid mystery here dealing with soldiers’ behavior on the front lines in Iraq, and how what happens over there stays with them long after they’re back home here. Oh, and there’s also an appearance from former Nanny Fran Drescher. What more do you need?

Next week: yet another repeat. But unlike some viewers, I found this episode (“Weeping Willow”) to be one of the season’s most compelling. In another of-the-moment mystery, a video blogger and her boyfriend are kidnapped under highly suspicious circumstances, and nothing is quite what it seems... or is it? Plenty of twists and turns here, and a compelling turn from former Buffy-ette Michelle Trachtenberg makes this one another winner.

This episode wasn’t one of the season’s strongest the first time around, and it probably won’t get any better tonight. “Country Crossover” “had it all”: Shallow characters you couldn’t care less about, confusing (or confused) motives, and a lot of walking showbiz clichés. The one highlight was this classic Logan one-liner: “Cocaine in a recording studio. I’m shocked. Shocked.”

Next week:: It’s another repeat, but a good one this time. “The War At Home” was one of the best episodes this season, and possibly one of the series’ finest to date. A rare opportunity to peak behind our beloved Det. Goren’s crazy curtain, this is a must-watch if you didn’t catch the original airing.

After last week’s lackluster episode, this one totally pulled me back into Criminal Intent. While the previews made it look like we were in for a killer-stalking-deaf-women thriller, what we actually got was no gimmick of the week, but rather a poignant and fairly in-depth (at least from a hearing person’s perspective) look at the deaf community.

Back when cochlear implants first became available, I heard a bit about the debate over whether deafness was something to be “fixed,” but didn’t truly understand why it was such a big issue. From my limited understanding, if you were deaf, you'd want to gain/regain hearing if it was medically possible.

However, this episode brought the conflict to life in the way only a good drama can and — in typical Law & Order fashion — gave both sides nearly equal time, and provided some food for thought. Though, in the end, it did make the “pro-deafness” advocates seem just a little loony (what with the hand-shooting and the larynx-crushing).

There were solid performances throughout this episode, but the two standouts for me were the police interpreter (whose name escapes me) and the deaf actress (Alexandria Wailes), both of whom conveyed the distress that comes from being caught between two worlds and trying to function in both.

This season has been hit-and-miss, but the writers really nailed it this time: They completely sidestepped any of the gimmick traps and produced one of the most thoughtful — and educational — CI’s to date.

I do have one lingering question, though: Was Goren holding out on how much sign language he knew? The way he suddenly let out a flurry of signals — and seemed to be reading the killer’s — in the final interrogation scene indicated he knew a whole lot more sign language than he previously let on. Kind of weird — which is kind of typical for Det. Goren.

Next Week: Two new episodes — only one for each pair of detectives — and then it’s already time for a return to Repeatsville. And this trip, “Country Crossover,” wasn’t really one worth taking in the first place. Unless you’re badly in need of a Noth fix, this rerun is must-skip TV.

Here’s the thing about giving your detectives more backstories: They can’t come at the expense of interesting cases, which are always the driving force behind every Law & Order incarnation. But that’s exactly what’s been happening on Criminal Intent lately. Surrounding nearly every emotional glimpse into Det. Bobby’s troubled family life, there has been a by-the-numbers case that wouldn’t have stood so well on its own, but was buoyed by the “behind-the-scenes” drama.

And tonight’s episode was the best (or worst) example of this problematic duality I've seen yet. On the one hand, we had a whole bunch of clichés: another semi-rapper-related killing, more spoiled rich kids turned criminals, and such a convoluted web of motives and machinations, it was hard to keep all the “players” straight, let alone care. And that rapper’s name was Apocalypto? Seriously? Of course, it’s a well-known fact that nothing gets you more street cred than naming yourself after a Mel Gibson flick. Though, come to think of it, Braveheart, Mad Max and even Lethal Weapon wouldn’t make terrible rap monikers. Bird on a Wire, not so much....

Anyway, getting back to the other hand, we had Wheeler’s interesting backstory involving her not-so-dear and possibly departed father, a semi-crooked lawyer mixed up with a whole lot of the criminal element. While this all could have been fleshed out a little more (and possibly will be in the future), it did give Julianne Nicholson some dramatic opportunities, which she seized on in an appropriately Wheeler fashion.

Seeing the usually steely detective’s face fall and tears well up in her eyes as that wine merchant talked about all the ways Mr. Wheeler had been there for him growing up was truly painful watch. And that closing scene, which featured a graceful camera pullback revealing a field of freshly reopened mob graves — with old bones spread out on tables — was haunting, both in its imagery and its possible implications for Wheeler.

So “Players” was a mixed bag, to say the least. This exchange pretty much sums up my feelings about tonight’s episode. My wife, a very occasional Law & Order watcher, asked me, “How was the show?” My response: “Eh. Next week looks good.”

Speaking of... Next Week: A killer targeting deaf women should make for an interesting case. This idea has been done before on the big screen — anyone remember Marlee Matlin’s Hear No Evil? Anyone? — and probably on the small screen, too. But I’ll take a somewhat-gimmicky, straight-ahead thriller over a convoluted mishmash any day of the week. Bring on the G&E.

Tuesday night's repeat, “Bedfellows,” is a solid, though somewhat derivative, Goren/Eames episode worth catching if you missed it the first time around. For my original post about it, click here.

Next Week: I haven’t seen any commercials for next week’s episode, but here’s the summary from TV Guide’s listings: “A judge’s son is found shot to death following a rapper’s trial. Meanwhile, Wheeler investigates her estranged father’s alleged illegal activities.”

Q: Just how many storylines involving rappers are the CI writers required to pen per season, anyway? A: Way too many.

But I do like the second part of that description. We’ve gotten almost nothing thus far on Wheeler’s background, save for a couple of passing references. So giving Detective Pan her own storyline might give us a reason to care about this character, and let Julianne
Nicholson show she can do more than act as a foil for The Noth’s rapier wit. We shall see.

This was definitely a highlight of the season, but one that required you to pay very close attention. All the Law & Orders, of course, are known for their twisty-turny plots, but this episode had so many balls in the air, it was tough to keep an eye on each of them.

Interesting? Absolutely. But simply a lot of international intrigue and espionage to cram into one hour of TV, minus commercial breaks. If they ever made another Law & Order movie, this story might have been a good fit, but it was all a little much for 40-odd minutes of TV.

That said, it kept me guessing as to who was behind what, what their agendas were, who the real targets were — even who the good guys and bad guys were ('cause it’s hardly ever that simple, is it?).

With so much happening on a global scale — from Palestinian terrorists to Israeli nationalists to (fake) ex-KGB agents — it was a good idea to give Logan a personal connection to Radioactive Man. Their history provided a nice entry point into a complex story, and kept it anchored in the Criminal Intent universe. Plus, watching RM rapidly decline over the course of an hour was appropriately difficult (and a little disgusting) to watch, even if he wasn’t the most sympathetic murder victim. I mean, can we have just one episode where a murder witness, perpetrator or victim isn’t cheating on his/her wife/husband? Is the adultery rate really that high?

Also of note: We finally got some real insight into Captain Danny — those scenes with his “Israeli connection” featured some real acting from Bogosian, and gave the character a depth that was decidedly lacking before — as did his tense and passionate exchange with the semi-racist Logan about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Once again, those two seemed just on the verge of coming to blows before Wheeler intervened, but at least this time it was fueled by more than ego and testosterone.

So overall, a good episode — sidestepping the usual formula and breaking up the procedural monotony with a more cinematic, less single-focused approach worked quite well for me. But next week, I’ll be ready for a simple open-and-shut case.

Next Week: It’s back to repeats again, with a short trip down memory lane that flashes all the way back to the first episode of Season 6. Of course, I missed this one the first time around, so it will be “new to me” — whatever happened to that NBC slogan, anyway? Didn’t catch on like that whole “pre-owned” thing, did it? Hmmm.

I was a little worried that Criminal Intent would get too political with this reality-based preacher-murder case, but I should have known better. While some series function as tools designed to shove their creators’ political beliefs down viewers’ throats (a brief kick to Aaron Sorkin while he’s already down), the guys behind the Law & Order family know better than to talk down to the faithful. So while this episode raised complex questions about the adequacy of science, faith, even God, to fix what’s wrong with the world and its inhabitants, it didn’t offer any easy answers.

For those who didn’t make the real-life connection (which was surprisingly not trumpeted in the previews), this episode’s case was based on the recent scandal that tarnished the National Association of Evangelicals when a male prostitute claimed he provided organization president Rev. Ted Haggard with some “booty bumps” of his own. (Side note: If you don’t know what that term means, you’re better off staying in the dark. I know I was.)

The TV twist was the murder of the preacher’s wife, which I didn’t find particularly interesting or well-executed — labyrinthitis apparently does not involve a fear of David Bowie and/or singing, dancing puppets, which would be a lot cooler than a fear of Venice. And, once again, will somebody please stop playing with the slow-motion and motion-blur features on the Criminal Intent cameras? Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

That questionable judgment was actually balanced out by a solid performance from none other than Tom Arnold — yes, I did just praise a Tom Arnold performance outside of True Lies, and I will go clean out my desk immediately — as the aforementioned beefcake-and-crank-loving preacher man. I found him surprisingly believable as pious, self-loathing, tortured — and apparently very allergic to something on the CI set. Was it just me, or did he sound really nasal?

Now, on to more important matters. I loved how much of Goren’s mixed-up family life we got to see tonight. Now we know that both cancer and schizophrenia were correct answers in the “What’s Wrong with Det. Goren’s Mom?” trivia game. It was interesting to see how he brought his police methods into dealing with his mother’s care — researching experimental treatments, calling in favors, bargaining with the doctor — though it was heartbreaking that it doesn’t look like any of it will work in the end.

Even more interesting, though, was Bobby's surprise conversation with his brother outside of the reverend’s church — though he claimed that he’d cleaned himself up, the contrast between the two Goren boys couldn’t be much starker: one a homeless, maybe ex-drug addict (an affecting Tony Goldwyn), the other one of the best detectives in the city. And it was truly touching to see Bobby playing his “brother’s keeper,” giving him money and even the coat off his back. And they really had me at the end there when Goren raced over to the morgue, only to find that it wasn’t his brother laying on the steel table — just his coat, with an anonymous dead guy in it.

Still, these story lines clearly won’t be over till someone — either the mother or the brother, or both — dies. And along the way, we get to know even more about the previously mysterious detective who has become far more painfully human this season.

Next Week: This is another ripped-from-the-headlines case I won’t mind seeing CI take on — partially because all that spies-and-espionage stuff never really gets old. But mostly because of the killer twist: the victim, who has been given slow-acting poison by those ever-wily Russkies, will be working with Logan and Wheeler to solve his own murder. Is it too premature to say “genius”?

Cop: "You listen to rap music, right?"
Logan: "Regularly."

So, I wasn’t really looking forward to this episode — another rap-murder case when we’ve seen way too many of these Tupac/Biggie slayings. And yet, I have to admit, I really enjoyed it – probably because the rap murder was only the “inciting incident” (pardon the high-school English term) for a complex case.

The real heart of this episode was deep-undercover detective Williams, played with surprising depth by rapper Sticky Fingaz — that’s right, I said Sticky Fingaz. It’s a subject that’s been dealt with sporadically (the excellent drug-cops drama Rush comes to mind), but not so much from the hip-hop underworld angle. It wasn’t hard to see why Williams became torn between protecting his family and carrying out his duty as a police officer — and why he crossed the line in the end.

Though he finally turned in his badge, I’d actually like to see a little more of this Williams character. Conflicted cops are always more interesting than the self-righteous, crusading ones — and he sure knew how to push Logan’s buttons. After The Noth put Sticky through that window, it’s a real toss-up as to who needs anger-management classes more: Logan or Special Victims Unit’s resident hothead, Elliot Stabler.

Of course, as usual, good old Captain Danny barely batted an eyelash at all this. I mean, one of your guys just put a fellow officer through a window; can you at least try to look a little perturbed, Bogosian ?

And while Julianne Nicholson still doesn’t thrill me overall (and that Howdy Doody dig was dead on), I actually felt some heat from her this time around, particularly when she snuck up behind the G-Man when he had Logan in his sights. Wheeler, with a gun to the cop-killer’s head: “G-Man, you shoot another cop, this time, there won’t be a trial.” Nice, Wheeler.

Another element that made this episode work for me was the decision to cast real rappers (including hip-hop scene vet Fab Five Freddy as the slain Fulla T) in the key roles, when producers could just as easily have hired actors to pretend to be rappers. I’m not the biggest fan of the genre (though I have been known to blast a little Nas when the mood strikes me), but I think the hip-hop authenticity is what made this episode succeed where others may have failed. All around, nice work.

Next Week: Tom Arnold as a psycho preacher? Gee, that won’t be offensive on several levels....

Welcome back, new episodes of Law & Order: Criminal Intent — we missed you so. A marked improvement over the Goren/Eames episode of last month (because monthly is about how often they’re running now), this was actually one of my favorites so far this season.

The acting was almost universally strong, from the detectives to the suspects — though I did pick up on some of that Captain Danny/Eric Bogosian woodenness others have complained of. When he “rushed” over to the dying judge’s aid at the duel and declared, “I’m a police officer” — well, there was just nothing there. No urgency, no shock at a murder taking place right in front of his kids. Heck, he even put the little scamps to work collecting video cameras from the crowd. Your fictional tax dollars fictionally at work, people.

Speaking of that duel, the whole opening sequence really threw me for a loop. Guys in powdered wigs, MTV-style quick-cutting and a Bowie/Queen accompaniment — I felt like I was watching a Falco video (“Rock Me Goren/Eames”?) with a better soundtrack. It’s a shame this was botched, because aside from those self-conscious opening shots and the way-out-of-place soundtrack, the montage of the duel being set up and the sniper taking aim was slick and effective. And timing the shot to match the duelists’ pistols firing was a nice touch — hey, if you’re gonna kill someone for money, at least do it with style.

After all that craziness, things calmed down and slipped back into their familiar investigational pattern. But tonight, they made it way too easy to pick out the killer — or at least the killing-arranger. Detectives interview limo driver. Limo driver acts suspicious. Because he did it. Case closed — a half hour later. While red herrings can be annoying when you’ve already figured out whodunit, a couple more might have drawn out this mystery a little longer.

But there was some interpersonal stuff to keep it interesting. I particularly enjoyed the twisted relationship between Lady Politician and Slimeball Construction Mogul (knew both of their faces, but I wish I’d caught their names). Their determination to make a marriage work despite cheating, spying and even murder was truly inspiring.

Also nice was a blink-and-you-missed-it exchange between Goren and Eames at a restaurant bar (he takes his Glen Livet straight, while she prefers a vodka martini):
Goren: “Are we all right?”
Eames: “I hope so.”
It wasn't much, but that tantalizing tidbit keeps my hope alive that these gently simmering tensions will eventually come back to a boiling point. Fingers crossed.

So all told, this was a good outing, though I’m not sure I’ll feel the same about...

Next Week: I’ll now go on the record for being officially sick of the L&O franchise detectives being forced to investigate rapper’s murders. A decade after Biggie and Tupac were killed, it’s not a hot topic, and it doesn’t make you look hip, guys — just a little desperate. What’s next? A cameo from 50 Cent as 25 Dollar in a ripped-from-The Source’s-headlines story?

*Note to NBC executives who are surely reading this blog: That’s just a joke, not a suggestion. However, if you have the bad taste to proceed, I want 20 percent. It’s only fair.