Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Kathy picked the perfect way to end her 4th fabulous season — by taking Team Griffin to Walter Reed Army Hospital in Washington DC, a rehab facility for recovering soldiers. Since laughter is the best medicine, meeting the men and women who have come back injured from fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan was truly the only way Kathy could top her Emmy-winning season two visit to the troops in combat in Iraq. It would be a no-brainer to predict that this will be the episode Bravo submits for Emmy consideration next year.

I laughed, I cried, I was inspired and for the final time this season, I will list as many highlights I can think of right here:
— In the opening standup footage, as only Kathy could, she proclaimed: "Oprah apparently can elect a President." I love that Kathy is the only one on TV ballsy enough to discuss the power of the O.
— Although Kathy's already performed for the troops, she was rightfully nervous to do a show for the hospital patients. But Kathy was up for the challenge — she knew they really needed a laugh and was going to work her very hardest to cheer them up. Even if it meant pimping her two female assistants to "look sexy." After she saw Jessica and Tiffany's "oh-no-you-didn't" faces, Kathy hilariously added "...er...I mean sexier." Kathy's best line, alone to the camera: "There are some guys there who don't have legs who might want to see some t-ts. Yeah...I'm a patriot. Let's see if they are." Then, to Jessica, referring to her "chicken cutlets": "Would it kill you to get one push-up bra for your country?"
— After Kathy asked Team Griffin if she should bring her Emmy along for photo ops with the soldiers and they looked unenthusiastic, it was great that they told her the Emmy would be considered a weapon. Kathy: "Believe me — it will be used against Ty Pennington or Cesar Millan. I'll stab 'em all with that Emmy just to win!"
— How many D-listers are able to describe someone as their "old Iraq buddy"? Our Kathy sure can: "Did you ever think you'd hear me say that?" I enjoyed seeing her get advice from her pal Lt. Colonel Todd via phone before flying to DC. Kathy's #1 rule was to make them laugh, but she also had to promise Todd that she would abide by the army rules. Definitely a rare moment observing Kathy agreeing to follow the rules.
— If you're like me, as soon as Kathy's about to have a scene with her mother, I either think or say out loud: "Yea, Maggie!" And this week, they did not disappoint. Even though she got advice from Lt. Colonel Todd, Kathy knew to turn to Maggie "for one of her famous drunken pep talks that I will then probably ignore." Maggie: "You're a girl. Wave a few pom poms and dance around." Kathy: "Is that you talkin' or (pointing to Maggie’s wine) that?" Kathy, after Maggie smirked: "I want to wipe that smirk right off your face. Remember when you used to say that to me when I was 15? Back atcha, lady!"
— Since Maggie's advice didn't suit Kathy, she called the person she labeled as "Colonel Comedy": Joan Rivers, who has performed for the troops many times. Joan: "Try to get some gay people in...some male nurses. I've rarely met a straight male nurse." Joan also told Kathy to only talk about what they're interested in, which was Kathy's biggest challenge (no Britney, no Lindsay). Joan's final two suggestions were to mention "hairy Iraq women...no matter how pretty or sweet she is, she's gonna have hair on her nipples." Kathy: "Perfect!" But most importantly, no making fun of the President.
— Once the eagle had landed in DC, Kathy showed Lt. Colonel Todd how boob-a-licious she, Jessica and Tiffany were going to be to the male soldiers. One of her greetings to them was going to be: "How was Iraq?" (pointing to her own rack at the second syllable). Brilliant.
— You could tell how nervous Kathy was when she visited the Fisher House, a housing facility for recovering soldiers and their families. What really hit her hard was meeting some of the young wives. Kathy: "At their age, I was temping and trying to audition for Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
— When the head administrator told Kathy "the young men and women did not make the policy — they just carry out the orders of the Commander in Chief," Kathy agreed. Since she herself had no political agenda: "I'm a comedian. I don't make the policy. I'm just carrying out the orders of people who want me to tell foul jokes."
— Kathy's toughest visit was to the Military Advanced Training Rehabilitation Center. She was insistent on not letting the amputees see her cry. When she did have her private cry, away from the soldiers and the hospital staff, I cried with her. Watching all those injured soldiers go through their rehab routines was a rude awakening. It made me think to myself that the next time I complain about my neck or back aching, at least I have all my body parts and I'll tell myself to get over it.
— Although her rehab visit made Kathy even more eager to put on a good show, she was still worried. Not surprisingly, she asked two women soldiers: "If you know any gay guys, I won't tell, just bring them along." Kathy will ask, but she won't tell.
— Meeting more soldiers boosted her excitement, especially Nick, the guy who had suffered five concussions and told Kathy: "Soldiers love you." Further solidifying her struggle to make her material straight-friendly, no one got her Project Runway references. Per Kathy, one soldier asked her: "Project Runway — what base is that on?" Kathy: "It's on a base called Manhattan with Heidi Klum."
— Kathy knew that the tattooed Nick was her answer to having a successful show: "That 'F--k me, I'm Irish' tattoo is comedy money in the bank!"
— After Kathy was charmed by the hospital's "therapy dog" named George, I laughed out loud when she added, with a straight face: "I'm gonna feel bad when I steal it."
— Since I appreciate puns more than the average person, I loved when the soldier, holding his fake arm in his hand, said to Kathy: "They told me today it would cost an arm and a leg to talk to you." I would've loved it even more if that line hadn't been featured in the promos.
— Kathy, after she was told her #1 soldier fan Nick wasn't in the audience: "I felt screwed. But here's what I have: t-ts. Two of them. Real. Old school. I'm gonna wear a low-cut shirt and I can force my staff to do it." Even worse, they told her there were four chaplains and up to six children: "Chaplains and children — not the best audience. Couldn't they have had Chaplain Day Care?”
— Since the soldiers were accustomed to dealing with bombs, perhaps it was fitting that Kathy bombed big time for the first portion of her show? But enter Nick, wheeling himself in to save the day. Nick's entrance made Kathy realize that all she had to do was material specifically geared towards the soldiers like showing everyone Nick's tattoo. They also appreciated hearing about the guy who could drink beer out of his hollow leg.
— Towards the end, she proved Team Griffin wrong when the line to get a photo taken with Kathy and her Emmy was really long: "As usual, Team Griffin can suck it!" But I think they were both right. I don't think those soldiers gave a crap about Kathy's Emmy — I think it was Kathy they wanted a photo with.
— Awesome final scene with Kathy's quick recap of the entire 4th season (thanking her mom, Team Griffin and saying a friendly sayonara to Woz). And how much did you love Kathy referencing to "next year"? Looks like Bravo's giving us a 5th season!

Well, it's been fun blogging yet another season of my favorite reality show. Bravo to Bravo for giving us ten episodes this year — more than any other season (last season it was seven and the first two seasons only had six each). Thank you, Kathy fans, for your comments and if I left any highlights out for this episode, please let me know below.

You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

This week, we finally got to witness Kathy confirming what she's been mentioning on the few talk shows she's not banned from: she and billionaire Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak have broken up. No big surprise since they had absolutely nothing in common, but I'm glad it was an amicable breakup and that they're still friends. Who wouldn't want to stay friends with Woz? How often does one befriend a billionaire? I thought this episode was a great way for us to bid farewell to Woz, at least when it came to him being the other half of the (according to Kathy) "power couple" of Kathy & Woz. When they ended the episode with the salute-to-Woz montage (a Woz-tage?), it was as if he had passed away. But since the relationship itself died, the Woz-tage was quite fitting.

Although Woz seems like a really cool dude, he doesn't exactly exude personality and I wouldn't use the word "humorous" when describing him, so this very Woz-centric episode's laugh quotient wasn't quite as high as the average D-List episode. How about when he wouldn't shut up at the Hick'ry Pit lunch? What made it funny was Kathy zoning out and fantasizing about a sleeping Chance or Pom-Pom and a man with fab abs.

Other highlights included:
— Much funnier than Woz himself is Kathy imitating Woz, so the episode began with footage of Kathy doing her standup act and mentioning how Woz was unfamiliar with American Idol (in a robotic monotone voice): "I have never heard of such a thing."
— I got my weekly Maggie fix when Kathy visited with her mother and complained to her that Woz didn't enjoy going to fancy restaurants and that his favorite establishment is Bob's Big Boy. After Kathy mentioned that Woz preferred to buy his suits at Men's Wearhouse, Maggie, of course, had to defend him and say that Kathy's father also preferred Men's Wearhouse, which, in turn, made me miss Mr. Griffin.
— How many of you want to ride on a Segway now like I do? Watching Woz train Kathy on riding one for the first time was a riot. Kathy, after her first Segway lesson: "I believe I cheated death several times, but now I'm ready for a meal."
— "Nice segue" was what I immediately thought, since the next scene was Kathy and Woz heading for lunch at Bob's Big Boy in Burbank. Leave it to Woz to associate all those B's with the number 2, since B is the second letter of the alphabet and "2 is a good number for computer people."
— Kathy cracked me up when the Woz fan came up to him and asked Woz to sign his iPod and didn't recognize Kathy. That must've been absolute hell for Kathy, sitting there in her Dolce & Gabbana outfit, at Bob's Big Boy in Burbank, and the autograph seeker was there for someone else. Ouch.
— When I heard Kathy and Woz were going to be the co-hosts for something called the "Fur Ball," I was ecstatic when I realized it wasn't another bear convention, but rather a black-tie benefit for a no kill animal shelter where Woz is a board member.
— When Kathy first mentioned she was doing a lecture at the USC business school, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought: "Huh?" But it later made sense because the professor who asked her to speak was one of Kathy's gay fans and what better person to speak about First Amendment rights than Kathy Griffin? Although Kathy has been fired several times, she's never been sued before, thanks to those First Amendment rights.
— Another "Huh?" moment was finding out how Kathy found Jessica: Jessica was the shampoo girl at a hair salon and someone recommended her to Kathy since she was hyper and organized. Jessica finding Tiffany on MySpace made more sense.
— Kathy's visit to her pal Michael McDonald’s house involved some foreshadowing. The very perceptive non-Doobie Brother MM to Kathy: "Are you going to marry Steve Wozniak?" Kathy: "I will never get married again." MM: "I would say he's got six weeks left with you." Kathy: "The clock is ticking?"
— That scene was the segue into Kathy revealing the unfortunate, but inevitable truth to us: "Romantically, it's probably not clicking. That's a computer term: clicking. I learned it from him. Let's just say he hasn't clicked my mouse."
— How about Kathy playing matchmaker to her friend Rachel True? It was Rachel herself who asked Kathy to set her up with one of Woz's single geek counterparts. Kathy: "The geeks are gonna love Rachel because they've all seen The Craft and, you know...seen it again with their right hand, if ya know what I mean."
— Awesome combo of The Bachelorette and Beauty & the Geek they were playing, especially the "no living with their mother" rule and the hilarious visual and sound effects (a Family Feud-ish "X" with a loud honking noise when they failed and a "thumbs up" sign with a ding-ding noise when they succeeded).
— I liked Kathy's attempt to play "Segway polo" with Woz and his friends in Silicon Valley just so she could try and fit in: "Now I know how he feels on the red carpet." Even better was after Kathy segued from player to sports reporter, giving the play-by-play when Rachel started participating and kicked some Segway polo ass. That was right before Rachel chose Rob over George as her geek pick.
— Kathy, Woz, his assistant Julie and Team Griffin all looked fabulous at the Fur Ball. Yes, Kathy admitted that co-hosting the Fur Ball was very D-List: "Not that, ya know, Jennifer Garner or Nicole Kidman wouldn't do something like this. It's just that they wouldn't."
— You knew something was up when Woz's ex-wife showed up at the Fur Ball, came to Woz and Kathy's table and Woz didn't introduce Kathy. At least Peggy Fleming spoke to her. Or rather, a drunk Peggy Fleming. Kathy: "Peggy fricking Fleming! And she's hammered!"
— That scene lead to Kathy confessing (right before they showed the montage): "Steve and I stopped dating because there wasn't really chemistry to begin with. But we had lots of friendship chemistry." Then, during the montage: "He's special and I'm happy to have him in my life. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Maybe not the best combo."
— Interesting tell-tale ending with two back-to-back freeze frame shots. First, a shot of Woz smiling with the following caption: "One month after the Fur Ball, Steve got engaged (obviously not to Kathy)." Then, a shot of Rachel and her chosen bachelor: "Rachel and Rob, the geek, still remain in close contact...via email." I was expecting a third freeze-frame shot and caption of Kathy: "Kathy is still single and pretends to be on the D-List."

Did I forget to highlight anything you enjoyed? If so, Kathy fans, let me know below. Next week is the season finale and it's a full episode, not a best-of compilation as originally planned.

For additional D-List airings, go here. And you can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

In this episode, we got to further discover how Kathy wants to get off the D-list and onto the G-list. And by G, I mean Grammy. I think mama Maggie said it best: "Don't you have to sing or play instruments to get a Grammy?" Of course, Kathy doesn't plan on singing for her (Grammy) supper — she wants to be nominated for either Best Comedy Album or Best Spoken Word recording for her CD. So this week, we got to see portions of Kathy's campaign to grab that Grammy nomination.

I've got to first say that I saw the brilliant "Kathy Griffin: For Your Consideration" billboard (where Kathy is crawling hysterically on a red carpet) while driving recently on Sunset Blvd. here in LA. Did I almost get into an accident because I couldn't take my eyes off the billboard? Yep. And I immediately thought to myself: "Must mention this in the blog." Done. I'll add that the billboard is placed in one of the busiest sections of Sunset Blvd. (right off Crescent Heights), so I've got to commend Kathy's marketing peeps for a job well done and for literally stopping traffic.

Although the episode focused on Kathy's Grammy campaign, or as I'd like to call it, her Gramm-paign, it was filled with highlights galore, both Grammy-related and not:
— Before the Gramm-paign began, Kathy had to do a cover shoot for American Way magazine (that would be the American Airlines in-flight publication, don't cha know). There she was, sitting on a bus stop in a not-so-nice-looking area of LA, dressed in an oh-so-nice ball gown and looking fabulous, accompanied by, of course, her Emmy. I guess it was supposed to be funny that the Emmy was on the sidewalk, adjacent to the bus stop, followed by a shot of Kathy holding a small pooch, then talking to a random dude who happened to be walking by. Maybe we had to be there?
— This rather lame photo shoot prompted Kathy to move on: "It's time for a new award. Maybe a Grammy?" Cut to Kathy and Team Griffin flying to the Big Apple to meet with some very successful, very aggressive and very expensive marketing people. But it wasn't just marketing execs. This D-lister-who's-actually-a-C-lister had to go all out and hire Robert Verdi to design her outfits and she chose only one of the best photographers around — Mike Ruiz — to shoot the photos. D-list, my ass! (Please say that like Maggie would, to get the full effect.)
— Kathy, post-photo shoot: "It was nice to be Nicole Richie for one day. I mean, who doesn't want to be? Except that I get hungry."
— Then Kathy took Team Griffin to meet with and get financial advice from money guru Suze Orman. Not the spot-on Kristen Wiig parody on SNL, but the real one. Suze didn't hold back, spewing out advice left and right, but focusing on Jessica (who she called "Jennifer"). It killed me that Kathy wanted to ask Suze if she's ever done Oprah's finances: "Then I can find out if Oprah and Gayle have a civil union." Kathy could tell that Suze was getting frustrated with Jessica, giving her a "Suze Smackdown" and negating everything Jessica would say. But I was on Jessica's side when she told Suze why she leases a car (since it's exactly the same reason why I lease a car): "Because I want a new car every four years." You tell her, Jessica.
— Back in LA, Kathy figured a Grammy nominee is someone who gets a lot of publicity and press, like Britney. What better way to get press than hiring Adnan Ghalib? All Adnan (who, at the time, was still dating Britney), had to do was take Kathy to paparazzi-frequented hot spots and suddenly Kathy was all over the tabloids. I loved that Adnan thought he was telling Kathy something she didn't know by saying she could get her picture in a magazine "but they're not going to write anything good." Kathy to Team Griffin: "Does he not know my work?"
— If only we could've heard Britney's conversation with Adnan on his cell phone, the conversation that was happening simultaneously with Kathy's cell chat with Steve Wozniak. As Kathy and Adnan drove through Hollywood talking to their significant-at-that-time others on the phone, she referred to the four of them as two power couples: "Get ready, Grammys! Here comes Kathy Spears Ghalib!"
— Just when I thought I wasn't getting my Maggie fix, Kathy decided to surprise her mother by showing up at Maggie's condo. Once again, one of Kathy's best gay friends, Patrick, was there keeping Maggie company. Kathy: "Do not fall for that vulnerability act. 'Oh, I'm in a trench coat with a walker!' She will cut you if you look at her sideways." Nothing is funnier than picturing Maggie clubbing with Patrick and his friends, or as Kathy puts it, "closing down the bars with my gays." Kathy was on a roll, though, saying that her mother was "so hungover from clubbing with my gays, I want to call her 'Maggie Winehouse'...or rather: 'White Winehouse.'"
— Since Kathy figured she had to court the older Grammy voters, she decided to get Maggie some interviews in senior citizen publications and websites such as Grandparents.com and ELDR magazine. But Kathy had to coach Maggie first by making sure her mother didn't embarrass her by wearing a Band-Aid or always having facial tissues in her purse and pockets (like most grandmothers do) for "some sneezing emergency." Kathy: "If you have even one balled up Kleenex in your pocket, I'm gonna take you to the home today: Shady Pines." This line especially made me laugh in lieu of its timeliness since the beloved Estelle Getty passed away last week.
— Kathy, to one of the journalists, about Maggie: "She got a new bra — her first one in 17 years — and we all had to hear about it."
— The absolute highlight? That would be the one that caused me to TiVo back three times because I was laughing so hard. Kathy, recreating the prayer she used to say out loud before going to sleep each night when she was a child (quietly): "I hate all those guys. I'm so much funnier than they are. They'll see. What I'm gonna do is I'll be funnier than anybody can be. If not, I'll just swear a lot like a boy. Then I'll buy things. And more things. I'll make them pay. I'll make them all pay. Uhhh...goodnight, Jesus."

What were your highlights, Kathy fans? Please add them below.

Side note:
Did you hear Kathy was asked to be on Dancing with the Stars? Click here for her answer.

For additional D-List airings, go here. And you can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

Before I get into the main part of this episode — the trip to Bora Bora — I've got to begin by saying how happy I was that mama Maggie was featured so much. I never expected to enjoy watching the antics of an 87 year-old woman as much as I do, but this episode was very Maggie-centric, so I was loving every minute of it. Since Maggie is too frightened to fly these days and wasn't able to join Team Griffin on their trip to Bora Bora, she was still prominently featured before and after the trip. Now don't get me wrong. I still watch this show first and foremost because Kathy cracks me up. But after Mrs. Kathy, Maggie is my favorite.

I will now tell you why this episode, one that mostly took place in Bora Bora, did not bore-uh bore-uh me, by, of course, listing the highlights:
— Setting the tone for the episode, Kathy was first seen doing stand-up and talking about her mother (which meant I was smiling right away). Kathy said she wanted to put together an "old person's survival kit" that included such pertinent items as a cell phone without features like call waiting "that does nothing...old people are f---ing stoked!" and a Life Alert. Kathy: "'I've fallen and I can't get up!' and then I'd push her, just to test it."
— Kathy decided to finally grant Team Griffin one of their wishes from The Secret board they started. Since I am unfamiliar with the secrets of The Secret, I did not know that the book suggests writing things down on pieces of paper that you yearn for, in hopes that they'll come true (I'm already deciding never to read that book). So one of the board items Jessica and Tiffany created was a trip to Bora Bora (an island in Tahiti) and Kathy took the bait. Only problem for Kathy was that she had to work while Team Griffin got to play.
— Kathy was not havin' Maggie spending so much time with Patrick, one of Kathy's best gay friends: "My mother mostly hangs out with her gays, which used to be my gays...before she stole them from me!" Kathy wants Maggie to hang out with people her own age: "I want my gays back!"
— We learned this week that Maggie doesn't know how to swim. Kathy: "What?! Name five things you can do." Maggie: "I had five kids. I've gotcha beat there, Kath." You go, Maggie!
— Once Team Griffin arrived at the beautiful resort in Bora Bora, one of the first things they saw was a school of piranhas swimming at the hotel. Kathy: "That's like Hollywood. Like every audition I had in the '90s."
— Kathy is similar to some of the comedians and comic actors I personally know who just don't feel like being "on" all the time when they are out in public. Kathy's real reason for going to Bora Bora was to perform on a gay "on land" cruise. Yes, she was getting paid for it, but this trip was definitely work, not play, for Kathy. Whereas Team Griffin considered it a vacation, Kathy was kind of dreading it. But the light at the end of the tunnel was that she thought she'd be performing for her core audience of gay people.
— Turned out the group was 60% gay and 40% straight, so poor Kathy was freaking out since she was more confident performing for all-gay crowds. I loved watching Kathy go table-to-table so she could size up the crowd. Who knew the craziest people there would be the straight people? It was a learning experience for Kathy meeting the divorced couples who were there together, unhitched, yet having sex with each other. Kathy: "Divorcees with benefits. My world is turned upside down. It's a Peyton Place around here!"
— Kathy learned that not all predominantly gay audiences are supportive, especially when she bombed after making fun of gay couples who adopt babies, or as Kathy put it, "gay-bies." They obviously don't know that Kathy makes fun of everyone. She does not discriminate.
— Comedian Mario Cantone softened the blow for Kathy by telling her he feels the same way she does, but he hates all children, not just gay people's kids.
— When Kathy saw one of the straight guys the next day by the picnic at the beach, she felt obligated to give him face time since he was mostly surrounded by gay people: "He's not getting enough straight time. He feels neglected. I feel like I should blow 'em or something." That one made me TiVo back twice, I was laughing so hard.
— Kathy, giving an interview with a travel magazine, couldn't answer the reporter's tough question: "Bette or Cher?" Kathy: "Did you ever see that movie Sophie's Choice? Because that's what this is like. Pass!"
— Kathy admitted to not having any facial work done for the last five years and has "no Botox in my forehead. I can make full expressions. I'm the only person in LA that can do that!"
— When Kathy returned to the Bora Bora stage post-bombing, she compared herself to J-Hud: "I'm the white Jennifer Hudson...from Dreamgirls, on my knee saying 'And I am telling you...'" Kathy was determined that they were gonna love her.
— That weird Todd guy certainly creeped Kathy out, but luckily, she warmed to him after witnessing everyone else respecting him. Kathy was a hit in her final night there.
— Back in LA, Kathy's plan was to take Maggie to a retirement village, a.k.a. senior day care, just for a visit. Lo and behold, Maggie enjoyed it. Perhaps it was the wine tasting portion?
— Although I thought Maggie would be peeved, she ended up accepting all of Kathy's "old people survival" gifts, even the new scooter.

So we have three more new episodes for this season. Before our new episodes run out, Kathy fans, let me know what you thought of this week's episode.

You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

First of all, congrats to Kathy since she was just nominated for two Emmys: Outstanding Reality Program for Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (which she won last year) and Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special for Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell. Yea, Kathy and Team Griffin!

Now, onto this week's episode...

Proving that she really does want to be the "red-headed Oprah," Kathy took Team Griffin to Mexico to start the Kathy Griffin Leadership Academy. Oh sure, the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy School For Girls is a school for poor, underprivileged little girls in South Africa and Kathy's is just a refurbished library in Mismaloya, a not-so-poor and not-so-underprivileged town in Mexico. But Kathy can at least say she's a "mini-Oprah."

It was immediately funny when Kathy admitted that she wasn't exactly going to a "bad" part of Mexico. No. Kathy had to go to Mismaloya, a city in Mexico that was close enough to one of her favorite vacation spots: Puerto Vallarta. The only problem with making it so close to PV was that Kathy fell asleep in the hot sun while laying out by the swanky pool and got a really bad sunburn. So bad that she allowed us to see a rare glimpse of her wearing not a stitch of makeup. But in true self-deprecating Kathy form, she made several jokes about her appearance, like saying she was scaring some of the Mexican children, accompanied by hilarious visual and sound effects (one was a high-pitched scream). Kathy looked so bad that she said: "It's like that joke: 'Does your face hurt? Well, it's killing me.'" And killing is what this episode was doing to me.

Some of the many other highlights included:
— Since Oprah prefers to have Stedman join in on special episodes like "Oprah's Favorite Things," Kathy had to have her Stedman, Steve Wozniak, join her journey to Mexico, along with Woz's trusty assistant Julie (OK, Julie got there days before Woz). Per Kathy's request, Woz donated four brand new Mac computers to the library. Even though Kathy claimed the kids were using the computers to view porn, it looked as though their favorite thing was shooting a video and putting it on YouTube.
— Mama Maggie called Kathy "the D-List Oprah or a little above" and was willing to donate some of her books to Kathy's new project, but not money. Kathy said if she runs into trouble with her adventure, she'll rename it the Maggie Griffin School For Girls.
— Kathy felt she had to ask her Spanish-speaking housekeeper Minerva to come along to Mexico. Someone had to help clean things up. Kathy: "I can't even clean my language, much less a school!"
— Kathy, describing the computer-less Mexican children: "They haven't even seen Internet porn. What kind of country is this?"
— Kathy, while having to clean the library: "I never had to do this on Suddenly Susan."
— Kathy desperately tried to remove a wire that was sticking out of a wall by a window without success. Then a little boy named Christian came and pulled it out right away. Kathy to the kid: "Well I loosened it!"
— Kathy: "I don't remember Oprah ever cleaning. I'm sure she had Gayle try it."
— I loved when Kathy related to the one shy young chubby gal who Kathy figured was picked on by the mean girls like Kathy was as a child. This was made even funnier when they superimposed Kathy's head over the girl. Payback is a bitch named Kathy because now Kathy can make fun of those mean girls and she "can buy and sell all of them!"
— I also loved when Kathy called Christian her new love interest and referred to it as a May-December forbidden romance a la The Thorn Birds: "But I'm the priest and Christian is Rachel Ward."
— Kathy, continuing to struggle through the cleaning and fixing of the library, knew that Oprah would've yelled for Gayle and everything would've gotten fixed: "Gaaaaaaaayle!! Fix the biblioteccaaaaaaaaa!!!"
— Kathy, noticing that the kids started getting used to her after a few days: "The kids like me more today. I should be in the UN. You know what? Take that, Jolie!"
— Since Maggie couldn't make the Mexican trip and Kathy knows we adore Maggie, she simply had to have Maggie phone it in. Kathy: "I think my Mom thinks that Oprah and Jesus are one and the same." Maggie: "Everything Oprah does turns out like roses, but your's are like everything falls flat. You should open a school in Ireland." Kathy: "Pom Pom is here with me. We're not going to just switch countries."
— Kathy, under pressure to finish getting the library cleaned in time for the opening: "It's too late to turn it over to Kathie Lee Gifford which was my B-plan. I would feel terrible if it turned into a sweat shop."
— Only three press people showed up for the opening. Kathy: "One guy was a gay guy who happened to have a small microphone...which is how journalism started."
— Kathy was amazed that the Mexican children had never heard of Oprah: "I'm moving here. I found a magical land where they don’t know who Oprah is." So, of course, Kathy had to joke with them: "Oprah is a powerful woman who tortures Mrs. Kathy. She's a bad, bad lady who hurts people." Then she admitted she stole the idea from Oprah.
— The episode concluded with some impressive before and after shots of the library. Kathy was thrilled but surprised that the children were "excited about both the books and the computers. I never was. I was interested in a book called People magazine."
— But at the very end, Team Griffin got sweet revenge on Kathy by making a Kathy piñata, even dressing it in an outfit resembling Kathy's Emmy dress. When the kids went crazy clobbering the Kathy piñata, Kathy said: "My staff has thrown me under the bus as usual and they have committed what I would consider to be a hate crime." Kathy insisted that the children, encouraged by Team Griffin, used the piñata as a replica of "the odd lady with the burned face."

Did I leave anything out, Kathy fans? Let me know below.

For additional D-List airings, click here. And you can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

After last week's oh-so-A-List sold-out show at Madison Square Garden, Kathy was back "on the D-L" this week. Not that kind of D-L, as in Down-Low, but Kathy's kind of D-L: D-List. You can't get more D-List than being the special guest at the International Bear Roundup in San Francisco or getting your assistants a teaching gig at the Learning Annex. Since I'm not a Bears fan, my level of pre-excitement wasn't as high as usual going into this episode, but I decided to just grin and bear it (sorry, couldn't resist). Oh, please. You know Kathy could watch paint dry and I'd laugh. So, although I couldn't bear to look at Kathy doing things like signing the bare hairy bear ass of one of her fans at the convention, there were still lots of highlights:

— Kathy shared with us that her mama Maggie learned the word "skank" from watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Kathy, imitating Maggie: "I hope you don't turn into a skank like those God damn Kardashians! The mother thinks she's one of the daughters. Luckily, I was not like that with you, Kathleen." Kathy: "No, mom. I don't walk around in a muu-muu and flip-flops, so don't worry."
— Kathy's latest attempt to torture Team Griffin was to sign them up to teach a course at the Learning Annex: How To Be a Celebrity Assistant.
— Kathy's latest attempt to be a do-gooder and contribute to society was to do a PSA for the Guide Dog Foundation. Kathy's ulterior motive was one of the best parts of the episode. Kathy wanted the two visiting guide dogs and their owners to be inspiration for her two ill-behaved dogs Chance and Pom Pom.
— It was quite inspiring to meet Heidi, the blind woman, and especially Tony, the man whose leg was injured in Iraq and he needed a guide dog to help his balance. Kathy, about Tony: "He's been to war. He's trained in combat. I think he might be ready for Pom Pom." Not-so-inspiring was Jeff, the guy who brought Heidi, Jeff and their guide dogs to Kathy's home, but didn't appreciate Kathy’s sense of humor. How could he not laugh at Kathy impersonating a dog and humping his leg?
— Kathy, after jerky Jeff said she had a problem with her ego: "Ego? You don't even know ego. I stared at myself in the mirror for an hour today. And after he leaves, I'm gonna stare at myself for another hour."
— What a perfect person for Kathy to call upon to help her with her "doggy debacle," even though she beat him at the Emmys: Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer! Kathy, describing Chance and Pom Pom a.k.a. "Dogs Behaving Badly": "They're out of control. They're like animals!"
— Meanwhile, Maggie's been spending time with one of Kathy's "best gays": Patrick. Kathy to Maggie: "I can't believe you're trying to steal my gay!"
— After observing Maggie and Patrick together, Kathy was not havin' it, feeling like a bit of an outsider: "It's like they're Ashton and Demi...and I'm Bruce Willis."
— Kathy tried c-ck-blocking Maggie by mentioning that Patrick was a bear. Maggie, after Kathy asked her if she knew what bears were: "They're a football team."
— Kathy added Steve Wozniak's anal-retentive assistant Julie to the Learning Annex mix, knowing that it would aggravate Team Griffin. Jessica, about Julie: "I wouldn't hang out with her in school. That's all I'm saying."
— After Team Griffin and Team Woz began their course for adventure, in walked Kathy and Woz. Anything to add salt to Team Griffin's wounds. Kathy was especially hard on Tom, heckling him throughout. But Jessica's revenge was announcing that Kathy "lost her panty liner today and wanted us to find it." Seems as though it "may have fallen out at some point." Oh, Kathy.
— Most fascinating moment: Cesar Millan very smoothly getting Pom Pom to walk on the treadmill! Amazing.
— Was it just me or did Woz seem a bit too comfortable at the Bear convention? And how about Woz and Jessica arguing about who sold the most merchandise? I don't blame Jessica for getting peeved that Woz gave away freebies but paid for the "merch" himself.
— Only Kathy can get away with calling Oprah "the ultimate bear" and Gayle "her cub." Even better was Kathy referring to John Travolta as an "old school bear with painted hair...and that poor 'wife' acting like she f--ks him. Now that's acting!"

What about you, Kathy fans? Which parts were your favorites? I bearly can't wait to find out.
You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

Further proof that Kathy's big mouth (you know, the one that I love so much) does indeed get her into trouble: we got to learn this week that Kathy has been re-banned from The View. Kathy’s been banned from a lot of shows, but, per Kathy: "This is my first re-banning." Seems executive producer Bill Geddie wasn't quite ready...to forgive Kathy for something she included in her recent Bravo special Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell. For those who missed it, Kathy hilariously recalled her conversation inside the View hair & makeup room before her last appearance where the discussion was K-Y Jelly and other lubricants. Babs Walters allegedly said: "I prefer Astroglide." Apparently, sharing makeup room conversations with TV viewers is a no-no, so Kathy was re-banned from appearing on The View. As Stockard Channing so eloquently put it as Rizzo in Grease, "Some people are so touchy."

So, even though her gig at Madison Square Garden was sold out, Kathy still wanted to do some press while she was hitting the Big Apple again. Since Bill Geddie blocked Kathy's View, assistants extraordinaire Jessica and Tiffany came up with a sure-fire way to get Kathy some NY press: they found an engaged couple living in Queens willing to have Kathy marry them. Thanks to J & T, Kathy was able to get a license to become an ordained minister off the Internet a la Joey from Friends. (Side note to give you another reason why I appreciate Kathy's sense of humor so much: my youngest brother Mike Anderson did the same thing and performed the wedding ceremony of my middle brother Steve Anderson and his wife Vicki Anderson. Per Steve's request, I sang Andy Gibb's "I Just Want To Be Your Everything" in the key of Andy during the service, just to show you how religious most of my family is.) Perhaps the best line of Kathy's: "If I can become an ordained minister, then religion as we know it (pause) has never been better! I love Jesus!"

Other highlights:
— Kathy had to break the news to mama Maggie about The View. Maggie, outraged: "I'm not watching any show you're banned from!" How many mothers have said that to their daughters? Maggie insisted that Kathy had to "kiss ass — that's what counts in this business!" Now that sounds like my mother.
— Kathy, after she was told the couple getting married was a straight couple named Elka and Brian: "That's not their drag names?"
— Since Kathy wasn't able to wear her fancy Carolina Herrera outfit on The View, she decided to wear it to Rosie O'Donnell's house in New York. She felt it was appropriate since Rosie knows a thing or two about not being on The View and saying controversial things.
— Somehow I knew that Kathy wouldn't be into crafting like Rosie: "I hate crafting! But that's why God invented assistants. They're paid to craft for me."
— The best part of the Rosie visit was the trade-out that Kathy and Rosie made: Kathy, thanks to her pal Steve Wozniak, will get Rosie into the TED conference in exchange for Rosie taking Kathy to see Cher in her opening night concert in Las Vegas and then introducing them. Kathy: "I basically traded Steve Wozniak for Cher."
— Although watching Kathy get together with two of the bad girls from Oxygen's The Bad Girls Club (Tanisha & Hannah) didn't make me want to watch that show, I did love hearing Kathy try to talk and act like them. Now we know that to "pop off" means to beat someone up.
— Kathy wore her Golden Globes dress for the marriage ceremony, but her best accessory was her hair. Kathy called herself "the high priestess Farrah Fawcett. I know — I went a little over-the-top with the hair."
— I thought Kathy was going to pop off Samantha, the wedding planner from hell, especially during the ceremony, as Samantha stood behind the curtain giving her instructions like Mr. Slugworth in Willy Wonka or the "wizard" in Wizard of Oz. I was waiting for Kathy to say: "Pay no attention to that bitch behind the curtain!"
— Just as it was great to see Kathy socialize with Margaret Cho last week, I enjoyed seeing Kathy have breakfast with fellow funny ladies Megan Mullally and Molly Shannon. My favorite part was hearing what each of their "airport questions" are. Molly's: "Are you the lady who plays the Superstar?" Megan's: "Is that your real voice?" or (lately) "Tina Fey?" Kathy's: "Try 15 years of 'Kathy Lee Gifford?'"
— It was also quite interesting to learn that Megan deep-tongued Rob Lowe during the filming of a movie Kathy is obsessed with (as am I): About Last Night. Speaking of movies I'm obsessed with, I just realized I've made references to my Top 3 all-time favorite movies in one blog:
#1: Wizard of Oz
#2: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
#3: Grease
— Kathy asked Megan and Molly advice on how to be a better celebrity, asking if they have ever been banned from a talk show. Although they both support Kathy, neither have ever been banned, but Megan suggested to Kathy to get her own talk show and told her: "F--- The View! Who cares?"
— Kathy's sold out performance at Madison Square Garden was so successful, the next time she performs there, she might be in the arena portion on New Year's Eve. Kathy: "That's where the Knicks play...and that's a really popular football team. So suck it!" Yes, she said football. I. Love. Her.
— Luckily, publicity whore Kathy got the amount of press she was hoping for, with coverage of the wedding appearing in In Touch Weekly, National Enquirer & other tabloids, equipped with "pretty pictures." Kathy: "Look at me! I'm the prettiest minister in a wig you ever saw! Ooh...I love it!"

Thanks once again for your comments, Kathy fans. Don't stop.

You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

Almost every week, I make a comment that questions Kathy's D-list status. That's because Kathy frequently does things that border on A-list like co-hosting CNN's New Year's Eve special with Anderson Cooper, selling out Madison Square Garden or dating billionaire Steve Wozniak. But this week, Kathy proved me wrong again, further solidifying her insistence that she's D-list by performing via P.A. system on an airplane. And not just any plane. We're talkin' a 14-hour "Pink Flight" from San Francisco headed to Sydney, Australia, for the Gay Mardi Gras and filled to the rim with drag queens, gay guys and gay-friendly gals. It wouldn't be so D-list if she was just flying to Australia to perform at Gay Mardi Gras a la divas Cyndi Lauper and Olivia Newton-John, or be the "Chief of the Parade" like Margaret Cho. No. This is Kathy Griffin we're referring to. Kathy: "Dane Cook doesn't have to do this." Kathy had to stand at the gate and tear each passenger's ticket after greeting them. After takeoff, she had to perform over a loud speaker on an airplane where only a few people could see her, sleep for 6 hours next to one of the lavatories, then serve breakfast, visit people at their seats and parade around in her bra. OK, the last one was her own personal choice. But D-list, all the way. As usual, the "D" did not stand for dull and there were highlights galore:

— In the opening standup footage, setting the Australian tone, Kathy mentioned that Portia De Rossi probably hates her ever since she used to refer to Portia as "the fat ass on Ally McBeal" (only in comparison to Calista Flockhart, of course).
— In her quest for international stardom, Kathy felt she had to perform in the land down under, especially since Australians for the most part emulate Kathy's persona. Kathy referred to Australians, especially the press there, as mostly "unshockable...it's kind of like they're all gay."
— It wasn't a drag at all learning something new about Jessica: she's scared of drag queens! Jessica: "They're big and tall and clown-like. I'm scared they're gonna touch me when I'm sleeping."
— During a phone interview with some pre-trip Australian radio station reps, Kathy learned that "Aussies pride themselves on using language that no one else on the planet uses," especially when it comes to cussing. Expressions like: "dick bag" and "cu-- features."
— A Kathy episode would not be complete without at least one scene with hilarious mama Maggie. This week, Kathy just had to show her 87 year-old mother the custom-made Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List condoms she and Team Griffin were going to give out during the Gay Mardi Gras parade. One of the very best lines was Kathy to the camera, after giving Maggie a bunch of condoms to keep: "What if she ends up with the wrong 86 year old? Next thing ya know, she’s itching."
— Kathy, in reference to Gay Mardi Gras: "It's the biggest gay extravaganza in the world...even bigger than the one Oprah and Gayle host in their backyard." Then Kathy looks to camera and does a "Shhh!" gesture with her finger. Brilliant. Who else on earth would have the nerve to go there, but Kathy?
— This flight, however, was a piece of cake compared to her experience in Iraq. Kathy: "My trip to Iraq trained me for this day."
— Kathy was a disaster serving breakfast and only lasted a few rows.
— Since she didn't think Jessica and Tiffany were working enough ("I'm onto them!"), she brought two of the Australian drag queens over to Jessica's seat just to scare her.
— It was quite timely of Kathy to pretend to be rehab-bound and to lie about having a mental illness since Heather Locklear just admitted herself to rehab a few days ago. It really is the thing to do in Hollywood these days.
— It was nice to see Lance Bass be funny and act more natural and personable, visiting the Australian zoo with Kathy and gang. I remember back to season one when he was still in the closet and just sat there smiling on Kathy's couch sans personality. I'm glad he's gotten more 'N Sync with his inner self.
— Kathy, about Lance: "He calms my nerves. He's kind of like gay valium."
— Kathy to the zookeeper holding an adorable Koala bear: "How much are they?"
— Kathy, while performing in Australia, felt it quite necessary to address one of the most famous Aussies, Nicole Kidman: "Her forehead hasn't moved since Far & Away."
— Kathy, having high tea with Olivia Newton-John and Carson Kressley, was determined to try out one of her newly-learned Aussie terms, the aforementioned "cu-- features" with ONJ. But not right away: "I want to wait until she's had her first scone."
— Kathy to ONJ, about her oh-so-famous "Physical" workout wardrobe: "You never got a yeast infection from wearing that outfit?"
— Perhaps the best line of Kathy's, after she failed to humor ONJ with the C-word term: "I can't believe I just said 'cu-- features' to Sandra Dee! I'm a bigger bitch than Rizzo!" Have I told you lately that I love Kathy Griffin?
— Margaret Cho and Kathy in the same show? It was a thrill to see two of my comic goddesses walk together in the streets of Australia and make each other laugh and Kathy even referred to Margaret as "so not D-List."
— Kathy, about getting the paparazzi to cover her, Margaret and Cyndi as they were en route to the Gay Mardi Gras: "I didn't call them, I texted them." Kathy didn't want to pay the international roaming charges, don'tcha know.
— Although I didn't buy that Kathy wasn't given her own float, I thoroughly enjoyed watching them walk from float to float, as well as Kathy's closing line: "It's just mayhem. It's gayhem!"

What did you think, Kathy fans? Chime in below.

You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

After last week's season premiere that was chock full of A-listic antics, Kathy was back to her D-list ways this week. Since most people know and love Kathy's mama Maggie Griffin and they are big fans of Kathy's 1st assistant Jessica Zajicek, Kathy wanted us to learn more about the two other lesser-known members of Team Griffin: tour manager Tom Vize and 2nd assistant Tiffany Rinehart. So Kathy decided to do press tours to Tom and Tiffany's hometowns. But Kathy had an ulterior motive. She figured if she went to Tom's hometown (Fenton, Missouri but performing in nearby St. Louis) and then to Tiffany's (Tracy, California), more people would want to purchase Kathy Griffin merchandise like T-shirts and boxer shorts. Not sure I got the logic behind this, but Kathy's plan worked, at least in the town of Tracy, thanks to the assistance of Tiffany's grandma Milly.

After Milly phoned it in last season when she enthusiastically called while Kathy was appearing live on HSN, Kathy knew that Milly, "a terror in a muu-muu," would be the perfect person to help them "move some merch." Of course, it didn't hurt that Jessica and Tiffany knew they'd get new BlackBerries from Kathy if they sold 200 T-shirts. Tom, on the other hand, wasn't asking for a new BlackBerry. All he wanted was a hug. Oh yes, and something else. Kathy to Tom: "I thought all you wanted was a hug and a blow job." Kathy to Jessica and Tiffany: "Can one of you guys blow Tom? I've got to pee."

Some of the other highlights:
— Maggie having to take another sip of wine since she gets nervous when Kathy makes references to her "Suck it, Jesus" Emmy victory speech and Kathy wanted to have that phrase printed on Kathy merchandise. Maggie gave her reluctant motherly approval, however, to Kathy's idea of having "Holy fu-- balls" printed on boxer shorts.
— Who knew we'd ever see Coolio give Kathy advice on how to win a Grammy, especially while appearing on Tom Green's internet talk show that takes place in his living room?
— Speaking of which, now that Kathy has an Emmy, you know her winning streak will continue and she'll get that spoken word Grammy nomination she's yearning for. As long as Maya Angelou, Bill Clinton and especially Oprah aren't in the running. Wouldn't that be oh-so-Oprah to get a Grammy nomination over Kathy? Or what if they both get nominated but Oprah wins? Kathy would be mortified.
— I think I kind of agree with Jessica that Tom's brother Bill, the St. Louis cop, is "a complete nut job," especially with his obsession with wanting to beat Tom up. But Jessica got to live out her gun-shooting fantasies with Bill's help. Two of the funniest parts occurred during the shooting range scene. First, Kathy cracked me up with her comment that shooting a gun was so frighteningly powerful that she almost broke her current nose (she wouldn't care if it was her original nose). Then when Tom kept shooting his gun over and over and over, Kathy, of course, had to call him a "gun psycho" and say: "You know he's picturing me!"
— During the St. Louis performance, I loved Kathy's Paula Abdul diss. Kathy insisted Paula didn't do her own singing on her recent single, predicting that maybe it was the one surviving member of Milli Vanilli who was the vocalist. Plus, Kathy had to make fun of Paula’s Super Bowl outfit: "When you're crazy, you shouldn't dress like the Mad Hatter."
— That bizarro party in Tracy solidified Kathy's insistence that she's a D-lister, at least this week, especially because of the chicken that was running around as if its head was cut off. Kathy: "The chicken took a crap on my shoes!" Her reactions outside the party were hilarious: "Did you hear a gun?" Then we heard a horse nay. Kathy wanted out of there pronto: "That was like Nam, but harder."
— After Tiffany and gang were doing "blow job" shots, Kathy felt she had to clarify: "Mine are more old school...with a guy and a, you know, penis."
— Kathy's description of how it would be if Maggie joined forces with grandma Milly: "She and my mom together would be like Hitler and Mussolini…in an old folk's home."
— Kathy wanting to impress the execs from Twist Records, first referring to them as "mucky mucks" but since they're gay, she changed it to "gucky gucks."
— Kathy's impersonation of billionaire Steve Wozniak's fascination with Men's Warehouse killed me: "Did you know they have a situation there where you can get two suits for $199?"
— Hearing grandma Milly, standing behind the T-shirt stand, say: "Everybody can suck it"? Priceless. That would make me buy a T-shirt.

Thanks for your great comments last week, Kathy fans. Keep 'em coming.

You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

Hey, KGF's (that would be Kathy Griffin Fans, of course)! It has been much too long since I've blogged about my favorite D-lister-who's-actually-a-C-lister's Emmy-winning reality series. This season, Bravo is treating us with nine episodes — nine, according to Bravo's press release, but Kathy's been on the talk show circuit (or at least the few shows she's not banned from) bragging about this season's "ten episodes" so maybe Kathy knows something that Bravo doesn't? Either way, I was very excited to catch up with the person who I think is the funniest person on the planet, even though I refuse to believe she is still a D-lister. I mean, how many D-listers get to co-host CNN's New Year's Eve live 90 minute countdown with Anderson Cooper?

The season premiere of the 4th season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List began with a bang, or at least some New Year's Eve fireworks, as Kathy got the absolutely A-list gig of being Anderson Cooper's live co-host. Since Kathy knew CNN didn't hire her because she was a "hard-hitting journalist," you could tell she was a bit nervous, especially since CNN didn't have a 7-second delay button. You could also tell right away that Anderson was a Kathy fan — he couldn't keep a straight face with her, on or off camera, and no matter how racy or rude Kathy got, Anderson just laughed on (which made me respect him even more than I already do). He didn't seem to mind that Kathy kept calling him "Andy" but Kathy's assistant Jessica made a mistake by playing assistant #2 Tiffany's drinking game and losing. Since Team Griffin had to take a shot every time Kathy called Anderson "Andy," Jessica, much more of a light-weight than Tiffany and tour manager Tom (who skipped the game), lost big-time and got the most inebriated. Drunk Jessica repeatedly saying "Five shots too many!" and taking a nap/passing out in the elevator was a riot.

Other highlights:
— As I've mentioned in the past, Kathy's mom Maggie reminds me of an older version of my own mother Joan, especially since Maggie thinks that Anderson Cooper is "just darling" (Joan, calls everything "just darling"). Another similarity: Maggie used another Joan term when describing Anderson later: "He's such a doll!"
— Maggie cracked me up when she begged Kathy to play nice and not be sacrilegious while co-hosting with Anderson: "Nothing religious, please!" A classic Kathy comeback: "I don't apologize, mother. That's why I'm special."
— You knew Kathy and Apple co-founder/billionaire genius Steve Wozniak wouldn't exactly be a match made in heaven, but Kathy certainly was able to take advantage of his notoriety, wealth and influence by walking the red carpet with him. Michael Moore didn't seem to care who Kathy was, as long as he got to meet "the Woz."
— Going up against Planet Earth at the Producer's Guild Awards, Kathy felt she had no chance since Oprah put her "Oprah stamp of approval" on it, including it as part of "Oprah's Favorite Things." Kathy: "I'm going to do a show called Uranus and it's about your butt. There! Where's my award?" No one else, and I mean no one, has the guts and the audacity to talk sh-t about Oprah on national television like Kathy. And that's reason #73.4 as to why I love me some Kathy!
— Watching Maggie meet Steve was hilarious, with Maggie asking him to curb his enthusiasm about computer advancement: "You guys need to stop. Computers are running our lives!" Kathy thought Maggie would be more impressed if Steve invented wine. Earlier, when Kathy watched Maggie drink wine poured from a bottle rather than a box, I loved Kathy's "Look at you!" Even better was when Kathy was jokingly choosing between Steve and Maggie if Maggie screwed up during their meet-n-greet: "Money talks and Maggie walks."
— When Planet Earth ended up winning, Kathy blamed it on Oprah: "Oprah f---ed me again!" Later, Kathy once again stressed her displeasure: "I'm moving to Pluto! That's how much I hate the Planet Earth now! And Woz will build a spaceship in his garage."
— Funniest moment for sure was when Kathy was in the process of presenting an award and there was a loud gunshot-like sound and Kathy instantly pretended to be shot down after insulting Oprah. In a floor-length gown, she fell to the floor, making everyone at the awards laugh hysterically: "My dying words: Don't...ever...make...an...Oprah...joke..." Brilliant.
— It was already funny hearing Kathy diss American Idol producer Simon Fuller since he was getting the Visionary Award: "Simon Fuller should get the 'Made A Lot Of Money For Reinventing Star Search' award, but visionary? Visionary?"

Next week, the show moves to its regular time: Thursdays at 10pm ET.

OK, Kathy fans. Let me know what you thought of the season premiere. You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

This season finale was the perfect way to end the much too brief third season. Yes, we got one more episode this season than last, but Bravo, throw us a bone next season — how about twice as many episodes? Kathy brings in both the ratings and the Emmy nominations, so I think this D-lister-that's-actually-a-C-lister deserves a longer season, don't you?

The promos indicated that Kathy would head to Ireland with her father's ashes. But so much else occurred before the poignant ending, so there were jam-packed highlights galore:

— What's a Kathy episode without at least one Oprah diss? Would anyone else on this planet have the guts to say on national television things like: "Oprah thinks she's Jesus"? Nothing's funnier than Kathy-as-Oprah-as-Jesus getting a paper cut (holding her hand out): "Stigmata?" Oops. I'm wrong — there was something funnier. Kathy saying "I don't have the mansion in Montecito that she does. I don't have the hot girlfriend. But I can give." I had to rewind my TiVo to make sure she actually said that. She did. And me? I screamed: "Shut up!"
— Oprah, of course, inspired Kathy to become the "red-headed Oprah" and give away $10,000 worth of her own cash to women in L.A. that she felt needed the financial assistance. I was glad some of the women actually accepted the cash.
— One of the funniest moments was that writer Sandra from Star magazine continually referring to Kathy as "Kathy Lee" and that she went and purchased a disposable camera to take the photos. Oprah, per Kathy, would've had a whole camera crew from Star there, plus "Mariah Carey would be off somewhere singing."
— Kathy can't be too D-list if she was honored in the same group of Hot 100 Irish Americans as Hillary Clinton. Were we surprised that Hillary didn't quite acknowledge Kathy when she got out of her security-protected limo? Kathy physically inserting herself into the Hillary paparazzi shots was classic Kathy, especially when she crossed right in front of one of Hillary's shots. Kathy, after not being Hillary-acknowledged: "I'm feeling alone and frightened and I wish that she would hold me."
— Another great line of Kathy's was after one of the bagpipers overheard the New York gay fan scream at Kathy and then repeated: "The gays adore you?" Kathy: "I'm like Cher. Almost. I'm like Cher Lite."
— Style guru Robert Verdi knew it would be a challenge to get designers to give Kathy discounts or freebies. No one seemed to want to step up to the plate and give her the "Sharon Stone discount." Kathy, after sneezing loudly at one of the expensive shops: "I'm allergic to paying full price!" Robert got smart and took Kathy shopping at Loehmann's.
— How about that date with rocker/motivational speaker Andrew W.K.? Or more importantly, how about the stoned dude Kathy had to sit next to during Andrew's "performance art"? Kathy: "That's what I call it when I don't know what the f--- it is!" Kathy's facial expressions during that entire excursion were priceless.
— Who knew that Kathy's mom, Maggie, was the youngest of 16 children? Well, we sure know now. Loved the animated name tags each time she rattled off all those sibling names. Or almost all of them. I wish Maggie could've taken the trip to Dublin with Kathy and Team Griffin.
— I figured Kathy's first time in Ireland would include a trip to the Irish gay bars. Too bad her gay bingo experience ended up being such a drag.
— After an hour of mostly hilarious moments, it was nice to finish it off with the tribute to her father John, first at Johnny Fox's Pub, where Kathy bought all people with the last name Griffin a pint of beer for a toast and then the throwing of the ashes at his favorite park. I hope Team Griffin speaks up more next season, especially the oh-so-quiet Tiffany.
— Did you catch the additional Kathy footage shown during the preview of Bravo's new Flipping Out show? Why did I know the Internet-elected winner of Kathy's contest to find her a date to get her off the D-list would be Sanjaya? Ugh! I couldn't decide if I was happy or sad that Kathy had to hire a Sanjaya look-alike because she couldn't get the real thing. Kathy having to talk to Sanjaya's manager, or "manajaya" as Kathy put it, cracked me up.

As we conclude another season of delicious Kathy craziness, let me repeat my request to Bravo. Please give us a fourth season and make it a longer one. And by longer, I don't mean eight episodes. Oh, and change the name to "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the C-List." Thanks.

You can watch more Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.

As I expected, Kathy's trip to the U.K. was a nonstop laugh fest. Didn't it seem like there were more scenes with Kathy narrating than usual? The more the merrier, I say. I love when Kathy gets tips from experts in the field of wherever she is heading, and this time she got advice from some of today's best British comedy whizzes. Could Ricky Gervais have looked any more uncomfortable? You could tell he wanted to play the politically correct card, especially when he freaked out that Kathy was dissing Oprah ("the most powerful woman in the world"). You knew Kathy was in the wrong place when Ricky mentioned how he wasn't a fan of media whores (as Kathy looked at the camera and pointed to herself). You've got to give Ricky credit for being a sport. Luckily, Kathy was able to make Ricky legitimately laugh a few times.

Graham Norton seemed like he was having more fun with Kathy than Ricky. She certainly chose the right Pied Piper to walk through the gay-populated Old Compton: "Just being with Graham Norton created quite a gay-sation!" Kathy sure knows how to wheel them in. But I was surprised to see how small the venue at which the U.K. E! channel had her perform was, as was Kathy, calling it a "beautiful garage" and a basement. Kathy had an excellent point about how ironic it was that E! in the U.K. bought the rights to the first two seasons of her show (plus two of her stand-up specials), but E! "fired" her here in Hollywood, no doubt because of her history of Seacrest comments. That was one of the funniest moments: her demanding they remove his photo (he wears "more makeup than me and I'm a girl").

Other highlights:

— Kathy's oh-so-true remarks about Madonna's ever-increasing British accent and her British-Madonna impersonation, comparing her to "f---ing Oliver Twist." Madge, I love ya. But you're from Michigan.
— First The View earlier this week, now Kathy's show. Seems as though the best remedy to get Perez Hilton to write nice things about you is to invite him on your show. Kathy learned her lesson to never again forget to invite Perez to her annual holiday party — anything to avoid another "bitchy queen fight."
— When Perez falsely accused Kathy of staging the fans at their lunch, Kathy's narration line was brilliant: "I'm semifamous. When are people going to get it?"
— Luckily Mo Gaffney was able to convince Kathy that she'd have receptive audiences in London after having her on her radio show "Women Aloud." After the blow-by-blow from Mo, Kathy was able to sum up her British audience: "A bunch of heterosexual people with a British accent who have bad teeth" that "laugh like gay people."
— Kathy's high tea with "U.K. funny lady" Julia Morris produced one of Kathy's best lines. After she saw the tray on the table filled with fancy things like cucumber sandwiches: "I'm not gonna take a crap for a week. There's no roughage here."
— Kathy's "date" with Chucky Venice from Footballers' Wives contained two more of the very funniest lines. First, when she pretended to be drunk for the paparazzi and fell, but was comforted by the "good samaritan" woman that helped her up: "It almost screwed me out of the picture — her with her help!" Then, my favorite line was after she admitted to really being into Chucky: "If I didn't have my press junket tomorrow, I'd have a junket in his pants. And I'd answer every question." Followed by that look to the camera that I live for!
— What a challenge it was for Kathy to avoid saying any of the long list of unacceptable words and phrases (most of which she had never heard of).
— Another challenge was appearing on the U.K. show Loose Women, which Kathy first referred to as "Chicks Who Don't Get Me." All it took was a good Posh Spice dig and the women Kathy called "tougher than The View" ate her up.

See you next week for the season finale. In the meantime, Kathy fans, feel free to chime in about your favorite parts.

You can watch Kathy Griffin videos in our Online Video Guide.