Two and a Half Men

Like two little kids in a candy store, Alan and Charlie could not be more giddy over the idea of Teddy (Robert Wagner), becoming their new daddy. Only it wasn't the lure of candy that had these two giggling with excitement. It was more about the "toys" they would get to play with, such as a limo, a private plane, a penthouse suite and ringside tickets to a boxing match in Vegas.

However, the trip to Sin City did serve a larger purpose. Teddy had plans of popping the question to Evelyn, and he wanted Charlie and Alan's blessing to move forward with the proposal. Somewhere between the gelato and the prostitutes, the guys managed to give him their enthusiastic approval. Should they have been at all concerned that Teddy lied to their mother about their little outing, branding it as a business trip? Nah, if anything, I think that indiscretion only scored Teddy more points with them. Besides, they had a wedding to plan now!

The funniest and most shocking point of the night came when Charlie was caught in what appeared to be a dirty little moment: perusing a bridal magazine on the living room sofa. Not to be outdone, Alan uncovered his own secret stash of wedding periodicals, and soon the two of them were blissfully planning a Polynesian ceremony on the beach with tiki torches. It did sound beautiful. Too bad Evelyn had to go and ruin it by rejecting Teddy's proposal.

In a last ditch effort to change their mom's mind, Charlie and Alan set out to convince her to rethink the decision. All I can say is, Evelyn sure does move on quickly. But if I had to choose between Teddy and his small package and her new boy-toy, Hugo (Mike Connors), I'd choose Teddy in a heartbeat. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you see it), fate stepped in and paved the way for a reconciliation between Teddy and Evelyn. With Hugo's timely expiration on Evelyn's couch, it suddenly became clear to her that "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

Some of the best lines of the night:

— Charlie, letting Alan know that he wasn't concerned that there might be something wrong with their mom the first time Teddy called: "We'll just wait for Dorothy to bring us the broom."

— Alan, taunting Charlie about his conversation with Teddy on the phone: "You're going to be sorry." Then Charlie responding by saying: "You're going to be homeless."

— Alan, referring to the guy sitting next to him at the boxing match: "I think that might be that snoopy fellow."

— Teddy, referring to the brief boxing match they just watched: "... an 18-second fight. It takes me longer to start peeing."

That'll do it for this season! My thanks to everyone who joined me on this blog and shared their thoughts; it was much appreciated. Have a great summer!!!

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Why do I suddenly feel the need to have some work done on my front porch? It's probably just because Fernando (Enrique Iglesias) did such an awesome job on Charlie's deck, before he got fired. Yeah, that's probably the reason. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Enrique, I mean, Fernando, is extremely easy on the eyes. All joking aside, though, I think Enrique did a great job of portraying Charlie's handyman tonight. His comic timing was flawless, and getting to hear him sing was just icing on the cake.

This week, Charlie found himself competing with the younger version of himself when Fernando arrived and sent all of the women around him into a tailspin. Even Berta was bitten by the smitten bug when she laid eyes on the hunky handyman. In fact, Berta was so set on giving Fernando more work that she broke a kitchen cabinet just to give him another reason to stay. I think I would have done the same thing.

However, it was Chloe's (Rachel Cannon) sudden interest in Fernando that really sent Charlie reeling into what could be branded as a midlife crisis. Even though Charlie was trying to avoid Chloe earlier in the night by feigning an illness, the thought of losing her to another man proved to be too much for his pride. So Charlie set out to reinvent himself by doing some serious tanning, donning younger threads and bleaching his teeth to a brilliant white. The end result was comedic bliss! While Charlie did come off looking a little ridiculous, he also managed to win his girl back. Sure, he resorted to "buying" her affections by offering to take her shopping for expensive jewelry, but there was a certain charm to the lengths he went to in order to win her back. And yes, I’m choosing to ignore the fact that this was more about Charlie's desire to outdo Fernando than about reclaiming the true affections of Chloe.

Some of the best lines of the night:

— Berta, searching for any reason to spend time on the deck with Fernando: "He looks parched. I'll take him some rum."

— Alan, attempting to help Charlie concoct his fake illness: "Are you bedridden or ambulatory?"

— Alan, explaining to Jake why "school sucks": "That's because you go year-round!"

— Fernando, accepting soup from Chloe: "It nourishes my body as it nourishes my soul." (Yum!)

— Charlie, commenting on Fernando's work while searching for a reason to fire him: "Wood doesn't grow on trees."

— Alan, after Charlie took a tumble over the back deck (again): "Hey, I can see your teeth from up here!"

Find video from Two and a Half Men in our Online Video Guide.

I'm impressed. This week, Charlie took Jake to the racetrack and the youngest Harper managed to win more than $1,000, with a bet on a horse that had 80-to-1 odds! I went to the racetrack this past Sunday (purely for research purposes, of course), methodically studied the stats of each horse and jockey, contemplated track conditions and other various factors... and after five races, let's just say I'm no closer to buying that new car I've had my eyes on! Further driving home the point that I have no business being at a racetrack, I caught a glimpse of a beautiful Aston Martin on my way out of the parking lot. It's just not fair.

Joining me in the bad-luck club was Alan, who managed to spend his entire Saturday at the DMV, despite having made an appointment. Feeling sorry for his fellow neighbors who had a much longer wait ahead of them, Alan not only gave away his snack bar, but he ultimately fell victim to the charms of a beautiful woman, who managed to swindle Alan out of his prime space in line.

Making matters worse, Alan finally arrived home after his long day and caught Jake playing in a bed of money. Ironically, before that moment, Alan seemed OK with the fact that Jake had not spent his afternoon working on his book report. Of course, that was back when he thought Jake had spent the day accompanying Charlie as he ran errands. However, Jake did still manage to learn a valuable lesson that day: Don't buy a motor bike off the back of someone's truck before testing it out... or after telling them how much money you have in your pockets. Yes, that's a valuable lesson indeed.

In the end, it would appear that both Jake and Alan got hustled last night, and Charlie didn't seem to fare much better. In fact, somewhere in TV land, he's probably still working on that credit-card jingle.

After meeting Greg (Matt Roth), Alan's gay friend from his single-parent support group, Charlie began to question his own sexual identity. Might Charlie be gay, too? As he began to wonder, Alan gave him reason to think he might be: "You're 40 years old, never married and you play the piano." Charlie also found himself on the defense when Alan suggested that all of the special moisturizers and hair gels he keeps might be indicative of something more than a desire to look good. Charlie's response: "Excuse me for not wanting to spend my fifties looking like a catcher's mitt."

While Charlie did some soul-searching with his therapist, Alan found himself being congratulated by everyone from Berta to Judith for finally "coming out." Even Jake thought his dad was dating Greg. Once Judith suggested that Alan was now "glowing" because of his new relationship, he began to wonder if everyone might be onto something. Suddenly, Alan found himself thinking this could be the reason he's had so many failed female relationships.

As Charlie and Alan set out to determine their preferences, Jake was busy getting his groove on with Sophie (Kay Panabaker), Greg's daughter. Well, as much as a boy of Jake's age could get his groove on. When Sophie suggested that Jake taste her lip gloss and he opted to swipe his finger over her lips instead of kissing her, it was pretty clear that Jake still needs to work on his moves.

In the end, Alan decided to give kissing Greg a shot to find out once and for all if he really was gay. At this point, Greg pretty much put Alan's questions to rest by telling him he was not gay and by rejecting his advances. Greg also took the opportunity to let Alan know that he thought Charlie was "pretty." Sibling rivalry ignited and Alan ended up leaving the scene in a jealous huff.

Next week's episode marks Jon Cryer's directorial debut.

Tonight's episode truly marked a milestone for our favorite Harper men. Not only did it bring an end to Alan's days of alimony, but it also gave Charlie a taste of what it's like to be on the receiving end of "a meaningless fling." As for Jake, well, it proved to be a messy night for him, too.

First, let's talk about Myra (Judy Greer). I really hope this isn't the last we see of her. She and Charlie had a good, albeit brief relationship, and it was rather enjoyable to watch Charlie fall into a more vulnerable role for once. Part of me wonders if that wasn't a case of Charlie wanting something he couldn't have, or if he really did think he'd found his match. Regardless of the reason, their time together did make for some great dialogue. In one of their funnier exchanges, Charlie revealed his secrets on how he manages to get a woman out of his bed. According to him, if he's only interested in seeing the woman leave for the day, he'll tell her, "I have to see a dermatologist about a rash." If he's trying to scare a woman off for the long term, he tells her: "It turns out it wasn't just a rash." Ultimately though, it was Myra who had the best line of the night, when she informed Charlie that she had a fiancé.

Meanwhile, Alan was busy preparing Jake for his role in the wedding. Unfortunately for him, Jake decided to wear his tux every time he had a meal or a snack, which meant Alan spent the majority of his time just trying to keep Jake clean. In fact, even though Judith's wedding was really a joyous occasion for Alan, it also proved to be a very stressful time. When Herb's (Ryan Stiles) ex cornered him in a coatroom at the church and proceeded to make it sound like they were having loud relations during the ceremony, I really thought Judith was going to call the wedding off. Thankfully, she didn't, but I’m pretty sure Alan's not off the hook yet.

In the end, Myra boarded a plane and went back home, and Alan found himself drinking alone in the dark. Although, when Charlie and Jake found him, he was quick to point out that it "wasn't dark when I started." Yep, I'd say Alan's got a lot of apologizing to do to Judith in the weeks ahead, but at least he doesn’t have to pay alimony anymore!

Judith's wedding is quickly approaching and Alan couldn't be happier. Not only does it mean he has written his final alimony check, but now he can finally contribute to the bills at Charlie's place. Well, that's what Charlie was hoping. According to his brother, what this actually means is "Alan gets new underwear."

As the guys arrive at Judith's place to hand-deliver a supersized check, we find that tension has been building between the soon-to-be newlyweds. While one might see this and think Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Judith should call of the wedding, others might call this pre-wedding jitters. Either way, part of the tension could be attributed to Herb's visiting sister, Myra (Judy Greer), who is staying at Judith's place until the ceremony. It becomes pretty clear that Myra and Judith are not hitting it off when Myra enters the scene wearing a brown bridesmaid's gown and refers to it as a "satin stool sample." Not exactly magic to a bride's ears, if you know what I mean.

In an attempt to help smooth things over at Judith's, Alan suggests that Myra join the Harper guys for a night out at the movies. Shortly after arriving at the theater, Myra and Charlie find themselves bonding in the lobby over a soda and mini bottles of liquor. It's obvious that the two are hitting it off, so it's no surprise when they end up making out at the end of the night.

The following evening, Charlie finds himself on a date with a beautiful woman who clearly lacks substance. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem for Charlie, but he suddenly has a change of heart and decides he would rather be intellectually stimulated by someone like Myra. So, in one of the funnier scenes of the night, Charlie pulls his car up to the restaurant door, waits for his date to exit the vehicle and then he peels off like a madman, leaving her standing there alone with thoughts of "fresh lobster." Truly a priceless moment.

Charlie then finds himself at "Judith's house of pain," as Myra so eloquently labeled it the previous day. This time, though, Charlie suggests that Myra should leave Judith's and shack up at his place instead. After some convincing, Myra eventually agrees and, as we soon see, she ends up in Charlie's bed.

After so many repeats in the last few weeks, this episode was really refreshing, and as a two-parter, I'm glad to know we'll get to see more of Myra next week. It seems like she and Charlie do make a good match, and I can't wait to see if Judith and Herb really do make it to the altar.

Tonight's episode was definitely one of my favorites. I loved being able to see what Charlie, Alan and Jake might look like in 2036. I also found it funny that a box of Milk Duds at the movie theater will cost us $25 in the future. Somehow, I think that estimate may not be far off, but let's meet back here in 29 years and see, shall we?

Getting back to the present day, we find Alan is still being as frugal as ever. His ability to dodge a bill is almost an art form. In the first scene alone, Alan managed to score a free night at the movies for him and Jake. That night ended up costing Charlie over 80 bucks, but as we soon learned, that's the last time Charlie was going to let Alan use his excuses to bail on a bill.

Fast-forward to the night of Charlie and Alan's double date. Things seemed to be going really well, and Alan's date even suggested that after dinner they should "go absolutely crazy tonight." Yes, it seemed as though the night contained a lot of promise, until the check came. Once again, Alan tried to sneak his way out of paying, but this time Charlie was ready for him. As Alan made a beeline for the bathroom, Charlie was quick to follow. What ensues can only be described as a series of equally awkward and entertaining moments. I think it's safe to say that Alan utilized every possible stalling tactic one could find in a restroom, and Charlie mimicked his every move. The end result? While the brothers were busy playing their game of who could last the longest in the bathroom, their dates left with Geraldo Rivera.

Meanwhile, back at the house... Jake is home alone and without a babysitter for the first time. He makes the most of his night by watching a horror movie (something one should never do at any age). Lucky for Jake though, Rose shows up and the two of them face the cinematic horrors together.

And in the end, Charlie does manage to get even with Alan when he finds his secret stash of money hidden inside the base of a lamp. I will say, it was fun watching Alan panic as he tore apart his drawers searching for the missing dough, but then I felt bad for him when he told Charlie he was putting the money aside for "old Alan." However, that sympathy soon faded when Alan treated himself to a new plasma TV. Sure, he said it was originally intended as a gift for Charlie, but I think we all know better.

Which brings us to the final scene of the night and the future look at the Harper men in 2036. I really enjoyed this glance into the future and I hope Chuck Lorre and the gang allow us another peek, somewhere down the road.

In tonight's repeat episode, Sara Rue provided some maternal glow at the Harper house. Who knew pregnant women were such a turn-on for Alan? Well, I guess most of us already did, since this show originally aired in October, but it was still fun to watch the second time around.

In fact, the entire first scene tonight was golden. When Naomi (Rue) arrived on the Harper doorstep, Alan naturally assumed that she was one of his brother's former flames and even went so far as to brand her Charlie's "karma." The first time I saw this episode, I really thought it was possible that Charlie was the baby's daddy, but Naomi was quick to put an end to that assumption. Once she told Charlie they had never met before, it was pretty clear he was off the hook.

Alan, on the other hand, seemed pretty smitten with Naomi, which Charlie just didn't seem to understand: "Once there's a bun in the oven, I don't feel the need to butter it." Alan then felt the need to defend himself by saying, "I find pregnant women very erotic!" Unfortunately, Jake happened to overhear most of that conversation, which made for a super-awkward and equally comical moment.

One scene I didn't expect to see in this episode was Berta crying in Charlie's bathroom. Normally a no-nonsense kind of woman, it was unusual to see Berta in tears. Though her tough side quickly resurfaced, when she went to find Ronald Wiedermeier (Andy Mackenzie), the suspected father of Naomi's baby. I'm still not sure how Berta managed to squeeze $5,000 out of Ronald that night, but it did bring me joy to see how happy Charlie was that he was able to score tube socks, a corn dog and some DVDs for just $8.

It was also sweet (and sometimes scary) to watch Alan dote on Naomi. Whether he was doing her job and ironing clothes for her, or rubbing her belly with vitamin E, he did seem genuinely concerned for her well-being. Which I guess you could say provided a good foundation for Alan and Naomi to start dating in a future episode.

Well, one more repeat is on the agenda for next week and then we have a fresh new episode on tap. Until then, have a great week.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the last time we saw Kandi and Alan together, weren’t they fighting over who would get to keep the dog? Now, a few repeats later, we find Alan not only lending Kandi his lab coat for her audition, but he’s also reading lines to help her prepare! I’m so confused. Weren’t these two supposed to be at odds? I guess this just further helps to illustrate how much of a hold she still has on Alan, despite their divorce.

Aside from the unusualness of the situation, it was great to see Kandi back in action. I was also very impressed with her ability to correctly pronounce all of those medical terms tonight. Well, aside from fur-nus-ic, that is. It was also hard to tell if Kandi was auditioning for a cop show or an adult-film project, especially with a show title like "Stiffs." At any rate, the Harper men certainly seemed to enjoy watching her rehearse in their living room.

Speaking of adult content, this week Jake seemed to be showing a lot more interest in scantily clad women, via the new posters he was busy nailing onto the walls. Can't say I blame him for taking down his Harry Potter posters, though; he was probably just reacting to the news that Emma Watson is trying to bail on the last two films in the series. OK, so that's probably not the real reason he did it, but I did just read that news on our website and I couldn't help but make the reference.

Anyway... tonight turned out to be a really rough night for Alan. Realizing that Jake was growing up fast, Alan was suddenly starting to feel like he and his boy were running out of valuable time to engage in "father-son stuff." So, in a noble attempt to spend more time together, Alan planned a camping trip for him and Jake. Had it not been for the torrential downpour, the inadequate tent they had, and their shared discomfort in relieving themselves in a coffee can, they might have had a good time. Unfortunately, that just wasn't the case.

So, after one bad trip with Jake, what does Alan think of doing next? Having another kid with Kandi. Now, who could have guessed that was the "big reason" they split in the first place? As we learned tonight, it wasn't the little things that broke them up, like the way Alan's toenails grew or his ear hair.... No, it was the fact that Kandi wanted to have a baby and Alan didn't. More surprising than that was Kandi's willingness to procreate with Alan, when he presented her with the idea. Of course, that was all before she got the call from her agent telling her she had landed the part on "Stiffs." Suddenly, the divorce papers reappeared and in one quick stroke of the pen, Alan and Kandi were kaput.

Now, as bad as I felt for Alan, I still couldn't help but think... is this really the last time we'll get to see Kandi?

So has Charlie finally met his match with the stunning and sharp-tongued Lydia (Katherine LaNasa)? Might this dynamic duo settle down in wedded bliss? Could this be the beginning of a new future for Two and a Half Men? Well, since this is a repeat, I guess we already know the answers to those questions, but it was fun to watch these two spar nonetheless.

I can't believe how long it took Charlie to realize how similar Lydia was to his mother. First, there were the obvious clues. Both women were in real estate, had similar wardrobes and drove similar cars. Then there was the even more obvious, hit-you-on-the-head and poke-you-in-the-eye clue: the condescending attitude they both shared. I guess love really is blind to miss that much.

What I liked about this episode was that it also gave Jake time to shine. When he wasn't angelically reacting to Lydia's snide remarks about how kids must make fun of him: "You said they were laughing with me," he was having a blast pretending he had boobs: "Hello, big boy." I think even Angus T. Jones got a kick out of that bit and had a hard time hiding his own amusement with those lines.

The restaurant scene made me squirm. I can't imagine ever talking to a waiter the way Lydia did. Not unless you don't mind getting your food with a little spit in it, and that's probably the lesser of the many evils you could face.

By far, the best scene of the night was the face-off between Lydia and Evelyn. It was fun to watch these two share a battle of the wits, though by my tally, Evelyn definitely won. Evelyn started things off with this gem: "So, Lydia, what do you do? I mean, besides my son." Then she ended her rant by suggesting that Lydia uses cheap makeup and that she ought to apply some more before leaving the house.

Then came Rose (remember Rose?), with a gift for Charlie, in the form of a book called Oedipus Rex. Unfortunately, it seemed the irony of the situation was lost on Charlie, since he was still insisting that "Lydia is nothing like my mother."

How quickly things can change, though. The very next day Charlie got to meet Lydia's two boys, who appeared very much like one might imagine Alan and Charlie would have looked like at that age. All Charlie needed was to hear Lydia insult her sons, before it all finally hit him like a ton of bricks. Lydia was indeed his mom. Well, you know what I mean... not exactly his mom, but close enough.

Even though this week’s episode was a repeat, I thought we ought to blog about it anyway. After all, this blog is still new and the last time this episode aired it was October, so it’s almost like watching it again for the first time (or so we can pretend).

In tonight's episode, Judith revealed to Alan that she was getting hitched again. I really thought Alan seemed genuinely disappointed and glum over the news. In part, perhaps, because the ink still hadn't dried on the legal papers for his second divorce. Yet, as soon as he closed the front door, Alan was all smiles and did his little dance and sang: "No more alimony! No more alimony!" I have to admit, watching Alan shimmy to a conga beat was definitely a highlight in this episode. Not as classic as Elaine's dance on Seinfeld, but it had that kind of potential.

Speaking of divorce, let's talk about Kandi. I’m still disappointed that Alan and Kandi weren’t able to last a little longer. There were so many comedic possibilities with that union! Surely that story line could have lasted at least half of this season. Fortunately, I happen to know we have not seen the last of Kandi. But all I can say for now is, stay tuned for a new episode in two weeks.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. The focus tonight was really on Jake and his obvious distaste at the thought of his mom marrying his pediatrician. Then there's Alan, who so desperately wants Judith to remarry (so that he no longer has to pay alimony) that he's ready to resort to bribery to make Jake accept Herb. By far, one of the funniest scenes in tonight's episode took place in the car, when Charlie and Alan were driving Jake back to his mom's. The whole time, Alan kept trying to knock some "sense" into Jake, by telling him things like, "You can do better than me," and "he can buy better presents than I can." Alan even stoops so low as to say, "There's nothing that says you can't call him dad and me Alan. We'll still know who's who."

After a financial arrangement is made (who says "love don't cost a thing"?), Jake turns on the charm for Herb and everything seems to be in place for a happy ending. Yep, if only the night had ended there, before the impromptu bachelor party, the strippers and the video-taped evidence that Judith eventually finds. Ah, well. Judith didn't seem that mad. Did she?

Other highlights:

— Charlie trying to convince Jake that he can't live at his place: "Drop in unannounced on a Wednesday, and you'll be scarred for life."
— Alan trying to bribe Jake: "Now I’m going to write down some figures here, and you tell me to stop when you see the number that makes you feel a little warmer toward Dr. Melnick."
— Charlie to Herb: "We paid him to like you... and it cost less than you might think."
— Alan to Charlie, upon Charlie's suggestion that they leave the unconscious Herb on the front porch of Judith's house and run: "He's not a bag of flaming dog poo."

Have a good week, everyone....

Is it just me or was it funny to hear Evelyn tell Charlie not to be glib, just three weeks after Brooke Shields made a guest appearance on the show? I know, I'm probably reading too much into things and it's all just one big coincidence, but it does have me wondering if there's something more going on here. Would it be too much to hope for a guest appearance by Tom Cruise in the season finale? Yeah, it probably would.

S, this week Evelyn “gets new people,” or so it would seem, after Alan and Charlie decide to get honest and tell her how manipulative and narcissistic she is and that no one would cry at her funeral. Ouch!!! I think the guys went a little overboard with the tough-love bit. Especially when Alan said, "I don't know anyone who enjoys spending time with you." It's no wonder she went out and found two and a half other men to call family. And kudos to the casting agent who picked Wayne Wilderson to play the part of Roger. Wayne had a brief stint on The Office this season and even though he only appeared in a few episodes, I was reminded tonight of how much I miss him on that show. Someone needs to give this man his own series!

OK, back to Men.... How cute was Jake tonight, with his hip MTV lingo? I loved it when Berta referred to him as "MC Skid Mark" and then told him that he had left something else in his pants, referring, of course, to a birthday card. Funnier still was the dynamic between Jake and Changpu. These two kids could not be more different. While Jake spends time playing video games, Changpu is busy composing music on his cello. Yet, in the end, Jake and Changpu find themselves rocking out to to a Deep Purple song together.

I also enjoyed watching both Charlie and Alan try to make up with their mom, in their own separate ways. Charlie with his laid-back approach, "That whole thing about you needing to change, that's Alan's deal. Yeah, the whole thing I love about our relationship is that you don't try to change me, I don't try to change you. We accept each other as, you now, incapable of changing." Meanwhile Alan opted for a more kiss-up approach by making Evelyn breakfast and telling her repeatedly, "I love you, Mommy." I guess we can assume that Evelyn ends up forgiving them both, even though she showed up for the family portrait with her "new people" in tow.

All in all, it was another night of family fun with the Harpers and their new, extended family. Next week's episode is a repeat, but let's blog about it anyway. See you then....

"Why no sequel to Ferris Bueller?"

I loved that Alan tried to pass himself off as Matthew Broderick more than once tonight. First, it was in hopes of gaining entry to a super-prestigious nightclub, then it was to help get the attention of a doctor in a hospital. His first attempt didn't go so well, but it did get me thinking that there are some physical similarities between Cryer and Broderick. They both appear to be around the same age, height and build, and they both have short, dark hair. I could see how someone might mistake the two, perhaps in a poorly lit room.

But let's get back to the matter at hand. Tonight, Charlie really starts to feel old, from the weird stuff he keeps hacking up to his inability to keep up with his 24-year-old companion. It's amazing what a little trip to the ER can do to a person's life. For Charlie, it was an awakening. Suddenly, he began rethinking his lifestyle as he came to the realization that, "Wherever I go, I’m the oldest guy in the room."

Fortunately, Alan was able to show Charlie the way... straight to a sophisticated cocktail lounge, where the stunning Morgan Fairchild was quick to refer to Charlie as "young stuff." And just like that, Charlie's vitality was restored.

Sure, it didn't take long for Charlie to bounce back from his fountain-of-youth crisis, but there were certainly some fun exchanges along the way. One of my favorite scenes was between Berta and Jake at the beginning of tonight’s show. Jake was eating his morning cereal, trying to get a lifeless Charlie to respond to him, while a concerned Berta suggested that Jake “shouldn’t see him like this” and placed a towel on Charlie’s head. “There. Now you can enjoy your breakfast.”

Even the moments that made me cringe also made me laugh. For example, when Alan took it upon himself to educate his date about the harmful effects of ecstasy on her spinal fluid. Charlie tried desperately to keep Alan from acting like her father, only to have Alan retort that he had to "because her real father has obviously dropped the ball."

Another great moment came courtesy of Alan, just as he and Charlie were about to follow their dates into the club, only to have the bouncer deny them access. As Charlie tried to convince the bouncer ("We're with them"), Alan chimed in by saying, "No, no, we are. Although truth be told, I don't see a long-term relationship in the offing."

Next week, get ready for the return of Evelyn for another episode that promises to be wickedly good.

OK, I know it’s cliché, but sometimes you really don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. However, since this is the week of Valentine’s Day, I guess it’s only appropriate that we got a lesson in love. How strange, though, that this lesson came to us courtesy of Charlie and Rose?

First, major props to Berta for some priceless moments tonight. Especially during her exchange with Charlie on why he never gave Rose more of a chance. His reasoning: “This is a woman who stalked me, who spied on me, who snuck into my house to write her name and address in my underwear.” Funny how Charlie would later use said underwear to track Rose down and beg her to stay, but we’ll get to that later. Now, I have to recount Berta’s priceless response: “Oh, boo-hoo. Somebody cares about Charlie. Nobody ever wrote their name in my underwear. Wait, one time. The Department of Corrections.” Too funny. I wish Berta was my wisecracking maid. Heck, I wish I had a maid, period.

Meanwhile, Alan was left to his own devices to find love, via an Internet dating service. Now, I can’t say I’ve ever tried one of those before, but I’ve heard that some people have a tendency to, let’s say, embellish some personal details. So, I wasn’t surprised to hear that Alan wrote that he likes to “spend quiet weekends puttering around my Malibu beach house,” or that he is a “chiropractor to the stars.” It was funny, though, when Alan’s date arrived and Charlie suggested that Alan was trying to kick him out of his own home. Alan was quick to point out, “Well, no, if you read the profile, it’s my house.”

The scene to follow only got better, as Charlie was forced to pretend he was the “poor brother” in front of Beverly, Alan’s date, played by Allison Janney. It was fun to watch the Harper brothers engage in role reversal, especially when Charlie claimed to be “flat broke again,” forcing Alan to cough up all of his dough to get rid of him for the night.

So, Charlie heads for the bar, where Rose finally tracks him down and tells him that she’s moving to London. Charlie, of course, doesn’t believe her and throws in some good lines about how her family business involves work at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. All the while, Rose tries to explain that she’s leaving because their “relationship isn’t really progressing along the path” she had hoped for.

In the end, Charlie realizes that he really does want Rose to stick around. So, he checks his underwear (for Rose’s address) and finds himself on her doorstep… only, it’s too late. Even grabbing her and kissing her won’t make the furniture magically reappear in her empty house. Instead, Rose heads off to a waiting cab and bids Charlie adieu.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Alan is tied up, literally, in a bustier and red stockings! I definitely didn't expect to see that sight behind Alan's door. Another priceless moment.

So, what did we learn tonight? I need a maid? That's a given. Not all stalkers are bad? No, that can’t be it (I'm trying really hard right now not to make an astronaut joke). No, I think it was Alan who summed up the night best when he said, "Well, we all make mistakes."

The one thing I've always wondered about Charlie is how he manages to afford such a prime piece of real estate when he rarely seems to work. Much like tonight, he often seems to be stumbling home from a late-night escapade, without a care in the world. Rarely do we see him writing jingles anymore. So just how does he manage to keep a home in Malibu, while supporting his brother and his nephew and keeping a maid? I don't know, but I can see why Berta would call him the "luckiest SOB on the planet," even before his new neighbor, played by Brooke Shields, showed up on his doorstep.

For once, though, Charlie was willing to step aside and let his brother try to score with a woman, by encouraging him to go out with Danielle (aka Shields). Though his reasoning may have been a little off, "If I sleep with her, I’m happy for one night. But if I teach my brother to sleep with her, he falls in love, asks her to marry him, moves out, and I’m happy for the rest of my life." Typical Charlie. I have to admit, though: the fact that both Danielle and Alan had a liking for acidophilus milk had me thinking that they might make a good couple. Too bad she turned out to be a "booze hound and a sex freak." I guess this means Alan won't be moving out after all.

One thing I can say for sure, though, is that it was great seeing Brooke back on TV again. She has certainly been keeping busy with appearances on other hit shows, like Nip/Tuck and Law & Order: Criminal Intent. I also have to say that The Blue Lagoon is still one of my favorite films, and if it all works out, I think Brooke will do an awesome job in the upcoming pilot Lipstick Jungle.

Oh, and one last note: how great was that Godfather reference by Charlie when Berta suggested they do away with Alan? "No, no accidents. As long as my mother's alive, nothing happens to Fredo."

Until next time... have a great week, everyone!