Flight of the Conchords

It's hard to believe that 12 weeks ago I was a newbie to Flight of the Conchords and now am a full-fledged fan. Should I get a T-shirt or a cap? The best part about having a first-season finale is that there will be a second season. Here's to next summer!

In Murray's meeting, item No. 1 was Todd. Todd! He's a bongo player that Murray met while on nitrous oxide at the dentist's office. Proud of his decision to increase the size of the band to three, Murray tells a stunned Bret and Jemaine that they can now be a proper band, like the "Police-men". Sensing their resistance, Murray tells the guys to trust him, like the first time he saw them on stage and told them to face the front. And they've never looked back. He also said to give Todd a chance, sort of like the John Lennon song "Give Peace a Chance." Item 2 on Murray’s list was about getting an interview with Rolling Stone, but he wasn’t sure if it was the magazine or the group. (There was a definite "no" from the band.)

Todd has no problem stealing the spotlight from Bret and Jemaine and turning on the charm. Not only does he flirt with Mel, he wants to change the name of the band to Crazy Dogggz. (And wag your tail like you just can't fail.) Murray thinks Todd is as cool as the Pied Piper. And Mel gets goo-goo-eyed when he calls her a hottie. Even Jemaine, after his slap-down fight and a 20-second headlock in the park with Todd, changes his mind and fires Bret. Since he dances when he gets mad, it's at this point Bret does his best Jennifer Beals imitation combined with some funky step aerobics to an instrumental song reminiscent of the music from Flashdance.

In retaliation, Bret wants to start a new band called the Original Flight of the Conchords with his new partner Demetri, who Bret says is a guitboard player. Demetri says he actually plays a keytar — a combo keyboard and guitar. Jemaine looks like he's going to puke at the thought of this. But he doesn't have to worry for long because Todd announces that he and Demetri are going to break off and tour as the Crazy Dogggz. And it pays off as their hit song and video "The Doggie Bounce" is No. 1 on the music charts in 24 countries. (Jemaine never could master the arf-arfs!)

Now our dynamic duo is back together but their groove may be changing. When they see Mel on the street, she is listening to "The Doggie Bounce" on her headphones and starts to walk on by. And not only has she missed a FOTC gig, she's wearing a Crazy Dogggz T-shirt! Clearly benefiting from the new band that played in front of 98,000 people in Rio, Murray shows up with a new car, new suit and slicked-back hair. Bret and Jemaine go back to playing bingo night at the library.

I've had a great summer spending time with Bret and Jemaine and taking on this blog. So until next year, I'd like to leave you with these parting words:

"A Kiss Is Not a Contract" but it's very nice, "If You’re Into It." Don't let the "Inner City Pressure" get to you. Remember "It's Business Time" so we have to stick together like "Sello Tape," the tape of love — the sticky stuff. "Foux da fa fa…"

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"Are you feeling the feeling that I'm feeling?" I hope so, because I'm enjoying this show so much that I might turn into Mel II. When Bret and Jemaine finished singing those lyrics, Mel and Murray were two of three people clapping in the audience. Saturday Night Live's Will Forte played Ben, a dry cleaner and semiprofessional actor whom the duo asks to tell Murray that he's from a record company and to give him a rejection call to boost his spirits about the direction of the band. We all need a little rejection to feel better, right?

When a brainstorming session to elicit a larger audience is going slowly, and Bret's idea to hand out free pencils at each gig gets nixed, the first song of the evening was presented in a video scrapbook to "Cheer Up Murray." The well-meaning guys sang about Murray's helluva good English bulldog, his wife having met someone on the Net, and that his friends are Bret, Jemaine and Greg. (Have we heard about Greg before?)

Forte was perfectly cast as he matched the tone of the show, blending his blank stares, friendly grins and a matter-of-fact delivery. Calling and using the name Stefan Gucci, Ben can't resist Murray's crying and sets up a record deal. Murray feels even more encouraged when he reverses the 90-10 split of the $2-million contract to a 10-90 split. Even Bret wants to take the deal. Jemaine tries to stop everything from spiraling out of control but, well, doesn't.

Bret and Jemaine seek advice from Dave, who recommends they be honest with Murray. But does honesty include saying monogamy isn't legal in this country to the "foreign chicks" he had a five-way with?

When the band discussed promotion ideas, I liked the thought of their faces on lunch boxes. But instead we got the second video of the night. With Bret playing the elf escort Figwit in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, it was only a matter of time before we got their song "Frodo, Don't Wear the Ring." Everyone got in on the act, but it was Mel dressed as Liv Tyler's Arwen who cracked me up the most, speaking in her "native tongue… Elf-ish."

Murray holds a wrap party for all involved and is happily serving champagne at a VIP lounge. I didn't catch where it was held but was there a pole-dancer in the background? Bret and Jemaine get nervous about paying the check when it arrives, but Murray is confident having been given the "industry code." The next time you run up a $600 tab, just tell the waiter 57687452156 and see what happens.

Murray finally realizes he was duped, saying that not even Crowded House gets a 90-10 split. And the autographed signatures should have tipped him off, too. Especially Art Garfunkel's, which read: "To Ben: Thanks for keeping me clean," which was not a "drug rehab thing." But his proudest moment was just making the deal. And with that, we now know that Murray wears clean underpants because he washes them in the sink and drys them in the microwave.

And Ben got to make a Martin Scorsese movie, costarring John Turturro, about a dry cleaner — called "Dry Cleaner."

Oh, and this week’s show skipped right over last week's ending about Mel being off the fan list. I guess it didn't take.

For previous Flight of the Conchords blog entries, go here.

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Who likes to rock the party? I like to rock the party! World music doesn't come any better than this when Jemaine and Bret, introduced as Flute of the Commodores, sang these lyrics at the Tuesday World Music Jam. Correcting Jemaine's comment about the band not playing world music, Murray asks: "Where is New Zealand if it's not in the world?"

The first song of the episode has Bret and Jemaine singing that they just wanna do "Something Special for the Ladies" in the world. And don’t forget the girls, like the Perusian, Beruvian, amphibian, Presbyterian.... Their version of "make love not war" is telling soldiers to put down their weapons and pick up a woman. Blondes not bombs.

Suggesting they put a pencil behind an ear or hang a stalk of hay out of their mouths to up their coolness, Murray announces that the winner of the fan competition, having sent in hundreds of entries, was, of course, Mel. Jemaine entered once but was disqualified because, as he was told, he can't be a fan of the band because he's in the band. Bret is not on the fan list because he's not a fan of the band. None of this matters to Mel, because she's happy that her prize is cooking dinner for the band. What she's not happy about is the inclusion of the two women from the nightclub, Summer and Rain, whose name she says is kind of like bad weather.

Hoping to borrow some cool clothes, Dave lends Bret a T-shirt with a picture of mice in a snappy position, and Jemaine wants to dress like casual Prince. When Dave hands him what seems to be a blouse, he tells them to ignore his crazy Indian roommate, who thinks she’s Dave's mom. Dave isn't the only one who gives us a snippet of their background.

While serving everyone scrambled eggs, part of the dinner conversation focused on Mel's relationship with her husband, Doug, who was banished to the basement. We knew he was her college professor but I don't recall previously hearing about a "legal issue" to keep Mel away from his family. It was just a little spooky to hear Mel say she always gets what she wants.

Well, she didn't quite get what she wanted when the dudes left with Summer and Rain to get whacked off — on drugs, that is. When they take a 16th of a tab of acid, trippy Bret and Jemaine don't wear raspberry berets but do wear royal purple and act like "funky monkey junkies" when they sing "Pretty Prince of the Parties." Did you notice when Mel was at the table with a two-headed Bret-Jemaine that it was like the sketch hanging in the bathroom? Speaking of the bathroom, I'm glad I don't have Bret's symptom of going to the toilet after just a sip of beer.

When Summer says she wants a threesome, the guys have a private discussion, in a bathroom, where Jemaine says he nearly had a threesome when he had a twosome. Bret tries to relate by saying he's had a one-way. When they tell Murray, he's totally on board with man-man-lady threesomes hoping it will boost their image. Just wait until their fans discover the live webcam in their apartment. But who is going to watch now that Mel is off the list?

It was announced this past week that HBO picked up Flight of the Conchords for a second season. Congratulations Bret and Jemaine!

For previous Flight of the Conchords blog entries, go here.

Find video for Flight of the Conchords in our Online Video Guide.

Murray. Present. Bret. Present. Jemaine. Present. At Murray's meeting this week, he did a lot more than tell the guys they'll be kicking off a warm-up tour for their gig in Central Park. He showed his belief in the band and that he's one of the boys. Well, maybe one of the guardian angels of the boys. In any case, Murray really stuck his neck out. Not only did his emergency fund consist of money from his savings account, but he also continually lied to his recently returned sweetheart, Shelly, and told the office he had muscle contractions in both legs.

It was nice to see Murray so confident in organizing the tour, feeling his experience in running a rugby team is similar to running the band. (In rugby you play a game, and in a band you play guitar. In rugby you kick the ball, and the band kicks the jams.) Heading to their first stop, Murray notices a familiar face in the van following behind them. And guess who it is? Our favorite fan, Mel. All I had to do was hear her voice yelling to them and I smiled at the "coincidence."

Playing in the LaGuardia Airport hotel lobby in the middle of the afternoon didn't prove to be the hot venue Murray was hoping for. But that didn't stop him from giving Bret and Jemaine a per diem. Being rock-and-rollers, they promptly went and bought black leather suits. Not realizing their per diem was for the week, or as Jemaine called it their "per week-em," it started a series of financial fiascos. It was bad enough that Murray didn't get any of Jemaine's cashews from his $8 packet of mixed nuts, nor could he stop a TV from dropping out of the hotel room, but the North Jersey University Water Polo team hooked Bret and had him thinking he was signing an autograph. Murray was not pleased at telling him they actually paid $352 for drinks. (And they never showed up for the after party.)

Not quite reeling the guys in, tension mounts as Murray drops the F bomb, quits and leaves the band. Looking for a ride, driver Doug chauffeurs Bret and Jemaine with Mel between them in the backseat. Flipping back and forth and with hands caressing faces, was Mel channeling Norma Desmond from Sunset Blvd. in her sleep? The homeless person Jemaine spots walking on the side of the road is Murray, whom they convince to come back. To prove his solidarity, Murray buys himself a leather suit as they end up in Central Park... Central Park in Newark, New Jersey, that is.

Splish, splash, Murray was sleeping in the bathtub, and there was a water theme everywhere — from the car that went into the swimming pool (remember that hand brakes are on the left in New Zealand) to the leather suits shrinking to half their size from the rain, to Murray telling Jemaine to blow into tap water to make it sparkling. Then we got our only musical performance of the evening. When Bret and Jemaine were gliding down the long, lonely hallway, I initially thought we were watching a scene from The Shining. It turns out our white-tux-wearing crooners were happily singing about "Mermaids" murmuring in their ears. Do you think they really smoke seaweed in the sea?

For previous Flight of the Conchords blog entries, go here.

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Hi readers! Mario here. I’m a Flight fan and will be taking over the blog from now on, so I just thought I’d introduce myself. Now, on to the episode…

Mon dieu! Who knew what the desire for a croissant could do? In yet another smile-inducing episode, we first see our dynamic duo as they are peering into the window of a French pastry shop. Jemaine is craving a croissant, but when Bret says he doesn't like them, he becomes Jemaine’s wingman, à la Top Gun. Well, sort of. As they meet Lisa and Felicia at the checkout counter, the foursome is immediately transported to Gérard Depardieu-land, wearing striped shirts, riding bicyclettes, and singing happily about baguettes, Camembert cheese, and the soup du jour. If only amour could always be like this.

Leaving the French discotheque for an American bar, their first double date isn’t working for Jemaine, who asks Bret to swap Felicia for Lisa. He agrees, though it doesn’t help Jemaine get to first base. But an amorous Lisa can’t keep her hands off of a nervous-looking Bret. At a meeting the next day with manager Murray, he reminds them of the trouble caused by Coco and recommends that bands in general shouldn’t have girlfriends. The reason being that they could lose their fan base, which is why Wham! never had girlfriends. That Murray is so insightful!

Always looking for a promotion deal, Murray goes to the ghetto (and says it’s described exactly like an Elvis Presley song) and meets AJ Jones, who says he's the younger brother of record producer Quincy Jones, but curiously looks nothing like him. While paying for a stereo system that isn’t there, Murray plays a Conchords demo when AJ says he’s also a record manufacturer. (And also sells hot pants.) After purchasing two-and-a-half thousand CDs, sales were slower than he liked, having sold just a single disc to our one and only favorite fan, Mel. That was probably a good thing since they turned out to be blank rewritable discs, which our friend Dave took off his hands. At least he didn’t try to sell the boxes that were filled with sawdust.

Back for a second double date, the dudes still aren’t having fun. Jemaine sports a sleeveless shirt to impress Felicia, but it's Bret who is being shy and tells Lisa he usually waits three years before bringing a girl up to his apartment. Lisa cons her way into his apartment but not into his pants when she pounces on Bret, who is lying on the sofa. This leads to a very sweet song about playing tonsil hockey, which doesn’t mean you get to score the goal.

Though Bret sings that exploring the mouth is no expedition to the south, their friend Dave says he doesn’t know how the guys do it back home in Europe, but over here we show them the sausage. (I don’t even want to think about his reference to getting egg rolls from Mrs. Chang means.) When Lisa tells Bret she's leaving to fight in Iraq the next day, he falls for the pastry chef-sniper and follows Dave’s advice. But chef Lisa only wanted Bret for his hot cross buns. Feeling sad and used, he should have listened to his own lyrics: "A kiss is not a contract, but it’s very nice."


For previous Flight of the Conchords blog entries, go here.

Find video from Flight of the Conchords in our Online Video Guide.