Dancing with the Stars

It was a fantastic start to the 100th show — a dance featuring the past and present pros! Maksim was back, Maksim was back! There is a God! There was so much that happened tonight I can't even think straight or form a complete thought. So I won't. I'm sure there are some of you out there who would swear I never do, so let's get on that train and keep it going. Choo-chooooo! Here are my loves and hates from tonight's show:

Loves

• Samantha Harris' dress — I'm going to give her some kudos since no one likes her. Despite her utter uselessness on the show, she's actually an incredible beauty. She's got a great bod and she looks fantastic in all the cool dresses she gets to wear. I'm sure if she were on a show where she served a purpose, she'd be a bigger star.

• Mario Lopez and the cast of A Chorus Line — I'm a sucker for a musical so this was a treat for me. I didn't realize A.C. Slater was on Broadway but I bet he's great in the show. I'll admit I always thought he was a ringer, but he's cute and entertaining…even without his curly mullet from the good old days at Bayside!

• Mel B and Maksim danced! It was just like last season all over again. I miss Maks and this only made me want him back on the show that much more.

• We got to relive Marie fainting. ABC has been dying to use that footage again as much as I've been dying to see it.

• The eviction wasn't spread out over the whole show but done in the last 10 minutes. Hurray!

• Cristián escapes eviction! He deserves to be in the semi-finals even without his amazing performances last night. I'll be rooting for him to make it all the way to the finale.

Hates

• There were two fans from each state "in our fine union" in the audience. What was the significance of that? And why wasn't I included? A heinous oversight, for sure.

• Rascal Flatts — I'm not a country fan so I can't say this was thrilling for me but I'm sure it was great for lots of fans out there. At least we city folk got to enjoy the dances that accompanied the songs!

• I can't believe I'm actually going to say it — this show was too short! Hell is freezing as we speak. I wanted more pro dances and more highlights from previous seasons. I actually forgot some of the people who competed! They should all have had a brief cameo.

• Marissa moves on? Wow. I'm so perplexed. It was nice to see her so happy but it's sad to see someone more deserving go. I'll be in the fetal position sobbing for days.

• Edyta's look of anguish when they were down to three…and then two. It was obvious she really wanted to move on. She's my girl so I wanted to hug her…and ask her where she gets her leg warmers.

• Mario was robbed! Of course I'm biased, but I do not think he should have been axed before Marissa. This is just ludicrous. He handled his eviction with grace and even gave a shout out to our brave soldiers fighting in Iraq. What a stand-up guy! The next couple of weeks will not be the same for me. Now that he's gone, I'm rooting for Cristián all the way!

So what did you think of the amazing 100th show? Did it live up to the hype? I think so! Are you as horrified as I am that Mario is gone? Did Marissa deserve to stay? We have much to discuss so let's get it started! Also, check the post below for the top 10 dances of the series and chat there about your favorites. Now you must excuse me while I go curl up in a ball.

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So special they deserved their own post! Here are the judges' picks for the most amazing dances of the series:

Top 10 Dances of the DWTS series

10. Kelly Monaco's freestyle from week 6 of season 1

9. Sabrina Bryan's paso doble from week 4 of season 5 (right before she got axed)

8. Emmitt Smith's cha-cha from week 9 of season 3

7. Apolo Anton Ohno's quickstep from week 9 of season 4

6. Joey Fatone's jive from week 7 of season 4

5. Helio Castroneves' quickstep from week 8 of season 5 (should have been #1)

4. Drew Lachey's freestyle from week 8 of season 2

3. Stacy Keibler's samba from week 8 of season 2

2. Mel B's paso doble from week 7 of season 5

1. Mario Lopez's tango from week 9 of season 3

Recap: Can you say scripted? I'm going to cut the judges some slack since they don't usually read off cue cards, but it could have been a little less obvious. Putting Helio's quickstep at #5 was a grave disservice to the show and just plain ridiculous. Nothing can match it and I doubt anything ever will. I may have let it slide if it was at least in the top 3 over Stacy's samba. However, I must admit the top two were awesome dances as well and deserved their recognition. I could have done without Kelly's freestyle. I think this was just a nod to the first winner, but I noticed quite a few mistakes in it. It would not have gotten a perfect score today. This show has come a long way!

What do you think of this list? Did Len, Bruno and Carrie Ann get it right? Did they even pick these? Tell me your favorite dances and moments from the first 5 seasons below.

It was another crazy week in the ballroom and, to top it off, lifts were legal. What sort of challenge would that pose? Also a possible challenge — Cristián's injury. How would he handle two dances and lifts with a ruptured tendon? I was eager to find out. So slap on a sling and use an extra large spoon to help your good arm dish out some D-List burritos for Cinco de Mayo. And have a shot of tequila while you're at it. We might just need it!

Kristi — Just looking at the quickstep makes me exhausted. If it's difficult though, you'd never know looking at her. The lift was good but pretty ordinary. She doesn't really need it to make-up points, but was still fun to see. However, I did not dig her samba outfit. It was a tad Big Bird-ish. The dance was fine though! Would it be enough to beat Jason's samba?
Quickstep 29
Samba 26

Mario — I've never been shy about admitting Karina isn't my favorite pro, but her voice was really getting to me tonight. She screeches and I just want to change the channel. But she can dance and her choreography was great for the waltz. The lift was very dramatic. I didn't love his jive but he did some great lifts. I don't care for the jive in general and I don't really get how it's a ballroom dance. But I, as you know, adore him so I hope to see him next week.
Viennese Waltz 27
Jive 26

Marissa — The way she cried those first few weeks convinced me she was a goner, but she's hung on so I have to give her credit for that. I'm never going to be a fan, but I can't say her dances aren't decent. But just for good measure, I'll say her fox trot wasn't that graceful and her mambo was a bit awkward. She has great hair though. I envy it.
Fox Trot 25
Mambo 25

Jason — I very much enjoyed his tango but probably because this is the one dance where his chronic stiffness (hehe) comes in handy. Argentine or not, I thought it was the best dance of the ballroom round. Very risky lift! I wasn't entertained by his samba, but it had another incredible lift. After it was over, I knew there was hope for Kristi to win the samba smack down! Sadly though, it wasn't as eventful as I thought it would be.
Tango 29
Samba 23

Cristián — I wouldn't pick "Beat It" for a tango, but his one-armed lift made up for it. Not bad! Cheryl did a great job of utilizing his good arm in both dances, but especially in the mambo. It was very energetic and although we could tell his left arm was motionless, it didn't take away from a solid performance. Bravo!
Tango 28
Mambo 29

With Kristi and Jason tied after the first round, I thought for sure we were in for quite a finish, but they both kind of fizzled with their sambas. Was Kristi's really better? Cristián did fantastic for dancing with an injury so he should definitely make it to the next round. Who would have thought he'd end up in first place for the night? Amazing! Who won't live to see another week? I must say it is Marissa's time to go. She is the definition of comeback, but I don't think it will be enough. We have quite a results show to anticipate! Not only will we get the results, but it's the 100th show so we get to see the top 10 dances of the past 5 seasons. I'm actually excited! Maybe it's the tequila shots that washed down my burrito? No, it's definitely the top 10 dances. So stop back here tomorrow night to discuss! Until then, tell me what you thought of tonight's dances.

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Well it's eviction night but the big story was Cristián's injury. Was it not all over the news? Good Morning America, my local ABC affiliate and all the various internet news sites fed into the juiciness that was, apparently, exploiting a DWTS contestant's injury for ratings. For a second, I thought it might surpass Miley Cyrus' Vanity Fair photos as the hot news item of the day. I was wrong. Was it me or was the photo of Miley lying seductively in Billy Ray's lap creepier than her wrapped in a sheet? And if it's so horrifying that she posed that way — why are the pictures all over the news? But back to the topic at hand! The story was so big that the powers that be decided the real first paragraph to my blog last night didn't cut it and wrote their own. My writing, of course, started with another one of those lame D-List casserole jokes. Sorry to disappoint anyone who thought I learned to write overnight. I'm back in all my mediocrity! I might even throw in a spelling error or two — just to keep you all on your toes. Just kidding.

I was surprised that we got through the whole first segment without an update on his injury but I guess I should know better. Of course they teased it and in one of his famous voiceovers, Tom ominously pondered if there'd be "another ballroom casualty." You know ABC is just chomping at the bit for it. Obviously they don't wish real harm on anyone, but any sort of drama equals ratings. RE: Marie fainting, Derek's neck spasm and food poisoning.

Still waiting for an update, we watched Jason and Edyta do their quickstep again in the encore dance and I must say I enjoyed it more the second time. Maybe the pressure was off him since he already scored a 29 for it, but I definitely think he looked more comfortable.

As the first part of evictions started, I realized we're probably going to have to wait until 9:58 to find out if Cristián will be returning. Oh that ABC, they know what they're doing! I can just see some old guy in a suit smoking a cigar trying to figure out how to get more ad dollars out of this injury. Think Jack Donaghy — only not at all funny.

Dance Center never fails to entertain me! Another fantastic bit and I wish it would be a weekly staple. It would certainly make the results shows more bearable. I remember last year I thought he just had a botched make-up job until someone pointed out it was supposed to be that way. Yeah, moron party of one right here! I'm glad to see Kenny was in full make-up again. Even Jerry had some glitter eye shadow. Kristi Yama-hoochie! Classic!

Def Leppard performed "Pour Some Sugar On Me" and it was so obvious they were lip-synching. No way do they still sound that good almost 30 years later. Trust me, I'm a fan so this is not really meant to be a dig. Regardless, it was still good fun! They also performed a song off their new album which drops...um today. Def Leppard didn't do this out of the kindness of their hearts after all.

When we returned from the last commercial, we finally learned that Cristián will remain in the competition — if he has the votes. Apparently he needs surgery for a ruptured tendon, but he's willing to tough it out and go on. This is very cool, albeit risky. Less than 10 seconds later, it was revealed that he had escaped eviction! Marissa and Shannon ended up in the bottom two tonight. This was a fair bottom two — especially since Mario wasn't there! Hurray! Marissa has been stepping it up but I still don't think she has the goods. Yet America didn't think it was her time to go and sent Shannon packing. I liked her but I think this was the right decision. She just wasn't getting it done on the fast dances. What do you think? Was it Shannon's time? What do you make of Cristián's decision to remain in the competition? Will he make it through the rest of the rounds? We'll see how he fares with two more dances next week. So check back here and we'll chat about it! Bye for now.

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This evening's show had some added drama that will likely continue off the dance floor — and no, it's not romance-related! Amidst a jam-packed show with the pressure on, Cristián's seemingly fluid performance was halted when he pulled a muscle in his arm and coudn't finish his samba. The misfortune was even more considerable, as the celebrities had to wow us with two dances and hoped they impressed us enough to earn our votes as the competition went to a whole new level.

Let's get right to it! Loosen up those belt buckles — in fact, put on a pair of comfy pants — because tonight we're getting a heaping double portion of D-List casserole! Phew — I hope I don't bust the elastic.

Marissa — She started off with a fantastic tango which left her in second place after the ballroom round. Her rumba wasn't bad but I was a bit bored by it. The song sounded like something you'd hear in an elevator.
Tango 27
Rumba 25

Cristián — Oh no! He was going into the second dance with good momentum from a beautiful waltz and then he pulled a muscle in his arm and couldn't finish his samba. I felt so bad. I don't like to see injuries, especially when they ruin someone's dance. I hope his low score doesn't land him in the bottom two. So not fair!
Viennese Waltz 25
Samba 21

Kristi — So good she's using props! What's a fleckle? I think Len forgets we haven't been doing ballroom for eons. Oddly, this was her lowest scored dance of the competition. She wowed with the cha-cha though and even sported a fluffy club wig. She can dance hip-hop well, which added a flare to this dance that only Len didn't like.
Viennese Waltz 26
Cha-Cha 28

Mario — Len brought up a good point in that he is only 21. Sometimes I forget that. His fox trot was good but you can tell he only really comes alive for the Latin dances. His mambo was amazing but he has to put as much into the ballroom dances if he wants to stay in this competition.
Fox Trot 24
Mambo 27

Shannon — A lot was made this past week of their infamous rant about heel leads and hip motions. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Luckily, they came back strong with a tango full of Tyra-like fierceness. I loved it! Good thing too because that mambo wasn't very good. She is not improving on her fast dances.
Tango 27
Mambo 24

Jason — Is there something in the rules that states every male contestant must jump over their partners head at one point? His quickstep was lively, yet still a bit awkward in my opinion. Maybe it's his height. However, his paso was very entertaining and I think his stiff tendencies worked for this dance. Very cool how they worked in the Monday Night Football theme. Points for creativity!
Quickstep 29 No way! I'm sorry but this was not the best dance of the round
Paso Doble 26

Well I must say it was an intense night in the ballroom. I hope Cristián is ok and that Mario doesn't go home! And I hope that Mario doesn't stay simply because of Cristián’s injury! For some odd reason, I'm not on the Jason train so I wouldn't mind seeing him go tomorrow night but I definitely think Shannon had the worst dance of the night so maybe she should go instead. Marissa again managed to step it up and we'll probably see her again next week. I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow night to find out who America thinks isn't cutting it. I'm very excited for Def Leppard and a Dance Center bit with Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice. Who do you think should get the boot? Will Cristián be ousted because of an unfortunate injury? What am I missing about Jason? Fill me in below and stop back tomorrow for the scoop on the results!

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Some people may say that Marlee Matlin just couldn't overcome her disability and that's why she was voted off of the show tonight. I would disagree completely. I don't think I understood the magnitude of what she did every week until she was giving her speech at the end. She made me realize how lucky I am to have all my senses and how I take it all for granted. She started out well but had two bad weeks in a row and that was her demise. I can't say what went wrong, but we all saw in the beginning that she can dance despite being deaf so that had nothing to do with it. Maybe the dances just got a bit too difficult for her. The voters made the right choice, but it was still sort of sad.

The show started out like usual with a recap of the previous night's dances and some comments from the celebs thrown in. Usually nothing of note happens during this segment, but I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow to Shannon and Derek. I actually like her but she was being a bit of a cry baby and the way Derek threw everyone else under the bus to defend her sounded a bit bitter. Am I wrong?

I thought Ashlee Simpson was a rocker chick. Why was she dressed like her sister singing a pop song? I'm not really into her music, but I liked her raspy voice and it went well with the rock genre. Or should I say rock-ish genre. Is this whole "engagement" some big stunt to get publicity? Did I even ask that question — of course it is! No way does Pete Wentz need to marry that chick now. That ring was pretty sweet though. She's very cute so I just don't want to see her all washed up and making crappy movies that barely make it to theaters while Pete moves onto someone cooler. Good luck, Ash. Keep your own bank account.

Usually the Macy's dance bores me but I dug the Irish dancing. I loved when Michael Flatley performed last season so this shiz was right up my alley. I realize it's a pretty lame alley, but it's mine. I wouldn't have thought people outside the "Lord of the Dance" sphere actually did this sort of dancing until I saw tons of little girls all decked out in Celtic outfits and curly wigs at a St. Patrick's Day parade last year. Apparently it's a big deal in the Philly suburbs.

Trumpets please! It's time for the best fluff segment in the history of the show — the mini dancers! This time it's the 13 and under category so the dances are getting a bit more difficult and, therefore, more entertaining. Brandon and Brittany did a decent cha-cha but had nothing interesting to offer. By far the most mystifying part of this segment was the height and weight difference of the second pair. Liza is 12 but looked 25. She must be very popular. Austin was 12 and looked 10. Automatically I favored them because this made me laugh. However, their samba was very good despite a fall at the end because Austin was not able to support Liza's weight. The uninteresting pair won.

After that, we got an inside look at how the judges, well, judge! It was good to hear them admit it's easy for them to miss something and it's a quick decision so maybe they aren't getting it 100% correct. Somehow I didn't believe Len when he said he feels bad criticizing the dancers. I know he thrives on those boos from the audience!

I don't know how Mario can have the second highest score for the week and still end up in the bottom two. I love him but no one seems to be on my side. It must be lack of fan base. Let me know what all of you out there feel about him. He's young, sexy and he can dance! He even makes up cute rhymes – "we got two nines and a ten we gotta do it again." Corny or not I ate it up! Luckily, he was spared and Marlee was the one having her last dance. Did anyone else find it oddly funny that "Dust in the Wind" was their song? I totally chuckled. I was surprised to learn that she and Tom were such good friends. Tom, the Fonz, who's next? If I saw Oprah, I would have died. His goodbye to her was very sweet. Was her exit sweet for you or no? Tell me who you thought should have gone and who needs to watch their back next week. Will Marissa's roll continue? We'll find out next Monday as the celebs have two dances to nail down. See you then!

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The stakes increased this week as each contestant was trying to make it to the second part of the season and the "double dance shows." Much like this season has hit the halfway point — my enthusiasm has hit a plateau. Fear not, this usually happens every year because I've come off the high of a new season and have settled in with the celebs. However, as we start picking off the decent dancers and get down to the end I know I'll get excited. Did that sound convincing? I think part of the problem is that no one seems to be improving that much and I feel we see the same dances every week. I'm looking for someone to turn it on and start making Kristi quake in her boots. Luckily, I have the real life drama of Shannon and Derek totally caught being all smoochy-smoochy on the beach to keep me invested. More on that later. It's time to add a twist of lemon to this D-List martini we call Dancing with the Stars.

Jason — I still think he has a lot of loosening up to do, but I'd say his cha-cha was pretty good. My husband (who I promised to credit and not pass off his thought as my own, like usual) made a great point about my girl Edyta — every week she manages to wear next to nothing yet never looks trampy. She's freakin' magic.
Cha-Cha 24

Shannon — Just when I thought her biggest concern must be the anxiety of everyone in the world having seen her lady bits, she goes and makes out with her 22 year old dance partner. He's hot, I'll give her that, but it's a bit weird. Click here for that story! Samantha definitely put them on the spot, but they did a great job of dodging any question about their off-screen shenanigans. But on to the dancing! Her rumba was beautiful and a big improvement over samba last week.
Rumba 24

Marlee — I like the Fonz just as much as the next guy, but I don't know what he has to do with dancing. Sometimes I wonder if these "visits" from "friends" are some sort of bit. Anywho, while I enjoyed her mambo, I can't say it was much better than last week. I'm a bit worried she's on a downhill spiral and this is not the time in the competition for it.
Mambo 21

Cristián — If he ends up in the bottom two again, I'll be upset. His fox trot was very smooth and boy does he look good in a suit. He switches well between a ballroom and a Latin dance. It's almost like he has two separate personalities!
Fox Trot 27

Marissa — Could it be? Could Marissa be the contestant who is actually getting better? Dare I say this was a decent waltz! I can't say I'm on the Winokur Wave yet (gag!), but I'm actually looking forward to seeing if she can keep it up.
Viennese Waltz 26

Kristi — This was a very entertaining jive, despite Mark operating at a few levels over Kristi on the energy scale. If he's going to distract me, I want it to be because of his good looks. It's not a bad quality; I just think he might want to be a bit mindful of her level so they can blend better.
Jive 30 First of the season!

Paula Abdul was in the ballroom tonight. I've heard rumors that she may be a contestant or thinking about it, but that can't be true. She's a definite ringer! Although she is pure comedy which will give me some great material, so maybe I can get on board. And I'm sure they'd get Simon to come on and rip her to shreds. That would be fun! Would you root for her or want to see her voted off first?

Mario — By far that was the sexiest rumba of the season! Usually this dance is all about the woman, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. He is my favorite to root for, but I'm starting to feel like I'm on my own island! Len definitely lost his head on that one. It was not raunchy at all! Grrrr!
Rumba 28

Cowboy dance — It was a bit fast and chaotic for me to pick an absolute favorite, but I thought Jason and Edyta had the best lift. I definitely think it ended the show on a high note. It's good to see the celebs goofing around and enjoying themselves, especially with the competition getting tougher. The song "Cotton Eye Joe" was a perfect fit. I almost got up and did the line dance for old time's sake. Almost.

Although Kristi is still on top, Mario and Cristián are only slightly behind. Marissa is turning it on, so who is going home this week? It may be Marlee. She's just not getting it done lately. For the first time this season, I don't have a clue as to who is really in danger! What are your thoughts? Who has the most to worry about going into tomorrow night's eviction? And why? What about Shannon and Derek — sweet or strange? Let's chat below and be sure to check back here for the scoop on the next celeb to get the bad news.

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Well it was a very blue ballroom tonight. A blue-blue-blue ballroom, if you will. First Lady of rich deceased husbands, our very own Cilla, has been sent packing. Now don't be cruel, but it seems the judges and fans could help falling in love with her. She was definitely all shook up under that red light. After all, it was now or never. She may be feeling a bit lonesome tonight since she's a hunka hunka ballroom road kill, but she'll be always on our minds.

I could go on all night! Ok, all puns aside, Priscilla was definitely an interesting contestant on this show and did a very impressive job. I enjoyed poking fun at her and even felt a bit bad about it, but she's going home to Graceland and 10 million thread count sheets so she can take it! I'm a bit surprised that she went this early, but with Marissa pulling it together it was only a matter of time. I'm scared that Cristián is next to go. Not to throw Marlee under the bus, but if we're going on dancing alone she should have been in the bottom two instead of him.

The encore dance went to Kristi and Mark and though I enjoyed watching it again, she should win every week so they should give it to other people who won't be making it to the finale. Yeah, I'm going there. Never have I seen someone in the history of the show become such a shoe-in. Crap, did I just jinx her? Shiz.

I enjoyed the performance by Ozomatli. It was very lively and ran circles around anything James Blunt could have done. Everything he sings sounds like "You're Beautiful" to me. His voice makes me want to get a Red Ryder BB gun and shoot my eye out. That was crazy rude but it's so true. Musically he's talented, but it's just not my thing.

It's time for the mini dancers! As I said before, this is my kind of fluff. Dmitriy and Michelle did a jive and it was decent. Jaryd and Cara did a cha-cha to one of my favorite oldies songs, "Hey Baby," so I automatically favored them before they even started dancing. This is exactly why I should never judge anything. Luckily, my shallowness wasn't quite off the mark because Jaryd and Cara won. They were the better dancers.

Then there was a technical difficulty with the teleprompter and it skipped ahead in the show. Although Tom made the best of it, he seemed to have a bit of an attitude about it. I think he killed half the crew during a commercial break. I love live shows!

After Tom wiped the blood off his hands, it was time to find out who would go home. After announcing Mario and Karina were safe, he added Marissa and Tony to that list. This is when I knew that Cilla's fate was sealed. It was possible Marlee may have been axed because she had a bad week, but it was highly doubtful because she's a fan favorite. I also ruled out Shannon and Derek because he's a popular pro. What's with these two? When Tom announced they were safe, I thought she was going to lick his face or something. They seem to have some strange chemistry going on there. We must follow this closely.

So what are your thoughts on Cilla getting ousted? Was it her time or were there others who should have gone before her? Why did Tom cut her off to talk about her non-existent psychic hotline? Can anyone challenge Kristi? Let's chat our way to next Monday when a new round of dancing begins.

Who's your current pick to win Dancing with the Stars? Vote here.

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Holy smokes, it's Latin Night! With the exception of the quickstep, I will take a Latin dance over a ballroom dance any day. There's something so mundane about the fox trot that makes me slip into a boredom-induced coma. Luckily, we get a whole night of booty-shaking goodness. Who will the samba and rumba take as a victim this week? Let's dab on some Eau de D-List and find out! Yes, I have a million of these stupid D-List intros and they are all corny and ridiculous. If you are rolling your eyes right now, my work is done!

Mario — I enjoy his dancing so much it makes me crazy that more people aren't on the Mario bandwagon. He's very smooth and exudes sexuality. I hope he gains some fans so he can stay in the competition. Also, Karina is not my favorite pro but she looked amazing in that yellow outfit.
Samba 27

Cilla — Finally they left that woman's hair alone. She looked decent for the first time this competition. I'm extremely jealous that she can still do a split! I'm easily half her age and that's already impossible for me. This dance seemed to suit her a little more but the judges didn't like it, which made me wonder if I missed something.
Rumba 21

Tom delivered some great news after Cilla danced, Def Leppard is going to be performing this season. Holy crap I love them so much it is borderline embarrassing. Speaking of embarrassing, Ashlee Simpson will also be lip-synching in the ballroom this season. I knew something was up when she announced her engagement to Pete Wentz. No way they are getting engaged if she wasn't pregnant, right? Or am I just too cynical? Has her sister's pathetic personal life taught her nothing about marrying early? Oy vey.

Marissa — I'm still hoping she goes home this week despite an energetic and entertaining dance. I don't know when my mood shifted toward her, but I just can't stand the sight of her. But this was her best routine and I admit my aversion to her isn't really about her dancing. If she's around next week she deserves it because of her performance tonight.
Samba 24

Cristián — This was a good dance but I don't think it's fair to give a male contestant the rumba because it's a seduction dance centered around the woman. Cheryl seemed to do most of the dancing tonight. However, he gets points for blood-boiling sex appeal!
Rumba 23

Marlee — She struggled a bit with this and had some noticeable slip-ups. It's hard to knock her though because she still manages to entertain despite the frustration her disability creates. Sadly, we'll never know if she'd do better if she could hear. Then we'd really be able to measure the difficulty of what she does week to week.
Samba 22

Kristi — Like I said last week, I've run out of compliments for her. She's so stunning and I loved the dance and the song they danced to was perfect. How freakin' cute were her daughters? Some people say she's a ringer but I don't feel that way at all. Skating and ballroom aren't that much alike. Sure, the grace she learned in skating helps, but it's not dancing! I think people are jealous of her. I'll end this paragraph because I'm butt-kissing and making myself sick.
Rumba 29

Shannon — Neck spasms, food poisoning…what's next? Castration? Derek better ditch that black cloud over him before he finds out. I thought for sure we'd see footage of his neck snapping. Durrr! He bounced back pretty well, but Shannon looked a bit awkward. She had the same problem with the jive a couple weeks ago. And she again looked like she was going to collapse afterward! She needs to work on her polish and stamina.
Samba 23

Jason — Still mad that he stole a 29 last week! But I love my Edyta, so I'll let it go. She has the coolest leg warmers. The only leg warmers I ever had were pink "Get in Shape Girl" ones circa 1985. Ladies of the 80s, do you remember that? Anywho, Jason did a decent job this week and seemed to lose a bit of his stiffness (hehe).
Rumba 27

So that's it for this week. With the exception of a few stand-outs, I'd say it's going to come down to fan votes. Who are you voting for this week? Who will be under that creepy red light and one step away from a final dance? Let's chat below! Send me your power rankings, predictions and your pick for the encore dance tomorrow night. Dare I say Marissa might get it? Stop back tomorrow when we dissect the next results show!

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I was glad we got to learn the bottom two tonight, but was shocked that it was down to Priscilla and Adam not Marissa and Adam. Sadly, the goof factor of this show is now gone and Adam won't be riding unicycles in a Zorro costume anymore. At least not in the ballroom! Since getting rid of Marissa wasn't an option, I was hoping Adam would stay over Priscilla. Obviously, she is way better than him but I get a lot more enjoyment out of his performances than I do hers. Also, I think Julianne is so adorable. Well, at least they got the encore dance this evening so they were able to perform together one last time.

I loved how the show started with Sheryl Crow singing "All I Wanna Do". She looked great. Now that's how you rock a performance in HD after 40. She may be doing a little botox, but she doesn't look like plastic. I could be wrong though and she could just have great skin. I don't mind that the professionals dance during the musical performances, but I also thought it took away from Sheryl. She's what most people want to see. Especially since during her second song (which I thought was great) I had no idea who those dancers were.

The mini-dancers were so freaking cute! The only sad thing was that one pair had to lose. So sad. I don't know who Daniela's parents are but I want to adopt her. For 8 years old, I'd say she's pretty well-mannered and poised. Dancing is probably a great discipline for these kids. So much training is involved and the fact that they start at such a young age only affirms that these stars have no easy task at hand. I know we (by we I mean me) like to poke fun at every stumble and chastise them, but at heart I do realize it's very difficult. But hey, I need something to talk about!

They worked in Derek's injury again! I knew it. It was way too good to let it go with just one episode. I think it'll be in at least 10 more times before the season is through. But that may be a bit much even for DWTS. I'll set the over/under at 5. Any takers?

Well another week is behind us. Is everyone satisfied with Adam's eviction? Should it have been Priscilla or was it wrong that she was even in the bottom two? One thing is for sure, everyone has to step it up next week because the people in the middle can't skate by any longer. We start picking them off next Tuesday. So who do you think it will be? Post your theories and guesses below and we'll see who is right next time.

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POLL: Who is your pick to take home the trophy? Vote here.

Still seething from the eviction of my beloved Mahoney and reeling from the embarrassment of totally getting fooled by the most obvious April Fool's joke ever, I decided to let it all go and move on! Who knows, maybe I'll have a new favorite after the night is over. After all, the paso doble is my second favorite dance and anyone can viennese waltz their way into my cold, black heart. It could be tough though because I'm sick and as cranky as Len on his worst day — so let's chew on some D-List stew!

Kristi — Although Mark is still suffering from sporadic open-mouth syndrome, this was a great dance. I'm running out of nice things to say about them since every week is exceptional. If she's not in the final two, the voters failed her.
Paso Doble 29 (grrrr looks like Len is cranky again!)

Cilla — I realize that someone injected motor oil into this poor woman's face (or something crazy like that), but I don't think the excessive amounts of make-up she wears really helps. I wish they would ease up on the eyes and soften her hair. Just being on screen in HD is hard enough so let's try to help her out. Anywho — despite Carrie Ann getting all strict about the "lifts" again, this was a decent dance. As I said before, she's the same every week.
Waltz 22

Adam — A lot of people got all bent out of shape about his remarks last week and I don't get it. This guy is a goofball — hence the Zorro mask and unicycle — so nothing he says should be taken seriously. Neither should this dance, which wasn't very good. He may have hit his peak last week.
Paso Doble 19

Marlee — She didn't look very sure of herself this week. She said she wasn't having an easy time with it and it seemed to show by the look on her face. She's also someone who I would say is good every week, like Cilla, but isn't wowing me. Why is Carrie Ann crying? We're only 36 minutes in and she's already irking me.
Waltz 24

Side note: I didn't realize Marlee was on The L Word until, in a fit of boredom, I turned on an episode over the weekend. If you want to see her making out with that chick from Flashdance, get Showtime. Fast.

Mario — My one disappointment with this dance was the choice of song. "Higher Ground" (the Stevie Wonder version, not the Chili Peppers remake) would definitely not be my pick for the bull-fighting pasa. Regardless, I thought he was very commanding and rocked that puffy shirt something fierce!
Paso Doble 24

Jason — It was not a great dance for the football star. Why do the judges love him? I don't get it at all. I didn't think it was sexy — it was awkward. I'm not saying it was terrible but I was really disturbed how Len and Carrie Ann could put him on such a pedestal when Mario has been blowing him away. I'm really peeved. No way was that up to par with Kristi's paso. The fix is in! Two 10's, really?? He tripped half-way through! If you're with me please shout out!
Waltz 29

Cristián — Thank you wardrobe people for that lovely open-shirt ensemble! Meow! I thought this dance was better than Jason's by far. Luckily, the judges didn't trash it or I would have flown through the TV and smacked them square in the face! Oh yeah, I'm on fire now!
Paso Doble 26

Shannon — Leave it to DWTS to capitalize on a good injury (ahem, Marie fainting)! How many times do you think we'll see the grimace on his face when his neck snapped? Do they really tape practices? They're just waiting for something to go wrong, aren't they? Anywho — the injury didn't hinder Derek from performing and Shannon delivered a beautiful waltz. If she can improve in the Latin dances, she could hang around for awhile.
Waltz 28

Marissa — Please, just get her out of my sight. Maybe it's the raging chest congestion talking, but I didn't think this was good. I'm so over her. Was this dance really good enough to tie Mario? I think not!
Paso Doble 24

Well I must say this was a rambunctious round! Cristián came back from the dead, Jason stole the judges hearts (and my patience, sanity and general good mood), Mario continued to get a raw deal and Marissa wasn't in last place. What do you have to say about all this? Was I right about Carrie Ann and Len or have I had too much Sudafed? Who is your pick to get the boot? Will I fast-forward through Sheryl Crow tomorrow night? You be the judge because I don't have much confidence in the big three anymore! Let's chat below and don't forget to stop back here tomorrow to share your thoughts on loser #4. See you then!

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This must be a cruel April Fool's joke! Mahoney Steve gone? Surely there is some mathematical error. I am completely heart broken right now. Gone — after his best dance yet? And Marissa is still here? I don't understand it one bit. He even got the encore dance! Best man dance ever. At least I have that to remember him by. So long, Steve. I hope to see you on an ABC show this fall because you deserve it!

What does everyone think of the new policy of not revealing the bottom two? I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand, I found it refreshing because it did add a bit more suspense to the elimination process. The reveal that Marissa was safe in the middle of the show had me wondering who the unlucky contestant was. However, leaving Mario and Karina at the end with Anna and Mahoney Steve was pretty predictable. On the other hand, I think we need to know who the bottom two is so we know who is in jeopardy and who to give our votes.

I loved the segment on the unorthodox hobbies of the stars. How very Cilla of Cilla to have a psychic hotline. As much as seeing Kristi down those hot dogs was a surprise, Shannon serving as the president of the MacGyver fan club for a whole decade was the best reveal of the show. Well, Richard Dean Anderson is pretty awesome.
**Blogger's note: Ok I was totally fooled by this. If I was paying attention to the whole segment instead of writing during it, I would have realized it. Hopefully! I am the biggest April Fool! You can all feel free to make fun of me in the comments section below!

Kylie Minogue sang a new song off her album that I've never heard of and, most likely, never will again. But she did sing "Can't Get You Out of My Head" which was one of my favorite songs back in 2001-ish when I was in college. One note and I was instantly transported to a random dance floor in X fraternity at Penn State where I was most definitely drunk and chain smoking (fear not, I've since quit). A hint of stale beer and day-old vomit filled the air as I slurred "Dis is ther bessstt song everrrrrrr!" Thank you, Kylie. Thank you.

I'll be honest and admit I skipped the Macy's dance for tonight. I don't think you need me to recap this for you. If you didn't see it, I'm sure you didn't want to anyway. I will say that in fast forward it looked rather lively.

Well that's it for week 3 of the competition. I'm very disappointed but what are your thoughts on our beloved Mahoney Steve getting the axe? Who should have gone in his place? Please chat throughout the rest of the week as we gear up for the next round. See you then!

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Poll: Who do you think will win? Vote here.

The tango and the jive are two of the liveliest dances in the ballroom repertoire, so I knew we were in for an interesting night. The tango is by far my favorite (the pasa doble is a close second) because of the fire and emotion and the jive is entertaining because there is a lot of movement. But they are not just entertaining, they are challenging. The tango must be tight yet look effortless and the jive is crazy yet the movements must be controlled. There were some hits and misses tonight, so let's get to it!

Marlee — I was anti-Fabian because he took over for my beloved Maksim, but he really won me when he screamed in her ear "Can you hear this?" That was hilarious. My only concern is that they were a bit out of sync tonight. It seemed he was a step ahead of her. They have to rely on other senses to work together, so I think in the coming weeks they will be able to get it together.
Jive 21

Mahoney (aka Steve for those of you under a rock) — This was by far an improvement from last week. He carried a lot of emotion in his face (though he usually does) and he may need to tone that back just a bit, but this was his best performance in terms of technique. Hopefully this is the start of a roll for him because I can't get enough of him and want to see him around.
Tango 21

Cristián — When in doubt, show some body! Those were some killer arms and since he was in the bottom two last week, he needed to pull those babies out to get some votes. Sadly, he needs votes and that surprises me because he's very good. I thought this was a solid performance and given the chance he could do a lot more. So throw a vote or two his way if you can spare it!
Jive 25

Mario — I love the Moulin Rouge version of "Roxanne" they danced to because it has such intensity. I didn't think Len was right when he said it was a mess, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was expecting a lot more from them. Regardless, he's still fantastic and he's in this competition for the long haul.
Tango 21

Shannon — The flapper dress worked, but this was not as good a performance as last week. The jive is a tough dance and it's early in the competition so it could have been a lot worse for her. Bruno was right about working on her finish and precision. But Len, he thought that was good and Mario's tango wasn't? That's a big stretch.
Jive 24

Adam — Was it me or did this go pretty well? It was a decent tango. I was very shocked. Is he starting to care about this competition? Doubful, but at least he's not tanking it on purpose. He's putting effort into it and I respect that. I think he'll make it past this week.
Tango 21

Marissa — This was her third week with a fast-paced dance so I'm ready to see her do a traditional ballroom dance. These fast ones aren't working for me and although they don't stink, she's not distinguishing herself in this great pack of dancers. At this rate, I'm not sure she'll see next week.
Jive 19

Shameless plug time! Tonight it was Eli Stone. They both looked peeved to be there. Do you think ABC forces them? They must.

Cilla — This dance worked for her because she's a dignified woman with a lot of pride. However, I wasn't very inspired by it and didn't think it was very entertaining. Has she hit a plateau? I'm wondering what else she has to show us since it seems like she does the same dance every week. It's good, not great.
Tango 26 I thought this was high.

Jason — He gets good feedback, but I see an awkwardness in all of his dances. I actually agreed with Len on this one, a bit sloppy and not so much action. He continues to score well so unless he's not getting enough of the fan vote he'll be back for more.
Jive 23

Jeff Probst? Where did he come from? Isn't he on CBS? I guess since Survivor doesn't compete with DWTS in the ratings, it is ok to pop in and lead us into a commercial. It was a bit odd though.

Kristi — The dancing was great but I thought her face lacked expression and Mark's face had too much. I dig Mark a lot but it was pretty distracting. The only thing missing from the dance was intensity on her part. Other than that, it was fantastic.
Tango 27

I'm not one to say this often, but that was a fast show! Next to Marissa, there really wasn't a bad performance tonight so it's anyone's guess as to who is going home tomorrow. Who will you be voting for? Who is going home? And what was Len on tonight? Please share your thoughts and chat with us as we await the next eviction.

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All the magic in the world couldn't keep Penn Jillette and Monica Seles in the competition. Good job, America. I wonder how long Adam Carolla will hang on? Marissa and him may be hanging on by the skin of their teeth.

In the midst of the hour-long fluff that is the results show, I started thinking about what a colossal waste of time it is. Do I need two performances by the Jonas Brothers? Do I need to see people flying in mid-air? No, I don't. With the sixth installment under way, I must say this show is in need of a makeover. So let's get a discussion started: What do you want to see changed for next season of Dancing with the Stars? Maybe if we make enough noise, ABC will listen. Mmmm…not bloody likely. But at least we can say we tried! Here are a few of my suggestions:

• Enough with the fluff
Those two hour shows could easily be 90 or 60 minutes if they cut out the intro pieces before the contestants dance. Another option would be to considerably shorten them (do I need to see Karina and Mario practicing on the beach?) or only pick a few contestants to profile per week.

• The Samantha Harris Solution
I don't despise her like some most of you do, but her interviews after the performances are pretty pointless. At the very least, they are far too long. Just show me the scores! I don't want to see her disappear altogether, but Tom doesn't seem to need much help hosting so I'm at a loss as to what to do with her! Maybe just put her on the results show. Speaking of which…

• The results shows are too long
With the exception of finale night, I don't see why this show needs to be more than 30 minutes. One performance in addition to the encore dance is enough and the remaining twenty minutes can go to some recaps, interviews (where Samantha can come in) and the elimination itself. Sorry Macy's.

• Less is more
Dare I say it, but I think 2 installments per television season is one too many. Fans are fickle and we don't want the viewers getting tired. It would also help to keep it fresh and leave us wanting more. If that isn't an option, I'd like to see fewer contestants per installment. This could allow them to add more of that fluff they love so much without packing on the minutes.

What are your thoughts? Are my suggestions valid or ridiculous? Give me your feedback and offer some suggestions of your own. Remember, we don't do this to pick on the show but because we want to see it continue and remain entertaining. We have some time until the lights go up in the ballroom again, so let's get to chatting!

POLL: Who's your favorite? Vote here.

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