Top Chef

Here's the thing: I still don't like the behavior that Ilan exhibited in the last few episodes, and some of the comments in this finale were inappropriate. I kept saying to myself: "Just worry about yourself for a change. Stop saying Marcel's name!" There was just too much trash-talking coming from him; I just wanted him to stop. But I have to go on what I was feeling at the time the announcement was made. When Padma told Ilan that he was the Top Chef, I was genuinely happy. But that's not to take anything away from Marcel. Like Tom and the gang said repeatedly, he was the one that took more risks with the food. But, unfortunately, when you take big risks, the failures are that much more apparent. Meanwhile, Ilan depended heavily on his Spanish-influenced background. Kind of safe, but it did the job. It was probably just the way things were edited, but throughout the episode, I kept changing my mind as to who was going to take the title and win the "grudge match," as Marcel so aptly put it. For the final time this season, let's break things down:

Selecting the Sous-Chefs
Poor Mia and Frank. I really thought that Marcel was going to go with Mia, she seemed very excited to be there and it felt like she really wanted to be a part of things. But no, she and Frank were again shown the door, never to be seen from again. Marcel's team consisted of Sam and Mike, while Ilan chose Betty and Elia as his sous-chefs. I was worried about how Marcel was going to work with Sam and Mike. I still think Sam should have been in the finals, so it had to hurt to have to sous-chef for one of these guys. Mike knows how to take direction for the most part, so I didn't think it was a poor choice for Marcel to go with him. I just don't know if it was the best choice he could have made. With Ilan, I was really, really worried about Betty. I know the two got along really well and would work well together, but she's a wild card. Don't know if she's the strongest one to have by your side. I'm going to give the slight edge to Marcel here, just because he has Sam. Elia's strong, but Sam's the entire package and Mike can take direction.

Shopping/4-hour Preparation
It was great that for this challenge the chefs simply had to make the best meal they've ever made in their life. No pressure, huh? Anyway, I love that there were no restrictions, so they both got to go to town at the Farmers Market. Later in their respective kitchens, everything seemed to go smoothly for both teams. I was completely impressed with Marcel. He and his team worked very well together, it was cool. I thought maybe Marcel can get along with other people; it was nice to see. Ilan was all super-excited about his angoulas, wasn't he? And then he was all holding it back as a surprise for Tom Colicchio. I'm sorry — just make sure your dish is going to be the best thing anyone's ever tasted before creating unnecessary hype over a dish. It's like Elia calling her burger "The Best Burger Ever," and then it ends up being just meatloaf on a bun. There's no advantage here. Everyone's acting like a team.

1-hour Final Preparation and Plating
Well, Marcel's anti-social side came roaring through and his team just seemed to fall apart. It's what I thought was going to happen from the very beginning. If you don't have the respect of your sous-chefs/fellow finalists, it's going to hurt you in the kitchen. Not maybe, it will definitely. Ask Tiffani from Season 1. Betty seemed to flub up a little bit, but it didn't seem to be all that damaging. Advantage here goes to Ilan.

1st Course:
According to the judges, Marcel won this battle. His uni in Meyer lemon gelée was the hands-down winner over Ilan's much anticipated, but not so well received angoulas appetizer. The judges thought it was just OK.

2nd Course:
This is where Marcel gets into trouble, and is probably why he ultimately lost the competition. He really wanted to show his style of cooking. You know, the lab-type style that he often falls back on — his chemical cookery, if you will. His dish is a salad. But not just any salad. The vinaigrette's going to be encapsulated in some sort of thin layer of sugar. Our main man Colicchio already warned the chef about how humidity can cause his experiment to fail, but Marcel remained the optimist. Well, unfortunately for the 26-year-old, he fought humidity and the humidity won. So all that was served to the judges was a salad. A not terribly exciting salad. Advantage goes to Ilan for his pan-seared moi with macadamia-nut gazpacho.

3rd Course:
According to the judges, this course was a toss-up. Ilan had his version of surf and turf (squab and shrimp), while Marcel served up his kampachi-less hearts of palm dish. The kampachi was back at the kitchen where they prepared everything, so Sam helped Marcel improvise and it turned out wonderfully. The judges literally said they had never tasted anything like that before. Wow. I really thought he was going to tank right there when he said they served all the ingredients, just without the fish. But the judges fell head over heels with his hearts of palm dish. Meanwhile, the judges also worshiped Ilan's course.

4th Course:
Both Ilan and Marcel served up beef for this fourth course. The judges were impressed with what Marcel presented — they loved the artistry of the dish. I have to admit to being impressed, as well. That was the dish that I really wanted to sample right then and there. Well, that and Ilan's dessert (but more on that later). Advantage: Marcel.

5th Course:
This advantage went to Ilan. He knew he wasn't an expert when it comes to desserts, pastries and the like. So he decided to go with something simple. Marcel whipped up a blini with Kona Coffee caviar (coffee: what a shocker!) and a Hawaiian chocolate mousse. It seemed like the judges thought it was fine, but Ilan's tangelo soup with Hawaiian fruit, Surinam cherry sorbet and bay leaf fritter totally wowed all the judges in attendance (and there were many). Advantage: Ilan.

Judges' Table:
Guest Chef Hubert Keller, Tom, Gail and Padma thought both meals were great, but, of course, they wanted to learn how well the Top 2 had worked with their sous-chefs. Betty and Elia had all good things to say about Ilan; meanwhile, Mike and Sam were mixed. Plus, Sam got to take some of the credit for the innovative hearts of palm dish the judges just loved. The advantage here was definitely Ilan. However, when Ilan and Marcel had to explain and defend their choices, I do give the advantage to Marcel. In the end, they just felt that even though Ilan is two years younger than Marcel, Ilan's the one ready to be a Top Chef. I just didn't like Marcel's concession confession: "I thought it was going to take more than saffron and paprika to beat me, but I guess not." Ouch.

Congratulations, Ilan! And now I'm left hoping that Season 3 goes back to being drama-filled, but fun. There was a little too much trash-talking and over-the-top dismissals. Plus, there was that freakin' shaving prank. Could have done without that.

Other thoughts:
— I'm not going to say much about Marcel getting stung and then having to pee on his hand; it just reminded me of that one Friends episode with Joey, Monica, Chandler and a certain jellyfish sting.
— I loved it when Sam said he'd be able to at least learn from Marcel and his chemical cookery ways; after all, Ilan's just going to cook Spanish-influenced cuisine like he always does.
— What happened between Elia and Marcel? Marcel was her boy the entire season up until last week and she spoke out against him again at the judges' table, this time without Ilan's prompting (or so we were led to believe). I was a little stunned she was still speaking out against him.
— Bravo voters also selected Ilan to take the title over Marcel.

What are your thoughts on the finale?

Disappointed, much? I kinda am. Thankfully, the competition did become more about the cooking, but I was still disappointed the chefs just couldn't make it an entire episode without trying to sell Marcel out. And I was disappointed that Marcel's behavior all season long was validated with a spot in the Final 2. I know, this is a show about cooking and not about personality, but I still feel that you can have a winner that's talented and somewhat pleasant to be around; I guess I just shouldn't expect that from anybody in Season 2. And as much as I liked Ilan at first, his unrelenting focus on Marcel totally turned me off. But, the two stepped things up in the first part of the Hawaii challenge, so they're the guys who'll be going for the gold in next week's finale. It's been two months since the contestants last saw each other and not much seems to have changed — except for the fact that Elia's hair is growing in, while Sam got a haircut. Plus, Elia's now being more vocal about her Marcel annoyance. Let's break this down Final 4-style:

Marcel:
Even before hitting Hawaii, we got a little peek into the lives of the Final 4 at work and at home. If it had been anyone else I probably would have thought Marcel's whole culinary-geek thing that he had going on during the brief visit to Las Vegas was cute. I mean, I do appreciate his passion for studying and researching the science of food and experimenting with different ways of adding flavor and spice to dishes as well as relating his excitement to diners. But at times, it seems like he almost takes the fun out of cooking, with his over-thinking and his deconstructing and his hey, hey, hey. However, poor Marcel can't get away from Ilan — he had to sit next to the guy on the plane to Hawaii. Of course, they were in first class at the time, so who really cares who you're sitting next to as long as you're in first class, know what I mean? Ilan thought he had gotten past all his resentments against Marcel, but no go, so you knew we were going to be in for Marcel vs. the World: Take 6. Down in Hawaii, he did take risks with his dish, adding things that I can't spell or pronounce in order to increase the quality of the dining experience. And his presentation of the food was just plain pretty. It all paid off for Marcel. His Hamachi Poke with pineapple poi especially wowed the judges. I can't believe the judges didn't say anything about his creating another foam, but oh, well. They all mentioned how Elia relied too much on her Mediterranean influences and Ilan fell back on his Spanish-style cooking (he's a line cook for a Spanish restaurant). After hearing the words "tomato" and "foam" together, a groan at the very least would have sufficed. That's what I did, when I heard those words. Padma tried to throw everything off by complaining that his poi was too runny, but I knew pretty much right away that Marcel would be moving on to next week.

Sam:
I still can't believe Sam didn't make it to the finals. Even though the guy has tool-like tendencies, he seemed to be the most consistent all season long. Although, I never realized that while Sam won the most quickfire challenges, Ilan won the most elimination challenges. Where have I been? I really thought Sam was a shoo-in for next week, and he was my pick for champion. I should have known better, because I almost never pick the winner. In Hawaii, it seemed Sam had three things working against him: 1) Tom Colicchio felt he was playing it safe with his dishes (Opakapaka Poke with seabeans and his mascarpone mousse). Playing it safe certainly didn't work for Cliff — this was a time to take risks; 2) Neither of his dishes was cooked. Major points off; and 3) America voted him fan favorite. Sure, Sam's 10,000 bucks richer, but it was a consolation prize. I guess there was no way he was going to be a fan favorite and a finalist. Plus, in my book he got more points off when he and Ilan tried to talk to Elia about ratting out Marcel and his questionable behavior. Of course, I had hoped she wouldn't take the bait and make herself look stupid. Boy, was I wrong.

Elia:
Wow, was there ever a more overly confident person? Where does she get all that cockiness from, huh? Her food looked great, and I'm sure it tasted great, but she went way overboard with the whole "spin on a Hawaiian dish" mandate. She completely disregarded the fact that the meal should still maintain some sort of traditional Hawaiian influence. And why is it only now that she's letting Marcel get to her? Again, with the way things were edited, she seemed to overreact a little bit with Marcel. I still feel like we're not getting the entire picture, because these chefs go ballistic on and about Marcel, but sometimes it doesn't seem warranted. There has to be something we're not seeing. Elia was probably going to go home anyway, but the minute she uttered, "I didn't want it to taste Hawaiian," she was a goner. Don't pass go and don't collect $200. To let herself be manipulated into that last-ditch Marcel-bashing was just sad, even if some of what she said was true.

Ilan:
Again, I have to express my disappointment with Ilan, because all he needed to do was focus on himself and his food. But any chance he got, he tried to needle Marcel. He did impress me — out of all the chefs' dishes, I wanted to snag a sample of his the most. Using the taro leaves was a brave choice — a risk that paid off, despite Padma's "scratching" on the back of her throat. And his version of the Haupia dessert looked awesome. Don't know how the saffron would have translated for me personally, but the dish looked all sorts of fried goodness. When Padma compared it to the funnel cake, I was sold. But, Ilan, please stop the trash-talking. Please stop the instigating. Please stop looking like a punk. It's not cool. And I don't know what purpose it served to push Elia to whine about Marcel. It just made you look desperate and sad, and again made Marcel look like the better man.

Other thoughts:
— I loved how nice Guest Chef Wong was. It was like a refreshing sorbet that cleansed the palate of all the bitterness and smirks and general badness that went on this season.
— When Marcel went on and on about his dish explaining everything to the diners, he so reminded me of our favorite sommelier (Stephen) from Season 1.
— I kind of loved the fact that Sam was afraid of the helicopter ride. So cute.
— At the end there, Tom was very positive with the chefs. It was nice to hear.

Did you think Marcel and Ilan would be standing at the very end? I have to say that I didn't. My guesses were Sam and Elia, so I was pretty much 0 for 2. Next week, it's a battle for the ages — two season-long enemies looking to take the other down and snag themselves the title of Top Chef. See you then.

"We do have a competition here, and we want it to be about food."
— Tom Colicchio

Really? Here's the thing: I signed on for a show that was about cooking, with a healthy side dish of drama. Instead, all we're getting is some needless drama with a little sprinkling of actual cooking. In order to include the ridiculous "shaving Marcel's head" prank, we had to lose much of the quickfire chocolate challenge, plus much of the shopping and the prepping of the food and plates for the romantic elimination challenge. I know that this is reality TV, and its main staple is drama with a capital "D." Am I an idiot for loving the process by which the wannabe Top Chefs are required to create these fancy-shmancy dishes on very little notice — without a whole hell of a lot of time — and expected to make them sing with flavor and taste? I don't want to see hours and hours of time devoted to one subject: Marcel. I just don't! And I'm not only blaming him: The behavior of all the finalists was inappropriate, childish and just plain unacceptable. After I watched the hour, I literally had to step away from my computer for a few minutes so I could calm down before starting to write this column. I don't think it did me any good. It's the last elimination challenge before Hawaii. I guess I thought we'd actually get to see some chefs dazzle us with their culinary skills. Based on tonight's episode, these competitors do have talent — I would have liked to have seen more of that. But maybe I'm in the minority here. It just feels like the producers pinpointed Marcel as the big story right from the beginning and ran too far with it. I understand where they're coming from — they thought he was going to be a compelling character — one of those villains you love to hate. But he's not. And I don't. He's the one that's been needling everyone since day one; and everyone's been outwardly affected by him. Almost all of his fellow finalists have at one point lost focus and let themselves get caught up in all the Marcel mayhem. Is this a plan the 26-year-old has been fostering on purpose? If it is, then kudos to him. I just don't want to watch entire episodes devoted to him and his snide comments and silly smirks. And now I'm furthering the Marcel madness by devoting much of this column to how he's been the source of much viewing displeasure. Boo.

Now on to the prank: the elimination challenge was over, and the finalists went back to their "swingin'" pad where most of them proceeded to start drinking. Elia thought it would be fun to shave her head à la Sinead O'Connor. Ilan did the deed first, followed quickly by Elia — who didn't look that bad after all was said and done. I haven't seen a woman shave her head on national TV since Joyce did it on The Amazing Race. I remembered being awed by Joyce joining the bald fraternity. I was surprised that Elia did it — and I loved the way she took off the wig in her confessional. But what I hated was what happened afterward. The whole "let's shave Marcel's head" fiasco was uncomfortable, totally uncalled-for and a prank that went too far. Why would Cliff manhandle Marcel like that? Drunk or not, he went too far. Marcel's a stick, and Cliff's not a stick. And it was clear that Marcel wanted nothing to do with the entire exchange. Plus, no one came to his defense. Sam was just sitting there. He, of course, didn't want to be that guy, but standing by doing nothing is almost as bad as the person who's violating another person like that. Almost. Where were Ilan and Elia during this portion of the evening? Then we get treated to a tough visit from Tom Colicchio. It made me think of when Tim Gunn had to visit the Project Runway designers to give Keith the boot. What Cliff did was against the rules, and Tom was forced to send him packing. Cliff took it well — he knew the rules, after all. And I like the fact that he apologized to Marcel's face and confessed that he regretted what he did. He's still unbelievably stupid for going out the way that he did, but at least he didn't mess up his exit with whines and denials. I just hate the fact that the second season of Top Chef has resulted in two people quitting and one getting asked to leave. That's not what I want to see in one of my favorite reality shows.

Let's actually talk about the food: In the quickfire chocolate challenge, I was way scared of Ilan's chocolate truffles with chicken livers. Huh? What was he thinking? I'm no connoisseur and am one of those people that can eat chicken livers. But with chocolate? No way, no how. With Elia, I feel she thinks too much about taking risks. Why did she feel the need to cook two dishes? Not necessary. Guest Chef Eric Ripert said she would have won had she cooked one dish. And not the one that mixed the chocolate with the chicken. Sam won and that gave him an advantage in the elimination challenge. Padma told the chefs they'd have to cook a five-course romantic dinner for celebrating couples. Because of Sam's earlier win, he was given the chance to choose which course he wanted to whip something up for. Plus, he also earned the chance to pick the protein — none of the other challengers would be able to utilize the same protein that Sam chose for his dish. The dish I really wanted to taste the most was Ilan's fideos with clams and saffron. I did have a problem with the fact that Marcel couldn't find any time to help Sam or Ilan, and I hope he wasn't surprised that nobody wanted to help him (although Sam did in the end). Cliff's fatty and sensual version of romance didn't win over the judges or me. The sirloin was rare and bloody and it looked tough to cut — that certainly doesn't scream hearts, love and general schmoopiness. And what do puréed lentils have to do with romance? It turns out Cliff would have been eliminated anyway; he didn't have to go through the extra bother of being kicked off. Gail seemed really pleased with the way the romantic dinner unfolded: She said it was the best food they've had all season. Meanwhile, Tom liked the food; he just didn't get that romantic vibe from the dinner.

I've been pretty quiet when it comes to Padma this season. But, I have to say that I wasn't feeling her in this latest episode, especially at the judges' table after Cliff went home. First, she asked Marcel if he was OK and apologized to him. That let Marcel wallow knee-deep in the shallow end of the smugness pool. Padma also said that she wanted to see what Marcel could do in Hawaii, so then you knew no one else was getting eliminated. I truly despised this whole focus on Marcel and the idiotic prank. He got to stand at the judges' table and act all smuggy smuggerson and that makes everything that happened that much more sad. Is it me or does there not seem to be any sort of reunion for this latest Top Chef cast? What gives? The one for Season 1 was probably the best reunion show of any reality show ever! Was this cast too volatile to bring back together? Would you even want to see one? Is Bravo waiting until a later date? Inquiring minds (like mine) want to know.

Sam, Elia, Ilan and Marcel are going to Hawaii. I'm going to say that Sam and Elia will be the final two, with Sam and his full head of hair taking the whole thing. What are your thoughts on who the winner's going to be?

I have to give a shout-out to Mike: He got much farther than I ever thought he would. Plus, last week, he made Top Chef history by sweeping both challenges. But, it's fitting that in a week where the elimination challenge resulted in such underwhelming results, the guy with the "lazy" attitude was forced to pack his bags and go. Mike's definitely not your average reality-TV finalist. So, even though his laid-back style seemed unnatural in such a heated competition and this style often annoyed me to no end, ultimately, he was refreshing, because we're used to seeing all these type-A personalities clashing with each other to rise to the top. He wasn't like that. Just look at what he said before he walked off into the sunset: "It's cool to stay cool, you know?" It's nowhere near Season 1's best quote ever: "I'm not your bitch, bitch." But I'll take it.

The episode starts off with Marcel in exile on the roof. I just want everyone to stop thinking about Marcel and instead focus on what they need to do to win the challenges. That's what Marcel's doing; at least, that's what he's doing when he's not writing his awesomely bad rap. Or is that awfully bad rap — you be the judge. My favorite line: "I don't even get stressed because at the end of the day, my food is f---ing soignée!" Wouldn't you know it, Marcel actually taught me something, because I had to look up the word "soignée." Should I have admitted that?

Quickfire: Create a snack using Kraft mayonnaise and other Kraft products.
Guest Judge: Mike Yakura
I immediately thought that Mike was going to rule the roost with this challenge and make it three in a row, but no dice. There were two winners announced: mucho mayo-lover Sam and not-so-macho Marcel. And since there is no longer immunity, their reward played into the elimination challenge.

Random thoughts:
— I think I would have wanted to try Sam's dish the most out of the six remaining finalists.
— I really wanted Michael's crab and brie quesadilla to work, but I'm with the guest judge: There's no way, no how that was going to taste good. (I paraphrased a little bit.)
— It served Ilan right that his ridiculous "homage to Marcel" (in the form of foam) backfired. Let it go, Ilan.

Elimination: Create a restaurant concept and menu, and then execute it with your team.
First of all, this was a really difficult challenge! Since Sam and Marcel were the quickfire winners, they were the "captains" of the two teams required to go out and create an instant restaurant in 24 hours. I thought it was pretty interesting that Sam chose Ilan over Cliff. It turned out to definitely be the wiser choice, but I still thought it was interesting. And no surprise that Marcel chose Elia.

Sam, Ilan and Mike:
Again, Sam's team seems to make decisions smoothly. They name their rustic Italian restaurant "lalalina" after their significant others: very sweet. It seems that none of the guys have any front-of-the-house experience, so it's up to Ilan to make sure things go smoothly with the designer, who has to turn their concept into a pleasing environment for diners overnight. Is it me, or did it seem like the designers for both teams weren't able to finish the job before time ran out? I guess it was all in the editing, but when we saw that there were five minutes left, the rooms were nowhere near completion. Ilan was also the one to make sure all the diners were happy and taken care of — big mistake. Another mammoth mistake: not serving wine. What were they thinking? Running out of money for wine was unacceptable. Mike had a hundred dollars left over from his money. He did nothing with it and headed back to headquarters. He ultimately paid for that. There was one dish that I was not surprised didn't work, and that was the watermelon gnocchi. I just couldn't picture this concoction, and it totally backfired on Sam. The diners automatically connected with lalalina's menu; it just seemed like the main reason M.E.C. got any customers was because lalalina had to turn people away.

Marcel, Elia and Cliff:
First this trio decided to go with a Mediterranean restaurant called "Medi." But for some reason, they take Elia's new concept of an upscale diner called M.E.C., and they run with it. Methinks they should have stuck with their first idea, but, oh well. Cliff anoints himself master of the front of the house. As much as I like Cliff, I do hate it when he gets all demanding, especially when it turns out that he's a flop at making sure all the diners are happy and well taken care of. And as usual, Cliff doesn't crack a smile when it was much needed. Marcel and Elia seem to have an unspoken alliance and end up complaining about Cliff and his attitude. If Elia's going to call something the "Best Burger Ever," it better be the best burger ever. With a name like that on the menu, it's no wonder the judges were out to prove that the dish was nowhere near perfection. I don't think this team was given credit for their beer or root beer float concoctions, however. They at least offered their diners an alcoholic beverage.

The judges' table was very vocal and extra critical, with good reason. None of the diners seemed to have had a great experience. Cliff left the judges waiting! The food was heavily criticized, even though there were favorites like Ilan's meatball appetizer and Marcel's vegetable tempura. Both desserts were disasters — especially the watermelon gnocchi. Gail was back and so were her extra tart, extra bitter opinions. Tom Colicchio again stated that it just seems like the chefs are not playing to win, they're playing to stick around. The guest judge was as vocal about his disappointment in the results as Tom, Gail and Padma. Overall, it was a very underwhelming performance for both teams, so no winner was declared and anyone could leave. Padma et al. made it seem like Cliff might be the one to go, but in the end, they rightly gave Mike the boot. Tom felt like he shortchanged the team and was also being carried by the team. And even though I'm glad Tom finally realized it, it seems like a conclusion that should have been reached well before now.

This show had a two-week break, but it felt like more of a six-week break. Am I wrong? It really felt like the last new episode was ages ago. So, needless to say, I'm beyond happy we can get back to the business of finding out who's going to be the next Top Chef, and I am very grateful that this was a supersize edition. Everyone seems to despise Marcel, and Betty got the boot. There's so much to talk about:

Elia: At the beginning of the episode she brings up the fact that she was almost eliminated and had no idea why Mia did what she did. Did they actually let her know that it was her name that was going to be called? Tom Colicchio's recent blog let us all know it definitely would have been Elia that got the boot. But at the time of the actual elimination, did Padma reveal everything to the chef wannabes after Mia exited stage left? And, I guess once you "pack your knives and go," you really hightail it out of there. Because, apparently, there was no time for Elia to talk to Mia about the sacrifice that she made. Interesting. I can't wait for the reunion; Mia better be there.

Michael: Whoa. If anyone would have ever told me that Michael would win both the quickfire and the elimination challenges, there's no way I would have believed them. That's a Top Chef first this season, isn't it? Like Tom said, maybe he should get his tooth pulled every day. Kudos to Mike for stepping up to the plate in a big, big way. Clearly, salmon is his forte; he won both challenges based on the lushness and succulence of his fish. But, someone, please teach this boy how to speak in public. Seriously, he needs to learn how to enunciate his words in a manner in which I can understand the story he's trying to tell. However, it kinda sucks for him that he finally wins the quickfire but doesn't get immunity. Finding that out probably hurt worse than getting his wisdom tooth pulled.

The Marcel bashing: OK, count me as someone who thinks Marcel has some very weasel-like tendencies. If I were in the same room as him, I don't know if I'd be able to not verbally attack him. I'm not present in this pressure-cooker of a situation, so I just have to call it like I see it. There was too much bashing going on. At one point, I wanted to turn down the volume just to get a little break. I'm not saying that none of it was justifiable; I'm just saying that too much attacking and not enough cooking was getting on my last nerve. And at times, I actually felt bad for the guy. It wasn't just Sam and Betty. Ilan went all hardcore anti-Marcel and it was just too much. What's the worst thing that can happen after all this bashing? Having people feel the necessity to defend the cranky chef annoys me to no end. Padma and Elia did it, plus it always seems like Tom wants Marcel around. It's like the 26-year-old amuses him. Or it amuses him that this kid is able to set everyone off, who knows. But there had to be a defense in order to balance all that bashing. Marcel is self-serving. He thinks the way to win this competition is to basically make a nuisance of himself. He hasn't impressed me all that much during this competition. But when you have me wanting Betty, Sam and Ilan to lay off the guy, there's a problem.

—Sam vs. Marcel: I have to say that when everyone was coming up with a game plan for the seven-course dinner, I didn't mind Marcel taking his time to make sure he chose the right thing. Yes, they're on a time crunch, but everyone just jumped in so quickly and sometimes you have to just think about things for a second. And then at the store, Marcel was causing trouble again, trying to make it seem like accepting a discount was not proper behavior for a Top Chef wannabe. Sam started talking about him, knowing Marcel could hear him; a passive-aggressive move that's pretty lame. Just go straight to the confrontation, that's a lot more honorable. Loved Marcel pointing out how ironic it was that Sam chose "wrath" as his deadly sin inspiration.
—Betty vs. Marcel: This has been going on all season long, and I'm tired of it. Those Betty confessionals are grating. Stop giving Marcel the power; just worry about yourself. She needed to, after what she served up as "sloth" in the seven deadly sins portion of the competition. You can't gussy up soups in flutes if the weird combos don't taste good. I was not sorry Betty was eliminated. It was time for her to go. During the quickfire, she messed up "green" for heaven's sake.
—Ilan vs. Marcel: Where did Ilan get such anger? Part of me wonders if there's some major stuff going on that producers don't have the time to show. Ilan got really personal, especially when he attacked Marcel's love life, or lack thereof. Making sure to mention the little tidbit about cherries not helping someone's libido was low, bro. Keep the dirty laundry — or dishes, in this case — in the kitchen, please.

I know it probably sounds like I'm defending Marcel, but I'm not. I still think he was his weaselly self, and I don't think he's shown enough to actually win the show. But it was all far too much Marcel for me. If he wasn't on, everyone was talking about him. However, all the dysfunctional drama made for good television, and the hour-plus episode zipped by so quickly. Some other quick mentions:

— So funny when Betty talked about Marcel always using a foam on every dish he created; then Padma said the same thing, too.
— It was even better when Mike noticed Betty's fascination with soup: "Get off the soup, Betty!"
— I'm still wondering why Cliff's bouillabaisse had such little broth.
— Marcel uttered one of those tried-and-true reality-TV cliches that I can't stand: "I'm not here to make friends." Ugh.
— I wonder if Marcel channeled our favorite sommelier Stephen (from Season 1) when he served the wine at dinner?
— Even though I knew he was going to be on the show, I still loved seeing Ted.
— Do you think producers knew Cliff was color-blind when they came up with the quickfire task?
— Don't know why, but I laughed when they mentioned that Extreme's guitarist was present and accounted for at Debi Mazar's party.

Topics of Discussion:
— What did you think of all the Marcel-bashing?
— Were you happy to see Betty go?
— Bravo wants you to vote for your favorite chef, and the winner will receive $10,000. Who would you vote for? Who do you think will win? (My choice is Cliff; Sam will probably win.)
— What did you think of Entourage's Debi Mazar and her party? I thought she was raunchy and fun. She didn't hold back.
— Who wants Ted to permanently join the show? I do.
— Right now, I'm thinking Sam and Elia are going to be the top two, with Cliff coming in third. What do you think?
— Congrats to Top Chef on getting a third season!

First of all, they showed Mia a lot in this episode, so it pretty much seemed like she was the one who would go; I just didn't think she'd go the way she did. I really, really don't like it when reality-TV contestants quit (unless it's for something that happens in their personal lives). I just don't. So, Mia's departure was very unsatisfactory. I just like it when things play out like they're supposed to play out. And I don't think Elia should have gone home, either, but if that's what was supposed to happen, then it should have happened. Mia's the second Top Chef contestant this season to take the decision out of the judges' hands, and that's just crazy to me. It makes me think of all those chefs who wanted to be on the show and would never have quit.

The Quickfire challenge: create an original Bailey's cocktail along with a small snack
Winner: Cliff
Guest judge: Kristin Howard, award-winning mixologist

Am I the only one that thought that this mixologist was way too blunt? She made me feel sorry for Betty, and that's not easy to do these days. The first thing I thought of when I heard about this challenge was that this has got to be right up Mike's alley. And sure enough, Mike said he had tons and tons of bartending experience, so there you go. And he did come through: His "Tasty Lacy" drink, plus the cherry ice-cream sandwich, looked delicious. It did seem like the chefs were trying to come up with fancy-shmancy dishes and drinks when all Ms. Howard would have been happy with would have been Bailey's on the rocks and a mini-cheeseburger. So it's not surprising that she chose Cliff's concoction (Bailey's, rum, vodka and vanilla bean) and his dish that consisted of grilled beef, crème fraîche fondue, nutmeg and chocolate. She told Mia that her presentation for her drink (Chocolate Mama — does she have to add "Mama" to everything she makes?) was "pretty basic." But she was way harsh with Betty, whose drink was admittedly curdling at the top. The way she said she was afraid of the drink, however: "Maybe it tastes good.... But it doesn't." Ouch. She wasn't impressed with Mia and Betty; on the flip side, she felt Cliff, Sam and Michael definitely impressed, with Cliff getting immunity.

The Elimination challenge: cater a Christmas party for $1,500
Winner: Sam
Substitute judge: Queer Eye's Ted Allen (yay!)
Guest judge: Lee Hefter, executive chef for Spago Beverly Hills

The group of eight are immediately broken up into teams; the Black team is Elia, Cliff, Mike and Mia, and the Orange team is Sam, Marcel, Betty and Ilan.

Of course, one team runs like a well-oiled machine while the other team bumbles and stumbles all over themselves. Color me crazy when I realized that it was the team with both Betty and Marcel that wasn't the troubled group. The Orange team seemingly did everything right. They immediately elected a leader (Sam), then came up with a very ambitious menu. They thought up something like 13 dishes to serve the partygoers — I was very impressed. I agreed with the guest judge: They seemed like they were working with a $5,000 budget.

Watching the Black team was an exercise in frustration. They did everything wrong, from beginning to end. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like they decided their menu first, then, after they shopped for all their ingredients, they elected Elia as their leader. Elia and Cliff seemingly decided that they would go with quality over quantity — why, I have no idea. They wouldn't even listen to Mia. In Mia's defense, she did try to get through to them, but they weren't having it. Eventually she did the wise thing and sucked it up and worked with her team. Four dishes. I still can't get over the fact that they only cooked four dishes. In what world is that acceptable? It doesn't matter that the judges thought that two of their dishes were the best ones out there.... They still didn't have enough to feed the party. Obviously, there was a lot of demand, and they didn't have the supply or the manpower to cover said demand.

My favorite part was when Tom Collichio played a "mixologist" of sorts — he decided to mix things up and stir up a little trouble. After he found out that they were only making four dishes, he then unloaded the fact that the Orange group had come up with 13 dishes: "Do you think that was a mistake?" I don't care what Cliff said, they had to be worried. Their "quality over quantity" shtick was just not the way to go.

It was definitely clear that the Orange team was going to win this challenge, although one firework exploded at the judges' table after they announced the winning team. I know Marcel was just trying to secure the win for him, but when you have a team that blew the other team away, it's the winning leader that's going to get the bulk of the credit. But Marcel just couldn't let it go. What did he think he was going to accomplish by saying that he didn't need leadership? That was just wrong and made him look desperate.

As for the Black team, Cliff had immunity and Mike coasted by once again. It was going to come down to Elia or Mia. As manager, Elia was probably going to be told to pack her knives and go. But Mia threw herself under the bus in order to allow Elia to stay. Boo. Plus, things got really heated between Mia and Cliff. I know Cliff needed to actually listen to other people's opinions, but the yelling was just unnecessary. I see that Mia's passionate, but there's a point where it's just too much.

One more minor thing: the Bravo poll of the week asked people to vote on the sexiest Top Chef wannabe: Sam, Ilan, Elia and Betty. I'm a little upset that Cliff wasn't one of the choices. I'm just saying.... Although I still like Cliff, I'm going to keep an eye on him for the next couple of weeks. He's been letting more and more of his cocky side out every week. Only thing is, he seems to be able to back it up with his culinary talents.

Topics to Discuss:

—What did you think about Mia quitting?
—What did you think of Cliff in this episode? Is he getting too cocky?
—Mia vs Cliff: who was in the right?
—Who do you think the sexiest Top Chef wannabe is?

Was it Opposite Day on Top Chef or what? Sam, Cliff and Frank ending up in the Bottom 3? What gives? I did enjoy seeing the women in the Top 3, even though Elia continues to bug; but she's turning into quite the contender. Mia, Betty and Frank ended up in both the Bottom and the Top 3 during the episode. Luckily for Betty and Mia, their success happened in the elimination challenge. However, in my opinion, Frank was toast the minute he said that he was "on a roll," and I believe he uttered those words a minute into the show. It's like when Carlos said that he was A-OK with being in the middle, the middle was safe. I'm sorry, but when you're in the Bottom 3 with Cliff and Sam, just call it a day. There was no way those two were going home. At least one or both of those guys has a good chance of being in the finals. I had no problem with Frank going; I can't believe he's gone before Michael, but I had no problem with him getting eliminated.

I also enjoyed that in the middle of these high-pressure challenges, we got a serious dose of the laid-back beach vibe. The chefs cooked for surfers; the guest judge was a chef and a surfer (he was so nice and didn't have anything really horrible to say); Padma, Michael and Marcel had their best Spicoli voices going on at various points during the elimination challenge; and Tom Colicchio on the beach in those shades, need I say more? Mike was hilarious when he was talking about Marcel mackin' on the 14-year-olds. I've gotta admit that Marcel trying to talk the same language as the surfers smacked of the unpopular kid trying to fit in with the cool kids, and it just wasn't working.

The Quickfire: Create a mouth-watering entree in 30 minutes, without cooking any of it.
Winner: Marcel
Guest Judge: Raphael Lunetta

Ilan had a problem with Marcel's watermelon steak — I kind of did, too. I thought it was innovative and the presentation was great, but didn't think that it would go over as well as some of the other dishes. Obviously, I didn't get to taste any of the dishes, but I really thought Elia's ahi tuna concoction looked right up my alley. I have to say, though, I liked anyone who didn't try creating a salad for this challenge. That seemed too easy to me — so sorry, Mia. I did dig the confessional insults between Mike and Frank: Mike said he hoped Frank would go home, and Frank felt Mike was a hack. Looks like Mike had the last laugh. And Marcel needed this win, but did he have to do the elimination dance?

The Elimination: Cook a breakfast for some mystery athletes.
The Catch: They find out what kitchen equipment is available only when they get to their destination.
Winner: Elia

Well, I had really hoped that Mia the barbecueologist would have pulled out the win here, especially since her Mama Mia's crab cakes benedict in a mango cream sauce was the surfers' favorite dish. I thought that would have counted for something. Elia's dish looked awesome, too, so I can see why she won. I was just hoping that the judges would recognize Mia's dish. This challenge started, and you literally saw that the women had everything under control. Meanwhile, the men were a bit flustered, even the usually unflustered Sam and Cliff. Mike forgot his eggs but was able rely on the kindness of his competitors, starting with Betty. He's one lucky dude — he would have been gone had he not gotten eggs from them. Gail was on the warpath about rubbery, brown or burnt charred eggs, wasn't she? I mean, I totally agree with her, but she wouldn't give that up. And I loved Tom's explanation for why Sam, Cliff and Frank were in the bottom 3: They couldn't recover with style. Again, it was clear from almost the beginning that Frank was the one that was going to go. The judges said Sam's flavors were there, but the execution, not so much. They all said that Cliff's dish was good, just sloppy in presentation. Why would Frank choose to make a quiche when the Quickfire was all about cooking with limitations, e.g., sans heat? I don't get it. Sometimes you have to stop being all pretentious about your dishes and recognize the art of simplicity.

Topics to Discuss:
— Marcel's elimination dance: Cute or cocky?
— Were you shocked by who was in the Bottom 3?
— Does Elia have what it takes to win the entire thing?
— Gaining Strength: Elia
— Mixed Results: Betty
— Did what he had to do: Marcel
— Needs to get his act together: Michael
— No need to worry just yet: Cliff and Sam

In honor of Thanksgiving, I'm going to give thanks to this latest crop of Top Chef hopefuls for being so freakin' dysfunctional. Thank you for Marcel's arrogance (seems to be the word of the day with a few of these chefs); Betty's temper; Carlos' mantra that middle is good; Tom Colicchio's sheer frustration with this bunch; Elia's chocolate meltdown after losing the Quickfire challenge; Anthony Bourdain's colorful critcism; and, well, thank you Mike, for just being Mike.

Quickfire challenge: Make a tasty dish using canned goods
Winner: Sam, Cliff, Ilan, Frank & Mia
Guest Judge: Tom Colicchio

Loved Tom judging this challenge — I'm a big proponent of using Tom as much as possible. It was clear that those who chose to make some sort of salad with the canned food ingredients were going to have the most success. After all, they only had 15 minutes to complete this task. The show mixed things up by granting five of the chefs immunity: Sam, Cliff, Ilan, Frank and Mia. Last week, I wrote that she needed a good showing. And in the midst of telling us how she and her mom were once homeless, Mia stepped up to the plate with her 15-minute salad, earning her immunity and a day off. I guess I get where Elia was sort of coming from; Tom admitted he liked both her fruit salad and the beef hash — he just didn't think those two should have been served together. This odd pairing landed her on the loser's list and it sent her on a whine-filled journey that we were forced to endure.

Elimination Challenge: Make Thanksgiving Dinner — but give it an innvoative twist
Winner: Elia
Guest Judge: Anthony Bourdain

The task for the Bottom 5 was to cook Thanksgiving dinner for Tom, Gail, guest judge Anthony Bourdain and the Top 5 in four hours. The dishes had to be cutting edge, less traditional and more avant-garde. Unfortunately, most of the chefs forgot about that part of the competition.

Marcel: With his turkey roulade and cranberry gelée, he was the one chef who at least tried to adhere to the rules of the challenge. All the judges recognized this, they just didn't completely like the execution.

Michael: He seemed to go for broke in the most non-innovative way ever, creating turkey and egg toast canape, 2 different potatoes, a corn and a cheese plate. How classic was it when Bourdain praised his twice-baked potato despite it's "absolute Flinstonian execution?" He even seemed astounded at Mike's delusional belief in himself; and couldn't help admiring him for that. I loved all of his comments regarding Mike — they were hilarious.

Betty: She's disappointed two weeks in a row. This time she let loose with her creme brulee and when confronted with the fact that her dessert was neither creme brulee nor was it particularly innovative, she actually said that that's not her thing — comfort food was her thing. I know she probably just couldn't come up with a valid defense for her creation, but come on. This is Top Chef, not Comfort Food Chef; being well-rounded is the name of the game. Plus, she laid blame for her dessert on the fact that she elicited the help of two other people and that she should have done it all herself. What? Betty's quickly gone from a contender to someone that's barely holding on in two short weeks. She's also letting her temper get to her and — I can't believe I'm saying this — she's overreacting when it comes to Marcel. Sure, he's an annoying presence on the show, but he's starting to win some of their arguments and it's not making her look good. It also doesn't help that the judges asked her for her thoughts on who should go home and she didn't name names until everyone else had named names. Saying it with such "convction" after the fact doesn't mean she went out on a limb, it made her look kind of sad.

Elia: She pretty much whined the entire hour. The whole chocolate facial and the licking of the whisk was more weird than comic relief. Plus, she acted so arrogant that she actually questioned Tom's preference for Cliff's Quickfire dish. That's unacceptable in my book. Sure, she won this elimination challenge for her mushroom soup. But it seemed like a hollow victory; it seemed like the judges had to award it to someone, so they gave it to her because it tasted good; not because it was cutting edge.

Carlos: Somehow got stuck with the salad course. He pretty much took four hours to put together what Anthony labeled "pedestrian." He channeled his Episode 1 behavior (read: arrogance) and at one point blurted out: "Be Nice!" I understand he needed to defend his dish and his use of time, but the attitude was not cool and so I agree with the judges: he had to go home.

Topics to discuss:
—Betty vs. Marcel: who do you think won the latest battle?
—Has Betty peaked?
—Why does Mike keeping getting saved from elimination?
—What did you think about Sam sort of instigating a confrontation between Frank and Marcel over the toiletries on the floor? Did Frank overreact? Was Marcel in the wrong?

—The contenders: Cliff, Sam & Ilan
—Fading fast: Betty
—Needs a win: Marcel

For those of you not up to speed on all things Top Chef, Bravo's showing a Season 2 marathon Thanksgiving day.

We all knew there was going to be a double elimination; I just didn't think it was going to be this week, until three teams did so horribly in the elimination challenge. Josie and Marisa were both forced to pack their knives and leave the competition. I was simply happy that Marisa got her walking papers. But after Josie's "talented" comments about herself, I was actually glad she was given the boot, too. And speaking of Josie and Marisa, when in the world did they become BFFs? I didn't have one clue that they were tight until this episode. And, of course, saying that in the first five minutes of the show all but guaranteed their elimination. Unlike the guest judges that sometimes pop in on American Idol, the ones on Top Chef are real contributors to the process, and I've loved pretty much every one. Tom, Gail and guest chef Michelle Bernstein were very vocal and, might I add, kinda cranky. I think they had every right to be. But first, let's start things off with the Quickfire challenge.

Quickfire Challenge: Create a dish using leftover parts
Winner: Sam
Guest Judge: Michelle Bernstein — owner and chef of Michy's in Miami and consulting chef for Social in L.A. and Miami

On other reality shows, if there are pigs' feet, beef cheeks and veal tongues lying around, it's a good bet contestants are going to have to eat them raw. At least on this show, all the finalists have to do is cook the suckers. For the first time in about three weeks, no one was upset about this particular task. Even Mike confidently said he knew what flavors go together; but based on his history, I had my doubts. Marcel used pigs' blood as an ingredient in his — how funny was it when Betty mentioned something about how he looked like a vampire? (Does that mean we can consider her Betty the Vampire Slayer?) You can tell when the judge doesn't like a dish. They'll question one of the chef's choices, say something like, "OK, thanks," and then quickly move on. It was easy to come to the conclusion that Josie and Elia's leftover dishes were not going to be contenders for anything other than the Bottom 2. Sam's sweetbread and scallion beignets, complete with a Chinese five-spice and sweet soy broth, impressed Michelle the most for being delicious, beautifully executed and innovative. Even though I didn't dig Sam's behavior in last week's show, I was happy that the guy won. I guess sometimes I just can't hold a grudge.

Elimination Challenge: Cook for actress Jennifer Coolidge and her 60 friends at Social Hollywood using the remains in the fridge and some other products
Winning Team: Mike and Ilan
Winner: Ilan

The chefs had to divide into pairs and cook a six-course meal for Stifler's Mom and 60 of her friends. I thought the show was going to figure out a way to get Betty and Marcel together. But they actually left the task of choosing a partner up to the chefs, so there was no renewal of their rivalry. Betty did team up with Mia, however. This is an interesting choice, since Mia sold her out in last week's challenge. I guess Betty is still none the wiser. Still, I can't believe Marisa had the nerve to talk about Mia's character. I loved Tom announcing that, after last week, he was staying in the kitchen to keep an eye on things. Is it me, or does he seem to be getting frustrated with many members of this group? Cliff and Sam seem to be the dream team, while the oddest pairing may be Mike and Ilan. But guess what? They both did good with their dishes (Courses No. 2 and No. 3, respectively) and were shoo-ins for the Top 2. Guess what else? Mike and Ilan's seafood paella won, with Michelle selecting Ilan as the winner who gets to help her at the South Beach Wine Festival. But talk about going from zero to hero, Mike finally learned what it's like to be at the top. Good for him. For the first time, he was acting coherent and competent. He finally made the effort to be part of this competition. The Bottom 3 consisted of Betty/Mia, Elia/Carlos and best buds Josie and Marisa. The judges were pretty brutal with their assessments of their dishes. They also seemed beyond frustrated with the lack of communication and weren't afraid to question what all the chefs were thinking. The judges had no time for Betty and Mia's under-cooked puff pastry. They couldn't figure out why Elia and Carlos couldn't concentrate on just one delectable dessert instead of three. They particularly had a problem with that pomegranate-juice shot — apparently the juice tasted like it had been sitting out all day. But they all seemed to have the biggest problem with Josie and Marisa's "Awakening Trio." It's another case of trying to do too much but ultimately doing too little. I couldn't help laughing when Gail pointed out that they had three hours to prepare their course, and they didn't actually cook anything. It was obvious the judges were going to take their frustrations out with a double-elimination shocker. Although, come on, it really wasn't much of a shocker.

Topics to discuss:
— Do you think Tom's right? Are the finalists just trying not to lose? After all, Josie did say that she never realized how comfortable the middle was.
— What did you think of this double elimination?
— This week's shining stars: Cliff, Sam and Ilan
— Down, but not out by a long shot: Betty
— Needs a good showing next week: Mia and Elia

What's with all the cheating on Top Chef, huh? First Otto, now this. Here's a question: When is it the appropriate time for someone to speak up about fellow contestants possibly cheating? Right when you see the alleged infraction? Or when it's time to get your proverbial butt out of the frying pan of elimination? That latter tactic has worked on Top Chef twice now. Marisa didn't have to go home even though she deserved to, and now, no one's going home this week. You know what? I hope that means we're about to get a double elimination soon. And if I were Carlos, I'd lobby to get immunity for one more challenge. After all, he won the Quickfire challenge, but since no one went home, having immunity really meant nothing.

Quickfire Challenge: Create an amuse-bouche in 30 minutes
Winner: Carlos
Runners-up: Frank and Ilan
Guest Judge: Former Food & Wine Best New Chef Suzanne Goin (owner and executive chef of Lucques and A.O.C.)

Here's the kicker with this challenge: The chefs had to get ingredients for this amuse-bouche from the vending machines! I really commend them for being able to whip up something edible in 30 minutes using things like Corn Nuts and Doritos. My favorite part was when the show identified Mike's Cheetos and Snickers concoction as "cheese puff set in a chocolate candy bar." Speaking of Mike, how in the world is he still on this show? He keeps saying he wants to be there, but it's clear that he doesn't. He comes up with excuse after excuse as to why his food is bland and icky, but I don't think anyone's buying it. After he came up with squat in the vending-food department he said, "Screw the Quickfire today." Hmm... and then he wonders why awesome guest judge Suzanne Goin thinks he acts like he doesn't want to be around? She met him for like five seconds and came up with that assessment. Carlos stepped up and won the challenge with his inventive sunflower seed and carrot loaf that used Squirt as an ingredient. He's pretty much been off my radar since Week 1, so way to go, Carlos.

Immunity Challenge: Prepare an entrée, a side dish and a dessert for kids at a weight-loss camp; the entire meal cannot exceed 500 calories
Winner: Frank
Runners-up: Betty and Marcel

Wow. Yet another really difficult challenge. First of all, Betty and Marcel working together: that's very convenient, Top Chef producers. When the teams went grocery shopping, Marcel immediately tried to go with asparagus wrapped in prosciutto; meanwhile, Betty felt pizza would do the job. Let's fast-forward to the judges' table for a moment. When Betty, Marcel and Frank were asked who thought to cook pizza for the kids, Frank took the credit. But we were shown that it was Betty who actually came up with the idea, Marcel suggested sausage (turkey), and Frank suggested Italian chicken sausage. Am I just splitting hairs here? Frank should have won anyway, since he made the pizza; I'm just saying that he may have not initially come up with the idea. I'm just going by what we were shown.

I don't know about the chefs, but those nutritionists watching the calories add up made me nervous. Most were like me, however, impressed with what the groups were able to put together. I have to give it to Marisa — she scored with her fudge cake. Why did Mia and Marisa let Mike represent their team with the kids? It seemed like he was channeling the late Chris Farley when he played the inept talk-show host on SNL. You know, the one who always nervously uttered, "That was awesome." I loved those kids at the weight-loss camp; they were really savvy — especially when talking about the Orange Team's smoothie. Plus, this line cracked me up: "I want to go marry the hot diabetic over there."

So, I'm not sure how I feel about Sam bringing up the supposed cheating and then not naming names. And then there's Mia who did name a name and then didn't have the courage to 'fess up to her throwing Betty under the bus after a stern Tom told everyone they were safe. Tom seemed like he didn't know what to do with these people. It seemed like he really wanted to go off on so many different levels, but since they didn't really know if any cheating occurred, he kept things reined in. And I believe that was Cliff chugging Pepto-Bismol while everyone argued after the judges' table. I love him.

Topics to discuss:

— Betty's cookies: did she know what she was doing, or did she just misunderstand the rules?
— Was it fair not to send anyone home?

How 'bout that judges table, huh? That's what I'd call a rough session, brutal even. Plus, a line between the comfort-food experts and the fine-dining experts seems to be materializing. Last week, the comfort- fooders had a tough time with the sushi challenge; this week, the fine-diners are nervous because it's time to make some ice cream and a dish fit for TGI Friday's customers. But, a Top Chef must be diverse and, basically, be the entire package. So, whether it's food for the masses or food for the so-called "elite," these chefs need to know how to bring it every time. Advantage: repeat challenge-winners Cliff and Betty.

Quickfire challenge: Create an original flavor of ice cream for the man (or, in this case, kids) on the street
Winner: Cliff
Runners-up: Sam and Carlos
Bottom 3: Marcel, Emily and Marisa

My man Cliff won his second quickfire challenge in a row by knowing what the masses really want: cookies and marshmallow. It's not surprising that even though he claimed to have never made ice cream before, this kid-friendly concoction went over big. I really want to question Marcel's bacon and avocado combo. What was he thinking? That is someone who clearly lives in an entirely different world from everyone else. Loved the kids wiping their tongues with their napkins after sampling his ice cream. And Ms. Smug Pastry Chef herself (Marisa) is now 0-for-2 on desserts. She continued to stay on my bad side by confessing that she didn't think Cliff's winning had anything to do with the quality of his ice cream. What in the world does that mean?

Love that Sam succeeded in this challenge, especially since he's diabetic and doesn't eat or make ice cream. I'm putting him up there with Betty and Cliff as far as the really strong chefs who have shined in this competition thus far. However, I will forget that he ever said, "In it to win it." (Uttering these words is a big reality pet peeve of mine.) Emily apparently hates kids and doesn't really want to have anything to do with comfort food. We'll see how that bitter 'tude works for her in the next challenge.

Elimination Challenge: Create a dish for a TGI Friday's customer (and serve their dishes to firefighters)
Winner: Betty
Runners-up: Cliff and Sam
Bottom 3: Emily, Michael and Frank
Guest Chef: Stephen Bulgarelli, Sr. Director/Executive Chef, TGI Friday's restaurant

This challenge was even more important because the winning chef would have their entree featured on the Friday's menu. You'd think Mike would have a little bit of an advantage here, since he used to work at the restaurant as well as other restaurants much like TGI Friday's. Nope. Betty vs Marcel is shaping up to be quite the rivalry: She's a comfort-fooder, he's a fine-diner. Marcel also seems to be one of those teeth-clenchers; he talks without opening up his jaw more than a quarter of an inch. Bet he unclenched his teeth when he heard Betty go off on him. Do you guys think she was right to just call him out for being a complainer? I did think he could have just solved the problem of the deep fryer instead of whining and complaining, but that strong of a tirade seemed to come out of nowhere. Of course, Marcel didn't pass up the chance to bask in Betty's grill trouble. I think that if he had to be obnoxious, he could have been more quiet about it.

Sam's summer fruit-salad definitely seemed innovative, even though, at first glance, it didn't seem like the type of food the firefighters would go for. But they did. I think it didn't ultimately win because it was a little too out there. Not Frank's "Wonderland Mushroom Fantasy" out there, but a little too innovative for a Friday evening at Friday's. Betty served the firefighters grilled cheese with spicy roasted-pepper soup and won the elimination challenge for the second week in a row.

I hope the chefs in the bottom three wore thick skins for the judges table, because they were already thinking that not many of these dishes were "cravable." They called Michael's cheesesteak dish "sloppy," questioned his passion for cooking and wondered how he managed to screw up a steak sandwich. After all, "A steak sandwich is a steak sandwich." Tom, Gail and the guest chef felt Frank's was poorly executed and too conceptual, while Emily's surf and turf was overly salty and inedible. You really can't fight the whole "inedible" label, so Emily — who found herself in the bottom three of both challenges — packed up her knives, along with that perpetually sour look on her face, and went home. It was a toss-up for me as to who deserved to go more, Michael or Emily. I kind of wanted to see Michael gone, too.

Topics to Discuss:
— What did Elia say was the reason she and Marcel get along? I couldn't understand what she said. She seemed slightly proud of the fact that she's the only one who gets along with him.
— Didn't the "food for the masses" challenge remind you Project Runway fans of the assignment wherein the designers had to create an outfit for the "everyday woman"?
— Who do you think isn't getting enough play so far? Is there someone that you think is maybe too under the radar at this point?

To keep the lychees or to return them? That is the question. Part of me (the evil part of me) was thinkin' Otto's mistake was telling Marisa they may have accidentally pocketed the crate of lychees for free in the first place. Before we get into the nitty-gritty of this scandal, I have to say I've never heard the word "lychee" uttered so many times in a one-hour period; it was positively dizzying. And is it "lee-chay" or "lye-chee"? Since Otto was the only one committing to "lye-chee," I'm gonna go with everyone else. Anyway, yes, it was a problem that Otto's conscience didn't let him return the goods immediately. But am I the only one who really, really hoped it'd be Marisa who'd get the boot? By the end of the episode, I was almost willing to overlook Otto's lapse in judgment in order for her to "pack her knives and go." Her crimes: 1) her not taking complete responsibility for her gelatinous disaster of a dessert (when Chef Ming Tsai called it "a hockey puck," I laughed so hard); 2) her twisting Otto's words to make them seem even more damning; and 3) that smuggy-smuggerson look on her face when Otto was confronted with his mishandling of the situation. Sure, the producers may have used a little creative editing and snuck that smugshot (new word) in there, but at one point she had that look on her face. And for that, I wanted her gone. Harsh? Maybe. It took him longer than it should have, but at least Otto finally came around and took responsibility for what he did; I was a bit shocked he took himself out of the competition. I may have been misreading this, but it seemed like Tom had it out for Marisa and her dessert. Bet he was ready to eliminate her.

Quickfire Challenge: Make Sushi in 30 Minutes
Winner: Cliff
This was such a difficult challenge. Beyond difficult. I take my hat off to Michael for creating a dish even though he had never prepared sushi before. I was totally impressed with all the wannabe top chefs for making their dishes look good and, for many of them, taste good, too. All this activity came after an obscenely early 4:30 am wake-up call and a trip to the fish market. Josie was two for two in this episode. She said sushi was "her thing" and she was well versed in the ways of Vietnamese food (see Elimination Challenge). Frank knew the proper way to greet guest judge Chef Hiroshi Shima, who's the Corporate Executive Chef for Katana and Sushi Roku — a restaurant I love, by the way. I am so happy Cliff won the challenge.

Elimination Challenge: Teams Must Make One Hot Dish and One Cold Dish in a Korean or Vietnamese Style
Winner: Team Vietnam and ultimately Betty
Why is it that in reality-TV competitions, it always seems there's one team that has its act together and one that's totally, utterly a mess. Team Korea came up with the genius idea to drink sangria while coming up with their menu. I appreciate a nice glass of sangria as much as the next person, but while you're coming up with the all-important menu for the challenge? Don't think so. The chaotic group did manage to wow the judges with their spicy braised pork as opposed to Team Vietnam's pork pho. Loved how Gail made sure she asked who was responsible for Team Korea's dessert, or should I say, who was to blame for the dessert. From the beginning to the end of the challenge, it was clear Team Vietnam was going to win, even though the judges made it seem like the competition had been more balanced. Betty's contagious smile put her team over the top, plus they came up with the cool cucumber-and-aloe refresher the judges (especially Padma) seemed to like. Josie's "rah rah" perkiness was a bit grating at times, however.

Frank scored some points with me when he not-so-eloquently scolded Team Korea for its lack of cohesiveness: "It's a team. And if you don't back your teammates, you might as well shove your head up your ass." Well said, Frank, well said. And, finally, kudos to my sister as well as SmilingFan35 for calling out Marcel's Wolverine 'do. You two are so right.

I was kind of depressed after finding out who won Project Runway, so right about now I really wish I had some of Mia's Southern fried comfort food to keep me company. Aside from that, it's such a good thing that Top Chef is back for Season 2. A new host, new parameters for our man Tom Callichio and Season 1 winner Harold all made for a good episode. Not quite sure if I'm going to dig these finalists as much as I enjoyed last season's dysfunctional group, but I'm willing to reserve judgment and make that call at a later date.

Topics of discussion:
-Is Marcel the new Stephen?
-What do you think of Padma?

Right off the bat, it seems like Marcel has that arrogant, cocky thing going for him. He doesn't have that upturned nose and "does something smell" expression on his face that was just so Stephen, but he's already seeing himself as the resident threat. Give him a little time and he'll be lecturing everyone on the benefits of being a sommelier and the origins of the turnip. By the way, during Season 1, I wasn't a big fan of Stephen's, but I grew to love him. I think it was because of that reunion episode!

As for Padma: I say, Mrs. Joel who? Sorry, I just really thought Padma brought some life to the festivities, not to mention the fact that she's drop-dead gorgeous. Tom's ditched the mentor duties, I think. I say "I think" because even though he's now strictly the head judge, he still seems like he's trying to do a little mentoring. Bringing back Harold as guest judge was very cool. He looked a little bit nervous, but he contributed to the conversation and the critiques.

Let's talk about the contestants. Apparently, there's no one in the Midwest suitable enough to compete for the title of Top Chef. Everyone worked in New York, California or Las Vegas, with only Carlos branching out and doing his chef thing in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. What's up with that? So far, Mia, Betty, Frank, Ilan and Emily (along with that constant sour look on her face) are impressing me. However, I'm sure my assessment will change every week. We got our first drunken finalist (Michael); our first crash and burn (Suyai); and that Marisa girl. It's Episode 1 and already she's yakking about how she will use her sexuality to her advantage. Boo. Save that for The Bachelor or Hell's Kitchen. We don't need that on Top Chef; you just need to be able to cook. We also get the first declaration of not being here to make friends, but being here for the food (Marcel). I'm sure we'll get the "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win" variation next week.

Quickfire challenge (winner gets immunity): Create a flambé dish
Winner: Sam.
Marcel's banana and avocado concoction intrigued me and it was unfortunate that Suyai didn't know how to flambé. Lesson of the day: It's difficult to flambé using red wine. Sucks to be Elia.

Elimination challenge: Use mysterious box ingredients and make some meals
Winner: Ilan
Did you guys think that the orange team had it out for Marcel? I think he deserved it just a little bit, but probably not enough to land him in the bottom four. Poor Suyai. Just like Tom said, she didn't seem ready to be in this competition. In the quickfire challenge, she didn't know how to flambé, and then she exhibited some confidence issues that crushed her chances to move ahead. She was the logical one to go, but I have to admit that I liked her and really wanted to see her back for one more week. I was actually pulling for Carlos to go home, on the other hand. He was all about his four-star this and that; I can't believe he whipped up some sort of potato pancake covered in Velveeta (that's what it looked like). He's lucky that Suyai ruined her chances by admitting to defeat when Tom came around to assess everyone during the challenge.

Some other thoughts:
— I have a feeling that every other word out of drunk Mike's mouth is going to be "killer." For some reason, he reminds me of Larry Joe Campbell from ABC's According to Jim.
— You think they'll bring Tiffani back at all?
— I loved Elia going off on the American cheese.
— Loved the Season 2 preview. Again, don't know if I'm going to like this cast as much as last season's. I mean, I don't think we're going to get anyone to give us something like emotional Dave did. How classic was it when he uttered: "I'm not your bitch, bitch." That was one of my all-time favorite lines. But, it looks like things are going to get interesting with the new cast, so I'm looking forward to the coming weeks. Hope you are, too.

OK guys! I hope there are Top Chef fans out there. Next Wednesday the 18th after the Project Runway Season 3 finale, the next season of Top Chef begins on Bravo. Let me just say I'm really excited that it's back on the air and can't wait to start watercoolering it.