America's Got Talent

Piers, Sharon, The Hoff and Jerry are back in Atlanta to start off week four.

Billy Dodson - He's big, he's burly, he's imposing. He gets on stage and sings...soprano? Three quick X's.

Alex Pyles - A 10-year-old cutie with a great southern accent. She comes out on stage with her father, and they perform a combination of acrobatics, gymnastics and self-defense. I mean, they are hurling each other around the stage and kicking the you-know-what out of each other (with very light contact). Piers gives 'em an instant X. Sharon and The Hoff are intrigued. Piers asks a very valid question: how can this act help you win the competition? Sharon asks if Alex and her Dad are sent on to Vegas, how can they build upon this act in the upcoming weeks? Alex: "I would bring in more people and fight off more attackers because it's not always one person who attacks you." Can't argue with that. She wins Sharon over and they're headed to Vegas.

Sarah Lenore - She comes out with her guitar and belts out Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats. She's pretty good. Sounds like Carrie, too. Gets a standing O from the audience. She off to Vegas, but Sharon gives her some advice: "You've got to work on your individuality, Dawg. There's a lot of blond, young, pretty girls who sing and play guitar." [actually, she didn't say Dawg.]

Flambeaux - Does a pretty impressive fire show for the judges and the audience. He takes a swig of something and breathes a lot of fire. The judges love it.

Nichole Romana - A pole dancer. Amid all the annoying cutaways, we see about six seconds of her routine. She's better, though, than the duo called "Gravity Plays Favorites" that pole danced last week and has a similar figure to the pole. To Vegas!

Giwayen Mata - A dance troupe dressed as if they are right out of the tropics. Just a few seconds of the routine is shown, but Hoff loves it and they're going to Vegas.

SQ Entertainment - A group of 11 young men [all cousins] that do a high-energy hip-hop dance routine. The audience loves it and so do the judges. Hoff says they could go far in the competition if they put on new outfits and "class it up."

The judges are back in New York...

The James Gang - A nattily-clad foursome from Harlem that does a great, jazzy song and dance routine. Backstage, the judges agree they are very Broadway and one of the best acts they've seen.

Victoria Jacoby - Originally from China, precious 11-year-old Victoria was adopted at six months old. She comes out very cool and calm. She does contortions and flexes her body about every possible way you can imagine. At one point, she literally bends over backwards for the judges and then corkscrews herself and drinks from a glass — by lifting it up with her feet. Impressive. I don't know the staying power of this act all the way to the finals in Vegas, but she's headed there.

Polka Today - Matt & Elaine from Staten Island say they're the creators of "Polka Today", a high-energy blend of country, swing an ballroom dancing to Polka. They met at a Polka dance, and fell in love on the dance floor. Awww. A cute story, but, this isn't Love Connection, so let's see what'cha got. Ack! As Piers put it, it's like Polka from the '50s. Not only three X's, but all at the same time.

Mr. Phil - Three quick X's while he — dressed in a red plaid blazer — sings some wacky song about doing a dance called the Mr. Phil. Gone.

Peter McIntosh - Ah, a ventriloquist. Last year's winner, Terry Fator, was a ventriloquist, and a very good one. Not Peter. First of all, he moves his lips rather emphatically. Then he says something to Piers that triggers the NBC bleep button a few times. Gone. But Sharon did describe him as "barking mad." Is that a compliment?

Then it's a few quick looks at some acts that are triple X'd. Ursula Knudson, whose singing brings Hoff to call her act the worst he's ever seen; Rachel Star, who steps on broken glass while repeating the phrase "nothing you've ever seen"; Debra Weiner sings Martha & The Vandellas' Dancing in the Street poorly, and doesn't quit when she gets three X's. So Hoff goes on stage and escorts her off. Backstage, he's a bit frustrated at the low level of talent and wants to be "blown away."

He may be about to get his wish...

Kyle Rifkin - He had a rough childhood and had to become the adult in the family at a young age. Growing up, he made money by begging for change or singing. He gets on stage and sings Ain't Too Proud to Beg by the Temptations. He's in tears even before he starts singing, and breaks into tears when he's done. In between, he's spectacular. He gets a standing O from Hoff. Piers asks him to bring his mother out on stage, and now Jerry is in tears. Piers: "You are right up there with the best we've seen." He's going to Vegas.

Just an hour-long show this week, but a lot of talent. — J.R. Whalen

Piers, Sharon, The Hoff and Jerry embark on week three of scouring the country looking for the USA's best talent.

Remember, the contestants who get the nod move on to Vegas. The ultimate winner collects $1 million and a Vegas contract.

This week we start in Dallas (where, by the way, ventriloquist Terry Fator was discovered last year).

Corky Duke - does some kind of cowboy contortionist routine. Three quick X's. But, you know what? He can kick kind of high.

The Rodeo Rhythm Kings - Three cowboys (oh, right, we're in Dallas) playing the violin, bass and geetar. They also tried to harmonize. X-X-X.

Then a quick series of rejected acts: a guy jumping off a horse, a woman trying to catch hula hoops,a guy snapping and clapping his fingers.

The judges and the Springer-ized energetic audience appear to have seen enough.

Holly Hardin - She's nahn-TAY-in (19). Sings These Boots Are Made For Walking and the audience is buying it. No X's, but Sharon is not in love with her singing. Piers likes her, but she's got Sharon and The Hoff perplexed, and they leave her hanging. After the break, Sharon reiterates, "you have such a nice personality" (Sharon apparently has been on the dating circuit lately) and Piers gives a second shot to sing something — how about Dolly Parton? She belts out a few bars from 9 to 5 and the audience convinces Hoff and Sharon to give dear Holly a ticket to Vegas.

Duo Genesis - An acrobatic team. Pretty impressive, holding each other up with one hand. On to Vegas.

Lewis Warren, Jr. - Finally, a kid to charm our panel of judges. Lewis, 11, gets behind the piano (keyboard) and plays like a classic pianist. Wow. This kid's good. And he's headed to Vegas. Piers: "You've got talent pouring out of you."

Shaolin Warriors of Chinatown - A combination of street fighting, acrobatics and dancing has the judges fixated. Hoff votes "su", as what would be said in Chinese (sounds like 'suh'). They get the nod.

Beyond Belief Dance Company - A 22-member dance group. Great coordination and choreography, though Piers is not liking the costumes or the makeup. They're all going to Vegas.

I had a feeling, however, we were due for some silliness, and I was right...

Fran Martin and Smithfield the pig - A painting pig. That's what's been missing from prime time. Smithfield is a little slow to begin painting, and is X'd by Piers right away. Eventually, he gets no's across the board (Hoff: "May the watercolors be with you.") Piers becomes hungry for a bacon sandwich, which brings Jerry out from the wings, and nearly attacked by Smithfield, who's got nothing on Arnold from Green Acres.

Diana Ross - She and her Yorkshire Terrier, Twinkle, do a dance routine, which is more like Ms. Ross dancing around and Twinkle, well, being a dog. Gone.

Sean Paul and Juliane - Their monkey is asked by the Hoff if their act is worth $1 million, he pushes a button lighting up a green light and gets three red X's in return.

Busy Bee Dogs - A less-than-stellar act featuring dogs chasing down frisbees. Gone.

Paul West and Tucker - A Dallas guy and his dog and a bunch of frisbees. The dog is great at catching the discs and doing flips and jumping in the air. Accidentally buzzed by Hoff. They're on to Vegas. [Note to video editors: the tendency during acts with lots of action is to employ excessive cutaways, and we miss what's going on up on stage. Just one guy's opinion.]

Paul Salos - A 71-year-old Frank Sinatra stylist who practiced for nine years before stepping on stage as Ol' Blue Eyes 40 years ago (and he's got big, blue eyes — that sorta kinda look like colored contact lenses.) This guy is amazing! He's got the mannerisms, the voice and the smile down pat. He's got his wife and Jerry dancing backstage and Sharon and David cutting a rug at the judges' table. And a standing O from the crowd. I really want to see this guy perform again. To Vegas!

And the judges move on to find talent in Chicago once again...

Junior and Emily - A brother-and-sister dance team who perform a pretty incredible routine to salsa music. The judges (and Jerry) absolutely love them. Piers calls it the best act they've seen so far. They're going to Vegas.

Zane and Stephanie - A young married couple — who may have stepped forward in time straight from the Lawrence Welk Show — who gaze lovingly into each others' eyes while singing Unchained Melody. A quick X from Hoff, and then Piers joins in. Sharon holds out, but then advises them her voice is nice but together their music is too nice. Uh, right. No go on the Vegas trip.

George the Giant - At 7'3", he's out on stage to prove to his wife she can bet on a dreamer. He brings a volunteer up to the stage, who feeds him a long — a very long — and flexible straw up his nose, only to see it emerge from his mouth. And then he sucks milk through the straw. His wife probably kicked him out of the house and quoted Vinnie Barbarino ("up your nose with a rubber hose"). But that's not all! He rips off his shirt and lights off a mat of firecrackers taped to his chest. Throughout this whole charade, Sharon looks physically ill. Piers X'd him during the straw part of the act, but then wins him over with some humor (George: "when your my size, you have two choice: play basketball or be a freak"). Them he brings his wife out and she's literally the cutest little thing. He's going to Vegas, though Sharon said no.

Jessica Price - She began her singing career in church. She tells an emotional story of her father, a minister, leaving home, and she wants him to be proud of him. She performs Bonnie Raitt's I Can't Make You Love Me and is pretty good. I don't know that her voice is spectacular, but she's very good. She's going to Vegas.

Smokin' McQueen - An 18-year-old oddity who comes out dressed like he's about to host Masterpiece Theater and then proceeds to do a burlesque routine. Piers feels McQueen is lacking in the "equipment" department. Gone.

Coburn Hartsell - He claims to have a talent America has never seen. He rips off his clothes (most of them) and does a belly dance/contortionist type thing and is gone.

Gravity Plays Favorites - Now that we're in the 10 pm hour, how 'bout some pole dancing. Two ladies intend to show America what pole dancing is all about. Hmm...when I was at my cousin's bachelor party, I don't remember hearing the 'squishing' noise as the girls got to Biblicly become familiar with the pole. They're sent packing, but not to Vegas.

Two quick looks at acts. First, Scandalesque features a woman who lights her costume on fire in a significant place (make that two significant places) and shakes them all about. Then, The Hollywood Men do a Chippendale-type act and have to be reminded by the Hoff that it's a family show. Both act are gone.

Busty Heart - She's busty, all right. Hey, if a big, burly guy can crush wood with his bare hands, then a big, buxom woman can crush all kinds of things with her covered-up you-know-whats. She crushes about a dozen aluminum cans (see clip below for this and some bonus action) and gets three no's. Hoff: "If you were on Baywatch, we would have lasted another 11 years."

The Southern Belles - A female foursome who rock out with a pretty incredible tap routine. Wow! They're off to Vegas. Piers says this is the best audition of the day. Vegas!

Dan Meyer - A sword swallower who will risk his life for our entertainment pleasure. "I'm going to nudge my heart in the side," he promises. He's got everyone cringing right off the bat, er, the sword. He swallows about eight swords (including three at a time). David says no, wondering how he can do something different to wend his way through the levels of competition. Sharon and Piers agree the show is about variety and the unusual. They both vote yes and Dan is on to Vegas.

David Militello - The 9-year-old was diagnosed with autism at two months and suffered from the ailment until he was three years old (his bus driver reported back to his mother that David sang on the way to school). Now he's performing on stage. He sings the Jackson Five's classic Ben. How cute! He's good, too. He tells Piers, "I'm going to have to think about that one" when asked what he'll sing next if they send him through. And he is sent through. And the crowd erupts! — J.R. Whalen

Use our Online Video Guide:
• Watch Busty Heart in action
• Check out cutie David Militello
• Watch George the Giant gross everyone out

Week Two of finding the nation's best talent. And, sadly, again in standard definition. Piers, Sharon and The Hoff are in L.A. with Jerry. The judges' picks move onto the next round in Las Vegas, all vying for a grand prize of $1 million and a Vegas contract.

Victoria - a singing fairy (and part-time nanny) who sings in a three-and-a-half octave voice. Er, right. She is perhaps three and a half notes into When You Wish Upon a Star when Piers issues an 'X' with a buzzer that blows everyone's ears out. Then she's no'd out the door.

Daniel Avila - He compares himself to Luciano Pavarotti, but sounds more like Chef Boyardee. Hoff howls like a dog. Gone.

Polina Nikiforova - She (looks like a he with a mustache) and her mother playing ther keyboard. Polina does everything with a pair of cymbals but clap them together. Three quick X's.

Eli Mattson - Inspirational story of a young man who's had some rough financial times. I'm hoping he does well. Sings Walking in Memphis and he's pretty good, vocally and with the keyboard. Midway through gets a standing O from the audience. Piers: "You've got talent." 'Nuff said. He's moving on to Vegas.

Cassie aka "Miss Pussykatt" - Performs a grinding act. That is, she runs an industrial grinder against an iron shield on her body and shoots sparks. We've seen this on Late Show with David Letterman occasionally, but a great visual. And the judges are mesmerized. A pretty good Vegas act.

Lil Countrie & Page 1ne - Survivors of Hurricane Katrina, they lived smack dab in the middle of the 9th Ward and tell a heartbreaking story of their uncle who sacrificed himself for his three nieces and nephews. They perform a pretty impressive street dance act. Piers gives them a glowing review, saying they have blown the competition wide open.

That's it for L.A. Not a ton of talent tonight, but those that were talented were spectacular. Now we're back in New York...

Drumtazia - bring his one-man "extreme percussions" for the judges. He's got a good-looking drum set, but proceeds to create simply a solid wall of noise with no rhythm. Three X's and gone.

Next II None - Four students performing a hip-hop, street-type dance routine to *NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye. Pretty good and well-choreographed. Sharon notes there isn't a great lead singer in the foursome. Um, dear, no one sang. They were dancing and occasionally mouthing to words. They're on to Vegas.

Russian Bar Trio - Jerry tells us this may be the most life-threatening act every attempted on AGT. He's right. A great acrobatic act featuring a woman jumping on a pole as if it were a trampoline. Pretty impressive, and dangerous, and ready-made for Vegas. The judges love it. Hoff: "That's better than the Olympics."

The Ozzman - An Ozzy Osbourne impersonator who clearly is not trying to win the vote of any particular judge whose name contains the word 'Sharon.' He's unemployed and looking for work as a full-time Ozzy impersonator. Hmm, when I was out of work, I did things like go to the gym and mail out resumes. His first X comes from Sharon. She thinks he sounds nothing like Ozzy. I guess she should know. Piers disagrees, but only to get Mrs. Osbourne's ire, and he got it. The Ozzman gets three X's and is gone.

The Taubl Family - A family of nine that has been performing for about 10 years. The file onto the stage with violins, cellos and a harp. Sharon likens them to the von Trapp family from The Sound of Music and that's what they perform, the theme to the movie. They're playing a very nice, melodic rendition of the--BUZZZZ!--they get X'd by Piers. I'm not totally against this. They're all wearing microphones, but no one has sung some 30 seconds into the performance. But then they sing, and they're very harmonious. Not spectacular, though. It kind of sounds like a vocal performance you'd hear at a school recital, but it's different. The dramatic moment comes when Piers admits he may have X'd them too early. They get three yes's from the judges and they're Vegas-bound.

The D.C. Cowboys - Ten sleeveless cowboys (think "Brokeback meets broadway", as their spokesman put it) who do a pretty good dance routine, complete with ten-gallon waving and butt shaking. Three yes's.

And again, we're in Chicago...

Kevin "Big K" Taylor - One of the most dangerous acts, he punches through slabs of concrete. He's going to break 1,000 pounds of cement that are on fire with his hands. These are individual stacks of six slabs of cement, with two taller stacks at the end. He's apparently broken some bones in his hands while trying this in the past, but here goes. OMG! This guy is crushing these cement slabs like, well, like butter while screaming louder than Steffi Graf. Meanwhile, his hands are on fire midway through the act. Ever the mom, Sharon actually gives him a No, saying she'd hate to see him get hurt on her watch. Hoff: "America wants to see you again. I just know it." Yup! We'll see Big K in Vegas. I'm hoping he shows up at the Baby Borrowers house and teaches some anger management. By the way, he says his ultimate AGT goal is to have a stack of bricks dropped on him that he will break with his fingers before they actually touch his body.

Chelena - A cervical cancer survivor, she can belt it out. No X's but Piers and Sharon advise her they've put through better singers than her, but they send her on to Vegas.

John Olshavsky aka Johnny O - he's been performing magic for most of his adult life. Funny, he doesn't look 19. He couldn't catch ping pong balls in his mouth (which isn't exactly magical) and quickly got X'd.

We see a series of quick clips of magic acts, including Dan Stapleton, who appears to rip the head off of a dove. About half a dozen other magic acts come and go, none get the Vegas nod.

Then, The Pendragons take the stage. Another magic act, or 'illusionists' as the judges are told. The male half of the act shows us his scar after an arrow accidentally went through his heart. Dude, next time just go with chocolates and a chick flick for the whole Valentine's effect. Truthfully, though, it's magic just that he's alive. So he jumps into a trunk, she locks it up, climbs on top and pulls a black cover over her and DAYAM! How'd they do that? He instantly appears in her place -- and she's in the trunk! They're headed to Vegas.

We see clips of what appears to be a painful series of tribute acts (impersonations) of everyone from Roy Orbison to Sammy Davis, Jr.

Then Rob Caudill taskes the stage as Rod Stewart. Sharon is dreading this. Blondes are not hacving more fun. He's X'd out to the street, as is C.J. King, channeling Cyndi Lauper.

And then, Nebraskan Joseph Hall has arrived as Elvis Presley. He's good. Real good. He's got the moves and the voice. Piers makes a good point that most impersonators of The King focus their act on Elvis around the years before his death. This guy does Elvis circa 1960. And Sharon is shamefully smitten by the 23-year-old. "I have shoes older than you," she says, "but I'd still like to try you on!" Well, apparently they have a U.K.-native Puma concolor or two roaming around Chicago. Joseph is on to Vegas.

And that's it for Chicago. Next week, it's Atlanta and Dallas. — J.R. Whalen

Use our Online Video Guide:
• Check out D.C. Cowboys
• Watch Miss Pussykatt grind it out

We're back for another season and the first thing I notice is this show is not in high definition. Uh, NBC, 2008 called and it will see you now. This show takes place in a darn theater. I think you guys can dig up a few HD cameras. OK, I feel better.

The big news is that this year's winner wins $1 million and a gig in Las Vegas. That's big. Plus, we learn last year's winner, ventriloquist Terry Fator, has just signed a $100 million deal to perform in Vegas.

Piers Morgan, Sharon Osborne, David Hasselhoff and host Jerry Springer are back, and they're holding auditions in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles.

Bill Curlee aka "Serious Mysterious" - Not a bad Tom Jones impression, until he began singing. Instant X's from Piers, Hoff and the entire audience. Sharon, strangley, lets him finish. Did she think it was Ozzy? (vote: 3 no's)

Nick Afanasiev - the guy can just about lick his entire nose with his tongue. Would this work in Vegas? All X's.

The judges were modestly entertained by Lady J and her prancing around the stage, and then X'd her out to the street.

And then a quick-fire series of ridiculous acts. OK, we get it. There better be some talent after the commercial.

Trombone player Jonathan Arons - He seems promising, at least during his interview. At first I thought, 'dude, either play the instrument or dance, but not both.' But, you know what, he's not bad. And he had Sharon screaming. Three yes's, but can this hold up over the course of the series? Hmm.

Indiggo - Uh oh. These Romanian twin girls seemed really cute and ambitious. This New York, New York rendition is awful. Wasn't their 75-year-old aunt singing on the subway platform last week? Again Sharon, letting this act finish. Apparently, she thinks she's on the set of America's Got No Idea How to Sing. Piers: "You've got everything going for you except for your terrible voices." Zing! And then that clown puts them through to Vegas. (X's from Piers and David and then yes's from Piers and Sharon.)

Nuttin' But Stringz - This is kickin'! Two brothers playing violins, to rap music, no less. Something fresh and original. Straight through to Vegas.

David Martin - magic act. Only a few seconds, but we'll see them again. I'm a sucker for magic tricks.

Scott Land - an uncooked chicken rigged up to marionette strings. On to Vegas.

Plastic Musik - Banging plastic things onto drums. This passes as talent. They'll be in Vegas.

Jazmin - The quartet sing The Bugle Boy of Company B. Not bad. Not bad at all. Only a few seconds worth, but they're on to Vegas.

Mary Bly, age 80 - she's a retired waitress. For 80 years old (not that I know what it's like to be 80), she's pretty energetic, but not good enough for the judges. Jerry keeps having to warn her to not go too close to the edge of the stage. Dude, she's retired, not blind.

Then we see a slew of no's - including an adorable accordion player.

Kaitlyn Maher - Now...she has arrived. She's finally here. The little 4-year-old that will tear through the hearts of the judges.

Sharon: "Are you from New York?"
Kaitlyn: "I'm from America"

I love it.

She sings Somewhere Out There. Is she the cutest thing on God's green earth? Yes. Can she keep up with the song's melody? Yes. Can she sing in tune? Well, there was momen —— I mean, yes, yes, she did! If I said anything else, I'd have nightmares of dragons chasing me tonight. She's headed to Vegas.

Inside info: A friend of mine who attended this taping back in April tells me Kaitlyn not only sang the entire song, she did it a cappella. The keyboard accompaniment was edited in after the show. Now that's talent.

Commercial break. And suddenly we're watching auditions in Chicago.

Slippery Kittens - Nine mothers do a burlesque act. Extravagant costumes and a few tattoos thrown in for good measure. The audience, rightfully so, chanted "Vegas!" as soon as they took the stage.

Not a bad start for Chi-town.

Chay Vang - This guy invented his own guitar. It takes him forever to hook it up and tune it. And then blasts the audience out of its eardrums. Three quick X's.

Up next, in quick fashion: A storyteller, a singing Santa Claus, Judge Judy singing Hallelujah, a brass band (who tells the audience they suck)...now we know why this is the second city. All going home.

Jonathan Burkin - a baton twirler. Hold your jokes, he's heard enough of them. A baton with flames on each end. Neat-o! And he's good! Two batons! The judges are big-time wowed. He's goin' to Vegas. This is a ready-made Vegas act.

See ya Chicago. Hello, La-La Land.

Derrick Barry - A man impersonating a woman impersonating a woman doing Britney Spears. Holy Oops I Did It Again, Batman! He looks and sounds the part. Piers isn't buying it, though. Hoff doesn't know whether to sing along or ask for a date. But Derrick's going to Vegas.

Polina Volchek - Piers asks her if she's the best new act in America, she replies "could be". Could be is right. She performs some really good acrobatics while spinning hula hoops on her toes and everywhere else but her waist. Vegas, baby!

Sterling Silver - Eleven students doing a hip hop-style tap dance routine. We only see it for a few seconds, but really, really good. Really good. Go west, young lads and lasses!

Cafidia Stuart - Does a mean Whitney Houston. This girl's just 15. Here's a finalist, folks. I can feel it in me bones. To Vegas.

Sick Step - About a dozen guys doing a breakdance routine. On to Vegas. Again, only a few seconds, but a fun act to watch.

Now, apparently, we're in the dancing part of the show.

Dallas Dance Company - Nine dance teachers. They'll probably be good. Yikes! Triple X (no, I don't mean that triple-x).

Then some gothic wedding dance thing, a contortionist, a woman on roller skates. All X's, and X does not get the square. Is there another 4-year-old in the house?

Instead, Extreme Dance FX takes the stage. In step, great choreography with fast, Riverdance-style steps and high-speed tapping. Cool. Piers not liking it. He X'd them for their costumes? Oh, puhleez. Whatev. This was some hi-falutin' dancing. Then Piers comes around. And they're heading on to Vegas. I really like this group.

Neal E. Boyd - He's had a rough childhood and this could be a great, personal victory for him. Somehow I feel a big letdown coming. I don't know, I'm just sayin'. Here he comes. He's singing opera. Wow. He's good. Real good. No letdown. Stay in key, pal. Stay in key. Major goose bumps. He gets a standing O from the audience and the judges. Hoff declares Neal the frontrunner. Jerry: "In the two seasons I've been doing this show, I have not heard better." Wow. I'm looking forward to hearing him again. — J.R. Whalen

Want to see a few of the acts? Use our Online Video Guide...

• Watch Derrick Barry's Brittany-esque performance
• Watch little Kaitlyn Maher charm the judges
• Check out Jonathan Burkin's baton-twirling act