Rock the Cradle

After six long weeks of rehearsing, learning, performing and telling off the judges we’ve come to the season finale. The votes have already been cast so it wasn’t 100% necessary for Crosby, Chloe and Jesse to perform at all, but I guess MTV had to fill that hour with more than just flashback clips.

Though it was a totally cheesy and predictable move, I couldn’t help but love the parent-child duets (what can I say I’m a sucker for family bonding).

Crosby Loggins: Crosby had a good energy as he sang “Steady As She Goes” and I was happy to see that he kept things upbeat without acting like a toolish rock star (the guitar is meant to played, not worn around your shoulder like a fashion accessory). I’ve made my love of the Loggins fam no secret, so imagine my excitement when I learned Kenny would be joining his son on stage. I’m still not crazy about the "I'm Alright" remix, or Crosby flailing his arms (I guess to get the crowd pumped) but how can you not love anything Kenny Loggins is a part of?

Chloe Lattanzi: Well Joe Strummer is certainly rolling in his grave after Chloe’s crazy, theatrical performance of “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” I was a little nervous when Chloe was about sing “I Honestly Love You” because that last performance scared the crap out of me. You’d think having your mom on stage would result in a less skimpy wardrobe and no spasms/gyrating, but apparently Chloe doesn’t think that way. Hot pants and crazy chains, that same eerie remix…even though there were no contortionists I think having Olivia Newton John sit as her scantily clad daughter moaned and humped around her made it even weirder than the last time.

Jesse Blaze Snider: I was kind of surprised to hear him sing “The Anthem,” since Jesse claims to be a true punk rocker—no self-respecting punk singer would be caught dead jamming out to Good Charlotte, especially not on national television. With a little help from his dad, Jesse picked things up with “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” I wished they had both dressed up in the Twisted Sister drag of the '80s, but I guess a father-son hair metal duo will have to suffice.

It was no shock that Chloe was eliminated first, leaving Jesse and Crosby to duke it out (again totally obvious, but in addition to family bonding, I’m a sucker for a good rivalry). I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t creeped out and confused by Jesse strip club version of “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” It wasn’t punked out or anything Jesse-esque and skank vibe was a little strong for me. Crosby let loose a bit with a solid performance of “Something to Believe In,” but it was still in his mellowish style. Again, neither performance was really necessary or did anything to sway me one way or other, but that time slot isn’t going to fill itself, right? Intense music played in the background and wasted 30 seconds of time, but in the end my crush Crosby Loggins was too much talent for Jesse to take on. After being announced as the winner of Rock the Cradle, Crosby performed his own song “Good Enough,” which I have to say was pretty good. I feel like I’ll see him touring hip, small, indie venues in the near future.

So what did you think? Are you happy Crosby won? Will there be another season of Rock the Cradle? Who’s kids would you want to see if there will be another season?

Tonight the judges picked the songs for the contestants. But before the babies could rock the cradle, we saw some intense backstage footage: Poor little Lara was crying, Jesse was trash-talking and showing off his conceited side, all kinds of shenanigans. Since there were only five contestants left and an hour of time to fill, the three finalists san two songs but the rejects also got to sing once.

Crosby Loggins: Larry chose Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” and The Fray’s “Over my Head.” Papa Kenny advised his son to just let go and smile (he just needs cut loose!) which he did. Though the back up dancers were kind of odd and probably didn’t need to be there. Waving his hands and singing with the fans, Crosby really worked the crowd. The judges totally dug it and praised his performance.
“Over My Head” really suited Crosby and also allowed him to show off his piano skills (reason #13 I have giant crush on Crosby Loggins). Out of nowhere Crosby left the piano to walk through the crowd, where did the shy indie rocker go? The “thank you” after his performance echoed like that a real rock star.

Jesse Blaze Snider: My Jesse, aren’t we a bit miffed about Belinda’s comments! After watching some some angry video, Jesse sang Larry's choices, “Are You Gonna My Girl?” by Jet and The Living End’s “Prisoner of Society.” The Jet song was OK. I feel like Jet performs it with so much energy and lots of fun screams but Jesse was kind of toned down…which is fine when you have the talent to do mellow songs, but Jesse isn’t that great so he needs the flips and the craziness to distract/entertain us.
Best moment of the night: Belinda called Jesse out on his trash talking and nasty attitude “I’ve been making music for 30 years, I think I know what I’m doing,” she told him. Oh man Belinda is such a badass—she’s still got the beat, no question!
“Prisoner of Society” was the perfect song for Jesse to sing in terms of the lyrics that perfectly describe his bratty attitude and because it didn’t require much vocal talent. The back flip made a comeback and the performance was high-energy. I didn’t think he could pull off The Living End, but he did. I liked it! Even Belinda gave him a 10…

Lara Johnston: Singing Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and rocking a pair of tight leather pants, tonight was probably Lara’s best performance. She connected with the song, she looked appropriately cute…too bad she was voted off! But in a personal triumph, June was finally pleased!

Lucy Walsh: Super sweet footage of Lucy and her father Joe bonding and getting involved with the music. (I miss you, dad!) Lucy struggled through “My Immortal” by Evansecence in rehearsal because it made her think of her dad. She got through the whole thing on stage, but this chick has a whiny voice. Great piano and very emotional, but the voice was whiny. She was fun, but I can’t say I’m too sorry to see Lucy go. Sidenote: Was it me, or was Lucy a little too upset about leaving Jesse? Perhaps a budding rock romance?

Chloe Lattanzi: We got a glimpse of Chloe’s dad and her favorite past time of chanting in his teepee (WOW). Larry chose “Toxic” by Britney Spears and “First Cut is the Deepest” by Sheryl Crow and Chloe was in tears over singing a Spears track. (But is there ever time when she’s not crying about something?) Chloe worked her…uh stage props (aka a man tied to a chair) and despite her initial tears really got into song. Flipping her hair and shooting flirty looks, this girl was embracing her inner Britney! Larry praised her every move, but I still can’t understand all of the words this girl sings.
Call me crazy, but I kind of liked “First Cut is the Deepest.” This is first time I understood what Chloe was singing and wasn’t creeped out by anything she did on stage! She’s not the best and she won’t win, but way to end with a performance that doesn’t frighten, Chloe.

At this point it’s between Jesse and Crosby (receiving scores of 39 and 38 respectively) and will come down to what America wants: Legit talent or high-energy performance. If Jesse sticks to punk rock, I’d go see him in concert and I haven’t really made it a secret that if Crosby sang anything I’d go see him in concert (let’s be honest). As long as Chloe doesn’t win, I’ll be happy.

So which performance was your favorite? Do you agree with the results? Who else thinks something might be going on between Jesse and Lucy? Who’s going to take it all?

Tonight the contestants chose their own songs, free of their parent’s input. And instead of just talking the talk, the judges stepped in to offer advice. The contestants had some interesting song choices to assert their independence with, but after the craziness I’ve seen, it could have been a lot worse (recall the contortionists and ear-piercing screeches).

Lara Johnston: This girl is just too cute. The wide-eyed Lara giggled as she talked about “Lady Marmalade’s” theme but was all business when she hit the stage. Lara sang the hell out of that song, but as always she could have worked it a bit more—especially for this song. It was almost heartbreaking to watch her receive her mediocre scores, she just looked so sad and so disappointed. I can understand her frustration, she does have one of the best voices in this competition, but unfortunately you’ve got to do more than just stand there and sing.

Crosby Loggins: First of all we need to discuss how adorable Crosby was with the elementary school kids (Yet another reason I have a giant crush on him). To declare his independence Crosby sang “Long Road to Ruin.” Despite busting out the electric guitar Crosby’s version was slightly mellow for a Foo Fighter’s song, but this was easily his best performance and it was nice to see him rock out to something harder. Oh, and the proud look on papa Kenny’s face was too cute (basically I just love the whole Loggins family). Crosby is no doubt the most talented contestant. He can sing, he plays guitar and he doesn’t sugar coat his performances with back flips or taking his shirt off (though I wouldn’t mind if he did). The judges love him too because Crosby got the highest score of the night.

FINALLY! Lil B. Sure! is kicked off and I couldn’t be happier. No more hurting my ears with squeaky, high-pitched performances. No more unattractive face and no more taking the place of more talented people who deserve to be there (cough A’Keiba). We’ll B seeing you!

Jesse Blaze Snider: Oh how I love controlling stage moms. Jesse’s mom was not having one bit of June’s input. Fashion fights aside, Jesse was OK tonight. It’s tough because I love Johnny Cash and didn’t like Jesse’s punked-out version of “Ring of Fire." But, in Jesse’s defense, I don’t like most covers of classic songs and this style suited him (unlike his leather coat/cape getup). I was slightly disappointed though in the lack of energy and on-stage antics. After the flips, the leather and running around on stage I was expecting real fire or something crazy for this song—no such luck.

Lucy Walsh: Lucy showed off her musical talent by playing the piano, singing “Fall for You” by Secondhand Serenade. I was impressed by her musical chops and her performance—sort of. Lucy played well and sang decently, but I just don’t think she’s the best. She sings well, but if I trained with a private vocal coach, I would too. Ballads are definitely her strong suit and she was much better this week than last week. I love her look and attitude, and I want to like her more than I do, but Lucy just doesn’t stand out to me the way Crosby does.

Sadly, Landon got the boot as well. His performance last week was horrible, but I think he’s a pretty good singer. I don’t know if he would have won, but I think he could have lasted a little longer had he not screwed up last week. Oh well, that’s the biz.

Chloe Lattanzi: She chose Korn’s “Freak on a Leash” and rightfully so, this girl creeps me out. Chloe actually won me over at first. The stripped-down version revealed her vulnerability and showcased the song’s emotional lyrics. But, so as not to disappoint, the music picked up and Chloe got weird and dark. The harmonies became eerie, the vocals didn’t fit the rock and the convulsing started. Once again way too dark and not very good. Chloe, now that Lil B. is gone, you’ve got to step it up if you want to stay in this.

So what did you think? Who likes Jesse and Chloe’s covers? Who likes when the kids keep the songs classic (like Lara). Were you happy with who stayed and who had to go? Am I crazy about the Lucy thing (the judges rave but I’m just not that impressed

You may recall that last week I mentioned that I couldn’t wait for an episode where the children would sing the songs that made their parents famous. Well low and behold, this week they did just that. (Coincidence? I think not!) Tonight many of the performances left me speechless and you know I don’t mean in a good way.

Crosby Loggins: I was a little disappointed in Crosby’s song choice of “I’m Alright,” as “Footloose” is clearly Kenny Loggins’ best song. I don’t know if I like Crosby’s remix of his father’s pop song. The style definitely suits him, but I was kind of bummed that the guitar was more of a prop than part of the act. Despite mixed feelings about his version, this was definitely Crosby’s best performance. He was all over the stage and really performed instead of just singing. I wish he would have taken June’s advice and taken his shirt off, but hey, there’s always next week!

Jesse Blaze Snider: In an attempt to show he’s more than just a shirtless rock star, Jesse did his dad’s aggressive anthem “We’re Not Gonna Take It” in an acoustic style, which I was not feeling. Thank God after the first verse he sped things up and yelled out the rest. In a bold move, Jesse rejected the untouchable spot he earned because he wants America to want him. I think he’s totally full of himself, but he knows how to work the crowd. Time out, wardrobe comment: between the tight jeans, custom-cut tank top and long hair someone was looking pretty feminine on stage. Jesse should just go for full-on Dee Snider drag instead of the androgynous look he’s sporting.

Chloe Lattanzi: Once again, bad song choice. “You’re the One That I Want,” “Physical” or “Xanadu” would all have been acceptable choices (with awesome wardrobe options) over the Cirque du Soleil remix of “I Honestly Love You.” As if the haunting piano music and raccoon-style makeup weren’t creepy enough, two contortionists were rolling around on the floor behind her. The judges gave her rave reviews, but I think it’s because they were scared she’d snap and go Carrie on them otherwise. Between that eerie music, the gyrating and the “dancers”—I’m not going to lie, I was slightly freaked out.

Lara Johnston: Perhaps inspired by the reggae spin she put on “Long Train Runnin,” the judges must be smoking something when it comes to this girl (but not Belinda, she’s fabulous and still has the beat). Once again Lara rocked and got nothing but lukewarm responses. I love the twist she put on her dad’s song and I guess he did too because he played guitar with the band. A hot dress and killer eye makeup (I need to learn how to do that) definitely made Lara look older than she is, but unlike June I think Lara still looked great. This sassy 17-year-old just can’t catch a break!

Lil B. Sure!: What does it take to get him to leave? He’s like a freaking cockroach, he just won’t go away! For once I agree with the judges, Lil B’s father seems to want this more than he does. He didn’t sound like he was trying at all, or maybe he’s just that bad (it’s entirely possible, I mean we all heard the screeching last week)! I will give Lil B credit for wearing sunglasses and covering up part of his face (he’s pretty unfortunate looking). Also, I don’t really get what Al B’s role on stage was during “Nite and Day” (other than dancing awkwardly and nodding at his son).

Landon Brown: I was thrilled that Landon chose “My Prerogative,” but Bobby B. wasn’t feeling it. Whatever, Landon can do what he wants to do (I know, I know). As Landon sings the camera keeps going over to Bobby looking mad, and understandably so: his son just ruined his song! Not even a random flash of the abs (a desperate attempt to gain fan support?) could save Landon from the judges who gave him a score of 14, ouch! Let this be a lesson, kids: don’t mess with a classic.

A’Keiba Burrell-Hammer was eliminated (did not see that one coming). I was really hoping to hear either “U Can’t Touch This,” or “Too Legit to Quit” (because let’s face it, I really am) but felt a little better when I saw A’Keiba wasn’t even wearing her dad’s signature parachute pants. How did she expect to do Hammer proud without those?

Lucy Walsh: Come on Lucy, “Life in the Fast Lane” is not only your dad’s song, but one of the most popular songs of all time and you don’t know the lyrics? Lucy had more energy this week but reminds me of the classic celebrity child: she has a little bit of talent so thinks she’s a total rock star (mostly because of who her dad is). She was OK but definitely not talented enough for a record deal.

Thankfully two people will be eliminated from now on, doubling Lil B’s chances of getting the boot. (Come on America, really?) So far Crosby and Jesse are the ones to watch out for and Chloe is getting the praise the Lara deserves. Super talented A’Keiba didn’t get many votes and Lil B is still hurting my ears, so I really have no guesses as to what will happen nest week. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!

Tonight our budding rock stars sang songs their parents selected for them, but we’ll get to that later. Unfortunately not everyone sang, as Jesse Money was eliminated. I was a little surprised by that vote, I didn’t think she was that bad. I though Lil B or Chloe were on their way out but I guess America though differently. There was a much smaller V.I.P. section since most of the celebrity parents were off on tour and being celebrities and such. But we don’t watch the show for the parents (or at least that’s what MTV would like us to believe) so let’s talk about the kids.

Jesse Blaze Snider: Sporting a mohawk and pants tight enough to please his mother (just a little awkward when she started talking about her son’s crotch) Jesse rocked out to Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell.” The song really suited him and once again, Jesse’s performance was jam-packed with energy. He certainly pleased the judges since their high scores put Jesse in the untouchable spot. Nothing like starting off with a bang.

Lara Johnston: This girl just can’t catch a break. She brings the sass and belts out “Respect” by Aretha Franklin and still not such stellar scores. She wasn’t perfect and could work the stage more, but she was certainly better than the 6 she got from Jamie. Relax, Lara. You’re cute, you have an incredible voice just have some fun!

A’Keiba Burrell-Hammer: I love how watching clips of A’Keiba rehearsing turned into watch Hammer dance and totally take over the camera. A’Keiba sang the Fugees’ version of “Killing Me Softly” and nailed it. Like Lara, A’Keiba could have done a bit more on stage but June’s 40-year-old woman critique was a bit harsh (30 tops). If A’Keiba looks like a middle-aged woman is it bad that in my early 20s I like all of the accessories she’s been wearing?

Crosby Loggins: Kenny wanted to see his son do something more upbeat so he chose “I Don’t Wanna Be” by Gavin DeGraw. In the beginning Crosby was a little mellow but towards the end he smiled, loosened up and really sold the performance. I completely agree with June, Crosby should take off his shirt next week. Seriously though, Crosby seemed a lot more relaxed and really rocked.

Landon Brown: No one can accuse Landon of not working the stage, but I’m not sure if Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition” was the right song for jumping off stairs and unbuttoning his shirt (but with abs like that who really cares?). Landon had a lot more energy and really stepped up his game. If he can perfect his vocals (the judges called him “pitchy at times”) he’ll be a top contender for the prize.

Lil B. Sure!: Al B, what were you thinking? Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Worth”? I’m not going to sugar coat this one, it was bad. Lil B squeaked his way through his performance and made me scrunch up my face and cringe a couple of times when he didn’t hit the highest notes. I thought it was really funny when Belinda called him out for grabbing his crotch (Jesse, Lil B…what was it about crotches tonight?).

Lucy Walsh: Just like last week, Lucy was good (not the best but very good), singing Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors.” Passionate vocals made me feel she connected to her material and Lucy can definitely work the stage and the crowd. A touching moment when Ryan announced her father Joe Walsh was in the crowd (but kind of a sketchy with the dark pan over to him). Lucy received solid scores from the judges and I agree with Larry in that another ballad may not have been the best choice.

Chloe Lattanzi: Chloe burst into tears when she found out she was safe and sulked in a rock garden (?) after her mom went to China, living up to the description of “theatrical” that Belinda gave her last week. Chloe sang “I Hate Everything About You” by Three Days Grace and got really into it. Between the spasm-like shaking and dropping to her knees it was tough to keep up with her. I don’t know if rock is the best style for her voice but she performed with passion if nothing else.

The song choices have been interesting so far, but I’m still waiting for a night when the kids sing the songs that made their parents famous (let’s be honest, I just want an excuse to rock out to ’80s hits). All in all the competition is shaping up nicely. I never can tell who the judges will like or who will take his shirt off next.

So who thought Jesse deserved the to spot? Who was your favorite? Who thinks Chloe should fire her stylist for those ridiculous suspenders and crazy boots (I do!)?

There is nothing I love more than watching the children of celebrities attempt to live up to their parents’ fame and fail miserably (Thanks VH1 and E! for all of those rock and Hollywood royalty specials). So imagine my excitement when MTV announced a singing competition featuring the children of rock and pop stars who want nothing more than to break out on their own and step out of their parents shadow. To help these kids make a name for themselves the show spends every possible moment reminding us who their far more famous parents are and gives the parent stars equal camera time. For some reason the judges and I have very different opinions but I’m writing the recap, so my thoughts on the performances win! Let’s not waste anymore time and get straight to the singing.


Jesse Money: Decent singer, but maybe 3 Doors Down’s “When I’m Gone” wasn’t the best song choice for her. I think a different song would showcase her good voice. I need her trainer’s number because Jesse’s arms are INSANE. I did indeed have tickets to the gun show.

Landon Brown: Landon is hot. Landon can sing. Do you really need to know more? OK, fine: Landon crooned Seal’s “Crazy,” impressing me but not the judges. Larry said Landon lacked confidence, so maybe it was nerves. As far as I’m concerned Landon definitely inherited his vocal chops so assuming he performs with more confidence, I think we’ll see a lot more from him.

Chloe Lattanzi: Chloe’s mom is none other than Olivia Newton John, but after her performance she is not the one that I want (I know, too easy). She seems to have a decent voice but for some reason it didn’t sound like she was pronouncing all of the words in “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS. Chloe blames her poor performance on her ear piece going out. I’m all for second chances, so maybe she’ll wow me next week.

Lucy Walsh: I love this girl’s style! Those yellow pumps remind me of a pair of shoes in my own closet. Fashion aside, Lucy is a great performer. She has a good voice (maybe not the best in the competition, but definitely good) and really connects to her material. Lucy’s emotional rendition of Don Henley’s “The Heart of the Matter” reflected what she revealed about her relationship with her father better than words did. I don’t know if she is the best performer in this competition, but easily one of my favs. The judges certainly thought so, giving Lucy top scores that put her in the untouchable position.

Jesse Blaze Snider: Not surprising at all, Dee Snider’s son chose Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll.” Though he may not be a stellar singer (one thing the judges nailed him for), Jesse wants to be a rock star so he doesn’t have to be. Working a pair of leather pants, performing shirtless and non-stop energy culminating with a back flip make Jesse a strong contender to front a hard-rocking band one day.

Lil B. Sure!: Before the show I had no idea who his father (Al B. Sure!) is and based on the clip shown I don’t really care. After not quite hitting the high notes of Donny Hathaway’s “A Song for You” Larry called him a “great singer”—apparently we weren’t watching the same performance. The only thing I’m sure of is that this kid is not such a great singer and kind of unattractive.

Lara Johnston: Geez Louise, this tiny 17-year-old girl has got one big voice. She belted out Avril Lavigne’s “I’m With You” and looked super cute doing it. I don’t get why the judges didn’t dig her, I thought she was awesome. She sounded great and made an Avril song tolerable (not an easy task).

A’keiba Burrell-Hammer: This self-proclaimed daddy’s girl sang “Love You I Do” by Jennifer Hudson and knocked it out of the park. A soulful voice paired with sassy head bobs and a huge smile made for a solid performance. A’keiba is an amazing singer and definitely one to watch out for. When it comes to hitting high notes, the other kids can’t touch this (It had to be done)!

Crosby Loggins: Holy cow, this kid is a spitting image of his father (only younger and hotter, best combination as far as I’m concerned) and has a very cool name. He looks like his dad, he plays guitar like his dad and even sounds a little like his dad. But instead of being a clone of his papa Kenny, Crosby stuck me as a chill, modern, indie version of his father as he sang Elvis Costello’s “(What’s So Funny ’Bbout) Peace Love and Understanding.”

All in all I’m a little disappointed…disappointed that the singing wasn’t worse (therefore easier to make fun of). I guess we’ll just have to wait and see who breaks out and who lacks the star power their parents possess(ed—except for Olivia: the ’80s never go out of style and home girl can rock a leotard and/or pair of roller skates any time). I certainly won’t hold back when a performance isn’t up to par, but I’ll definitely give credit when and where it is due. I’m looking forward to seeing more of the singers—especially Crosby, call me!

I am positive that I managed to anger someone and that most (if not all) of you feel differently about the performances than I did. So, let’s hear it! Who liked what they saw? Who thinks I’m crazy?