horatiolover's Blog

I just love Ausellio. His BLIND ITEMS are legendary. This time he chose a blind item that is recognizable very easily: David Caruso.

Does anyone remember the brilliant article published by the DEFAMER?
http://defamer.com/367763/david-caruso-what-should-i-do-i-am-a-grown-man-with-red-hair

Obviously is David Caruso suffereing from a severe case of PORTALPHOBIA.Read an be amused!
http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Ausiello-Report/Ausiello-Scoop-Whos/800038299

http://community.tvguide.com/blog/Horatiolovers-Blog/700009675

CSI Miami is going to air its first new episode after the strike on March 24. Admittedly, we are looking forward to it.

However, not because we think David Caruso is a good actor. And not because we like to see Caruso and Berkley trying to upstage each other in real BAD acting.

The thing we are really looking forward to Joel McHale and "The Soup" !!!

Every new episode will give "The Soup" a reason to snark and laugh about the cheesiest scenes and lines on CSI Miami.

The videoclips on "The Soup" are real highlights and much needed after 45 minutes of Caruso's crappy acting...

Here are - in case you haven't already seen them - a few of real "Soup"-treasures.

Enjoy! We did....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv7rIVU37jM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ3SFwLHp8o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eem4I80rEhA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lovITLU9vC0&feature=related

And in case you have missed it, there are on-set recollections from people who have worked with David Caruso....
(http://defamer.com/367763/david-caruso-what-should-i-do-i-am-a-grown-man-with-red-hair)

CBS and the "Insider online" promise us "more steamy scenes" upon the return of CSI Miami on March 23 - between the characters Julia Harmon and Horatio Caine.

Don't make us laugh.

CSI Miami is in its 6th season and there never have been any steamy scenes between Horatio and a woman. Not even steamy stares....LOL

If the writer of this article refers to episode "Raising Caine" it is even more ridiculous.The scenes Berkley/Caruso had together rather fall under the category of laughable/horrible than steamy.Berkley and Caruso tried to upstage each other in very very bad acting. They have next to no chemistry together.

However, we are ready to be disabused and maybe - only maybe- Berkley and Caruso are REALLY able to pull of "steamy" scenes.

http://www.theinsideronline.com/news/2008/03/16421/
http://community.tvguide.com/blog/Horatiolovers-Blog/700009675

The article appeared just at the right time. Writers' strike is over, everyone goes back to work - it is about high time to do some much needed PR.

(http://www.csifiles.com/interviews/emily_procter2.shtml)

Emily Proctor does what she does best - she chats about this and that. Her role. The show. The cast etc. ALL very positive, of course. Everything isfine.They like each other 24/7....blah, blah, blah....

One is almost tempted to stop reading and turn to something else .......until Emiliy Procter mentions David Caruso and their scenes together - or better the LACK of it.

Now Proctor goes into an overdrive. She gushes how much fun David Caruso is to work with. One can't shake the impression that she is desperately trying to convince people that everything is okay. However, the harder she tries the less believable she becomes.People have been complaining about the characters' -Duquesne/Horatio - drifting apart. Little to no interaction. What started out as "a dream team" in 2002 has faded into something gray in 2008.
The writers seem to avoid scenes between Proctor/Caruso. Is it because they were told to do so because Caruso and Procter don't get along too well?

Is David Caruso back to his bad old habits again? Some behavior patterns never die no matter how hard you try to bury them.David Caruso has had (or still has) stormy private times. He dumped his girlfriend for a Miami Nightclub Executive (http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/01/david-caruso-national-enquirer-article.html) . Did he take some of the emotional baggage to work - thus alienating Procter?

It has been written that it is high time for David and Emily to put differences/egos aside and start acting like responsible grown up people.

Agreed.

However, it always takes two to tango. What if one of them - David Caruso - actually likes it the way it is and has no inclination whatsoever to change anything?
***************
Source: http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/02/david-caruso-high-noon-2.html

CSI Miami is a perfectly created illusion. And with that we neither mean the acting nor the storylines. I daresay, CSI Miami is the only show that could be produced during the WGA strike - since they don't need writers for the cr** they show us week after week.

After watching a handful of painfully bad episodes we would like to summarize what we have learned in the last few days:

1) Everybody in Miami is under thirty. There are no old folks in Miami.
2) Everybody is in a perfect shape. There are no fat/large people in Miami
3) Everybody is dirty, filthy, rich. There are no poor people, no barrios in Miami
4) Everybody is attractive. No uglies or imperfect people in Miami.
5) Everybody is expertly coiffed and dressed in the latest fashion. Nobody suffers from bad hair days or wears K-Mart socks.
6) Everybody is straight. No gays, lesbians or cross-dressers.
7) Everybody accepts police harassment. They don't care about being questioned without an attorney present or being held without a probable cause. Police brutality is not frowned upon it is deemed necessary.

In summary, Miami seems like a cool place to live. And if you don't fall into one of the categories mentioned above you can move to Miami and live a safe and happy live. Because nobody would bother to murder/kidnap/rob/blackmail you. You are simply not interesting enough.

Welcome to the paradise!

Every time someone starts a discussion about "how badly" paparazzi treat celebs and how those celebs are never left alone by the "vultures" of the press we just can't hide our amusement.

Seriously - WHAT would the Britneys, Amys, Lindsays, Paris' of this planet be without the paparazzi? With their careers failing or put on ice? Their relationships breaking apart or them engaging in promiscuity...be without the tabloids (AND the paparazzi)?

Answer: NOTHING. Nobody would read about them, see pictures in glossy magazines or (and that would be even worse) would know they even existed.

We hear about Britney (or Victoria "Posh" Spice) calling up the paps to let them know where they would be and when.
To us it is a marriage of convenience. And like in every marriage it has it ups and downs.To some celebs paparazzi and tabloids are as necessary as the air they need to breath.
Paparazzi are just doing their jobs like everybody else. The majority of them are hardworking people.
Today we like to say "Thank you". Thank you for entertaining us with the latest pictures and juciest facts/rumors from LA and all places around the world.

And we are sure Lindsay, Britney, Amy, Paris, David and JamieLynn will see to it that you won't stop writing about them...

Back in 2002 when we started watching CSI Miami we were kind of enamored with the young blonde girl whose character was named "Calleigh Duquesne" . One thing that stood out was her oh so funny voice. It was high pitched and kind of squeaky - so we dubbed it "Mickey Mouse" voice. Emily Procter -who plays Calleigh Duqesne - wore blouses nobody had worn since 1890: all ruffled and buttoned up. And her hair-styles! Braids in all shapes and sizes. Brrr....

In season 4 a noticeable change happened. Gone were the blouses and the little girl voice. Calleigh "was allowed" to wear her hair open more often in a more becoming style.

In season 5 the docile character has all but vanished. The necklines plunged with every episode. The "new Calleigh" shows an open sexiness which is nice but also can be distracting sometimes. Further, a (uncalled for) toughness has emerged. Here is where we scratch our heads.
Calleigh is a character who hasn't suffered too many hardships (as compared to HoCaine and Eric Delko) which would warrant such a change of behavior.

We think the reason behind this very noticeable change is that the writers had to make Emily Procter's character more peculiar so that she won't be overshadowed by luscious Eva la Rue as Natalia Boa Vista.

Hopefully, the writers will tone it down a bit again. Calleigh Duquesne stands out as a character - WITHOUT boobs, leather and Latex.

We have to admit we just love to snark. It is fun and we daresay that everyone has a bit of "Schadenfreude" hidden inside. You just need to let it out!

Just recently Joel of "The Soup" did another jab on CSI Miami, specifically Caruso. They talked about Elizabeth Berkley guest starring, and Joel did his best Caruso impression and said "Looks like she was saved.....by the bell." Hilarious and spot on! THANK YOU, Joel!
Now take a look at how David Caruso takes really serious acting really seriously.....ENJOY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eem4I80rEhA

Further, for all those who like to snark themselves we highly recommend:
http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=bcbdf1247e0e3c6413410f631b2d988c&showforum=834

A few days ago an older David Caruso video "Filming in Brazil" (Broadcasted on the homepage of German Cable TV Network RTL http://www.rtl.de/tv/tv_951492) was hyped.

"CSI Miami and Horatio are part of the Brazilian Culture! We are very much a part of their lives!"

We were stunned when we first heard this comment. We replayed. No, Caruso really said that.Now, everyone who has ever read or watched a David Caruso interview has come to expect to hear things that make little to no sense. However, the above statement is a new highlight.

Maybe Caruso intended to say : "We have a huge fanbase in Brazil."
However, the way he said it sounded like that an American TV-Crime-Show (with dropping ratings)has become an (integral) part of the Brazilian culture.

Does Caruso imply that the Brazilians have no culture of their own?
Does Caruso imply that HE (and the show)PLAY AN IMPORTANT PART in the every day life of Brazilian people?
Mind you Brazil - a third world country with a high poverty rate. A country where only 30% of its population owns a TV at all.

Bad choice of words or plain ignorance or both?

(Source: http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2007/11/david-caruso-and-brazilian-culture.html)

During 6 seasons CSI Miami has produced a lot of recurring characters who left their mark on the show. Some we love. Some we could do without. Here is a short list:

1) RICK STETLER: The IAB agent is a much needed antipole to HoCaine. He had great moments in season 1,2,3 and 4. Unforgotten the tense moments when both Stetler and HoCaine courted Yelina's favor. And Horatio's silent desperation that - despite everyting - Yelina chose Stetler over him.

2) YELINA SALAS: HoCaine's sister in law. He wants her. She wants him. Somehow they just can't decide to do it. Pity. A roll between the sheets would do wonders (for both). Nice to see sparks flying. The only woman HoCaine has had any chemistry with so far.

3) SUZIE BARNAM: Raymond Caines lover. She is weak, she is a druggie....but she has a naivety that makes her so likeable. We want to see her again - after all we want to know how Madison - HoCaine's niece - is doing.

4) RAYMOND CAINE: He was everything HoCaine never was and never will be. Do we miss him? Not really.

5) JAKE BERKLEY: Calleighs love interest. We can't decide if we like him or not. So we remain neutral and rest our case.

6) REBECCA NEVINS: Interesting character. HoCaine's ex squeeze. She has potential to be a great nemesis - if the writers play it right. Has reason enough to make life a misery for HoCaine.

7) MARISOL DELKO: Nicknamed Aerosol. Please no. So bad we don't want to talk about it.

8) CHIEF JUDGE JOSEPH RATTNER: A really bad character. But interesting. Currently he is residing in jail. But since CSI Miami has no problems bringing back the dead they could bring back someone from jail as well.

9) KYLE HARMON: We just don't know. He is neither fish nor flesh. We could live without this addition.

Did we leave one out? If yes, we apologize.

Some casting decisions truly make us laugh. A few month ago we mused WHO could play HoCaine's illegitimate spawn's mother? A few renowned actresses came to our mind - Gina Gershon (dark and sexy) or Michelle Pfeiffer (blonde and sexy) came to our mind.

Since last weekend the cat is out of the bag and we are scratching our heads. Questions arise. According to the Hollywood Reporter ex-Showgirl Elizabeth Berkley (http://spoilertv-csi.blogspot.com/2007/11/elizabeth-berkley-joins-csi-miami.html) was the first choice of TPTB.

Mind you, we don't question Ms. Berkley's acting skills. However,Kyle's mother must at least be over 40. Maybe even close to HoCaines age. We know that in Miami people just don't age. But we remain very curious as to how convincingly the young and hot looking blonde can play the ex-nurse ex-undercover agent HoCaine fell for lock and stock 16 years ago.

There is one thing David Caruso and Elizabeth Berkley have in common: they are both B-listers. While Caruso has an impressive list of failures under his belt Ms Berkley's screen debut "Showgirls" turned out to be a career disaster.

We are ready to give Mrs. Berkley the benefit of the doubt. Our verdict will come after episode 12 when she will make her first appearance. And if it doesn't work out we are sure Paris Hilton wouldn't mind filling in...

Synopsis: "CSI: My Nanny" - Lifestyles of the rich and famous come under the CSI microscope when a wealthy family's nanny turns up dead....

The rich and famous again. What else? Scanning the cast list as provided by http://www.thefutoncritic.com/listings.aspx?id=20071106cbs04 we miss characters we have come to love and appreciate, i. e. Rick Stetler and Valera (who is sadly underused this season).

However, we are happy to report that this is going to be another Kyle-free (meaning HoCaine drama free. Great sigh of relief.) episode again. That would be the third episode in a row where the newly introduced (but badly developed) storyline gets neglected.

We liked the last Calleigh-centered episode. We do hope we will like this one as well. Would do wonders for the mediocre ratings the show has got so far this season.

PS: WTF happened to Alexx hair? All frizzled....somehow she looks like shock-headed Peter.

Ausiello on CSI: Miami
Question: Horatio and Calleigh, who used to work so well together, have had two scenes together, each less than a minute long, in the past 26 episodes of CSI: Miami. Can you please enlighten us exasperated fans as to what happened between David Caruso and Emily Procter...
(http://www.tvguide.com/Ask-Ausiello/csi-miami/071121-10)

GOOD Question. The situation is not new. Anyone remember Kim Delaney? In one of the last episodes she appeared in they deliberately gave her only scenes with A. Rodriguez.

Could there be a deep personal and professional rift between the svelte Southern girl and the difficult actor? Aren't Caruso and Procter getting along anymore?

We refuse to believe that the reduced screen time both have had together lately is solely due to script-writers. Is it done on purpose to keep both - squabblers? - apart?

Maybe.

In every interview Proctor grants she never tires to mention how great the team gets along. That may be true - or not. However, in light of the above observations we are inclined to believe that things aren't exactly all roses on the set of CSI Miami.

Some people watch CSI Miami because they actually like it. Some people watch it because the worship one or the other actor (for what reasons ever). WE solely watch it for the chuckles and for the snark value.

For those who like to take a more satirical approach to a show which has (involuntarily) turned into a crime-comedy we highly recommend:

Chain Reaction (607)
http://www.recapist.com/2007/11/06/csi-miami-chain-reaction-episode-607

Permanent Vacation (608)
http://www.recapist.com/2007/11/13/csi-miami-permanent-vacation-episode-608

Stand your ground (609)
http://www.recapist.com/2007/11/20/csi-miami-stand-your-ground-episode-609

Those reviews are highly entertaining and a pleasure to read.

Further, the following gem was written by Dan Dunkle of MaineCoastnow.com about what effects the writers strike may or may not have on CSI MIami.
http://www.mainecoastnow.com/articles/2007/11/14/republican_journal/columnists/stranger_than_fiction/doc473b28490875b509301287.txt

ENJOY!!!

Next Monday's episode is called: "Stand Your Ground". Synopsis: An attempt on Calleigh's life puts both her professional and personal life in jeopardy....

Frankly, how many Calleigh-themed episodes have we seen during the past 5 1/3 seasons? Correct us if we are wrong but there can't be more than three.

We fondly remember episode "Under the influence" when Calleigh's father thought he had killed someone.
Emily Proctor as Calleigh Duquesne handled the difficult balancing act between her duties as a CSI and her family ties as the suspects' daughter competently.

Nice to notice that the unique Stetler -will grace the TV-screen again. we hope he will have more than 3 minutes screen time. He is a real asset to the show.

Our wish-list for the upcoming episode is very short:
*Lots of Calleigh.
*A well written story with lots of suspense (and a bit of angst) and
*very little of HoCaine for once in a while.

All those fed up with the constant HoCaine drama will be looking forward to the up-coming episode. It is a nice reminder that the show has very talented female cast members to offer - and not only the one dimensional David Caruso......