Susan Sarandon had great effect on the three leading ladies of
Rescue Me [Tuesdays at 10 pm/ET on FX]. Though
Andrea Roth,
Tatum O'Neal and I had no scene work with Sarandon, the
Eastwick witch spirit of filmdom took hold of all three of us with a great magnetic force.
Within days of the possession, the coven began its fury of hijinx. Gathering ingredients for recipes on a TV set at first seemed difficult. However, they soon realized the plethora of powerful herbs and spices right under their noses. While Andrea gathered sawdust and metal shavings from the set workshop, Tatum pilfered double-stick tape and Static Guard from the costume truck. Meanwhile Callie crept into the makeup trailer in the wee morning hours to five-finger-deal pots of shimmery eye shadow (which doubles as fairy dust), tubes of red lipstick ("bat blood") and piles of shorn hair from the wastebasket (needed for any spell worth its weight). With her rice-sack full, she met up with her co-spell-casters.
The first spell was light and sweet. Slipping a magic powder mix into the bottles of Yoo-hoo that
Mike Lombardi,
Daniel Sunjata and
Steve Pasquale chug between takes was easy enough. As the elixir took effect, the boys began to cup each other's faces and tell one another how gifted they were. "You're so good." "No,
you're so good!" Smiles abounded.
The next challenge was to mix a potion into the carafe of Polo cologne that
John Scurti obsessively douses himself with. As the girls hid under the waterbed in his dressing room, John started a'splashing. Within a few moments, amidst the aromatic fog, he began to take on the vocal and physical attributes of his idol and mentor,
Hulk Hogan. Staring into the mirror he spoke to himself: "The Hulkster is ready for action, brother!" "I'm gonna double-elbow-kick face-plant that camera, cuz Hogan knows best,
brother!" And "Step into a SlimJim!" — just because they are his favorite munchie. With arms flexed and teeth bared, he stomped to the set. Ready to rumble.
Next the ladies rolled an Oleo of trouble into a cigar that awaited
Jack McGee in his room. Lighting up at the end of the day (as he is known to do), Jack slowly began to bob his head to an unheard beat. Then he ran out to the soundstage parking lot and launched into an epic a capella version of
Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me." In his tighty-whiteys. To the Teamsters.
While
Denis Leary was busy trying to out his son Jack's skateboard, the ladies greased his Prada sunglasses with a potent salve. Once he donned his specs, he became irreversibly drawn to the fire pole in the firehouse set. Ignoring the protests of cast and crew, Denis grabbed on and performed a pole dance that would put
Elizabeth Berkley to shame. His high kicks were blinding, his body slides mesmerizing, his hair tosses jaw-dropping. All this while he was in full fire gear. He really is kind of superhuman — spell or no spell.
