John Lehr's 10 Items or Less Blog

'What Women Want'

This is our fourth episode and my favorite. Without giving too much away, four of our characters get it on. It’s a make-out free for all. There’s also a fight—two characters end up with black eyes. What more could you ask for?

This was my first real kissing scene as an actor and I was scared to death. Actually, I had a brief kiss in an episode of ‘Jesse’ on NBC. I played Christina Applegate’s mute brother—probably the easiest gig of my life. I had a network job sandwiched between ‘Friends’ and ‘Frazier’ (by the way, I think 30 minutes of black screen sandwiched between ‘Friends’ and ‘Frazier’ would get good numbers). I got network money and I didn’t have to learn any lines! Although I have to admit that is sort of what I’m doing now. Since the show is improvised, I don’t have any lines to learn, but somehow it doesn’t feel as easy as those salad days on ‘Jesse’.

My character, Junior, had to make-out with a girl in the bar Christina Applegate’s dad owned. The director of the episode cast an extra to be in the scene with me. She was super young, super hot and super interested to break into Hollywood. I was worried about my breath, my wife and my job and all the while she was peppering me with questions about ‘the biz’. “How did you get this job? How did you get an agent? What do you think I should do to get an agent? Once you have an agent, how do you get an audition?” I had no idea what to say. I hated to tell her that there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to this business and, truth be told, my advice would be to get a real job and save yourself a lot of heartache.

Finally the scene was up and we went in for the kiss. As I pressed my lips to hers and I did what I had been doing to my wife (at that point she was my fiancé)—I started to put my tongue in her mouth. It was out of habit, I swear! I immediately caught myself but it was a nanosecond too late. The actress opened her eyes and gave me a look: “What the hell are you doing you creepy old guy who has a small part on a Must-See TV show without any lines!” She avoided me on the set after. I deserved it. But it WAS an ACCIDENT.

So here I am, years later about to do my second kissing scene. Thank god it went without any hitch and, while I cringe when I watch myself kissing, my wife says it comes off fine. I’m a hell of a lot more comfortable doing the ridiculous funny stuff but if the job requires that I kiss a gorgeous actress, hey a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.

One interesting side note to this episode is that while we were shooting, there was a hold up in the store. The grocery store we shoot in is open for business while we are working. A lot of the customers you see in the background are actual people just doing their thing in the store.

As we were wrapping up a scene, suddenly a bunch of cops rushed into the store. A few seconds later the escorted a guy out with his hands behind his back: cuffed with duct tape. Apparently the undercover security guard saw the guy pull a gun, stopped him and wrapped a duct tape around his wrists holding him until the police arrived. We stood there with our jaws dropped—after all, we’re just a bunch of wimpy theater nerds. I talked to the security guard later and asked him if this kind of thing happens a lot. He said the gun thing is kind of rare, but that EVERYONE steals. He said that you have no idea how many people rip off the store. He says that by working his job, he has lost total faith in humanity. The people you think would steal stuff, steal stuff, but also the people you wouldn’t thing are crooks rip the store off. He told me that he’ll have a sweet elderly couple check out with a full cart of groceries but they have stuck a tube of medication in their pocket because they didn’t want to pay the five bucks. Amazing.

With that in mind, I have stolen some outtakes from the show and posted them for your free enjoyment:

http://grouper.com/video/10%2bItems%2bor%2bLess

Next week is our final episode and it does not disappoint. Jennifer Elise Cox, who plays the evil Amy Anderson is back and better than ever.

John Lehr

TV Guide blog#3

Hi blog reader. John Lehr here with my latest 10 Items update. The ratings have been great and I want to thank you for tuning in late nights on Mondays. If you read the credits (and you have to be a super speed reader these days to do that) you’ll notice that this show is a John Lehr ego free-for-all. I produce, create, write and play Leslie. My mom is thrilled with the number of times my name flies across the screen but I have to say it makes me feel like I’m producing my own short film I shot on DV and edited on Final Cut Pro (which I have done many times). But—if I pull the credits I don’t get paid and I have a 7 month old daughter who might have a problem with that.

We are broadcasting episode three now and I thought I would throw out some things that you probably won’t get anywhere else. First, I feel like I should mention that all of the dialogue in the show is completely improvised. I know there are a few shows out there that make that claim falsely, but at ’10 Items’ it is a fact. The script is a very detailed outline and the cast makes up all of the lines. I have posted some alternate takes and outtakes so you can see for yourself:

http://grouper.com/video/10%2bItems%2bor%2bLess

In addition, I thought I would post the first scene of this episode from the script just to give you an idea of what we were working from:

ACT ONE
INT. GREENS & GRAINS - DELI - MORNING

AS LESLIE COLLECTS THE TIME CARDS FOR HIS LABOR TOTALS, HE SEES TODD TOSSING BOVINE INNARDS INTO THE DUMPSTER AND TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHAT WITH THE HUNKY BUTCHER. LESLIE ASKS TODD WHAT HE IS DOING THIS WEEKEND AND TODD RELUCTANTLY TELLS HIS BOSS HE'S GOING “OUT.” LESLIE CHUCKLES, “I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, MY MAN.” LESLIE HAS SETTLED IN HERE IN OHIO AND IS READY TO MAKE “CONNECTIONS.” HE FEELS A CERTAIN CAMARADERIE WITH TODD, “WE'RE VERY SIMILAR, YOU AND I. WE SHOULD HANG OUT. I HEAR YOU'RE QUITE THE LADIES MAN.” THE LAST THING TODD WANTS IS TO GO TO CLUBS WITH LESLIE, SO HE PLAYS DOWN HIS SUCCESS WITH THE LADIES. LESLIE WILL HEAR NONE OF IT. “NO, NO, NO, MY MAN. IT'S TRUE. THE LADIES LOVE YOU. AND I CAN SEE WHY. LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE ONE HANDSOME DOG. NICE GUNS, GREAT PECS. YOU EVEN HAVE THE KIND OF BUTT THE LADIES LIKE - WITH THE DIMPLES IN THE SIDE.” TODD GETS NERVOUS BUT LESLIE TELLS HIM NOT TO WORRY, HE'S NOT GAY. “BUT I'M NOT BLIND EITHER. I NOTICE BEAUTY WHEN I SEE IT. LIKE THE GREEKS. IN A PLATONIC WAY, MIND YOU, BUT THERE'S NO REASON A GUY CAN'T ADMIRE ANOTHER GUY IN A NON-SEXUAL WAY. THE LADIES ADMIRE EACH OTHER-SO SHOULD WE.”

TODD STANDS THERE SILENT FOR A BEAT, THEN TRIES TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT BY ASKING LESLIE HOW THE MANAGING OF THE STORE IS GOING. LESLIE SIGHS. “SINCE WE'RE TIGHT BUDDIES, MAY I CONFIDE?” TODD WANTS TO LEAVE, BUT AGREES. LESLIE TELLS HIM THAT THIS IS THE WORST DAY HE'S HAD SINCE HE TOOK OVER THE G&G. “I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE TO DO THE HARDEST THING A BOSS HAS TO DO.” TODD ASKS HIM FOR DETAILS, BUT LESLIE WAVES HIM OFF. “EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE MY BUD, IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT OF TURN. SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT, AT THIS MOMENT, I FEEL LIKE AN ISLAND. IT'S THE WORST PART OF THIS JOB. I IMAGINE IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN YOU SLICE UP VEAL KNOWING A BABY COW WAS KEPT IN A BOX AND SLAUGHTERED JUST SO YOU COULD SELL HIS FLESH.” LESLIE SMILES AND PATS TODD ON THE SHOULDER. “BUT DON'T WORRY. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. I ALWAYS DO.” A TROUBLED LESLIE EXITS. TODD WATCHES HIM GO, CONFUSED.

In the actual episode, the scene bears little resemblance to this. We made lot changes once we get on the floor of the grocery store. We shoot the show in order to keep the narrative continuity screw-ups to a minimum and we realized that moving the crew to the back of the store and then up stairs to the employee break room was a lot to do. So we decided at the last minute to shoot this scene in Todd’s Butcher dept.

During the scene with Todd and Leslie, Leslie grabs a piece of raw chicken that Todd is butchering and pops it in his mouth. The chicken wasn’t real of course. It was baby food sausage wrapped in pickled cabbage to look like chicken. I can’t believe how real it looks. The problem was the scene was the first up so it was 7am and eating pickled sausage really sucked. I think I ended up eating a dozen of them and they left a nice little rock in my stomach for the rest of the day. A small price to pay for some gross out humor, if you ask me.

I don’t know what got into Nancy, Robert and I when we wrote this one. We initially pitched an episode where the store gets infested with rats but Sony smartly persuaded us to try something else. I think a little of the rat shock comedy was left in our system because we decided Leslie should put the crew through a ‘Fear Factor’ eating contest. For the master shot, we used real food: lamb kidneys, pig ear, chicken feet and intestines. Todd’s Rocky Mountain Oyster was actually a cold, breaded meatball and he ate that during the scene. Yolanda’s peppers were peppers but they weren’t the spicy kind. Richard never ate his pig ear so we used the actual ear during the eating scene. Buck’s kidneys were replaced with prunes covered in syrup and Ingrid was given some sort of vegetable cut to replicate the chicken feet.

That scene lasts a few seconds but was fun as hell to shoot. People really were grossed out and I was dying laughing. You can see by the looks on the actors’ faces that they were having real trouble eating even the fake stuff. It looked so real and it was so early in the morning! So much fun.

That’s it for this week. I’ll be back to write about episode four which involves a lot of inter-cast kissing. It’s called ‘What Women Want’ and it’s my favorite.

John Lehr

Hi, blog readers! I feel like a professional blog guy, now that I'm plunking down my second blog. Wow, I just used the word "blog" three time in those two sentences. And there! I used it again. The word "blog," that is. There again. Maybe I should move on.

This next show is called "The Miracle Worker," but at the office we called it "Jesus Stain," for obvious reasons. I thought I'd point out a few things that happened when we were making this one.

In the first scene, Leslie accosts two Girl Scouts for selling their cookies in the store. The blonde girl is the daughter of one of the TBS executives, Lillah McCarthy. I know, I know, you're saying "Unfair!" and you may be right, but after you see her in action I think you'll agree that this kid kicks butt. Both girls were super-sweet and had no idea what to make of me. Lillah and her boss, Michael Wright, are the two TBS execs behind our show and are both ex-actors. I think that has a lot to do with their affinity for our show.

Because of the improv and the character-generated humor in the show, 10 Items is an actor-centered show. This is a departure, I think, from the writer-generated sitcoms of the '80s and '90s, which focused more on setup and punch lines. As former actors, I think these guys tapped into what we wanted to do right away. Unfortunately, Lillah's daughter seems to have the bug, which, as any nonlying actor will tell you, means she is doomed to a life of everlasting damnation. And restaurant jobs.

On that note: don't ever send your food back to the kitchen. Ever. Unless you want to eat spit, that is. Trust me. I was a cook, and I've seen the horror firsthand.

The next scene finds Leslie and Ingrid in Leslie's office. This set was located on the second floor of the grocery store in Reseda, where we shot. When we found out the store had a bunch of unused office space right above the store, we thought we had scored. We'd be able to use that space for sets and offices, plus we'd save money on our already tight budget because we wouldn't have to transport the crew to a different location whenever we went out of the store.

Also, we need to shoot the show in chronological order because the show is improvised — we never know quite how things are going to turn out. When you are writing a lot of the show on the fly like that, you need to go in order, so that things don't get completely out of hand. How can you shoot the end of the show when you don't know what the end is?

We were thrilled to find the offices, but we were shocked to realize that, during a heat wave in Southern California, there was no air-conditioning.

With all the lights and equipment, it was brutal — probably around 110 degrees or higher. I was loving my sweater vest. If you look closely you can see us sweating. Our makeup team is the best, but even they couldn't stop the downpour. Nothing more fun than trying to be funny while everyone is in a heat coma.

The worst thing was when we broke for lunch. We went outside to the parking lot, where the caterers had set up tents for us to eat. The course? A surprise! Hot lobster and steak. I love lobster and steak. But dipping lobster in melted butter in 100-degree temperatures? On a parking-lot surface? Tough. Delicious, but tough.

In the next scene, Carl and Leslie stand out in front of the store while Buck and Richard flier the cars at the SuperValueMart across the street. We shot the two scenes separately. First Nancy shot Buck and Richard, and then she later shot Bob and I.

It actually all took place in the same parking lot. We just needed one "over-the-shoulder" shot of Leslie far away from the lot to make it look like the two groups were far away from each other. We decided that the best way to do this was for me to stand in a different parking lot adjacent to the grocery store.

There was only one problem: We didn't have a permit to shoot there. So someone decided we should "steal" the shot — meaning, we sneak over the fence and just do it without a permit. And that's exactly what we did, until we got busted. It turned out the lot was owned by the local Catholic church, and the head priest was pissed.

Our line producer had to go over and apologize, and the priest made her promise she wouldn't use the shot in the show. Did she? Let's put it this way: She's going to burn in hell.

So there are just a few thoughts on what went down on the set. I hope you enjoy the show, and I'll post again before the next episode. It's a good one: Todd, the handsome butcher, gets sexually harassed.

For those of you interested in how improvised this show is, I've posted some outtakes and alternate scenes here.

Hi there blog reader. My name is John Lehr and I am the star of a yet-to-be-aired TV show called ‘10 Items or Less’. I just re-read that first sentence and laughed. It is laughable that this show came to be at all and now, after two years of struggling to get it on the air, here we are—days away. This show is a dream job for me: I executive produce, write and…as you already know, act as well. This show really started 20 years ago when I was at Northwestern University outside Chicago where I discovered a thing called improv.

“You mean I can say anything I want?” I had grown up in Kansas and the idea that you could get on stage and say whatever hit your brain was a shock. It was love at first sight. After graduating I hooked up with a bunch of Second City grads, formed a group called ‘Random Sample’, and started doing bar gigs all over Chicago. But after a while, doing improv games in bars for $20 a night ran a little thin. Soon I was working with an amazing group of people in a theater company called ED, which helped to pioneer a style of improv that focused on relationships and characters as apposed to games and satire. It was in one of these shows I was discovered by a talent agent from Fox who flew me and my partner at the time out to Hollywood for a performance called a ‘showcase’ where every agent and executive in town shows up to check out the new meat. We did pretty well, got agents and worked as character actors. But I really wanted to do something that combined my acting skills and my writing skills. I really wanted to improvise. But, as one NBC executive told me, “Improv will never make it on TV. It’s too inconsistent.” And she was right. Except that she wasn’t. At all. ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’ and ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ changed that, didn’t it? As I watched these shows, I liked what I saw and I wanted a chance.

I got my chance in the least likely of places. I did a one-scene role on an independent film directed by Nancy Hower. She asked me to improvise in the scene and loved it. She approached me a few days later to “shoot something on DV and see where it takes us.” Now there are a lot of people in Hollywood with DV cameras and dreams. I had done a lot of projects where we would “shoot something on DV and see where it takes us.” And it didn’t take us anywhere. My wife, Jennifer, was not very supportive. “Please do something that pays, honey.” But Nancy was tenacious and I finally agreed.

The minute I started working with her I was in love. We saw things eye to eye—our sense of humor matched perfectly and we laughed a lot while we worked. Over the next year we continued to shoot stuff on the weekends and this led to an independent film called ‘Memron’ which won the Slamdance Film Festival Audience award. Nancy directed, shot it, did the sound, edited it…everything. When she was cutting it, she turned to her friend Robert Hickey to produce and help with the story. After the success at Slamdance, the three of us met to see if we could take our style of comedy to TV.

We got together and worked out our pitch. We decided on a grocery store (it was perfect for improv because there are lots of nooks and crannies under one roof and it is evenly lit.) We mapped out the characters and story lines. We even snuck into grocery stores and shot some stuff on the fly—we’d get a couple of minutes before security kicked us out.

I sold a sitcom script to NBC Studios the previous year so we took our first meeting there. They loved it. Then we went to Sony. They loved it. Then we went to Fox. They loved it. We couldn’t believe it. We were actually in a mini-Hollywood bidding war. Sony was the most enthusiastic. They wanted to shoot a pilot in house (called a presentation pilot). This is unusual, as most studios want to sell the pitch straight to the network so the network puts up the cash for the pilot. Sony really took a gamble on us.

We wrote the script for the presentation pilot. “What?” you say, “Script? I thought this was improv?” We see improv as a great way to generate hilarious dialogue and characters but it still needs writing to make the story work–otherwise you end up with a bunch of gobbledygook. In a weird way, you actually have to write more for improv than you do for scripted, because the story can turn on a dime and you’ve got to be ready. You also have to write scenes that will work precisely for the actors you have in that scene. The piece has to be tailor made for them. It’s kind of like being a basketball coach. You design really complex plays made for your team and then let them execute it. We wanted a show that put our actors in the best possible situation for their particular talents.

We cast the show and shot it in a grocery store in Glendale that was OPEN for business. Actual shoppers would walk into the scene and we would just improvise with them. It created a great energy and we ended up with a great pilot. Sony took the presentation pilot to TBS and they bought the show.

TBS had us rewrite and shoot a new pilot. They wanted to make certain changes to the cast and back story. When we finished, they tested the show and, after months of nail biting, the president of TBS called to say the show had been picked up for five episodes. We wrote, shot, and edited all five. And now it is time to air them. I hope you like what you see. I think they’re funny as hell, but I may be a little biased.

I’ll be adding to this blog throughout the run of the shows commenting on each show: some of the funny things that happened, some of the pitfalls, successes and a few secrets. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy ’10 Items or Less’ after almost three years of work, it’s finally on the air!

John Lehr

check out the show at www.greensngrains.com

Can't wait to start blogging my new show 10 Items or Less on TBS!

Meanwhile check out www.greensngrains.com