|
An extract from a true story taken from the Fictitious Journal of Adhir Kalyan:
I walk down the aisle, raise my hand, and run my fingers along the products arranged meticulously on the shelves. One item, not in keeping with the host of products attempting to grab my attention, is slightly out of place, and as a result, grabs my attention. It is only when I slide it into its intended position that I notice the six numbers and two letters:
BB: 05.23.07
I cannot quite come to terms with what I have just seen. Perhaps I don't want to come to terms with what I have just seen, for maybe the trauma would be too much. I resist the inexorable realization like a wave that does not wish to crash on to the shore but knows resignedly that it will do just that, and reluctantly acknowledge that the best before date of May 23, 2007, has come. And gone. More than three months ago.
But the resignation is replaced by anger. This box of cookies has been wasted... is unwanted... has expired.
I really should have constructed that last sentence better.
As I sit down to write this, I reflect back on that fateful day. I was between takes on the set of Aliens in America, shooting on location at a convenience store for tonight's episode, entitled "Help Wanted."
The cookies were past their "Best Before" date. Expired. Really? Are you serious? I mean cookies are not milk. That may, upon initial inspection, appear to be a rather inane comment, but what I mean is that they are 1) yes, fine, clearly not milk, and 2) not classified as an item, like milk, that perishes quickly. Cookies last. For a long time. A really long time. Yet they had expired. In this convenience store. I mean, I don't know how long they had been on that shelf. Don't know if I want to know… 15 months? 18 months? 24 months?
My experience on Aliens in America has been a wonderful one. And this show has taught me a lot. Life lessons. Life lessons that money can't buy. Such as life is full of thrilling highs — walking through a locker room naked in the "No Man Is an Island" episode (liberating, I felt like Ewan McGregor in almost every film he's done), wearing, and dancing in, a fish costume in the "My Musky Myself" (fish… amazing creatures). But life can also deal you some devastating blows as I found out in "Help Wanted," such as convenience stores are the secondhand-car salesmen of the Grocery Store/Market World — flagrantly deceiving; grossly untrustworthy. If they were acting agents, they'd be the sort to ask you for a sign-up fee. If they were in the music industry, they'd be Milli Vanilli.
Aliens in America. A comedy that, yes, contains messages of tolerance, that, yes, offers a positive portrayal of a Muslim character, that, yes, entertains viewers and sometimes leaves them with something to think about, but, as I have shared… so much more. Life lessons.
Now I am sure that the Convenience Store Union will release a press statement stating that I am generalizing and giving them a bad reputation, or threaten to go on strike as unions, in general, so enjoy doing. In fact unions appear to do very little else.
Hopefully tonight, Raja Musharaff, Wisconsin's most recent exotic import, will mark a departure from his role as catalyst to help-those-around-him-question-their-own-perceptions-and-reach-a-greater-understanding-of-themselves, and instead, ladies and gentlemen, be a beacon of hope to all those convenience store owners who feel misunderstood by the general public, and restore a margin of respect to a job — no, a vocation — whose appeal, surveys have suggested, has been on a steady decline in recent times.
Whether he will be able to revolutionize such misconceptions, whether he will be successful in his quest, 30 minutes on the CW at 8:30 pm/ET will tell.
Within those 30 minutes, what will also be revealed is the next installment of "The Life and Times of the Tolchuk Family After They Unexpectedly Received a Pakistani Muslim Exchange Student."
This episode was written by Robia Rashid, a gifted young woman whose enthusiasm and energy for her work is matched by her charm.
Sharp, edgy, bold, and funny are some of the adjectives that have been bandied about by critics in their reviews of the show, and I'd like to believe "Help Wanted" continues that trend.
We see Raja take a job at a convenience store as India and Pakistan meet on middle-American soil ([South Asians + Convenience Store] X [Aliens in America] = [Subverting the Stereotype]). He does so after listening to Gary's "you kids need to learn the value of a dollar" speech, which happens after Gary himself — one needs to choose one's words carefully here — receives a rather particular employment-related speech, that seems to be lifted word for word from a how-to manual from the 1980s. Justin discovers The Lot, that most sacred of high-school spots — the secret hangout of The Cool and the Beautiful. And Claire, well she hangs out secretly at The Lot. Gary keeps something secret from Franny, who is blissfully unaware that she needs to be aware of this secret in order to start valuing the dollars Gary talks about the kids needing to understand the value of. The alpacas are mentioned but not seen, there is a surprise cameo from a rat, and doughnuts, fake IDs, and a stoner are all prominently featured to make for a highly entertaining episode.
We have shot our initial order of 13 episodes up here in Vancouver. I really enjoy living here. Perhaps because it reminds me of living in London. It is a charming and beautiful city that seems to have the right balance of just about everything — from the beach to the mountains, the greenery and the high-rises, the trendy clubs on Granville Street to the chess players and performance artists around the corner from them, it is a city that is infused with such cultural diversity and undoubtedly influenced strongly by an English sensibility and an American style of living.
We have been up here since the end of July, and it's been a three-month period of exciting, engaging work and most certainly fine times. It has helped to no end that we all get along so incredibly well and have become close, and it follows that we spend a great deal of time together off set as well as on. We've picked up friends along the way, most of whom are Vancouver-based actors who've worked on the show, and I have found the Canadian people to be most welcoming and hospitable.
Soon, like so many shows on television at this time of year, we will find out the future of Aliens in America. And when you are waiting to hear about a project and trying to get a sense of whether you'll be renewed for a full season or not, it is only natural for your thoughts to turn to the industry itself is it not?
Whilst I did jest when referring to the convenience store and its use of products that have exceeded their shelf life, television, I feel, is on the polar opposite of that spectrum. It appears that these are times when television shows, products of a different variety, are barely given a chance to have a life at all. They face the same commercial pressures, and failure to deliver swiftly often means failure.
And as a result, there aren't many new products out there. Because that often means taking a risk, and in an industry where accepting accountability is often the kiss of death, it does mean we encounter many of the same generic products, sometimes in different packaging, or with a shinier gloss to it.
Which is why we hope that Aliens in America is given a chance. I will not go on a lengthy spiel in support of the show I am so proud to be a part of, as it should speak for itself, but I don't think Aliens is a generic product. But this show's success will be dependent on word of mouth. Which takes time. Whether it will get that time, we'll soon know — our owners are currently making a decision on our shelf life.
|
