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New Face, Same Old Minds
Paget Brewster, Thomas Gibson and Joe Mantegna in The Unit by Michael Desmond/ABC Studios
Say this for Joe Mantegna: He doesn’t make Criminal Minds any worse. Like that’s even possible. This inexplicably popular crime drama remains the most pretentious, the most simplistic and the most dehumanizing of CBS’ current glut of procedurals. Replacing Mandy Patinkin, who quit between seasons — I’m guessing he finally watched an episode — Mantegna makes a valiant effort at creating an actual character, but he invariably gets lost amid the wood (his supporting cast) and the cheese (the scripts).
We first see him bird hunting in a Virginia marsh. The next time we see water, a dead body (a brutalized, mutilated woman, naturally) is floating in a Dallas suburb. This victim’s backstory? She comes home to find a "Have You Seen Me?" poster on her door with her own face on it. Understandably spooked, she goes to the sheriff, who figures it’s just a Halloween prank. We know better, having seen this show in action before. Soon enough, she’s a goner: sexually assaulted, drowned, with her face cut off (the killer leaves behind blank masks). Beyond that, we learn next to nothing about this victim, because this show (unlike superior crime fictions such as Without a Trace and Cold Case) really can’t be bothered with such things.
This week’s psychopath remains just as much of a cipher by the time the show reaches its pat, tidy conclusion. (Watching the episode once again reminded me how much better this subject matter was handled by a very short-lived NBC series, Unsub, which lasted all of eight episodes in 1989, one of the first shows I professionally reviewed. Way ahead of its time, Unsub was disturbing and unsettling, clearly influenced by the recently published Silence of the Lambs. By comparison, no matter how disgusting the grisly acts on Criminal Minds are shown to be, the execution is so bland it’s easier to shrug off, which I actually find much more obscene.
As retired FBI special agent David Rossi, who spent the last 10 years writing books about his cases and becoming somewhat famous, Mantegna brings a less hammy sensibility to his character than Patinkin’s woefully mannered take on Jason Gideon. Rossi is haunted, of course (aren’t they all?), and he’s returning to the job not only to help out the BAU team but to take a case of some dark unfinished business, which we catch glimpses of in fractured flashbacks. Rossi isn’t entirely at ease with the unit’s new methods and quirkier sensibilities (as always, Kirsten Vangsness as Garcia brings a little welcome pep to the proceedings), and he can’t quite believe the BAU has such ready access to a private jet. Mantegna is right to feel out of place. He's a strong addition to a show that doesn’t really deserve him.
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Oct 31, 2007 12:30 PM
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Thanks, Matt.
I loved Mr. Mantegna on "First Monday," but as much as I admire his talent, it's not enough to make me watch "Criminal Minds." I think I'll watch Monday's "Chuck" episode I have taped. 
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Oct 31, 2007 2:25 PM
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So why does the caption under the pic say these people are in The Unit, when they are from Criminal Minds?
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Oct 31, 2007 5:50 PM
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as you are intitled to your opinion, so am I. I love this show! keep up the good work cast!
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Oct 31, 2007 7:36 PM
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Sorry Matt gotta disagree with you here. I love Criminal Minds & have been anxiously awaiting JM's arrival. I love the team on this show and I'm not sure how JM will fit. I like these characters a lot.
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Oct 31, 2007 8:17 PM
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Oh Matt, so mean!
I love it (your comments not the show)!
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Nov 1, 2007 12:18 PM
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I read and write in these TV Guide Blogs all the time, but I have NEVER found myself in such disagreement with the initial review as I am right now.
As someone who has actually READ true crime novels about serial killers, the BAU (under any of it's names) and police procedurals in general, Criminal Minds is AMAZINGLY close to the real thing! Furthermore, if the cast seems "wooden" - which I also disagree with, by the way - they are portraying the reality of agents who simply CANNOT let themselves care too much or they would all have breakdowns! Many real cops use dark humour to deal with the terrible things they see; the sorts of dark jokes they employ to keep their sanity would not be acceptable on television, so they are portrayed as trying as hard as possible in order to keep their distances from the victims. And I don't blame them one bit. The reality of catching serial killers is that you DO find out more about torture than you ever wanted to know, and while most rookies want into the unit, the turnaround is HUGE, and people simply do not last longer than 5 years as an average - the human mind simply isn't programmed to deal with such horrors day after day.
I loved Gideon and the fact that his caring brought around his ultimate "demise" from the unit. That was impressively written around Patinkin' s still unexplained and bizarre behaviour. I thought I would really like Mantegna's addition to the cast, but I don't understand why someone who has seen all the blood, guts and gore that he has, would be an animal sport HUNTER: killing things for the pure thrill of it makes no sense, given what he is supposed to have seen. I'm not thrilled with his "hidden agenda" either, nor his inability to work with the team as opposed to grandstanding and ignoring Hotch as the boss. Did not like that one bit: one of the main reason this show works is because the ensemble cast is so strong TOGETHER, and he is going to have to learn that or leave - and don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Sorry Matt: you goofed with this one.
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Nov 1, 2007 4:24 PM
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Being close to the real thing does not necessarily make for good television. After all, this is supposed to be an entertaining drama, not a documentary.
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Nov 2, 2007 9:53 AM
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Matt-- You hit the nail on the head with this one!! This was the first episode of CM that I had watched and all I could think was, "This is an AWFUL rip-off of The Silence of the Lambs!!! Even some of the lines were the same. I'll never watch again.
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Nov 2, 2007 10:01 AM
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I agree with sharondunford...I too have read many profiler books and the writing is very realistic on this show. It is different in its portrayal of the victims because profiling requires more focus on the "unsub's" behaviors and reasonings. So comparing it to victim focused procedurals such as Cold Case and Without a Trace (both which I also watch and love) is unfair. They are not supposed to be similiar just because they have police/FBI in them.
Also, the character of David Rossi seems to be modeled on John Douglas who started the BAU and has sinced retired and went on to write many books on this subject and was a consultant on The Silence of the Lambs. All of the things David said in the show about the basement, no support staff, etc. have all been discussed in John Douglas' books. Therefore, it may not be to your taste, but it is realistic.
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Nov 2, 2007 1:17 PM
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Let's face facts you just hate this show. Jesus himself could pop up half way through the show and declare it's the best show on TV and even he watches it from heaven and you'd critique his dialog.
"Well just like everyone else on Criminal Minds Jesus was a little stiff."
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Nov 2, 2007 1:18 PM
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Sorry Matt, I've got to agree with sharondunford. This show is realistically portrayed and written and I for one enjoy that.
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Nov 4, 2007 1:34 AM
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Matt,
You are so correct in your assessment of this creative cesspool. Oh that America would wake up to the possibility of television that just gets rid of cheesy crime procedurals. There is just so much quality programming now, I find it hard to get around to all the shows that are worth watching and yet, time and again, these cookie cutter crime shows earn CBS huge audiences, mostly from senior citizens who don't want to change the channel from The Price is Right earlier in the day. Criminal Minds is simply awful in every way, especially the sanctimonious 2x4's that spout off the worst dialogue ever conceived. Thanks for calling this poor excuse for entertainment out the way it deserves.
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Nov 5, 2007 1:25 PM
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Wow, Matt! I can't believe you mentioned Unsub!
I watch Criminal Minds with some regularity and always find it predictably mediocre, but reliably so.
I also think every time about how Unsub did this better, and was so ahead of its time!
Do you remember Kevin Spacey as an arsonist in Unsub!?! Fabulous!
I think in many ways CM needs to be mediocre...at least if it's going to be on mainstream network tv and be about truly sick criminals.
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Nov 6, 2007 8:31 PM
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This show may not go into great detail about the person being killed or hurt because it is called CRIMINAL MINDS not VICTIM MINDS. This show does exactly what its supposed to do which is to give insight as to why the serial killers and other misfits in our society do what they do. If you want a drawn out plot as to why 'Sally' got killed, you are definetly better off watching one of the other shows...this one gives us the steps to solving the case.
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Nov 14, 2007 10:29 PM
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