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More Hills, Less Land (of the Lost)
Land of the Lost - The Complete First Season courtesy Rhino Theatrical
First of all, loving you guys for writing in last week. The world is filled with blogs these days (hell, this site is filled with blogs), so for anyone to read mine, much less reply? I’m feeling very Sally Field. Thanks for liking me!
Now, about the 90210-Melrose situation that seems to have erupted. Like Chappy explained with NASA-powered GPS accuracy in the comments, the final two episodes of 90210’s sophomore season introduced Grant Show as Melrose’s Jake Hanson, the dude who taught Drunky McKay "how to surf, ride a motorcycle…pick up girls." And having just finished the second season on DVD, that skill set obviously also included getting with Kelly Taylor, which is what Hanson tries while not building Jackie Taylor and Mel Silver’s wedding pavilion and squinting through his carefully swept-back-but-floppy hair. "I should probably be arrested for thinking what I’m thinking right now," he tells our favorite jailbait. Nothing says romance — or spin-off — like a potential case of statutory, huh?
Even before we get to the nuptials though, there are the travesties we must only speak of once: Steve Sanders on steroids and the Color Me Badd episode. Oh holy fright... what were they thinking?! I get that the writers needed to put the gang in a hotel so Donna could catch her mom having that "seedy" affair, but for real, for real. Color Me Badd? They weren’t even hot when they were hot! They were always bad. Or badd. Whatever, that one was a mess, despite the revelation that Jim and Cindy are so terminally unhip that they can spend an entire rainy Saturday at a Shaker furniture exhibit. As for the steroids hour, well that simply needs to be seen so y'all can bask in the glory of Ian Ziering and his curly mullet (curlett?) throwing Jason Priestley around the back room of the Peach Pit in a fit of ‘roid rage like, 12 hours after taking his first dose. Now, I’ve never juiced before, but I bet you get the bacne before the rage blackouts. And neither, I’m sure, kick in that quickly.
Yet even those nits don’t count, because there is nothing better than 90210 at its cheesy best, and the show totally hit its stride in Season 2. Dylan and Brenda on the skids, David and Donna on the rise, Andrea the 40-year-old virgin leading the West Beverly condom crusade, and — beat this — an uncredited Denise Richards as a Taylor-Silver wedding guest who hits on Steve. Apparently that poor girl never had good taste in men. By the time the synthesized theme is playing over Dylan’s mad dash from Casa Walsh after his blowout with Jim, and a bitch-soaked Brenda’s standing on the front yard in her hid-ay-ous pink bridesmaid dress, you can almost smell the teen spirit dripping from the closing credits. It’s enough to make a guy go grab his first season of Melrose on DVD and call out "sick" for the next few days.
Which I won’t, since our next order of business is The Land of the Lost, and that deserves at least a few words before I go. If only to warn those of you with the same warm and fuzzy memories I had before popping in the first-season DVD set that this shizz is out there! I don’t know what Sid and Marty Krofft were H.R. puffing on back in the day, but the '70s were definitely less freaky for kids growing up during them than they are for grown-up kids revisiting them.
If you’ve forgotten (or blocked it out), Land was like a pre-pre-pre-Jurassic Park about Marshall, Will and Holly, a family of khaki-favoring rafting aficionados who go over a waterfall and wind up in a giant green-screen world of rubber dinosaurs, monkey people and the always name-droppable Sleestaks. Seriously, mention them in passing and you’ll see people of a certain age get a little too happy. That they’re actually upright lizards in lime green scuba suits and biker goggles won’t even matter. Throw in a Chaka reference and you might actually get some.
It was the coolest thing ever in 1974, I swear. Of course, so were footie pajamas and my brother’s Big Jim action figures. Today? Not so much. Trippy as all get-out and cheaper than most of the women on Rock of Love, this first-season set is another one of those pseudo-gems that needs to be seen. For some reason I think Wesley Eure, who played Will, was this teen idol with a perpetually open shirt and those Clarks Wallabee suede shoes. So I hope he milked that deal for every Dynamite magazine cover he could, 'cause lemme tell ya, he sort of comes off as the Jack McFarland of the Lost, if you know what I mean, mmmkaaay?
Anyway, there are a ton of other Saturday morning goodies out there to devour on DVD (did someone say Isis?) and we’ll get to them soon enough. But next week I think a little "best FX sitcom you’re not watching" action is in store.
Until then, don’t hog the remote!
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Aug 27, 2007 5:51 PM
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I remember you from the old Watercooler days as well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us on old school DVD sets. I am a TV head for real, so watching old tv in my own time is very appealing. So far all I have is DS9 seasons 5-7 and I am looking forward to purchasing others.
I missed the one from last week but will read when I am done. I was very much into 90210 when it was out but I think the fashion from the 90's (and the 80's yikes!) especially on this show is too off putting at times. All that bright make-up and Brenda's awful bangs! Anyway, thanks for the quick trip down memory lane. How I loved the on again/off again Brenda/Dylan saga.
As for the Land of the Lost, you should put a warning label (for those of us at work!) before reading that portion of your blog. I laughed so hard I had to walk away from my desk - I was crying and I know my co-workers think I am crazy. ITA, someone or all of them were puffing on something back then. I guess we were coming down from the sugar high of the cereals too so it balanced out! 
Land of the Lost was a really corny show with cheese on the side, yet I watched every week. Thanks for the laugh and fond memories of Marshall, Will and Holly (I still remember the lame theme song)! The Laaaaa-aaaannnnd of the LOST!
Can't wait for you to blog on Isis and Capt Marvel, yeah I watched that mess too! Go Saturday mornings in the 70's!!!
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Aug 28, 2007 3:49 PM
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Trippy as all get-out and cheaper than most of the women on Rock of Love
Now THAT was funny! Just don't go dis'n on my Jess from ROL though!
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Aug 28, 2007 4:25 PM
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Ah, the "young" love that was Dylan and Brenda. I spent many a long night wishing I had a boyfriend as nifty as him. Then I grew up. But still, it was fun while it lasted.
And, I agree with Lexly, warning labels would be good. I think I woke the kids up with my laughing. I had a friend I worked with who swore a sales rep we knew was really Chaka in disguise. I'm not sure she was wrong. Ah, good times!
Cannot wait to hear about Isis. And, of course, Shazam!
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Aug 29, 2007 12:40 AM
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*shudder* The Color Me Badd episode *shudder* Now that was a memory I had successfully suppressed--until now. Thanks for the reminder, Damian! You really are evil!
I don’t know what Sid and Marty Krofft were H.R. puffing on back in the day, but the '70s were definitely less freaky for kids growing up during them than they are for grown-up kids revisiting them.
I can understand what you're saying about Land of the Lost. I watched that show pretty faithfully every day after school, even when I realized the waterfall scene from the opening had to have been shot in someone's toilet. And I loved every cheesy minute of it. But I wonder if I'll be able to watch that sort of thing now. I loved The Electric Company back then as well, so I bought the DVD set when it came out last year. It was awful. I began questioning my tastes as a 6-year-old watching this show. And then, when my 4-year-old niece got up to play somewhere else and my 10-year-old nephew said, "Do we have to watch this?", I realized the jig was up. It was much sweeter in my memory. (Sesame Street has stood the test of time, Electric Company, unfortunately, has not.) So, I'm too nervous to get Land of the Lost. Although, I might be tempted with Sigmund the Sea-Monster.
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Aug 29, 2007 9:14 AM
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Okay, I feel like I have to stick up for my Oklahoma boys "Color Me Badd"...but I just can't. (I have the same problem with Hanson, too).
I loved me some 90210 and stuck with it till the dirty end. Once they crossed over to Melrose Place, my Aaron Spelling love, that had been planted as a kid with Love Boat and Fantasy Island, only grew, because as a teenager, I could finally understand what all the angst was about. Will you be enlightening us with posts about MP, too? And welcome to the blogging world.
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Aug 29, 2007 11:29 AM
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I think I want to marry you, thatothrgirl! Love Boat, Chuck's Angels, Dynasty...Spelling made the world go 'round! Yes, Melrose and Dynasty columns will be coming soon.
You guys rock for making this so much fun.
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Aug 29, 2007 12:09 PM
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Yes! Dynasty! Now that show brings back great memories of college. I always watched while drinking champagne (the cheap stuff, of course, 'cause it was college). I know Dallas was the bigger hit at the time, but I loved those Alexis and Krystal catfights! The one where they fell in the pool was a true classic.
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Aug 29, 2007 12:53 PM
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Oh, and don't forget to thank Ausiello for the link to your blog. It worked. I really enjoyed it. The Land of the Lost stuff was great. The Sleestaks were very scary back in the day.
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Aug 29, 2007 12:56 PM
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Is it 1990??? Do I really still have two boxes full of video tapes of every 90210 episode? I think it's time I get the DVD's, don't you? I can't think of anything as delicious as sitting around watching hours and hours of this show. Your insight is always causing me to snort out loud, especially over Brenda's "outfits."
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Aug 29, 2007 3:02 PM
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I know how lame the Color Me Badd epi. is, so I won't try to defend it. I still love it, so I'll leave it at that.
I have to say, though, that my favorite season will always be season 3. Those were actually the very first episodes I saw when I began wathcing it years ago through the magic of syndication on WGN, and they will always have a special place in my heart.
Brenda/Kelly/Dylan! And they try to act all "mature" about it--hah!
fake French!Brenda!!!
"It's A Totally Happening Life"
Donna Martin graduates!!! 'nuff said.
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Aug 29, 2007 5:56 PM
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Best comedy on television, period. Best sitcom nobody is watching... The show is on FX... The show normally debuts in the summer but this year is waiting for September....Think of it as "Cheers" on acid...
That has to be "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"!!!!! First two seasons on DVD is coming!
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Aug 30, 2007 4:16 PM
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