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Bitchslaps, a Babe Named Locklear and Big Sopranos News
Dynasty - The Second Season courtesy Paramount
Don’t laugh, but in the summer of 1981, I lived for three things: the birth of MTV, the Royal wedding and the identity of the bitch in the big hat who stormed Blake’s murder trial at the end of Dynasty’s first season.
As you can probably tell, I wasn’t a normal kid. Didn’t even climb a tree until I had to outrun the cops in high school. Don’t ask, don’t tell, OK?
Anyway, for the kiddies among us, MTV used to show things called music videos and had veejays with gigantic hair. Now, not so much. Chuck and Di? Please, if I never hear “Candle in the Wind” again, Elton John would still owe me. And the hat ho? Let’s just thank the TV gods that some people have stood the test of time. Even if this one did make me wait until November for the new season to begin.
Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan, I love you.
And not in the “being her for Halloween” way. More like, “I love you for being the first character to show me how to throw a drink in someone’s face the right way.” Or “I love you for thinking a mink-fringed gold lame wrap is appropriate for an engagement party.” Even better, “I love you for being so completely watchable on DVD.”
In fact, the entire second season of Dynasty is a joy to re-behold and not just because it’s the year Joan Collins kicked things into high gear. It also totally makes up for the first season’s shortened run of 15 sort of slow-moving episodes and validates those of us who chose Denver-Carrington over Ewing Oil. Don’t get me wrong, Dallas rocked, too, but come on. Those people wore cowboy boots with tuxes. I get a rash just writing that sentence.
No, the glamour here is slathered on so thick, you can almost smell the Forever Krystle coming off this godsend for fans hankering for the days when primetime soaps didn’t need dead narrators, McSteamy surgeons or America Ferrera to keep them hooked. And unlike some shows that think “continuing drama” means “dragging things on until we’re cross-eyed,” life happens quickly around the Carrington compound. Blake’s manslaughter sentence is barely commuted before the wretched Claudia is trying off herself, Fallon’s paternity is being questioned and James Farentino is creeping everyone out as crazy-eyed shrink Nick Toscanni. Then of course, there is the hypnotic power of Linda Evans’ immovable coif, like a golden curtain split by her eternally pained visage. How that woman and poor man’s Patrick Duffy, John James, maintained their blow-dried styles for the show’s entire run is obviously not for mortals to figure out.
But hands-down, the biggest thrill here—aside from the first Alexis-Krystle smackdown in the Carrington guesthouse (“If you want a rematch, just whistle…if you can!”&mdas;his the debut of Heather Locklear as Krystle's white-trash niece, Sammy Jo Dean. Armed with the worst Southern accent this side of Amy Locane in the first season of Melrose Place, Aaron Spelling’s lucky charm shows up early and leaves little to the imagination in an array of short-shorts that would make your camel-toes curl. Granted, it’s also a star-making turn, with those winged tresses and wanton looks at sometimes-gay husband Steven that gave us our first taste of the vixen who would become Amanda Woodward. And man, is it sweet! Too bad Alexis bribes “that little tramp” to skedaddle after a dozen episodes or so, because that knocked La Locklear out of the action until Sammy Jo pops back up in the middle season 3, drenched in even more ‘80s blue-eyeshadowy hotness.
As with most primetime soaps on DVD, this set is best consumed over the course of several nights (and nightcaps, for anyone who indulges). With all the business going down, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by Blake’s blindness, Krystle’s miscarriage, Fallon’s fling with creepy shrink guy and designer Nolan Miller’s miracle-gro shoulder pads. I swear, by the time Alexis literally schtups Cecil Colby into cardiac arrest in the legendary finale, half the men have been shot at, cheated on or blown up, while the women all resemble the Drag Queen Football League.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because let’s face it, some shows have to go over-the-top. It’s the only place with enough room for all the big hats.
Next week: When Emmy winners attack! Oh, and speaking of Emmys, start saving your pennies, folks…
THE SOPRANOS: SEASON 6, PART II
Exclusively from HBO Video on October 23, 2007
Includes the following special features:
“Making Cleaver,” – an exclusive sneak-peek at the behind-the-scenes making of the film that Christopher pitched in Hollywood
“Music of The Sopranos” – a retrospective look at the final season and the music that helped shape it
Four audio commentaries from cast members – Episode 1: Steven Schirripa, Episode 3: Dominic Chianese, Episode 7: Robert Iler, Episode 8: Steven Van Zandt
AND THAT FINAL EPISODE
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Sep 19, 2007 12:08 PM
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Yay, Damian!
Now you're talkin'!
I have been waiting over two years for this second season set to come out, and I have not been disappointed (I'm about midway through the season).
I have more things I want to say about this, but right now I have to get to a Colbyco board meeting, so it will have to wait until later.
But I did want to say how happy I was to see your review this morning! Good job!
"Drag Queen Football League" -- I love it!
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Sep 19, 2007 1:20 PM
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shows up early and leaves little to the imagination in an array of short-shorts that would make your camel-toes curl
Wow - now that's a visual!!!
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Sep 19, 2007 2:32 PM
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(Let me warn people who plan to watch Dynasty for the first time on DVD – this contains spoilers you may not want to know ahead of time.)
Damian, I was so happy to see your review of Dynasty -- one of my all-time favorite shows.
For me, the improvements made by producers for Dynasty’s second season are apparent before a line of dialogue has ever been uttered: During the opening credits, the more familiar version of the opening theme has replaced the bare-bones version -- curiously missing the familiar trumpet solo! -- that was used for the first season episodes (except for the pilot).
And the upgrades don’t end there. Continuing in a musical vein, the first season’s dour, melancholy incidental music (punctuated by very non-Dynasty pastoral guitars for scenes featuring the blue-collar Blaisdels) has been fine-tuned into the more powerful dramatic score typical of the rest of the series – in my opinion, some of the most effective background music ever written for a TV show.
Moving on to more substantive issues...as you've already pointed out, Damian, the additions of Alexis and Sammy Jo are most significant to the overall history of the series. The character of Nick Toscanni, on the other hand, is a one-season wonder, with little lasting impact on anybody. (Nonetheless, he does have some effective scenes with Blake, Krystle, Claudia and Fallon.)
Just as important as the additions are the subtractions. Bo Hopkins was excellent as Matthew Blaisdel during Season 1, but the working-class-oilman-with-family-problems storyline clearly was not as interesting as what was going on in that mansion. There were two different shows battling for survival, and (as often happens in real life) the rich people won.
So, Matthew and daughter Lindsay disappeared, as well as major dead-weight character Walter Lankershim (played by Dale Robertson, who went on to play another dead-weight character, Frank Crutcher, Miss Ellie’s post-Jock pre-Clayton squeeze, on Dallas).
Luckily, however, they kept the wonderful Pamela Bellwood, whose portrayal as on-again-off-again crazy Claudia is always fascinating – even when she’s in silent mode, she conveys volumes. An important second season development (and one that impacts plots for years) is the way that Blake develops protective feelings toward Claudia – who is poignantly positioned as the innocent (relatively speaking) bystander who lost everything in the aftermath of the Ted Dinard trial.
Although the first season was pretty downbeat and fun-free (except for Fallon), I still think it was necessary to lay the groundwork for Season 2. For example, the gradual warming of majordomo Joseph toward Krystle -- mostly due to her miscarriage and the threatening presence of the first Mrs. Carrington -- would not have been as effective had we not seen how dreadful he was to her immediately following her marriage to Blake.
The constantly evolving relationships are really what make Dynasty tick – the various expected and unexpected combinations make for some fascinating scenes between Claudia and Steven, Fallon and Jeff, Joseph and Alexis, Cecil and Claudia, Steven and Sammy Jo, Alexis and Claudia – let’s face it – Alexis and anybody.
Happily, the classic wicked Dynasty wit is more than evident in Season 2.
Alexis to daughter Fallon (whom she hasn’t seen in years): “I’m glad to see that your father had your teeth fixed, if not your tongue.”
Jeff to wife Fallon (suspecting that she was with a lover the night before): “Krystle lost the baby...What did you lose last night, Fallon – your amateur standing?”
Needless to say at this point, I love Dynasty. I am so glad to finally have Season 2 – for a while, it didn’t look like it would ever happen (due to low sales for Season 1). Luckily, a change in the rights ownership paved the way for a more streamlined (i.e., simplistic menus and virtually no extras) release.
I now find myself eagerly anticipating a Season 3 release (hopefully, Season 2 sales will merit one). Season 3 was probably my favorite, with the arrivals of Adam, Kirby and Krystle’s ex-husband – and that famous poison paint!
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Sep 20, 2007 4:25 AM
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I so agree Dynasty over Dallas anyday. Camp & trash rule.Every Wednesday couldn't wait to see what the Carringtons were up too. The early years were the best season 2-5 my personal favorite was Pamela Sue Martin although I enjoyed Heather,Joan,Pamela Bellwood,Linda Evans,Diahann Carrol & Catherine Oxenburg too.
Nothing lie shoudler pad power!
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Sep 20, 2007 11:02 AM
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I so agree Dynasty over Dallas anyday. - nyjoey77
Don't get me wrong -- I also loved Dallas. And Knots Landing. And Falcon Crest, Paper Dolls and Berrenger's.
Even Flamingo Road, Emerald Point NAS, Bare Essence and The Colbys weren't all bad.
Let's face it -- I was an '80s primetime soap-aholic!
my personal favorite was Pamela Sue Martin although I enjoyed Heather,Joan,Pamela Bellwood,Linda Evans,Diahann Carrol & Catherine Oxenburg too. - nyjoey77
Loved, loved, LOVED Pamela Sue Martin. She is absolutely riveting.
In addition to all of those you listed, other favorites of mine included Kathleen Beller (Kirby), Deborah Adair (Tracy), the magnificent Gordon Thomson (Adam) and (for some inexplicable reason) Helmut Berger (Peter DeVilbis). I can't wait for Seasons 3 and 4!
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Sep 20, 2007 1:20 PM
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I hated Helmut Berger actually Peter DeVilbis I wanted Fallon the real Fallon Pamela Sue Martin with Jeff. I'm getting scared now I Chappy we agree too much LOL. I remember all the shows you mentioned I basically stuck with the big ones.
Dynasty
Knot's Landing (I loved Micheele Lee, Donna Mills,Joan Van Ark, Michelle Philips, Constance McCashin,Julie Harris, Lisa Hartman,Ava Garnder & especially Nicollette Sheirdan).
Dallas
Falcon Crest (Jane Wyman,Abby Dalton,Ana Alicia,Dana Sparks,Kristen Alfonso)
in that order I also remember the others Paper Dolls first look at Nicollette Sheridan.Bare Essence Genie Francis,
Flamingo Road Morgan Fairchild,Emerald Point first look at the beautiful Sela Ward.
The Colbys paled in comparision to Dynasty.
My name is Joey I too was an 80's primetimne Soap-Aholic. They must be a support group for people like us. Oh wait there is the TV Guide web-site that will do.
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Sep 20, 2007 1:47 PM
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Aaaaaah....the memories.
I wish Falcon Crest, Paper Dolls and more seasons of Knots Landing would come out on DVD.
I wanted Fallon the real Fallon Pamela Sue Martin with Jeff. - nyjoey77
So did I! But DeVilbis was a good, slimy complication for Fallon to deal with -- it made for a good story. Unfortunately, that was PSM's final season (wasn't it?).
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Sep 20, 2007 2:18 PM
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The first step is admitting that we're powerless folks!
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Sep 20, 2007 2:24 PM
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The first step is admitting that we're powerless folks! - Damian Holbrook
Oh, I totally admit that, Damian!
I have no doubt that I'll be first in line again when Season 3 comes out!
(Funny sidebar: The day that Season 2 came out, I tried several stores trying to find it. In one, the girl I had initially asked about it -- and who clearly had no idea what I was talking about -- called over another girl, who happened to be named Fallon (!), to ask her about it. Not only had Fallon heard of the show, but she also proceeded to tell me that her mom was a huge Dynasty fan and was going to name her Alexis, but because she had such big wide eyes, she named her Fallon instead! Kind of cool! And it helps balance out all of those 25-year-old Krystles running around out there.)
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Sep 20, 2007 2:57 PM
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