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Jessica Simpson's Blonde Ambition Could Set Record
Jessica Simpson on location for "Blonde Ambition" by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com
It seems Jessica Simpson's new movie, Blonde Ambition, may have set some sort of record. With an opening day gross of $384, it may be one of the lowest grossing theatrical films ever. In what sounds like a shamelessly uncredited remake of Mike Nichols' Academy Award-winning comedy Working Girl, Simpson stars as a sweet, small-town gal from Oklahoma who climbs the corporate ladder at a construction firm in big, bad New York City. My guess is that a credited Luke Wilson stars as the Harrison Ford character. Now in all fairness, Blonde Ambition, which was produced by father Joe Simpson's ickily named Papa Joe Productions, was only released into eight theaters, all in Simpson's and Wilson's home state of Texas. To put this in perspective, I Am Legend opened across the country on over 3600 screens, and Blonde Ambition, which is scheduled to come out on DVD on January 22 anyway, arrived with none of the ad muscle accompanying its holiday season competition, like this week's box-office champ, National Treasure: Book of Secrets ($45.5 million so far). But when you break it down, it turns out only 48 people paid to see Blonde Ambition on its opening day, which means only six people per theater. (Although according to a posting on Cinematical.com, three of those screens were in Cinemark Discount Theaters, which offered $2 tickets after 6 pm, so that number could be marginally higher.) Doesn't someone like Jessica Simpson have more than 48 friends? What about that big Texas family of hers? And I understand Owen Wilson maybe too fragile to sit through a Jessica Simpson comedy without at least one drink beforehand, but what about the rest of the Wilson clan? And doesn't co-star Andy Dick have fans? Just how bad is this thing anyway?
PS: It should be noted that thanks to a DVD screener leak, Blonde Ambition has been available online for weeks, and so far over 6000 fans — or people who just like getting something for nothing — have downloaded it. So has Blonde Ambition fallen victim to digital piracy, or the unbreakable curse of Jessica Simpson?
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Dec 23, 2007 6:19 PM
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This is just too funny!!! Thanks TVGuide for keeping the holiday mood light and funny during this season. I have to admit I do feel sorry for Jessica Simpson in some way. She is not (not even close) nearly as bad as the some people in the entertainment industry such as...
...I just hope, wish, and pray that if Paris Hilton and all the other Hollywood dummies (they know who they are) ever have a movie premiere that their figures are much lower than this, like $0 for a day, weekend, month, year. What's left? That will be a world record, and I will certainly laugh to my grave if that should ever happen.
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Dec 24, 2007 12:37 AM
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Blonde Ambition, may have set some sort of record. With an opening day gross of $384
Maybe second place but not 1st. Everyone knows the record belongs to the infamous Zyzzyx Road, starring Ms. Katherine Heigl. It holds the record with a grand total of $20.
Every movie is available online before it is released (Trust Me  ) so I highly doubt that those who downloaded it weren't planning to pay admission.
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Dec 24, 2007 1:21 AM
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You know 47 of those people were her family...
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Dec 24, 2007 7:12 AM
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I live in TX and it was playing in my city, but at the dollar movie theatre, not even a real movie theatre! A dollar too expensive if you ask me....
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Dec 24, 2007 10:19 AM
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It must be a really slow news day...
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Dec 24, 2007 10:35 AM
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She has no talent, she would probably be a cute clerk in some big company. better yet, marry the quarterback and be on easy street. Have T.O.as the best man for Tony Romo.
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Dec 24, 2007 10:44 AM
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Jessica Who?? Are you talking about Ashley'a sister? Nick Lachey's ex wife? The person, Jessica Simpson, has done nothing of interest in her life. The Newlyweds TV show was starring and mostly about Nick--at least the funniest parts. His reaction to her was the funny part. In the best segments, Nick was alone, moving furniture and trying to lay sod. As for Jessica's singing, she has a loud voice that roams all over the scale hunting for the correct note which she can't ever seem to find. And she is no longer pretty since the eyebrow and lip puffing cosmetic surgery. The movie has a good title, 'though. Seriously, I think Jessica could be a good actress if she got some lessons and a good role. Maybe if she got a better manager. . .
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Dec 24, 2007 1:09 PM
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It must be a really slow news day...
Actually, this is not a news blog, simply an editor's blog. 
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Dec 24, 2007 1:43 PM
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Given the proper promotion, it could have broken the $400 barrier.
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Dec 25, 2007 5:43 AM
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Actually, this is not a news blog, simply an editor's blog.
LOL. I doubt if something major happened yesterday: any new developments on the strike, or, uh, Britney invited to perform at the Grammys, then this wouldn't have been blogged.
Then again, maybe you guys actually find Jessica interesting. Sucks for you 
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Dec 25, 2007 8:50 AM
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Actually I find any of Jessica's failures interesting. Bitter? Yap. These people should never have been made famous in the first place.
Jessica.
Paris.
Britney.
Lindsey.
And so on.
Ugh.
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Dec 25, 2007 10:53 AM
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dogstar, the only person that you mentioned that should not have become famous is really paris. All the other 3 have done things to earn their celebrity status:
Jessica was a fairly successful pop singer in her day prior to her marriage to Nick Lachey and then the subsequent realty show...in fact i'm sure her stardom was a major factor in mtv even putting that show on-air. If nick lachey had married an unknown woman i doubt if it would have been televised.
Britney...for whatever you think of her now and for whatever your opinion of pop music is nobody can argue w/ her mega popstar status. Quoting wikipedia-"Spears has sold over 83 million records worldwide according to Zomba Label Group.[7] The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) ranks her as the eighth best-selling female artist in American music history, having sold 31 million albums in the U.S" So...she's not famous because she's a trainwreck but she's famous because she's sold millions of records and THEN turned into a trainwreck. She was a great entertainer and certainly earned her fame.
Lastly, Lindsey was a child star and a Disney darling starting in lots of movies aimed at younger audiences (Parent Trap, Freaky Friday) and then also has played in some serious adult movies such as Bobby. So she too gained her fame not for being an F at life, but for being an actress.
Like I said the only worthless celebrity w/ no reason for her fame is Paris who has whored herself to the media in order to receive fame because of her last name.
As an aside...Jessica has never been involved in the crazy things that the other 3 have and so to lump her in like that isn't fair.
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Dec 25, 2007 6:32 PM
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All the other 3 have done things to earn their celebrity status
I'll lump Jessica Simpson in, yo. Where's her talent bringing her now? Where are any of their talents?
It seems like the "celebrity status" all of these girls have "earned" haven't been because of their talent but because they're addicted to the spotlight. They're working 24/7 to be in front of those cameras rather than making CDs or movies. And it isn't as if the paparazzi/media are into them because of their quality music or Oscar worthy performances. They like them because they're wild, pretty, famous girls.
None of them have "earned" the celebrity status they've recently reached because of past efforts. No one liked Lindsay's last few movies. Does anyone even remember Jessica's last album and movie? And even though critics have considered Brit's latest a solid effort, it isn't as if she wrote any of it or even sang it, considering she uses the vocoder most of the time. Compare these girls to Beyonce or Scarlett Johannson or Jessica Alba, who gained fame right around the same time these girls did. They are targeted by the paparazzi but continue to focus on being successful and private. They continue to earn their fame. Britney, Jessica, and Lindsay don't.
It's all due to the "Paris effect": being famous just to be famous. If you don't know it by now, just watch any entertainment show or read any gossip magazine and count how many times they do a story on their latest movie/album release.
It's all of our faults, really. Theirs for reveling in the emptiness of those flashbulbs; the paparazzi/media for being chauvinist, dirty men/jealous, haggardly women; and us for our nosiness and Schadenfreude.
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Dec 26, 2007 12:49 PM
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ok two points...
Jessica does not whore herself out to the paparrazi like paris and britney and lindsey...so in that respect i said its not fair to lump her in w/ them. She's never been photographed passing out in a nightclub, or coming out of a car sans undies or videoed crashing into a parked car and then doing a hit and run..so she's NOT like those other girls.
And my 2nd point is the only reason that britney and lindsey and jessica are even in the news is not because the paps follow them but its the other way around. I have friends who party hard but nobody follows them w/ cameras because they're not famous. Britney and lindsey and jessica became famous BEFORE any of the crazy behavior (again jessica isn't known for that). Its not like the 1st time we heard of britney or lindsay was on TMZ or access hollywood or something. Granted while they continue to put on a show for the photogs now, they didnt get started that way.
Paris is the only one who had no prior start...she used her money to buy fame and then made her sex tape that really got her name out there. She's the true media whore.
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Dec 26, 2007 8:56 PM
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