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Live Press Tour Diary: CBS, Day 1

Mandy Patinkin by Vivian Zink/CBS

EXECUTIVE SESSION

9:09 am: CBS is running a fancy trailer featuring highlights from last season. Funny thing: Mandy Patinkin's nowhere to be found!

9:12 am: Eye prez Nina Tassler takes the stage to meet the press. There's a debate raging amongst us media types about which hot topic will get more questions, Patinkin's exit from Criminal Minds or the controversy swirling around Kid Nation (a rumpus, I must confess, I haven't been following). My money's on the Patink.

9:18 am: Tassler unleashes a flurry of scoop in her opening remarks.

• There'll be more clues about the mother on HIMYM.
• The season premiere of Cold Case will be an all-Nirvana episode.
• Little Jake will enter junior high on Two and a Half Men. (Stop the presses!)
• On Ghost Whisperer, we'll learn that Jim and Melinda didn't choose Grandview, Grandview chose Jim and Melinda.
• Horatio has a biological son on CSI: Miami. (Old news!)
• CSI/Without a Trace crossover coming with William Petersen and Anthony LaPaglia.

9:22 am: Lots of talk about Jericho's resurrection. Tassler admits that the long mid-season break hurt the show.

9:24 am: First Kid Nation Q! "We knew we were going to create some controversy," says Tassler. "It's good that we're talking about the issues and challenges that these kids have to go through. But the whole objective is to get out there and do something different."

9:27 am: First Mandy Q! Tassler makes a cheeky joke about how she thought the "size of Shemar Moore's FBI badge" was going to be the first question of the day. "Did you see that on Perez Hilton?" she asks the reporter. Oh, Nina, behave! Back to Mandy, she says he "came to me and asked to be released from the show, and we accommodated that request. It was a personal issue. In the legacy of Law & Order and ER, the show will go on." Pressed for the exact reason for his abrupt exit, she says, "I can only hope that in the very near future, Mandy will be able to answer those questions."

9:28 am: Regarding the nasty backstage kerfuffle between NCIS star Mark Harmon and exec producer Don Bellisario that ended in Bellisario's ouster, Tassler tries to brush it off by saying, "It's the natural evolution of a show" to let other writers move up the ranks and take over. She acknowledges that she attempted to mediate things between the two, but to no avail.

9:31 am: Second Mandy question... but it's boring, so I'll spare you the deets.

9:32 am: Close to Home "was actually doing well for us," Tassler admits. "The issue around that show getting canceled was more about... putting new [buzzworthy] shows on the schedule."

9:33 am: Tassler drops a bombshell: "Your pilot should not necessarily be your best episode." So that explains why my ears were bleeding during Viva Laughlin.

9:34 am: A reporter asks Tassler to name the top three complaints Harmon had about Bellisario. She declines, and instead offers us this juicy morsel: "A star having issues with a show-runner is nothing new."

9:36 am: More Mandy! A reporter points out that the statement CBS put out about Mandy's exit claimed he left over "creative differences." Yet she just said he left for "personal reasons." Which is it? "Creative differences is a euphemism for personal issues." That gets a huge laugh.

9:37 am: Scoop! The season premiere of Jericho opens with Stanley and Mimi getting engaged.

9:39 am: Tassler has confidence that former Angel auteur David Greenwalt is just the person to retool their vampire show Moonlight. "Obviously, he is well skilled in this particular genre."

9:41 am: Another Mandy question! Regarding his replacement, Tassler says everyone sees this as "an opportunity to bring a new character into the mix." Want a little scoop? I hear they're wooing ******* *e****.

9:42 am: Another NCIS Q. Tassler says the Bellisario/Harmon conflict was "resolved in the best interest of the show." And by show, she means Harmon.

9:47 am: Asked about Gary Dourdan's violent meltdown last night in Hollywood, which was caught on tape by TMZ.com, Tassler says she just heard about it and needs to investigate further before commenting. Check your inbox, Nina: I just forwarded you the link!

9:48 am: Another Kid Nation Q! Who cares?!?

9:54 am: Mandy! Tassler's still not saying why he went bonkers. "I don't want to be a pain, but I hope in the very near future Mandy will address all these questions. I just don't think this is the forum to discuss this. I know that's not the answer you want."

9:57 am: Last question — and it's about Mandy! Tassler's still not saying why he went bonkers. Final (estimated) tally: Mandy 12, Kid Nation 9. The Patink wins!

CANE PANEL

10:15 am: A heads-up: I'm only half-listening to this session due to my fast-breaking Rosie O'Donnell exclusive. For what it's worth, I hear this Jimmy Smits-fronted Latino soap is the real deal. (Haven't seen it yet.)

10:20 pm: Costar Hector Elizondo is asked to weigh in on the Mandy Patinkin brouhaha. (He worked with MP on Chicago Hope.) "Nothing surprises me," he offers. "I wish him well." Translation: Patink crazy!

10:25 pm: Cane show-runner Jonathan Prince offers some hope to fans of his late, great American Dreams. "We're trying to make [the alt ending] available again. I think we're going to do it online." (That sound you hear is me not holding my breath.)

10:45 am: Cane isn't Dallas. Or The Sopranos. It's a little of both. So says exec producer Cynthia Cidre.

10:56 am: Nestor Carbonell has no clue if he'll be back on Lost next season. Or why his character never aged.

SHARK PANEL

11:15 am: This session is dubbed "informal," which basically means everything's smaller: the room, the panel, the gaggle stampede, the overall interest....

11:19 am: Stars James Woods and Jeri Ryan take their seats alongside exec producer Ian Biederman. Woods has a history of saying really inappropriate stuff, so this should be a fun session.

11:20 am: Woods just referred to Shark as "extremely successful" and "such a big hit." He must get the same Nielsen ratings as Donald Trump.

11:20 am: Biederman says the sexual tension between Woods and Ryan's characters will continue to linger, prompting horndog Woods to beg, "Just one time! A hotel room, a closet, anywhere! I'm working for scale this year just on the hope!"

11:23 am: Woods references Ryan's hotness for the second time.

11:25 am: Woods references Ryan's hotness for the third time.

11:28 am: Woods references Ryan's hotness for the fourth time.

11:29 am: Woods concedes that Shark's long hours took its toll on him last season. As a result, he met with producers and had his Season 2 sked "dialed back five percent... from 160 hours a week instead of 140."

11:33 am: Addressing the mysterious exit of Sam Page, Woods says his costar asked to be released from his contract to do a movie. Not sure I'm buyin' what he's sellin'.

11:34 am: More on Sam Page: We'll learn in the season premiere that his Casey character left to run his father's campaign for governor.

11:36 am: Woods references Ryan's hotness for the fifth time.

11:41 am: For some reason, Woods is taking us through the six stages of moral development as theorized by Piaget and Colberg.

11:43 am: We're up to Stage 5. Jeri Ryan is doing an amazing job acting like she's interested.

11:45 am: He just finished Stage 6. My head hurts.

11:47 am: Woods doesn't believe in vigilante justice "except if I were pissed off about something. You know, [if] I get lousy customer service I want to get involved in a workplace killing. [Pretending to be on the phone] 'Where in India are you, mother f---er!'" (Told ya it'd be lively!)

11:48 am: Woods announces his desire to make a "politically incorrect" comment on the whole Isaiah Washington saga. "I'm so tempted to say it, but I'm not..." Just as a CBS rep is about to bring the session to a halt, Woods mutters this under his breath: "I'm sure we could [use the F-word] and kid around and have a good time. But, no, somebody would take it the wrong way. All the CBS people in the back of the room are sh--ting themselves right now.'" And just then, a CBS rep interrupts with, "Soooo... this concludes our session... "

11:47 am: During the mini gaggle stampede, I make a beeline for Ian Biederman and ask him to better clarify the circumstances surrounding Sam Page's departure. "When we were in the midst of bringing Jeri's character onto the team and sort of realigning things for the next year, it just became a matter of chemistry and balance and how many bodies we could have on that team. And Sam had this [film] opportunity, so it seemed to be a mutually beneficial thing." Now that I'm buyin'.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER PANEL

12:01 pm: For an informal session there sure are a lot of people here. It's standing-room only! They easily could have held this in the main ballroom.

12:03 pm: In introducing the panel (Neil Patrick Harris and exec producers Carter Bays and Craig Thomas), the CBS publicist announces that HIMYM is entering its fifth season. Wow, time flies!

12:05 pm: Scoop! The season premiere will focus on the aftermath of Ted and Robin's breakup. Also, a major hint will be dropped about the mother. Teases Bays: "Episode 1 will show that we haven't forgotten the title of our show, in a very big way."

12:09 pm: Scoop! Also in the premiere, Marshall will give Barney a rather large clue about when his highly anticipated third slap will be delivered. (Hint: It involves a website called slapcountdown.com. Don't bother checking the site, though, there's nothing there. Yet.)

12:14 pm: NPH admits he was "terrified" waiting to learn the show's fate last May. "I thought a pickup was certain.... Then all of a sudden, this sort of pendulum shifted."

12:18 pm: The highlight of NPH's hiatus was the 20-day trip to Italy he took with his partner.

12:20 pm: Scoop! Thomas hints that this season we'll meet the woman who stole Barney's virginity. And she sounds frightening.

12:22 pm: Scoop! There'll be lots of drama (and comedy) when Marshall and Lily purchase their first New York apartment. Marshall's work issues will also take center stage when he realizes that environmental law may not be the most lucrative career path.

12:30 pm: Scoop! CBS greenlit 24 episodes of HIMYM this season.

12:35 pm: Scoop! Wayne Brady will reprise his role as Barney's gay bro in a flashback episode that shows him "before he was gay... and very macho and overcompensating."

LUNCH

12:48 pm: Tomato sandwich on whole wheat bread, pickles, artichoke salad, and two chocolate mousse thingys.

KID NATION PANEL

2-3 pm: Nap time!

MOONLIGHT PANEL

3:24 pm: Jason Dohring sighting!

3:25 pm: New show-runner David Greenwalt insists Moonlight is not Angel, his last show about a Los Angeles-based vampire detective. "There are no other demons, no other monsters," he says. "It's a sleek modern world. The whole look and feel of the show is different." He adds that it nonetheless has all of his favorite things: "Deep heart, big love and funny."

3:29 pm: Series star Alex O'Loughlin (The Shield) sets the record straight about rumors that he's the son of the late lead singer of AC/DC, Bon Scott: "I'm pretty sure he's not my dad."

3:45 pm: A reporter mispronounces Viagra "vee-AAH-gruh." Sporadic giggling ensues.

3:52 pm: I'm learning a lot from Greenwalt about the ins and outs of being a vampire. For instance, how exactly does one vampire make another vampire? "That's very simple. First, you have to have a vampire. Then that vampire drinks your blood, and then you have to have drunk some of their blood before you sort of die for a moment and then you come back to life. It has to be an exchange of vampire blood, not just a vampire drinking your blood." Good to know.

3:54 pm: More Vampire 101 lecturing from Professor Greenwalt: "You will stay the same age for all eternity unless someone cuts off your head or sets fire to you." Again, good to know.

BIG BANG THEORY SESSION

4:16 pm: It's Three's Company if Janet and Chrissy were brilliant male physicists (played by Johnny Galecki and Jim Parsons) and Jack was, well, Chrissy (played by Kaley Cuoco).

4:21 pm: Exec producer Chuck Lorre is getting pissy with a journalist after he complains that Cuoco's character is too dumb in the pilot. Lorre disagrees and advises the reporter to watch it again and "try harder."

4:30 pm: Echoing Lorre's sentiment, Cuoco insists her alter ego is "not just the dumb girl next door." Apparently, I need to rewatch that pilot, too.

4:42 pm: [Crickets]

4:44 pm: [Crickets] Um, CBS, time to stick a fork in this session.

4:45 pm: Cuoco once again insists that her character isn't stupid. It's not a lie if you believe it.... Except in this instance, when it's quite clearly a lie.

4:46 pm: Session over. Heading off to the "The Big Bang Happy Hour" at the lobby bar for some wine and spirits. See ya back here tomorrow morning for the panel on Jericho and my reaction to the Emmy noms. Go, FNL!

See Today's News for CBS' complete fall-premiere schedule.