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Ask FlickChick: Which Movie Clichés Are the Worst, and More
Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible III courtesy Paramount Pictures
Ask FlickChick: The lowdown on movie cliches, Jenny Wright is missing and more movie questions...
Question: Some friends and I were discussing movie clichés the other day and I was wondering which ones you hate the most. Some of the ones we discussed were:
• The vehicle chases where they always end up near some train tracks and the pursued just makes it across ahead of the speeding train and eludes the pursuer. I mean, what are the odds?
• The girl or guy is running away from the ax/chainsaw/machete-wielding maniac, jumps in their vehicle and it doesn't start. I mean, my car almost always starts.
• All bombs are defused with less than 10 seconds to go. Just once I'd like to see a bomb that had 12 hours left so the hero has time to order a pizza, call his girlfriend and then defuse it.
So, which ones really make your eyes roll back into your head? — Steve "Butthead" Mross
FlickChick:
• The dog that never dies (not that I want the dog to die, but half the population of New York could get sucked into a cosmic sinkhole and the dog would still escape).
• The fireball that throws the hero towards the screen but leaves him with no more damage than a couple of bruises.
• The suspense-dissipating cat in the closet ([Mrrrrrrrooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww]).
• The shadowy area at the upper right-hand side of the screen during a suspense scene — the one someone or something is going to appear out of.
• The audition montage and its cousin, the bad-date montage.
• The barefoot, wounded running girl who keeps falling down and yet stays a few steps ahead og the psychokiller pursuing her.
• The bad guys who can't shoot straight.
• The villain who talks and talks and talks when he should just kill the hero before the hero gets the drop on him, and the victim who finally overpowers the bad guy and doesn't make goddamned sure he's dead before turning away.
• The female cops/detectives/Secret Service agents in high heels (ask any woman how fast you can run in heels).
• The car chase that ends with the car in pieces and the driver unscathed.
• The brilliant psychopath who can think 10 moves ahead of everyone else and knows exactly how everyone will react to every new development.
Readers, your unfavorites?
MORE CLICHES: I just ran across this piece on cliches, pegged to the release of (surprise!) Rush Hour 3.
Question: I am a new fan of Near Dark, which I saw on cable. Did you ever find out what became of Jenny Wright? — John H.
FlickChick: Not only have I not found out what happened to Jenny Wright, but no one else has either. In fact, I recently took a look at the Near Dark DVD extras, and there's a moment where Adrian Pasdar looks directly at the camera and says, "Jenny, if you're out there... I miss you."
There's a fansite whose webmaster apparently had some contact with Wright and her mother, Marilyn, around 2000, during which time Marilyn sent an e-mail saying that Jenny was not quite "ready to emerge from her shadows." A band called Davy Shannon & Callian's Dream wrote and recorded a song called "Near Dark Jenny" in 1999. But there's still no sign of Jenny Wright herself; I hope she resurfaces or that someone can share some news.
Question: Hey, I really enjoy your column! I had heard a year or so ago that the author Janet Evanovich had been approached about a movie featuring her Stephanie Plum character. As a die-hard "Cupcake"/Joe/Ranger fan, there is nothing I'd love more than to see these characters come to life on screen. Do you know if there has been any progress made on getting this movie made? Thanks for your consideration. — Jan
FlickChick: Unfortunately, I have nothing good to report. TriStar bought the rights to One for the Money in 1994 "for over a million dollars," by Janet Evanovich's account, and all they've done with them is develop a 2002 television pilot with Lynn Collins as Stephanie Plum and General Hospital's Tyler Christopher as Joe Morelli (not the kind of big-name casting likely to flutter a fan's heart). As far as I can tell, the pilot was never made.
A theatrical version of One for the Money is in development, with Reese Witherspoon attached to play Stephanie (Sandra Bullock — whom Evanovich has always said would be great — and Jennifer Lopez were previously mentioned for the part), and her Type A Films is one of the production companies working with TriStar. The script has been through at least seven writers to date and the producers include Wendy Finerman, whose recent credits have been The Devil Wears Prada and Drumline; she was involved with the TV pilot. And that's about all there is to tell: There's no start date, no director, no casting beyond Witherspoon. But the project isn't dead, and that's a lot more than you can say for most things that have been hanging around unmade for 13 years. So don't give up hope.
Question: I have an old New York newspaper from 1945 that had an advertisement for a movie called Bewitched. The premise was a woman with spilt personalities. I can't find very much information on this anywhere. Do you have any information or know where I can get a copy? — Patrick
FlickChick: This is a tough one. Bewitched (1945) was a very low-budget MGM B-picture (back when that term meant a short, cheap movie made to play on the bottom half of a double bill) made by Arch Oboler. Oboler was famous as the writer of the "Lights Out" radio series — Bill Cosby's famous "Chicken Heart" riff (about being left at home alone and scared to death of the giant chicken heart) was inspired by one of Oboler's episodes. Oboler went on to make nearly a dozen low-budget pictures, including cult sci-fi pictures Five (1951), The Twonky (1953) and The Bubble (1967).
Bewitched is a psychological horror story — as were several of the stories written for "Lights Out" — about a young woman (Phyllis Thaxter) with multiple personality disorder. Shortly before she's about to get married, she starts hearing a voice (belonging to noir chippie Audrey Totten) that drives her to move away and start a new life. But the voice, which belongs to her violent second personality, follows her and eventually drives her to murder. Edmund Gwenn, best known as the original Miracle on 34th Street's Kris Kringle, plays the psychiatrist who puts a name to the disorder that made her kill. For all its apparent melodramatic clunkiness — I can't speak from personal knowledge — it predates movies like The Three Faces of Eve (1957) by more than a decade.
Now, the bad news. It's been released on VHS, but I couldn't find a single copy for sale. I did run across someone selling noncommercial DVDs on the ioffer site, with which I have no experience. So it's going to be tough to find, but if you're determined, you can satisfy your curiosity about Bewitched.
Send your movie questions to FlickChick.
See Maitland McDonagh and Ken Fox review this week's new flicks on the Movie Talk vodcast!
Hear Maitland on the weekly podcast TV Guide Talk!
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Aug 1, 2007 5:59 PM
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I hate how in almost every single movie or TV episode with a jury they feel the need to copy 12 Angry Men. In all the times I've seen it, from Sit-coms to dramas to movies, I've never seen the lone juror arguing the innocence (or guilt) of the accused not manage to sway the entire jury. It's all too predictable.
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Aug 1, 2007 6:10 PM
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Nice one!
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Aug 1, 2007 6:13 PM
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I hate the cliche airport goodbye scene, especially the ones where the one left behind "changes their mind" at the last minute and tries to get to the soulmate's gate in time.
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Aug 1, 2007 7:06 PM
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How about the slow-mo walking away from an exploding car without flinching? Or the hero(ine) always dropping the knife/gun/weapon WAY too soon?
The immortal dog comment reminded me of 1975's The Hindenburg-at the end they showed the mugshots of the survivors and the deceased--the only reaction from the audience was massive cheering when they show that the dog was a survivor!
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Aug 1, 2007 7:07 PM
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Unfavorite cliche?
How about when the bad guy gets the drop on the hero and his gun jams just at the moment he needs it most. 'Cause that happens in real life all the time.
People who speak out loud the words they are typing.
Little kids who are computer experts (Jurassic Park, I am looking in your direction).
The hero who drives up to a building and gets the "Kojak" spot right out front.
The photo album/scrapbook that shows how the villain got to be the way he is... in chronological order no less.
The messy guy's apartment always has a refrigerator with old boxes of Chinese food that smell horrible.
Hey now, I love the ubiquitous barefoot, wounded running girl of horror movies. I feel cheated if there isn't one!
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Aug 2, 2007 2:18 AM
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I hate it when the protagonist leaps forward to (successfully) avoid an explosion.
I hate it when character with a rapid fire weapon is firing at another who is running perpendicular to the line of fire and the shots all miss usually landing behind the runner. All the shooter would have to do is sweep the weapon even to the point where the runner would actually run into the bullets.
I hate it when the adversary cannot possibly know the cop/detective/hero's next move but does anyway because of a double cross that always comes from the protagonist's boss/mentor/father figure/ex-partner-the "last guy you'd expect".
I hate it when the guy gets the girl through machinations that would get a real person arrested for stalking.
And these things I never understood or liked about Westerns or some crime movies:
Why does the bad guy throw his gun at his pursuer when they aren't even close enoough for it to be an effective missle?
Why oh why do gunmen without holsters put revolvers down the front of their pants pointing directly at that most irreplaceable of body parts?
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Aug 2, 2007 4:46 AM
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Oh yeah...I used to hate the "You don't want to pull that trigger. Give me the gun son" scene between the wise elder and the young hothead. The kid always breaks down and, usually sobbing, hands over the weapon. Such scenes were already cliche' before I was even out of grade school. I was just about 9 years old when I saw such a scene in The Sound Of Music but even at that age I let go a cynical laugh when the kid does the unexpected and pops a (non-fatal)cap into the Christopher Plummer character.
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Aug 2, 2007 4:55 AM
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I'm trying to think of what kind of movie this might apply to but I suppose it's mostly for the tv 'CSI' genre. Eek!
I hate it when the scientist is:
A. All knowing.
IE His specific degree could be in atomic bombs but then he knows everything about what kind of flower and species of bird known to man.
B. Explains what they're doing to another scientist.
I can understand explaining WHY they're doing it but when they go off about how they're 'illuminating the blood with luminol.' Duh.
I realize they do this for the viewers but it's just so irritating for some reason!
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Aug 2, 2007 8:40 AM
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My favorite was pionted out by my father when I was young. Every cop movie has a pissed off boss always yelling at them. The cops are in a chase and must have killed about 100 bystanders and destroyed the whole town. The angry boss calls them in yells at them for what they have done. The rant usually ends with something like "Don't ever let this happen again, now get your ass out of my office!" The cops then return to work without any diciplinary action taken, except the scolding from angry cop boss.
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Aug 2, 2007 9:02 AM
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1. Characters leave a meeting or party where something interesting happened, then wait until they get home before they discuss it.
2. Character turns off the light to go to sleep, but another light (from a different angle) clearly comes on at the same time.
3. Rewinding tapes always make the garbly sounds like reel-to-reel tapes used to and always stop at the perfect place.
4. Phones ring at a much faster rate than in real life (so you can know that no one is answering in 10 seconds instead of 30).
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Aug 2, 2007 9:09 AM
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1) My late father-in-law always used to laugh when the federal agents would speed to the the location the bad guys were hiding, with wheels squealing, jump out of the cars slamming the doors, and THEN the lead agent would put his fingers to his lips to caution everyone to be quiet. I guess they hoped the bad guys would have the volume on the stereo turned up real loud. (This was specific to Efrem Zimbalist Jr's "The FBI" TV series, but I've seen it on dozens of others shows and movies since.)
2) This is probably "24" specific, but my wife and I would roll our eyes each time the command "set up a perimeter" was given. Seems the bad guy they really wanted would always get through the perimeter. They may as well have saved the manpower!
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Aug 2, 2007 9:44 AM
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How about when the protagonists are wathing TV news to get the latest info on the case they are involved in. They will hear their story and immediately pickup the remote and turn off the TV. Who does that?
(also) Mr. Furley mentioned the hero setting off the explosion, and calmly walking away without flinching. Imagine a real explosion, everyone screaming and running, and one guy walking away, ignoring the blast - could it be more obvious that he is responsible?
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Aug 2, 2007 10:19 AM
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Irritating cliche moment: when the victim/hero/wrongly accused pulls the knife from the murder victim's body, picks up the gun, covers themselves in the victim's blood, or some other stupid thing that makes them the prime suspect.
I groan every time that happens. 
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Aug 2, 2007 10:19 AM
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My cliche' I hate is explosions in outer space that make sound.
Another is that no matter how fast the victum runs, the walking (and lurching) zombie/pursuer seems to stay just steps behind.
Flickchick's first point about the dogs surviving is right on. But because of that, one of the BEST scenes in Jurassic Park 2 had to be the T-rex with the doghouse dangling from the chain hanging out of it's mouth.
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Aug 2, 2007 10:35 AM
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