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Episode Recap: "Chaz Darling"
TV villains throughout the years have ranged from characters that you love to hate to those you simply just hate and wish would go away. Ben (Michael Emerson) from Lost, Alexis (Joan Collins) from Dynasty, J.R. (Larry Hagman) from Dallas and Abby (Donna Mills) from Knots Landing would fall into the first category. Eden (AnnaLynne McCord) definitely belongs in the second one. Ugh! The character has no redeeming qualities I actually cringe whenever she is on screen. Do I find fault in the actress' portrayal? No. I just think Eden is being written to be way too hateful. Interesting to know that everyone I talk to about the show agrees: Thumbs down to Eden! Same goes with most of you who have posted comments here (Michael Jackson's "You Are Not Alone" runs thru my head when I read most of the comments).
When Eden first appeared in this episode, it seemed she was heading in a better direction. When she encouraged her BGF (Best Gay Friend) Chaz (Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye) to come to McNamara/Troy to fix the enlarged areola surrounding his left nipple, I was hoping she was just trying to be cordial by bringing the boys new business. No such luck. It was only a matter of time that Eden would try and get her clutches on Christian, threatening to tell Sean that Christian slept with Julia. Christian was definitely my favorite character this week since he was able to set Eden up by giving her all those prescription drugs and making it look like she came to him out of desperation. It was also wonderful to hear him tell her she didn't need liposuction. It was about time Olivia and Julia took the guys' side over Eden's and agreed to forcing her to go to rehab for six weeks. Although it was an awesome moment when Eden exited and said she'd tell Sean everything once the six weeks are up, we all know the 18-year-old is not going to last that long. Side note to FX: If you're readin' this, please start heedin' and quit feedin' us Eden. Or at least sweetin' her up. I hope I'm not beatin' a dead horse here.
Speaking of beating a dead horse, we all knew it was inevitable that Sean and Kate wouldn't last. After the diarrhea-in-the-hot-tub scene a few weeks ago, their courtship hasn't exactly been exciting. First Sean got her to dress up in a school girl's outfit, which brought on the hot sex Sean was yearning for. But after their unsuccessful attempt at partaking in a swingers' party, their relationship went down the toilet for good. While I'm on the subject, I hope Sean, Christian and gang get to experience more LA-specific adventures. A good friend of mine back in Chicago gets a kick out of telling me about the swingers' parties she attends there in the suburbs. So just in case any of you've never heard of them, swingers are everywhere, not just here in L.A. That was Boris Kodjoe from Soul Food as Mr. Forrest, the party host who came to McNamara/Troy to get rid of his back-scratch fever.
My favorite guest star was John Schneider as porn empresario Ram Peters (nice name). It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how Kimber was going to come up with money to fund her and Matt's crystal meth addiction: go back to porn. But how hilarious was it when Ram shot down Kimber's bid to get herself back in the business and then suggest that Matt give it a try? I never thought I'd ever hear Bo Duke or Jonathan Kent say these lines: "Whattaya say we give your hubby there a shot? I saw the pregnancy video you guys did online it was very good." Then to Matt: "You got talent and besides, you're packin' a fire hose down there and that's marketable." Oh no he didn't. Yes, he did, but thanks to Kimber, Matt actually didn't end up doing that gay porn film. I guess we won't be seeing any coming attractions for "First Time Fairies II" featuring newcomer Matt McNarama as Ricky Boy, the "sloppy bottom" getting that strip search in prison. I enjoyed Matt's brief fantasy of a cleaner life with Kimber, but with Kimber sleeping with their drug dealer Rob (Joel Bissonnette) towards the end, let's not expect that clean life anytime soon.
Other random things I'd like to point out:
When Chaz first showed Christian his enlarged areola, my first thought was: "Now there's a nip that needs a tuck."
It was the pot calling the kettle black when Eden referred to Julia as "the Witch of Eastwick."
That Ram's porn business had day care for their staff and that Ram's wife Busty (Lisa Arturo) supervised it. I loved that Busty recognized Kimber from her...years of hard work.
That Ram knew right away that Kimber was a meth addict due to her weight loss and bad skin. Oh, Kimber. Hugs, not drugs!
I am loving the continual slams against Scientology. Kimber to Ram: "I got mixed up in a church. They took all my money."
Best P.J. Bloom music choice: "That's The Way (I Like It)" by KC & the Sunshine Band played while Sean had sex with "school girl" Kate. As KC so eloquently put it: "Uh huh, uh huh."
After Kate told Sean: "At least you didn't want to have sex with an Albino amputee," I thought: "Hmm...don't rule it out, Kate. Ya never know on this show."
Funniest scene was Sean desperately trying to get Kate to quickly leave the swingers' party with him by saying the safety word they came up with: "Big Wheel." Crickets. "Big Wheel." Tumbleweeds. "Big Wheel!!" Exit stage left.
How about the overly honest dialogue between Sean and Kate that lead to their breakup? After Sean admitted that he had to fantasize about other women during sex with Kate post-hot-tub-incident, Kate followed with: "I think your ass is flat" (after praising it earlier). Sean: "I think you're gonna get fat again." Kate: "I think your wife became a lesbian because you made her feel horrible and she hates men now." Sean: "I only asked you to marry me because I was scared, not because I really loved you." Truth hurts.
Truth also helps, so I was glad to hear Sean admit to Christian at the end that he's still in love with Julia.
Read no further if you don't watch the next-week previews. I look forward to more self-parody as Nip/Tuck goes the reality route with Christian convincing Sean to have their lives depicted via a new reality show called "Plastic Fantastic." Feel free to comment about this week and next week, but since several people here hate spoilers, please include the word "spoiler" if you talk about next week. That would truly be fantastic.
You can check out Nip/Tuck-related videos in our Online Video Guide.
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Nov 28, 2007 6:17 AM
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The Eden character has been done before and its never terribly interesting. Its too lame even for Nip/Tuck. Thank goodness Christian finally got the best of her - at least temporarily.
Sean continues to be a pathetic loser. Matt and Kimber are just too predictable. This show is wonderful when it is Sean and Christian together. Keep it at that - and send Matt, Kimber and Eden away.
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Nov 28, 2007 8:48 AM
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mariamb: I completely agree with you about keeping Christian and Sean together. It is funnier like that. When this show is not funny, it is downright depressing and sometimes creepy, and I hate that. It was great the first two episodes. Bring that back. And show more of Hearts and Scalpels and the fabulous Bradley Cooper.
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Nov 28, 2007 9:08 AM
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I thought for a brief second we were going to see a new, more sympathetic side to Eden when her BGF told her she was too big for her dress. No such luck. Though I did love Eden calling Julia out to her mother for not really being gay cause we all know that's coming soon.
The Kimber and Matt story is hard to watch. Poor little baby has the worst parents ever! I half expected the daycare people at the porn company to call child services upon realizing the baby is addicted to Meth but I guess its too soon for that. I enjoyed hearing Kimber's little sob story about how they started down that path. I think watching her dig for pocket change under the carpet was a new low for her and Kimber's def. had a lot of lows on this show.
Also, about that list of likable villains...I gotta toss Heroes' Sylar on that list. But anyway, I'm so psyched for NEW YORK to be on next week's show. She's got that crazy personality that's perfect for this show.
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Nov 28, 2007 9:22 AM
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the whole kimber/matt thing is just killin' me. if anything bad happens to that baby, i'm gonna revolt!
and i'm getting to the point where i'm wishing sean would just bang eden & lose everything and get it over with. i'm so sick of him and his little girl fantasies...the young nanny...now this...ick ick ICK. christian may have his sexual demons, but at least they're all adults. and then sean not being able to handle the adults at the swingers party? THAT was funny.
and where's sean and julia's son? still with grandma? funny how all of the kids are so disposable..unless sean's trying to sleep with them...
and did i miss rosie and her new hubby? what happened with that story?
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Nov 28, 2007 10:42 AM
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First things first, Sayonara, Eden.
Second, the whole time I heard that baby crying I remembered the episode of Grey's Anatomy when that baby was meth addicted because of the fumes in her drug-dealing parents home. I expect a similar ending here...
Third, if Julia and Sean get back together AGAIN, I'm not going to watch the show anymore. Get some &%$#@ new characters that don't sh*t in the pool!
Fourth, Hello, John Schneider. How you doin'?
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Nov 28, 2007 10:56 AM
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It was a good episode, but I am seriously tired of seeing that poor little baby just get pushed to the side for Kimber's meth addiction. It looks to me like Matt at least thinks about the baby. His dream was for a clean life. I really want him to just walk out the door with that baby and never look back. I can't stand Kimber and I wish she would just fade away.
The swinger party was different, but the big wheel part was hilarious
As far as Eden goes I agree that she should either be a little nicer or not be there at all. I loved the part when Christian blew her off and set her up with the pills. That was a good plan, but I think after 6 weeks she will live up to her word and tell Sean the truth. I could tell on Christian's face that he was felling guilty about sleeping with Julia again when Sean told him he was still in love with her. Speeking of Julia, I really don't know what Sean & Christian think is so great about her. She seems pretty needy to me. And again where is Connor?
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Nov 28, 2007 11:30 AM
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Possible Spoiler for 12/11's episode:
Dr. Joshua Lee
Sean tries to recapture his youth through a relationship with Eden; Julia questions her relationship with Olivia after a violent and traumatic event; Kimber makes a decision that devastates Matt.
Can I just say...ugh. Last year, I believe it was Matt Roush that said that Nip/Tuck was the show you watch just because you feel obligated to. And I wholeheartedly agreed. And everyone was saying how rejuvenated it was in the beginning this year. And I agreed again. I am starting to feel like Nip/Tuck is like an abusive partner. After a couple of good weeks, they're back to old habits again.
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Nov 28, 2007 11:54 AM
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Thanks for your riff on Eden, Dave. You hit the nail on the head. I cringe whenever she shows up. The actress is a beautiful girl and I enjoy her acting; I just hate her character (and not in a love-to-hate her way AT ALL!). I wish TPTB would give her a little more depth. And yes, she is 18 and technically an adult, but come on! What 18 yo do you know that could be that pitch perfect in her manipulations? There is not one moment of hesitation or fear. If she is that good, she must have been doing this for years and Olive is just now getting a clue?
Sean and Christian have always been the super couple and that's why their outside the "marriage" daliances don't do well.
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Nov 28, 2007 12:14 PM
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Great review, Dave. I especially agree that they should make Eden a bit nicer or just get rid of her. And I like your suggestion for Matt's porn name! Very funny.
To righteousapple, yes, hello, John Schneider. That man has really aged well. Mama like.
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Nov 28, 2007 12:19 PM
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Although I missed some of the humor the first two episodes had, tonight was good because it let you in on more of the characters & not just over the top weird scenarios.
Eden, I agree, is just plain nasty. I was glad Christian handled it the way he did, especially when he said she was wasn't playing with Sean anymore.
I knew the whole "honesty" thing was going to bite them both in the %$*. The "Big Wheel" line was great!
I like Kimber & Matt & was actually surprised she didn't let Matt do the scene. I did have to laugh at Matt's face/reaction when his "partner" in the scene walked up. I'm anxiously awaiting the time when Sean & Christian find out she's back. You know how she's always pined away for Christian, so I'll be curious to see what they do when that situation presents itself!!
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Nov 28, 2007 12:31 PM
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It was very nice to see my man again, John Schneider, still fine as ever from his Dukes of Hazzard days. I hope he will be back on the show in episodes to come.
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Nov 28, 2007 12:50 PM
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Aww, I was denied my scene of ultimate degradation:
Matt as gay-for-pay "sloppy bottom" so strung out on meth during his scene that he looks like he's enjoying himself, which freaks out Kimber. Matt goes on to become the twink of the moment, which brings his porn career to the attention of his parents...just as he's asking them for more money to support his addiction after hiring his fire hose out to Dawn Budge's fiance. By this time, he's brokered selling his baby to some lesbian couple whom Olivia knows and Christian has worked on (or maybe worked for in his new hobby). Hey, there's an idea: Matt & Christian hiring themselves out as a father/son combo.
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Nov 28, 2007 1:42 PM
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Just a small observation here. If Kimber and Matt are so desperate for money, why are they both still wearing their wedding bands? Those would have been the first things to sell off. Next would be the baby. I'm still waiting for that to happen.
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Nov 28, 2007 4:19 PM
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I, too, am glad that Christian got the upper hand on Eden (interesting symbolism of her name).
Sean makes me sick. It's all fine and good for him to live out his fantasy of being with Eden with Kate who innocently does this to please her man, but when the table is turned he can't bear to fulfill her fantasy...I won't even go into how he might have been threatened by the men at the party... Boris Kodjoe... MAMMA LIKE! I had to use this after seeing it from a previoud poster... it made me smile. (And Jonathan Kent too... sigh....)
The baby meth storyline hearts my heart.
I hate that I still like this show... I just can't step away.....
noooooooooo 
But keep the nice eye candy going with the guest stars....
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Nov 29, 2007 11:03 AM
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