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« Masters of Horror
November 10, 2006: The V Word
Masters of Horror creator and writer Mick Garris said that The V Word wouldn't be a romantic depiction of vampires, and that's definitely true. However, these vampires are not the breed found in cynical, doom-and-gloom existential metaphors like The Addiction or Habit, which is what I was anticipating. Instead, Garris himself wrote a pretty straightforward "teens explore crypts, get bit, get undead, get hungry, get gone" type of story. Michael Ironside, the ugly, angry vampire, was about as entertaining as Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick; too bad we didn't see more of him. I don't know why he carried a parasol in the graveyard, but what I don't know probably won't hurt me.
Even though The V Word wasn't misted, shadowed and full of velvet and candelabras, Garris paid his respect to the romantic vampire by writing in some noticeable nods:
— Ironside's character, "Mr. Chaney" (pretty obvious), is a nod to Lon Chaney, who was first considered for the role of Dracula (1931). The character wound up in the more than capable (cape able?) hands of Bela Lugosi.
— Lugosi and Browning's Dracula received airtime on "Justin's" TV as he was first visited by his recently "turned" best friend.
— The extended, looming shadows of a sharp-nailed hand reaching out and chasing the boys ahead of the vampire resembled Francis Ford Coppola's leering shadow effects in his rendition of Bram Stoker's Dracula. (I don't know if this was Garris' doing or director Ernest K. Dickerson's doing, but it was effective.)
— Blood by needle reminded me of George A. Romero's Martin.
— Blood by glass-slashing reminded me of Near Dark's more gritty, realistic style of... uh... acquisition. (Definitely not romantic.)
— "I don't drink wine." (I slightly rolled my eyes over that one. Come on, it's so obvious!)
— The vampire-with-a-conscience character development reminded me of The Lost Boys' tormented character, "Michael," only The V Word didn't follow the standard "kill the head vampire, save the others" rule.
— I couldn't tell if the garlic on the pizza was really affecting "Justin," or if it was just another nod to classic lore.
— Horror cross over actress gets a mention: Silent Hill's Jodelle Ferland plays the role of "Justin's" little sister, "Lisa."
— A surprise zombie reference gets an honorable mention: "They're coming to get you, Barbara!"
Overall, The V Word was neither spectacular nor awful. I'd call it a popcorn episode meant more for entertainment than visceral, disturbing horror. The V Word will not be listed among my top MoH favorites, but it also won't be on my "worst list." It was simply a linear, suspenseful, haunted-house ride that didn't rise up (pun intended) to my high standards for the on-sreen depiction of my favorite monster, the vampire.
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Nov 11, 2006 2:40 AM
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I have to agree that the episode was far from spectacular, but not completely awful. I enjoyed the first half, but the episode really ground to a halt once the main character became a vampire. This felt like it'd make a good 22 minute Tales From The Crypt episode, but one hour was really stretching it.
I'm excited for Brad Anderson's episode next week. That man has a lot of talent and I'm excited to see what he'll come up with.
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Nov 11, 2006 9:59 AM
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>>I'm excited for Brad Anderson's episode next week. That man has a lot of talent and I'm excited to see what he'll come up with. Posted by teutonicboytoy
Me too! Session 9 is still one of my all-time favorite horror movies... I can't wait to see what Anderson does with his MoH entry. 
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Nov 12, 2006 8:27 PM
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You didn't mention the name "Collinwood". An obvious reference to the classic "Dark Shadows".
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Nov 13, 2006 11:36 AM
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>>You didn't mention the name "Collinwood". An obvious reference to the classic "Dark Shadows".
Posted by starjfa
Ooooh, nice catch! I didn't see/hear that reference, though... where/when was it?
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Nov 13, 2006 12:44 PM
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I agree with the consensus, lackluster but not all bad.
I didn't read the synopsis of the eppy on my cable guide so I was able to thoroughly enjoy the first 25 to 30 minutes of the show...until I realized that is was just a vampire story (and I LOVE vampires,... well you know what I mean). Then, I became very disappointed and was just watching it so I could see the conclusion.
re: Brad Anderson. About two years ago, Session 9 was on cable and I was able to catch like the first half an hour of it. I've always wanted to see the rest of the movie and now I'm definitely going to add it to my Netflix queue.
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Nov 13, 2006 1:16 PM
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>>re: Brad Anderson. About two years ago, Session 9 was on cable and I was able to catch like the first half an hour of it. I've always wanted to see the rest of the movie and now I'm definitely going to add it to my Netflix queue. Posted by blueree
Ooh yes, blueree, get it on the Netflix list pronto!
I don't know how you felt about Blair Witch Project [whether you found it scary or not; I found it quite scary]. Session 9 has that really gritty, "realistic" sensibility, like BWP. It almost feels like a documentary at times.
At some points, I was cringing so hard, I found myself almost climbing up the back of my chair, which is exactly what I did in the movie theater during the last 20 minutes of Blair Witch Project.
Session 9 really got into my head and didn't come back out for a while, which is rare for me. I was almost afraid to turn the lights off the night I saw it, and I went to sleep hearing things. Good stuff. Can't wait for this week's MoH!
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Nov 13, 2006 2:41 PM
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The name outside the building read "Collinwood Funeral Home." I think I heard someone mention that as the Town's name, also. Although the Town in "Dark Shadows" was named "Collinsport". "Collinwood" was the name of the family mansion.
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Nov 13, 2006 4:00 PM
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