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« Desperate Housewives
Episode Recap: "Opening Doors"
The narcotic, disembodied voice of Mary Alice instructed us tonight that when you invite someone into your home, you invite them into your life. Which is bad because… sometimes they refuse to leave. Let's check in with this week's "house guests," who, like fish, have started stinking up Wisteria Lane on the proverbial third day.
Karl: Did you miss Karl? I know I sure did. It's funny to see a guy who loves seeing his ex-wife, if only to flirt with and torture her with his "happy monkey face." The glee with which Richard Burgi inhabits the character -– not to mention the snappy adversarial chemistry he has with Teri Hatcher -- really puts into relief how ineffectual James Denton has become of late.
In a twist of only-on-TV fate, Karl and his knocked-up "skank" child bride (aka the Hottest Law Professor Ever) are enrolled in the same Lamaze class as Susan. Which, naturally, sends her into a signature tailspin of wrongheaded deception, which includes overdressing for class (although, I must say, Hatcher looked sexier tonight than she did last week in pregnancy lingerie) and making Mike say "hence" a lot. Her plan backfires, of course, when Plumber Boy lets it slip that he's on the wagon.
Interestingly, Karl takes no pleasure in the instability of Susan's reality, and displays a level of decency we wouldn't expect from a man who once shared Edie's bed.
Orson: Let's just say it. Kyle MacLachlan has really stepped up to the plate in these latest episodes. His chilly WASP routine was definitely getting old, so I'm glad that he has found more subtle shadings to the character. We've seen him horny, sleepwalking, and now… drunk! Orson is all pitiful-emoticon-looking this week since Bree threw his ass out last week. While Bree initially admitted to Katherine that she would probably let him come home eventually, catching him sucking face with his new martini buddy, Edie –- who "has a habit of picking at other women's leftovers" -- might have pushed "eventually" back a little.
My inner Bree sez: Those martini glasses are way tacky.
Here's my question: How can they possibly keep this a secret? Both Katherine and Edie inquired about Orson's misstep ("Was it something gay?" Edie asked, with a little too much mischief), but in both cases, it was dismissed with little fanfare. Especially in the world of Desperate Housewives, wouldn't you expect the Wisteria Lane grapevine (mixed metaphor?) to be buzzing about what could have possibly rent Ken and Barbie's dream house. Stay tuned, I suppose.
Invisible Baby Watch: So far in the second half of the season, we're 0-for-4 for Benjamin Hodge sightings. Bree briefly mentions that she has to let the sitter go home in the scene with Drunk Orson and Edie, but who does she think she's kidding? There's no such thing as an invisible babysitter.
Ellie: Dude, it's Mallory Keaton as "art student" Ellie, who moves in with the Solises this week after a very funny interview scene, which displayed Carlos' new talent of "hearing" Gaby's eye-rolling and dirty looks and included the disturbing revelation that Carlos may have inadvertently groped a Swedish bodybuilder.
Gaby soon discovers that Ellie has many gentleman callers, from whom she accepts cash payments, which -– in a nice echo of last week's rivalry with the seeing-eye dog – raises Gaby's competitive hackles. "There may be two tramps living in this house, but only one of them is getting paid," Gaby huffs.
The writers are doing an overall great job of incorporating the supporting cast this season, aren't they? Gaby's plan to use her gay neighbors Bob and Lee to find out if Ellie was a prostitute was genius. "You people are theatrical," Gaby explained. The couple bickered amusingly about who was more "straight," but in the end Lee volunteered (he once played Tony in West Side Story "to rave reviews"). Gaby's observation that he looked like the lost member of Wham! was pretty spot-on, and –- surprise! -– Gaby's plan went hilariously awry (Gaby and Bob's play-by-play was a nice touch) in a way that no amount of margarita mix could remedy. Happy Cinco de Mayo, by the way!
So, no, Ellie is not a whore, but she is a drug dealer, specifically she appears to sell huge amounts of cocaine, the nose candy, the Bolivian marching powder, the white pony, the gutter glitter, the happy trails, Belushi… and I hear that next week we'll find out that the cops are on to her. Uh-oh -- it seems that the only tattoos Mallory will be crafting will be of the prison variety. What would Steven and Elyse say?
Inner Bree sez: Check your Tivo. What the hell is the lighting sitch in Gaby and Carlos' bathroom? They have, like, a 3,000-bulb chandelier in there.
Kayla: I am a good person. I like puppies and children and rainbows. But I hate little Kayla Scavo with the intensity of a thousand suns. It seems that Wednesday Adams (shades of Christina Ricci in those tight braids, no?) encouraged the dumb twins to buuuuurn Rick's restaurant down. So yes, she is pure evil, as evidenced by her skilled manipulation of Lynette's plan to sneak her off to therapy without Tom's approval. (Where do these kids learn such warped behavior?)
Also, Parker and Preston and their dumb faces rock, and I don't want to see them break any more limbs, let alone get shipped off to juvie. They remind me of that guy who was the star lacrosse player in high school and is now a fat cop in your hometown and pulls you over over Thanksgiving weekend for running a stop sign (stoptional!) and tells you how cool it is that you live in New York and get to meet celebrities, making all those hours you spent editing the damn school newspaper seem like sweet, sweet vindication -- hypothetically speaking, of course…
Also, I was surprised to see Kayla brushing her doll's hair. How old is she supposed to be? I thought she was older, tween-ish. Shouldn't she be posing topless for Vanity Fair or something?
Wayne: So the Courtship of Dylan's Father came to a head tonight when the reformed wife-beater Wayne finally came face-to-face with Katherine, who was privy to Wayne's reappearance, since she had tailed Dylan using Bree's sound advice (heh). Despite Wayne's claims that he had changed in the intervening 12 years, "Kathy" is not scared of him anymore. She's not the same woman he knocked around, punched, choked, the one whose blood he licked off his knuckles (nice imagery, writers!). She's gone. In her place, we are most fortunate to have Katherine Mayfair, a bread-kneading sociopath who apparently keeps a pistol in the silverware drawer.
You know what I'm going to say. Dana Delany continues to act the Parker House rolls out of this role. Alas, no crumple face tonight. But! Her woman-scorned routine was positively chilling, and I can't wait to see how this storyline's resolution plays out. Only two episodes left, people!
Burning Questions:
Were you as impressed with Housewives' supporting cast as I was this week? Do you hate Kayla as much as I do? Is it shocking to see our beloved Mallory dealing (one more) Peruvian flake? How will L'Affaire du Katherine Mayfair play out? And are your unresolved high-school issues as sad as mine are?
Quotable Quotes:
"I assume you'll want the pewter cat" –-Bree, to Orson, while systematically divvying up their possessions
"How do you feel about Parker House rolls? Personally, I think they're played out." -–Bree, to Katherine
(These two lines aren't exactly knee-slappers, but they represent the detail with which the character of Bree is drawn.)
"Hitch up your skirt and get in." –-Edie, to sad, drunk, homeless Orson
"That would be like having sex with PBS." –-Edie, about Orson
"Cash and I go waaay back." -–Gaby, accepting Ellie's untraceable rent payment
"If he's anything like Ida, he'll wander into my house drunk next time Guiding Light is on." -–Mrs. McCluskey, who periodically popped up tonight, about dearly departed Ida's cat, Toby
"Her mom was kind of a psycho -- apple, tree, maybe not so far…" –-Lynette, about Kayla
Related:
•Exclusive: Gale Harold Gets Desperate
•Party Central: Housewives Have Heart, Tease Finale
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May 5, 2008 12:33 AM
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Fantastic episode
omg i love this show so much u have no idea
i cant believe how evil Kayla is
is too much but so much fun to watch
i love Gabby,she is the best at making me laugh ajjajaja using the gay ones,was genious ajajja
and Bree and Katherine are so great together i hope she stays in the show
and Eddie making the whore thing mmith pbs guy classic ajjajaja
poor Susan,love her
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May 5, 2008 12:56 AM
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I also loved this episode. However I would of liked to see more of Mrs. McCluskey. Anyway, don't feel bad about hating a kid. I hate some kids myself. Espcially the devil ones. I think Kayla needs more than a therapy..... She needs a good ole fashion butt whooping.
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May 5, 2008 1:25 AM
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I spent that entire episode thinking that Ida's cat was going to turn up dead and buried in the Scavo yard by Tom's evil spawn, i was glad when Bree found her. That girl has sociopath written a over which is exacty what Kathrine isn't. Sociopaths have no empathy and can't relate to other people's emotions, which Katherine can as shown by her relationship with Bree
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May 5, 2008 2:00 AM
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By the way, did anyone else notice Joy Lauren's who plays Danille name in the credits? This is the second time I have seen her name in the credits, when she wasn't on the episode.
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May 5, 2008 3:55 AM
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As much as I love Felicity Huffman and her acting, since pre-tornado I’m dis-liking Lynette more and more. She is the most self-centered, stubborn and just plain annoying character on the show. I’m also disgusted that both Tom and Lynette think that it’s ok to cover up for the twins crime and giving them a “harsh punishment” that most kids do as every day chores (dishes, mowing, etc.). What kind of lesson are they teaching their kids? Is it a wonder that they’re as monstrous as they are? Is the police investigation closed just because Lynette gave Tom an alibi? And yes, Mickey, I do hate Kayla as much as you do. I wish it was uncovered that she was the one who started the fire so they could send her to juvie (or the place where Benjamin Hodge must be hiding) never to be seen again.
Glad to see Bob and Lee back. Their scenes with Gaby were hilarious!
I can’t believe that Edie kissed Orson! Yuck! And when hours before she was insulted at the insinuation that she seems fond of everyone’s sloppy seconds.
I think it’s only a matter of time before Wayne turns up dead. Dana Delaney really delivered in the scene where she comes face to face with Wayne after all these years.
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May 5, 2008 4:20 AM
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Mickey, congratulations. Reading your recap was almost as much fun as watching the episode. Great job!
Just as I said last week, Bree is a hypocrite. Too bad Orson doesn't know about Andrew running down Mrs. Solis because he could have offered to accompany the young man to the police! I realize that Andrew had no intent to harm her, but he was driving drunk--and, unlike Mike, who made a full recovery, Mrs. Solis died. You ARE a hypocrite, Bree.
I had thought things were better between Lynnette & Kayla as evidenced by the big hug between both of them when the family was rescued from Mrs. McCluskey's basement. I don't really like Bad Seed Kayla.
Gaby had some great stuff this episode, both in the scene with Carlos & also with Bob & Lee. I loved it.
Gary Cole, you are The Man! You can do it all. I think you're a great addition to the show. He & Dana Delaney really played off each other beautifully. Bravo to both of you!
I even disliked Edie less than usual this week. Bree, for God's sake, get your man back. Yes, it was a crime, but Mike seems to have forgiven him. Why can't you?
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May 5, 2008 4:27 AM
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The Thanksgiving cop story made my day. Hysterical. Great blog. Oh, by the way, the show was also in fine form. I actually watched it in real time.
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May 5, 2008 7:27 AM
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I have missed a couple of episodes so I am a bit confused. I thought Kathryn killed her husband and the aunt knew about it and wrote the note that got thrown in the fire place. She also has gone to a grave marker in the woods, and Susan's nephew saw them fighting the night he went to see her. How is he alive??
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May 5, 2008 9:49 AM
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great recap! loved the show, its been great since it returned. Loved the whole scene(s) with Bob and Lee...halarious....perfect....and the line of the night was definitely
"Her mom was kind of a psycho -- apple, tree, maybe not so far…" –-Lynette, about Kayla
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May 5, 2008 9:58 AM
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Loved the show last night. The line for me was "You people are theatrical!" LOL
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May 5, 2008 10:06 AM
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By the way, did anyone else notice Joy Lauren's who plays Danille name in the credits? This is the second time I have seen her name in the credits, when she wasn't on the episode.
lizzybelle...She was there accompanying Susan to the first class and came back to warn her that her dad was coming with his new wife. She quickly left.
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May 5, 2008 11:02 AM
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hawkman217, you are confusing Danielle, Bree's daughter and Benjamin's biological mom, with Julie, Susan's daughter.
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May 5, 2008 11:16 AM
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Absolutely loved last night! It was great to see Orson drunk! I love the way his character is starting to unravel. How cute was Orson when he told Edie the other divorced men wanted to start a book club!!
I also loved seeing Julie had some screen time this week. I was wondering if they were going to have her know anything about what was going on in her father's life, so I was pleasantly thrilled that she not only knew of her step-mom and new half-brother or sister in the making, but she tried to tell her mother months ago and Susan told her to "talk to the hand" which no one says anymore...
Totally digging the friendship of Katherine and Bree. Sharing parenting advice and all. Seems that both of them are in a bit of a jam right now. It was nice Dylan finally came clean about daddy dearest. I got chills when Katherine and he met face to face. Only a matter of time before the truth comes out!
Best part ever: McKluskey is back! I love her so much. Although not a main character, she is definately my favorite. Her zingers always have me in the floor in tears from my laughter. And tonight was no exception with the "drunk" cat analogy. Something tells me she and Lynette are going to bond and get really close (closer then they already are of course) over whatever horrible thing Kayla is going to do next. I actually cheered when Mrs. McKluskey said she'd watch the kids while they drove off to the hospital together. I was hoping she'd smack some sense into that little brat Kayla (she's definately snapped at her before).
How creepy is the kid playing Kayla? I heard the theme to the Twilight Zone in my head when she was brushing that doll's hair. And convincing the poor dumb twins to jump off the roof? What a little manipulator! I am kind of glad that Tom stood up to Lynette and said all rules should be equal for both his kid and their kids, but how naive is he to not notice that something is seriously wrong with his little girl? I did have to agree with Lynette that he can not bury his head in the sand. Hopefully the broken arm (?? Not sure they ever let us know...) will convince Tom something is up with his kid.
Carlos was as equally adorable as Orson. "So you're telling me that wasn't an arm? I felt an elbow!". I love the new addition of Elle. I wasn't a bit surprised to see those drugs in her drawer.
On a side note: I was glad Toby survived the Tornado (we know the fate of most animals on this show are not so good. First Bongo, then the Scavo dog). So yay for actually showing Toby! How darling is that fat cat? And also, yay! Roxie was around in this episode too!
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May 5, 2008 11:33 AM
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Gabby Solelis is the best character ever created. I swear it. No one else could get away with her level of insensitivity and still be likable. Her best line "Carlos, have you seen my nail file? O right I forgot you were useless". I laughed so hard. Eva Longoira Parker should get an Emmy sometime.
As for Kalya, can we say Damian? That girl is twisted and I wanted to smack her through my tv.
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May 5, 2008 11:39 AM
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