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Vacation Television
I just got back on Sunday from a trip to the Bahamas ? no, really, don't be jealous, it was for a disastrous family gathering, and as much as I want to go into detail, the Web is a small, small place. Anyway, it was a funny lesson about the far reach of American TV. First, it was a JetBlue flight to Nassau, so I spent the entire flight flipping manically between Laguna Beach, a nature show and bad '80s videos (note to self: make VH1 Classic a bigger part of my life). Then there was a long layover before our puddle-jumper flight to the island of Eleuthera. In a lounge full of Bahamians (apparently, many commute to work in this manner), there was one TV showing Rushmore (which I've already seen three times) and another with one of those bad Saturday-afternoon action movies starring Wesley Snipes. My husband and I opted for my laptop and Disc 3 of Beavis and Butt-head: The Mike Judge Collection, Volume 3. It includes the original "Frog Baseball" short and then a bunch of music videos with B&B's commentary (the actual cartoons from the series are on the other discs). Yes, we were in the middle of tropical paradise watching Poison's "I Want Action," Salt 'N Pepa's "Whatta Man" and similar gems from long-forgotten bands such as Jesus Lizard and Tripping Daisy. Well, it definitely postponed my anxiety a bit.
On the flight to Eleuthera, we met my dad's friends, and the wife said that she and her teenage kids all adore Project Runway. The son even met Michael Kors once. It never ceases to amaze me how diverse the show's audience is. She told me that the two houses we'd all rented for the week were equipped with cable TV, so we made plans to find Bravo right away. (From what I can tell, Bahamian TV consists of network stations from South Florida, American and Canadian cable channels, and two networks fully devoted to preaching.) Then there was a tense moment when she mentioned watching the CSI premiere and I worried about Grey's Anatomy; but there were two houses and two TVs, crisis averted. Actually, I had watched as many pilots and premiere screeners as possible before leaving the country, mostly in order to write my columns-formerly-known-as-Watercoolers for work, so this was supposed to be a TV vacation, too. But there we were, on our way to a private beach in a foreign country, scheduling our TV viewing. When we walked into the house, my father, my English stepsisters and stepsister's fiancé were all watching college football on a 46-inch screen. "There is no escape," I thought.
Fortunately, perfect sunny days on an empty, white-sand beach with crystal-clear water, a rented motorboat for snorkeling, and a handful of fashion magazines managed to keep me clear of the tube for a while. But TV was often a topic of conversation. The stepsister's fiancé, who lives in central England, chatted with us about Little Britain, The Osbournes, The Office, Stargate SG-1 and Lost (he's big on downloading current eps from newsgroups, not waiting for their delayed foreign broadcasts). Their family friend's 12-year-old daughter was also visiting from across the pond, and she's obsessed with 50 Cent, Busta Rhymes and CSI: Miami. How funny. When I was 12, I was obsessed with Jane Austen novels and Masterpiece Theatre's BBC imports. Yeah, I was also a big nerd.
By Wednesday evening, I think all that sun, relaxation and Bahamian beer finally got to us and the aforementioned disastrous conflict I cannot go into detail about occurred. When all the yelling and storming out of rooms was done, I went back to retrieve something from the other house and all of the neutral, nonfighting guests had settled in for the season premiere of America's Next Top Model. The hubby and I left the following morning for a few peaceful nights at a yoga retreat in Paradise Island. More sunshine and white, empty beaches, not a TV or a family member in sight. Missing the Grey's premiere was a rather small price to pay. On Sunday, we were fully recovered and blissed out by the time we boarded the plane back to New York. One of the yoga teachers, who'd just spent weeks meditating, stretching and improving her karma on the beach, was also on our flight. When I saw her as we made our way to baggage claim, she gave me a guilty grin and said, "That was great. I just watched the Project Runway marathon the whole way home." Yep, it's good to be back.
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Sep 26, 2006 1:00 PM
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