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« Ramblings From A Cracked (by the LPP) M&M
Why Philly Took Up Golf
A GOLF STORY
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. "I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied:
'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'
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Jul 18, 2008 9:02 AM
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Don't knock it. It got me a second date!  
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Jul 18, 2008 9:28 AM
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LOL...I'm not sure yet whether being one of the few guys on this site is a good thing; you get to be part of one of Mannie's funny stories, but you never know how they'll end up!
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Jul 18, 2008 10:41 AM
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Ten years on a deserted island
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!", he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"
And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"
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Jul 18, 2008 11:25 AM
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Good ones, guys. Thanks for the laughs.
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Jul 18, 2008 12:00 PM
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MANNIE!!!! 
Too funny!!!!!
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Jul 18, 2008 12:08 PM
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I feel sorry for the guys on here too Megan!!! I was going to make this about John but I used him yesterday. Now I need to find something about Ranger!!!
Great joke Ranger!!!
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Jul 18, 2008 12:50 PM
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Don't forget Furley. Equal opportunity poking, I say!
I'm having a weird day. This was a good funny to get my mind off that weird to this weird.
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Jul 18, 2008 1:13 PM
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LOL Mannie & Ranger! What fun for a Friday!
Is it 5PM yet? I'm ready for the weekend to start.
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Jul 18, 2008 1:30 PM
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And Joey and Rod too... I'm starting to feel sorry for the guys here.
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Jul 18, 2008 1:32 PM
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This is an old one and nothing about golf!
A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches
and says, "We don't serve
beer to bears in bars in Billings ."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him
again, more forcefully,
"We don't serve beer
to belligerent bears in
bars in Billings ."
The bear, very angry
now, says, "If you don't
serve me a beer, I'm
going to eat that lady
sitting at the end of
the bar "
The bartender says,
"Sorry, we don't serve
beer to belligerent,
bully bears in bars in
Billings "
The bear goes to the
end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman.
He comes back to his seat
and again demands a beer.
The bartender states,
"Sorry, we don't serve
beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings
who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm
NOT on drugs."
...........
...........
...........
The bartender says,
"You are now. That
was a barbitchyouate .
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Jul 18, 2008 2:03 PM
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Ranger!
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Jul 18, 2008 2:07 PM
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I took up golf so that I could wear all of the latest fashions....
Ralphies' got to look good while swingin' his club!!
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Jul 18, 2008 2:23 PM
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Ranger:
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Jul 18, 2008 2:27 PM
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OMG!
That's all. OMG!
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Jul 18, 2008 3:02 PM
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