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« Ramblings From A Cracked (by the LPP) M&M
My Date Last Night With John Stone & Jr.
Can you believe some of the things John said to me last night????
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight
started....
*********************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Milller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when
the fight started.
************************************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She s aid, 'That
silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
***********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been
sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating
that long?"
And then the fight started.....
********** * ************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's how the fight started.....
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Jul 17, 2008 8:40 AM
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BWHAHAHAHAHAH! Those are funny Mannie!
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Jul 17, 2008 8:48 AM
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Hee. Mad cow!
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Jul 17, 2008 9:53 AM
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The jokes are good but I don't get it.
Are you saying that you had a date and then the fight started?
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Jul 17, 2008 10:02 AM
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The jokes are good but I don't get it.
Are you saying that you had a date and then the fight started?
*hahahaha*
Good one ZZZ999
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Jul 17, 2008 10:19 AM
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No, I'm just saying John said those things!
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Jul 17, 2008 10:35 AM
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Oh wait ~
I think I get it now
1 ~ He had gas
2 ~ He wanted YOU to buy the beer
3 ~ He showed you his gray chest hair
4 ~ You HAD to start drinking
5 ~ His ____ is dwarf sized
6 ~ He called you a cow for laughing
Is that what happened Mannie?
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Jul 17, 2008 10:50 AM
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Mannie - how funny! Can't wait to hear what John will say!
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Jul 17, 2008 11:10 AM
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Hey - I saw you guys last night and took a photo!
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Jul 17, 2008 11:27 AM
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Julie, you're gonna get me shot by John!!!! That's great though!!!!
I'm kind of afraid to hear Cindy!!! I might feel a punishment coming on!!!
I LOVE the pic you took Ranger!!!
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Jul 17, 2008 11:39 AM
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Julie, you're gonna get me shot by John!!!!
You may want to rephrase that....
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Jul 17, 2008 11:46 AM
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John, I think you need to bend Julie over your knee. She's being naughty (as usual)....
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Jul 17, 2008 11:50 AM
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I'm not worried ~ He won't touch me.
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Jul 17, 2008 11:59 AM
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And some people say I can't show a girl a good time. Sheesh.
I don't remember saying the third one though.  ">
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Jul 17, 2008 12:09 PM
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