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« M&M musings
SPRING HAS SPRUNG!!!
Spring anyone?
I for one couldn't be happier. Officially here, spring arrived at 5:48 this morning and while we have had flurries so far today, we are supposed to get 4 days of sun for Easter weekend. YAY!!! We made it Trish!
THE TEA PARTY
A toddler was given a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of her favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, her Mom came home.
Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!"
The Mom waited, and sure enough, here she comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.
Mom watches him drink it up and then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?"
And how is your first day of SPRING? 
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Mar 20, 2008 10:52 AM
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I'm annoyed it is the first day of spring and the temp is 71 and cloudy yesterday on the last day of winter it was 84 and sunny, bring winter back
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Mar 20, 2008 11:23 AM
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 Are you kidding me Joey, I will come and hunt you down you know!!! Blasphemy, I tell you.
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Mar 20, 2008 11:26 AM
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Joey, you should read this before you say anything else!
THIS IS AN ACTUAL LETTER FROM AN AUSTIN, TEXAS WOMAN SENT TO THE
AMERICAN COMPANY PROCTOR AND GAMBLE REGARDING THEIR FEMININE
PRODUCTS. SHE REALLY GETS ROLLING AFTER THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. IT'S PC
MAGAZINE'S 2007 EDITORS' CHOICE FOR BEST WEB MAIL-AWARD- WINNING
LETTER.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20
years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the
LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of
running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my
favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on
being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that
maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel
each m onth knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a m enstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered
from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the
month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal
forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from
now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband
likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the
human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know
about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our
intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You
surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last
week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he
told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings
me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of
cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my
uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the
adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you ****ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your
tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling,
laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did
anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did
it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of s ick S&M freak girl,
there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to
jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house
just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a
hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of
glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to
slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to
say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer'
or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bulls***. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
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Mar 20, 2008 11:29 AM
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LOLOLOLOLOL. Well said for her, I hate those commercials too where they say that. I always think "yeah right" must have been written by a single man.
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Mar 20, 2008 11:35 AM
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I can't stop laughing that was hysterical. Are the M&M's trying to tell me something you know I'm a man and we have to be "hit on the head" we do not read between the lines.
We have learned over the years never to answer
"Do I look fat in this"
" I said NOTHING is wrong"
"You don't listen to me"
we are all so confused but isn't the battle of the sexes a wonderful thing.
You know I was only joking about bringing back winter being sarcastic and I knew you never expect that from me.
Have a nice day enjoy Spring everyone.
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Mar 20, 2008 12:00 PM
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I'd be careful, Joey. Our snow bound friends can be violent.
I'm glad that your snow is finally coming to an end, Molly and Trish. It has been raining here, but for the first day of Spring it is in the 50s and sunny. Perfect Spring weather (until my allergies start!).
That letter is hilarious!
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Mar 20, 2008 12:10 PM
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"Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?"
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Mar 20, 2008 12:13 PM
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BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yes I knew that Joey, that's why I said I was going to hunt you down!!!
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Mar 20, 2008 12:19 PM
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Aw, Molly, but that's why we love our Dads so much, right?
Joey, when you hear "I'm fine!" said through gritted teeth - just run for the hills. It'll save you a lot of grief.
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Mar 20, 2008 12:25 PM
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Mannie - Excuse me while I forward that letter to everyone I ever knew!!!
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Mar 20, 2008 12:28 PM
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Hiya Megan, I hope you're allergies don't kick up too bad, they can be miserable.
John Stone shocked, I must say that's close to a first...what you don't like toilet water?
Hiya Kath, I agree that's what makes Dad's so special.
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Mar 20, 2008 12:36 PM
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At least male ad writers seem to be equal opportunity offenders!!!
Case in point-the Viva Viagra commercials.
Yeah, that's just us guys do-sit around and sing about ED!!!!!!!
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Mar 20, 2008 12:39 PM
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Not looking forward to allergies myself, but I am looking forward to ditching my winter coat.
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Mar 20, 2008 12:42 PM
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Mr. Furley,
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's what I always thought, 'cause I'm sure you have nothing better to do?
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Mar 20, 2008 12:43 PM
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