Hello all, and welcome to the next installment of the blog. Or should I say, welcome to the next installment of the Dirty Sexy Blog? That's right, everything that coincides with this show has now been deemed Dirty Sexy this and Dirty Sexy that, so I feel obligated to follow suit. All departments on the production team have jumped on board and adopted the Dirty Sexy moniker — Dirty Sexy Casting, Dirty Sexy Craft Service, Dirty Sexy Grips.... It's a fact. Even this blog is dirty and sexy — I'm not sure why, but it is.
Yet nothing — and I mean nothing — in life is Dirtier and Sexier than a sex tape.
Yes, that was a not-too-smooth transition to tell you this week's episode [airing Wednesday at 10 pm/ET, on ABC] is about a sex tape. And no, I can't tell you who's in it. But I can tell you that the name of the episode is "The Italian Banker" — if that gives you any clues.
Not only is there a sex tape in this episode, but there are so many other Dirty Sexy plot-points. Last week we left off with Nick cracking the code to his father's briefcase, finding inside a dossier on Simon Elder, the billionaire philanthropist. Did Mr. Elder kill Dutch? That's what Nick is wondering when he takes this discovery to the police. Brian brought his illegitimate son home to his wife and kids, but instead of confessing his sins, he lies and tells them the boy's a Swedish orphan named Gustav. How long will the secret last? Speaking of secrets, Tripp forces Patrick to break up with his tranny girlfriend, Carmelita, before the launch of his senatorial campaign. And they're not hosting his launch at your run-of-the-mill banquet hall. Oh no! It grandiose Darling fashion, they're holding it at Bvlgari, the luxurious Italian jewelry store. Nothing says, "vote for me" better than a three hundred thousand dollar diamond necklace. And Jeremy's secret affair with Natalie Kimpton, Juliet's arch nemesis, threatens to be revealed when Natalie shows up to Patrick's campaign launch.
And that is the tip of the iceberg for this week's episode. You thought I would give more away? Come on.
That wouldn't be neither dirty nor sexy of me to do so. God, I can't stop. I need help.
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